A Bit of Me (12 page)

“Good, I guess,” Chase said in a voice that sent more of those little currents shooting all through Xavier’s body. His fingers itched to feel the sparsely stubbled jaw; to gently cup it and tip Chase’s head back, see if those frowning lips would feel as soft and taste as sweet as Xavier thought they would.

And he’d be an utter fool to act on the need rolling through him like a warm wave.

Xavier knew it without a doubt, yet turning away from Chase and walking towards the other men was one of the most difficult things Xavier had ever done.

Once everyone was settled in the living room, Chase looked at Liam expectantly. The

introductions had all been made, finally. Chase had been distracted for a few seconds, first by Xavier Talbot, then by the rather springy blond with the cute smile and obviously misguided affection for a certain FBI agent. Chase wasn’t inclined to like the blond kid; he seemed entirely too familiar with Xavier. Billy didn’t hesitate to touch Xavier, or smile at him and bat his thick lashes—and Liam sure didn’t seem jealous.

Not that Chase would know anything at all about
that
stupid-ass emotion. Jealousy was petty, a sign of insecurity in a person—he grimaced when, from the corner of his eye, he saw Billy reach over and pat Xavier’s knee. The urge to snarl at the two men startled Chase into shaking his head. What the hell was wrong with him now? It wasn’t any of his business if Xavier, Billy and Liam had something going on. And surely there was another reason for the flash-fire of anger that seared him from the inside out—

“First off, I want to apologise again for not being honest with you.”

Chase blinked at Liam, wondering if the man had been speaking all along or had only

just started. Liam didn’t seem to catch on to Chase’s confusion.

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“I know James means a lot to you. I know you’ve been trying to find him for weeks.”

Liam paused, and for the life of him, Chase couldn’t figure out if it was because he was supposed to say something or not. He settled on arching a brow. Liam cleared his throat and continued.

“Well, I didn’t know where he was, but I kept nagging my boss, and I think I can get something from him…”

Everything else slipped away as Chase focused on Liam, listening as the man spoke

about the private care facility James’ parents had him in. Of course it would be somewhere all the way across the damn country, in some little town in Pennsylvania Chase had never heard of. Then Liam asked if Chase wanted to know about James’ weeks held captive.

Chase looked at the other men in the room. It seemed wrong to have them here if Liam was going to be discussing James. None of the others knew James, and he’d always been a private man. He wouldn’t like them knowing what had happened, even if James never met them. And Chase could sympathise; he hated all these people knowing what a mess he was.

Especially Xavier
, he thought as he looked at the man. The idea of Xavier seeing him like this—a damaged, fucked up man—shredded a chink of Chase’s already dwindled

confidence. He turned back to Liam. “I need to know, but I’d prefer to hear it alone.”

As the other four men stood and filed from the room, Chase couldn’t keep from darting a glance at Xavier. He wasn’t surprised to find the dark-eyed man watching him. He was surprised, and pissed as well, though, to find he wanted Xavier to stay, which wasn’t going to happen. Chase slammed the lid on that thought, and faced Liam.

“It’s okay, you know, to need someone,” Liam began.

Chase snarled at the man. “Don’t fucking start. What happened to James isn’t any of

their business. Just like what I do or don’t need isn’t any of yours.”

Liam looked like he wanted to argue, but he only nodded. “All right, you’re right, of course. I understand, I just…” Liam sighed and waved a hand in the air. “Well, never mind.”

Then he started talking, and Chase wished he wasn’t so alone.

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“You like him.”

Xavier glared at Billy, but couldn’t hold it, not when Billy looked so happy. Max and Bo didn’t seem to share Billy’s joy.

“Who is it you like, Xavier?”

Xavier thought about ignoring Bo’s question, but couldn’t see the point. It would just piss the guy off, and Max, too, and Xavier didn’t want to alienate whatever friends Chase might have. He shrugged. “I think you know.”

Bo narrowed his eyes. Max gave Xavier a long look. “You own that club, the one where people screw on the dance floor or wherever.”

