A Bit of Me (8 page)

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A BIT OF ME

Bailey Bradford

47

“Good morning Les,” Xavier said as he walked into the police department. Les looked

at him and shook his head. Xavier’s hope that Randy would see him this time plummeted. In the weeks that Randy had been held awaiting trial, his brother refused to speak to Xavier.

Between the interviews with the attorneys and police officers, Xavier had hung on to the belief that he could patch things up with Randy. That belief was rapidly giving way to the reality that his brother truly hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.

“He still don’t want to see you,” Les said bluntly. “I can ask him again if you want, but…”

“Please,” Xavier grumbled, rubbing at his chest. His brother’s rejection always hit him like a physical pain. Les nodded, got up and headed off to the cells where the inmates awaiting trial were held. Xavier debated once again whether or not he should post bail for Randy—the man had once had more than enough money to do so himself, but he’d blown it all on fast cars and men. But the truth was, he didn’t trust Randy not to run.

“Might be that you need to accept Randy doesn’t want to see you.”

Xavier looked up from the floor he hadn’t really been seeing as Les returned. As much as he hated to admit it, he was afraid Les was right.
If it were only that easy.
It was just that everything in his life seemed to be changing. Randy had turned into a man Xavier didn’t know or like, and Billy was always off with Liam, and—and god damn it, Xavier was lonely and didn’t know what to do about it. And Les was looking at him with that stoic expression, the one that probably made criminals cringe. “Maybe,” Xavier admitted, and it burned his throat to squeak even that out.

Les’ expression softened and he came closer. He laid a hand on Xavier’s shoulder and drilled him with an intense look. “It isn’t your fault Randy turned out like he did. You didn’t make him take drugs or assault Billy. Randy’s thirty-three years old, Xavier. More than old enough to know right from wrong.”

“I know.” And he did, but that didn’t make the pain in his chest go away.

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A BIT OF ME

Bailey Bradford

48

“Go home,” Les said softly, squeezing his shoulder. Then Les shocked Xavier by

grinning, something Xavier rarely saw him do. “Or better yet, go talk to Adam. Charlene was supposed to make some of her cookies, and those chocolate ones will about make anyone feel better.”

Xavier nodded. Maybe that’s what he needed—someone to talk to, and Adam was a

pretty cool guy. Plus, he’d had some of Charlene’s cookies when Adam had brought them into work a while back. There was no doubt Adam’s mom could back and possibly bring

about world peace with those cookies. “All right, I might just do that. Thanks, Les.”

“Yup.” Les thumped him on the back. “Go on then, and maybe think about giving

Randy time to consider what he’s done. Might be best to let him make the next step between y’all.”

“I’ll think about it.” It wasn’t like Xavier was making any progress with his repeated attempts to see Randy.

By the time he got home, Xavier was desperate for something to take his mind off his troubles. The memory of angry hazel eyes flitted through his mind as they often had the past few weeks. Chase Murphy had made an impression, but the way the man had completely

ignored him once Adam had arrived at the hospital had really stung. Xavier got the message.

Chase wasn’t interested. It was a waste of time to think about him, yet Xavier found himself doing so anyway.

As usual, his dick perked up and Xavier groaned. That damn thing seemed to think thoughts of Chase preceded a stroke session. Which, yeah, if Xavier was alone. Today, though, he just didn’t have the energy to bother with beating off. Instead he walked aimlessly around the house and then up the outside steps before he realised what he was doing.

He was hovering, damn it. Xavier stood on the landing, his hand raised to knock on

Billy’s door. Not that he had a particularly good reason to knock, except, well, he was used to checking on the kid. But there wasn’t any need for that now, Xavier realised as he let his hand drop to his side. Billy had someone else to watch over him, someone to care about in return, and Xavier needed to respect that and let Billy have his space.
And Liam, can’t forget
about him.
Billy and Liam seemed to have that connection, the kind where anyone who saw www.total-e-bound.com

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49

them could feel the attraction between them, whether those two were ready to admit it or not. Xavier really did need to let him go.

