A Bit of Me (9 page)
A BIT OF ME
Bailey Bradford
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sit in his office and write out schedules or something. He’d end up changing them if he made them up too far in advance, but it’d still give him something to do.
“Xavier, are you coming in?”
Xavier glanced at Chase and heat rushed through his body before centring in his groin.
Chase was watching him defiantly, as if daring Xavier to—
to what? Stay? Leave?
Xavier didn’t know which but he did suddenly know which he’d prefer. He looked at Adam and wiggled his eyebrows. “Did your mom make cookies?”
“Of course,” Adam snorted, like it was the dumbest question ever. “And if you want
some, you better get them quick before Les comes home for lunch. Otherwise, you are SOL, buddy.”
Xavier couldn’t resist checking Chase’s reaction to the offer and was surprised to find the man eyeing him hungrily, like he’d taste every bit as good as Charlene’s cookies.
Flattering, but he must not have tried the cookies yet or thoughts like that would never cross his mind.
Xavier came in, shutting the door after him. He considered the seating arrangements in the living room and decided the couch looked the most comfortable. Of course that may have had a lot to do with the sexy man sitting on it. He stopped in front of Chase and waited for the man to look at him. Chase did, his pupils widening slightly and his breath shortening, signs of arousal Xavier knew too well since he reacted the same way to Chase.
“Are you going to try to hit me if I sit beside you?” He couldn’t resist teasing, just a little.
But Chase trumped his teasing by offering a shy, sweet smile that stole into Xavier’s heart. Chase uncrossed his arms and settled his hands on his thighs, all while staring at Xavier. “Not unless you try to get fresh with me, then all bets are off.”
“‘Fresh’ with you?” Xavier asked while he settled onto the cushion beside Chase. “Does anyone even say that anymore?” And why did this feel more like flirting than simple
teasing?
Chase lowered his lashes and looked at Xavier through them, which had to be a major
flirt move. “I just did.” Then as fast as the flirtation had started, Chase pushed it aside. He swept a hand through his hair and tipped his head back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “And I’m sorry for being an asshole. I just—I have some things going on.” He www.total-e-bound.com
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snorted, then groaned and rolled his head away from Xavier. “Not like Adam didn’t make that clear.”
Xavier barely heard the muttered words, but they struck him like hundreds of needles piercing his skin. He ached to make Chase’s life better, no matter what it took.
An unrealistic
desire considering I know virtually nothing about the man!
Maybe this is my midlife crisis after all.
Before Xavier could dwell on it, Adam came into the living room carrying a tray with a plate piled high with cookies and three glasses of milk.
Xavier’s mouth watered with anticipation. Eyes on Adam and the tray of goodies, he
murmured, “Have you ever had Charlene’s cookies before?”
“Oh yeah,” Chase responded in a much friendlier voice. “They’re really good.”
Adam set the tray down on the coffee table and pointed at Chase. “And you’d have
missed them if you’d taken off.” He’d barely finished speaking when the house phone rang.
“Hang on, let me grab that—”
Xavier reached for a cookie while he mulled over what to say to Chase. He wanted to
tell him not to worry about the stuff Adam had blurted out, that it was who Chase was and not what he had that made him worthwhile. It sounded trite. Chase would probably find it offensive and Xavier wouldn’t blame him, because even if it was true, he understood how, as a man, Chase’s ego and pride were tied directly into his wealth and success—or lack of both thereof.
“Chase, Agent Shearing is on the phone for you, returning your”—Adam hooked two
fingers in the air to form quotes—“‘numerous’ calls.”
Chase bolted up from the couch as if his ass was on fire. Adam handed him the phone, then walked around him to sit in the spot he’d just vacated. Xavier checked to make sure Chase was far enough out of earshot, then he leaned his head down close to Adam’s. “Tell me about this James guy.”
Adam’s eyebrows winged up his forehead as he peered at Xavier. “He’s a friend of
Chase’s, and of Josh’s partner, Nick. James is the lawyer who helped take down Mitch Rollins Jr. He’s been missing for a while now, and frankly, I’m worried he might be dead.”