“It’s not like Xav is having them do it,” Billy snapped, rounding on Max. “If he runs them off, he’d have to close the club. He’s not the damned morality police.”

“Whoa there,” Max said. “I didn’t mean anything bad by it, just couldn’t remember the name. Think I blocked it since the one time I went there about scared the life out of me.”

Xavier couldn’t keep from grinning at that. Max didn’t seem like the kind of man who’d visit The Xxchange. “Bet there’s an interesting story there.”

“Not really,” Max told him, his Texas drawl thickening. “You trying to change the

subject on me?”

Xavier wasn’t fooled by Max’s laid-back tone or his relaxed posture. The man was sharp as a tack and anyone who couldn’t see the intelligence in Max’s eyes was sorely lacking themselves. “No,” Xavier assured, “I didn’t mean to derail your question. I just don’t think it’s necessarily your business, or Bo’s, or Billy’s—”

Billy rocked up onto his toes at that. “Hey! It is too my business! How can you say it isn’t? We’re family!”

Shit, he wasn’t thinking clearly, and certainly not before he spoke, but Xavier’s attention was divided on what was happening here and what was going on in the house. He wished to high heaven he could be in there, holding Chase in his arms, but that wasn’t an excuse for shoving his whole foot in his mouth and hurting Billy.

Xavier pulled Billy to him for a hug, rubbing Billy’s upper back. “I’m sorry, that was a stupid thing to say, and completely wrong of me to include you. I’m an ass.”

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Billy muttered an agreement, but he didn’t seem to be angry or hurt. He hugged Xavier tight enough to be uncomfortable, then took a step back, a knowing grin on his face.

“It’s because your mind is elsewhere, right?” Billy winked and tipped his chin towards the living room, not the least bit subtly.

This time Xavier didn’t bother protesting. He locked gazes with Max. “Yes, because I
do
like Chase, although I feel like a teenage boy when I say it like that. But I think he’s an incredible man, and I’d love the opportunity to get to know him better.”

Bo arched a brow at Xavier. “Know him, or
know
him, as in, spend a whole night fucking Chase?”

Xavier didn’t hesitate, and he didn’t temper his answer. “Know him, hopefully more

than that, too. But a single night of fucking? No, that isn’t what I want with him.”

“What
do
you want, then?”

Xavier shrugged at Bo. “I want everything he’ll give me, once he’s ready.” He just

hoped he lived to a ripe old age, because that was about how long it would take him to convince Chase to give him an opportunity. As stubborn and proud as Chase was, Xavier wondered if one lifetime would be enough to win the man over.

Chase hadn’t bothered seeing the men out after he and Liam had finished talking. He

had led Liam to the door only to pull up short after a step or two. One look out of the screen and Chase had turned on his heel and gone to his room. It’d either been that, or run outside and break that damned little twink in half, because Billy was all-the-fuck over Xavier.

And he was
not
brooding about it. He was just…wide awake, staring at nothing since his room was pitch dark. His current state had nothing to do with the image of Xavier’s arms around Billy, the way his big hands had caressed the bubbly blond’s back. Even Chase hadn’t missed the tenderness in the touch, and he had only looked for a second or two, leaving as soon as his brain exploded in fury when it processed the image.

With his nerves already zinging and pinging with anger over learning James had been

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had been walking on a dangerous edge. Seeing Xavier holding Billy had almost shoved him right over it. Every time he thought about it, his vision tinged with red and his head pounded as his body tensed. Chase ignored the pain in his shoulder—it was nothing

compared to the way his chest hurt thinking about what he’d seen out there on the porch.

But hadn’t he thought about a threesome with Xavier as a means to have something

with the man? Chase frowned, remembering the way Billy and Liam had looked at each

other. And Liam had said he was bringing his boyfriend with him… So was that Billy, or Xavier? Were they in a ménage, like Rory’s sister Annabelle and her two men? Would they allow in a fourth just to play?