A loud moan filtered through the door. Yeah, it definitely wasn’t the time for him to come banging on the door. Xavier turned and jogged down the stairs before he could suffer permanent scarring to his brain. There were just some things he didn’t need to hear or think about, and Billy having sex was on the top of that list. Xavier definitely didn’t want to think about what exactly was going on in there that made Billy moan like that.

Xavier jogged across the yard to his place where he stopped on the porch.

“Well, now what?” He looked around the yard. Everything was trimmed and weeded.

He shrugged and went inside, giving the place a good look. The house was spotless. He’d never been particularly messy, but lately he’d become a total neat freak.
Probably some
psychological reaction to the soon-to-be-empty nest.

His heart pinched in a way that had become all too familiar of late. It happened every time he thought of Billy moving away. If this was what being a parent felt like, he wondered why people did it—because it
hurt
. Even if he was proud of Billy, even if he did want what was best for him—which wasn’t hanging around until Xavier keeled over—it just…hurt.

Fuck, he was such a wuss. Wouldn’t the people who thought they knew him be

surprised to discover his hard-ass attitude was all just a cover, at least where Billy was concerned. Xavier knew he was, well, susceptible to being tender-hearted, for lack of a better term, and that was one of the main reasons he kept people at a distance.

Except lately, other people had kind of been slipping through his hard shell. It was as if, once he’d realised Billy was going to finally fly free, he’d been looking towards others to help fill that void.

Xavier snorted at that idea. Obviously he should have taken some psych courses in

college. He kept going back to crap like that while trying to figure out what kind of melancholy hell he was trapped in. He wandered through the house, trying to think of something to do.

A glance at his watch told him it was barely ten in the morning, way too early to go to the club. What would he do there anyway? He’d already scrubbed his office and redecorated www.total-e-bound.com

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it. The bar was stocked and so was everything else. He’d end up sitting at his desk feeling sorry for himself, which was just pathetic.

He could…Xavier’s mind blanked. Obviously he needed to make more friends or find a

few hobbies. The problem with the first was, he’d taken care of Billy for years, and not necessarily legally. Xavier had met Billy when the kid had propositioned him on a street corner in Dallas one night. Billy had been fifteen, but he’d looked like he was twelve. Xavier’s protective instincts had kicked in immediately, and though it’d taken a while to get Billy to trust him and realise that no, Xavier hadn’t wanted to fuck him, they’d done all right.

Especially once they’d moved away from Dallas.

Once Billy had turned eighteen, Xavier had been able to relax a bit and quit worrying about someone from Child Protective Services snatching Billy up and tossing him back into another nightmarish foster home. But by then he’d already perfected the art of keeping others at a distance, although that art seemed to be slipping now.

And really, he hadn’t had time for hobbies. He’d spent the last few years building up the club, and even if it wasn’t quite what he’d envisioned when he’d first opened it—or maybe it was, and he’d just matured enough to no longer find all the sex going on in the place titillating—he was content with it. If not content, at least…resigned?

Xavier sighed and rubbed his forehead. What the hell was wrong with him? Could a

guy have a midlife crisis before he hit forty? Maybe he should Google it later, when he could dredge up the energy to care. If this was a midlife crisis, he couldn’t understand how a shiny new sports car would make him feel any better. And he sure as hell didn’t want two twenty-year-old twinks dangling from his arms. God, he hoped someone would shoot him before he did anything like that!

“Quit being a pitiful pecker,” Xavier grumbled to himself. He was making himself sick with all this internal whining.
Yeesh.
It was past time for this to stop. He needed to get out of the house for a while, and he
had
friends. Les had even told him to stop in and see Adam—

and there might be cookies.

“Sounds like a plan.” Xavier’s new habit of talking to himself might mean he was crazy, but sometimes he just needed to hear a voice, even his own. So it was probably a good idea www.total-e-bound.com

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that he get out for a while. He didn’t think Adam would mind if he just dropped by to say hi.

It had to beat sitting here being all…broody.