Adam mouthed the last word, and Xavier was glad because Chase paced back into the room www.total-e-bound.com
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with the phone pressed to his ear. Pain dulled his pretty eyes and drew his lips into a thin line. Whatever he was hearing, it wasn’t good.
“Mr Murphy, I have six messages to return your call as soon as possible—”
Chase grunted. So he’d been a pest. Well, fuck it. No one had found James yet and
someone needed to stay on the asses of the people who were supposed to be looking for him.
“And your threats to come up and tear my door off its hinges? Not the smartest thing to leave in a voicemail.” Shearing’s deep, rough voice remained emotionless, just as it had every time Chase spoke to the agent in charge of the entire Rollins investigation.
“I meant it figuratively.” He hadn’t, but he didn’t see any reason to admit that.
“Sure you did,” Shearing said in that same tone. “But I thought, regardless of your
constant haranguing, I would let you know we did find James Stratton alive—”
Chase’s gasp made his throat ache, or it might have been the relief that flooded him.
“When?” he scraped out.
Shearing hesitated for a moment, and when he spoke there was real emotion in his
voice. “You have to understand that I couldn’t say anything sooner, not until I had
permission to do so.”
Chase gritted his teeth. So the FBI had found James some time ago. Was it days or
weeks?
“You’re not related to him, either, so we weren’t obligated to tell you anything,”
Shearing pointed out. It was only his need to know where James was and how he was doing that kept Chase from screaming,
I don’t give a flying fuck about obligations and permission and
whatever bullshit excuse you have for not telling me sooner!
“Five days ago, James Stratton was found at what was thought to be an abandoned
mental health care facility. It wasn’t, though, not completely—abandoned, I mean,” Shearing clarified.
Chase’s skin chilled with a cold that soon sank into his bones. “There was a man there who’d been—” Shearing cursed softly, something that only added to Chase’s fear that
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something very, very bad had happened to James. “He’d been, from what we can tell,
keeping James alive, but just barely. And…and hurting him, not just physically, but, you know, really messing with his head. We found a mix of drugs in James’ blood, anti-psychotics as well as tranquilisers.”
Chase’s own blood ran cold. Drugs like that could scramble someone’s brains
permanently. And how exactly had he been hurting James physically? Chase’s stomach tried to crawl up his throat and empty out its contents. “Tell me that fucker is dead—or that he isn’t, so I can kill him myself.” Chase would do it in a heartbeat.
“He’s dead,” Shearing said, snuffing out Chase’s budding plans for revenge. “He
stabbed my boss, got me pretty bad, which is why I haven’t returned your six days’ worth of messages.” Shearing said this part in the same, unemotional voice, like it was
no big deal, I
almost died but, eh.
“Stephen Jones—that was his name—was dead shortly thereafter. A bullet was more effective than Jones’ knife.”
The man was dead, and Chase didn’t care about him beyond that. “Where is James
now?” He hated the cool tone to his voice, the emotionless quality of it, but if he wasn’t very careful, Chase was afraid he’d start sobbing like a baby. James, who’d never harmed another living soul, who’d saved Chase when no one else would—James Stratton was the man Chase looked up to, would have aspired to be if he wasn’t essentially a completely flawed and fucked up person.
Shearing kept talking, unaware of Chase’s inner turmoil. “James is somewhere safe
right now, receiving the help he needs, both physically and mentally.”
Chase thought that over while he paced through the living room. For some reason he
needed just a glimpse of Xavier Talbot’s solid presence. Something about the man soothed the wild, fearful part of Chase he struggled to hide. It was an odd reaction, but Chase needed it right now. Only once he felt calmer did he leave the living room.
“I want to see him,” Chase said, making it clear it wasn’t a request.
“I’m sorry, I really don’t know where he is exactly. Probably not in Montana, I would guess, since James’ parents have him somewhere where he is getting the best available care.”