The growl that rumbled up from his chest caught Chase by surprise. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he feeling something that was awfully close to disappointment over the idea of Xavier being involved with…well, with anyone? Besides him, and didn’t he just hate to admit that?

Chase rolled over onto his stomach gracelessly, his movements jerky with suppressed

anger. What kind of idiot was he, getting all moon-eyed and possessive over a guy he didn’t even want?

Right, because my dick wasn’t half-hard from the second Xavier got here. And I don’t want to
get
involved
with Xavier Talbot, I just want to fuck him. Totally different thing.
He’d even put up with Liam being part of it, if he couldn’t avoid it. As for Billy, well, it wouldn’t be a hardship to fuck that sweet little ass. Chase had always preferred the sweet young men over the brawnier more imposing types. Yet when he tried to imagine touching Billy, cupping that plump ass in his hands, it didn’t turn him on the way he’d thought it would.. What
did
cause his arousal to surge was an image that popped up seemingly out of the blue. It had his cock rock hard in a heartbeat.

Xavier’s hands on his naked body, smoothing down his back, his thumbs pressing in

the divots above the swell of his ass, then moving further down, joining to delve into his crease. Chase’s eyes slid shut as he shuddered. Xavier’s touch would be firm, unhesitating; owning every bit of skin he stroked. Those thumbs would sink in deeper, spreading Chase open all the way down until they rubbed over his ass hole.

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The idea of it was so foreign Chase was jerked out of the fantasy for a moment, but the pulsing of that hidden bud along with the wet spot spreading beneath his bellybutton where his cock lay hard and aching, threatened to pull Chase back in.

It wouldn’t hurt to think about it, would it? People fantasised all the time about things they’d never really want to experience—and Chase had never wanted to feel another man pounding into his ass. Chase shivered, goosebumps marching over his skin. Maybe if he added Billy and Liam to the fantasy…

Chase tried, he really did, but thinking of the other two men made him want to punch something, not fuck something…or be fucked, which—that was fine, since he didn’t really want to be fucked. It was just a fantasy.

“Just a fantasy,” Chase murmured, flopping onto his back. There was nothing wrong

with a fantasy.
They were healthy, even, right?
And maybe if he gave in, he’d get this whole wanting to bottom thing out of his system.

Chase’s eyes popped open.
Wanting to bottom? Seriously?
He didn’t want to, he just…Chase trailed a hand down his chest, stopping to pluck at one nipple. They weren’t particularly sensitive in the first place, but occasionally whoever Chase was fucking would give them a shot, hoping. Tonight he was frustrated and angry, and rougher with his touch than an unfamiliar hand would have been. The hard pinch he delivered to his tit shot a bolt of fire straight to his dick and Chase gasped. He bucked his hips and reached with his other hand to fist his dripping length.

“Jesus,” he muttered. That felt fucking good! Usually when Chase wanted to get off, he just got to it. But tonight was the first night he’d felt ‘up’ to jerking off in weeks, and he kind of hated to jerk and spurt so quickly after such a long drought. He could probably go a few more times, but he liked to beat off with his right hand, and with his shoulder like it was, he’d be lucky to get a good masturbation session in at all.

So, best to take his time, savour it. Who knew what else he’d learn about his body

besides the surprising fact he liked rough nipple play? Chase let his eyes drift shut as he palmed the slick crown. With his other hand, he pinched his nipple, revelling in the sensation he felt all the way to his balls.

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His mind zeroed in on Xavier, the way the other man’s hands would feel on him. Xavier would know what Chase needed, maybe better than Chase himself.
No! This is just a fuck
fantasy, nothing more!
Unwanted, or so he told himself, the fantasy Xavier coalesced above him, dark eyes brimming with lust. Chase panted as Xavier’s lips parted, his head dipping down. Teeth scraped over the delicate skin of Chase’s neck, searing a path down to where his pulse pounded. Xavier would mark him there, branding him as a reminder to them both and a sign to others that Chase was his.