As it turned out, Xavier’s day got a whole lot more exciting within seconds of knocking on Adam and Les’ door. He heard yelling—loud, angry and lots of curse words in a voice he was pretty sure wasn’t Adam or Les’. Concerned about his friends, Xavier banged on the door harder than he’d intended, rattling the thing on its hinges.

Then his day got very interesting as well as exciting. Before he’d even pulled his hand back, the door was yanked open. A hard body slammed into his, knocking grunts from them both. The man—and it was definitely a man—started to topple over and Xavier reached out instinctively—and that’s how Xavier found himself with an armful of sexy, furious Chase Murphy.

In the split second he flung his arms wrapped around Chase, Xavier became

immediately aware of two things. Firstly, the man’s scent was the most enticing he’d ever smelt, some mix of aromas that wrapped right around Xavier’s cock, stroking it to fullness in the space of one breath.

The second thing he noticed was how well the man fit in his arms, how perfect that

smaller, hard body felt against his. Xavier had a second’s hope his day and mood were fixing to be improved when Chase shifted slightly and a sharp pain burst over Xavier’s side, stealing his breath. Xavier jerked and loosened his hold on Chase, who stumbled back and glared up at him as Xavier tried to keep his feet under him. His side ached like he’d been hit with a sledge hammer and it dawned on him Chase had somehow managed to nail him hard in the ribs.

“What the hell was that for?” Xavier rasped as he folded his arms protectively over his middle. He glared down at the smaller man with almost as much anger as Chase glared at him.

“You startled me!” Chase finally snapped. “I open the door to leave and there’s a

fucking wall of muscle right there and how is that my fault? You shouldn’t be so…so big!”

Xavier’s anger morphed into something darker and much more enjoyable as he

watched Chase’s cheeks turn ruddy while he ranted. There was more gold in Chase’s green eyes today, maybe because he wore a pale green shirt that pulled the other colour out?

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A BIT OF ME

Bailey Bradford

52

Despite being a blond, he had thick, sooty lashes that somehow managed not to make him look any less masculine. The man just hit every one of Xavier’s switches.

Xavier cocked his head to the side and decided to tease Chase a little since he seemed so tightly wound. “So, let me get this straight. It’s
my
fault you opened the door and ran out of it—with your head turned aside, I’d like to point out—and barrelled into
me
.” Chase averted his gaze, looking down as he ground his teeth, a tic flittering in his jaw. Xavier thought he was the sexiest thing ever. “Then when I try to keep you from bouncing back onto your ass and hurting yourself,
that’s
a bad thing and I get punched in the ribs for it. Do I have a clear understanding of your rationale now?”

Chase gave a jerky nod but still didn’t meet Xavier’s eyes. Adam walked up behind

Chase and shook his head at Xavier, whatever that was supposed to mean. Maybe that he should stop teasing Chase? Adam gave him a pleading look and Xavier sighed internally just as Chase finally turned those beautiful eyes on him and spoke.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Chase glanced back at Adam. “You know I have to see James. I can’t just sit here when he is still out there somewhere!”

What the hell is James to Chase?
Xavier’s stomach burned like he’d sucked down some drain cleaner. He could hear the worry in Chase’s voice, see it in his expression and the stiff way he was holding himself.

Adam came closer and put a hand on Chase’s arm. “Just stop and think for a minute,

okay? You’ve been doing great in physical therapy, but your shoulder is still messed up. You don’t have any money or transportation—”

Chase drooped for a second then stiffened his spine, which he turned towards Xavier.

“Christ, Adam, could you make me sound any more fucking pathetic?”

Adam blushed to the roots of his hair as he darted a glance at Xavier, then back on

Chase. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think—”

Xavier could only imagine how embarrassed Chase must be to have his personal

business bared in front of a stranger. Adam continued to apologise and try to coax Chase into coming back into the living room. Xavier hovered in the doorway for a second, wondering if he should leave. He didn’t want to intrude any further than he had. He might as well just go www.total-e-bound.com