“They would,” Chase mumbled, and he could damn sure Google likely places with that
tiny nugget of information. If he could just call James’ parents—but no, they wouldn’t piss on www.total-e-bound.com
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him if he was on fire. They surely blamed Chase for this, which he understood because he blamed himself too. James might have got the ball rolling, but it’d been Chase’s plan to nail Mitch Rollins Jr’s ass to the wall with proof of his assaults that couldn’t be refuted or ignored.
If Chase had found a subtler way, maybe James wouldn’t have paid the price for it.
Or Adam and Charlene. It didn’t matter that Rollins Sr had come after Chase, too; he could handle it. But the other three, they were all as close to innocent as anyone Chase had ever known. They weren’t made to handle life’s ugliest truths.
So maybe it was best that he remove himself from all of their lives, even James’. Chase had been alone before, in fact he preferred it. Having all these people hovering over him the past few weeks had nearly driven him bat-shit insane.
And he’d already brought too much trouble to too many lives, first with Rollins, then with his behaviour today. Now that he’d had time to cool his temper down, he was more than a little ashamed of how he’d acted towards Xavier and of the way he’d snarled at Adam.
Fuck, but he was a mess.
“Mr Murphy?”
Chase closed his eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. Everything was such a jumble, and he had the most damnable urge to go to Xavier and just curl up on the man’s lap and beg Xavier to hold him. That wasn’t like him at all.
It must be some weird side effect of all the bad shit
that’s happened lately. There’s only so much anyone can take before they crack, and I don’t think I’m
far from being in that place at all.
“Mr Murphy? Are you still there?”
Chase opened his eyes and immediately moved to where he could see Xavier talking to
Adam. Xavier’s long black hair reflected the light in the room in places, and the man just looked like a safe harbour to Chase. “Yes,” he muttered to Shearing, just as Xavier looked up and locked gazes with him. The turmoil clattering about in Chase’s mind calmed. It was eerie, the effect the man had on him.
“I am sorry I can’t tell you more, but Mr and Mrs Stratton are adamant that you not be anywhere near their son.”
“Fuck them,” Chase growled. Xavier frowned, his dark eyes narrowing as he tensed so
quickly Chase couldn’t help but notice it. The man looked like he was going to get up and www.total-e-bound.com
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stalk Chase. The very idea of that made Chase shiver and shift his gaze away, only to find Adam watching him closely.
“Please don’t do anything rash,” Shearing said. “I understand your frustration, but I give you my word, I’ll keep you updated and as soon as James is released—”
“Thank you,” Chase muttered, then he hung up while Shearing was still talking. Chase didn’t doubt Shearing knew where James was, he just wouldn’t tell Chase.
Adam stood and started walking towards him, sympathy in his eyes and voice when he
spoke. “Your physical therapy appointment is in twenty minutes. We need to go.”
Chase nodded, careful to keep from looking at Xavier. He wanted to, and therefore he wouldn’t. He’d go to the physical therapy appointment and get chewed up one side and down the other for fighting and probably making his shoulder injury worse. He’d sit through the lecture, do the stupid exercises and then he’d leave—the hospital, these people, this town.
Xavier thought about what he’d learned of Chase Murphy as he drove home. The man
was loyal to his friends, or his friend James, anyway, and despite having lost everything he owned, Chase still had more pride and confidence than most men Xavier knew who’d
suffered less. Still, he couldn’t imagine how Chase felt, stuck in this town with a bunch of people who were strangers trying to take care of him.
That Chase allowed it was surprising, although maybe it shouldn’t be since the man
likely had no other options. But Xavier would stake his club on the fact that Chase Murphy wasn’t the type to be coddled, much less accept help. It probably made Chase feel that those helping saw him as weak, damaged, something unacceptable to Chase.
A cruiser headed towards him when Xavier rounded a curve. He waved at Les as they
passed each other and made a mental note to thank him for the invite to his house, even if it had been to visit with Adam. It was something Xavier hadn’t got to do much of but that was fine. What had happened was much, much better.
Chase Murphy drew Xavier like no other man had before, and whether it was empty
