A Breath Until Forever (11 page)

“Wants the best of the best, you know him, always did.” The waitress said as she walked back up towards the kitchen in order to retrieve a lunch that was ready for one of the customers. “That's why he left. Thunder Valley wasn't good enough for him. Didn't provide enough opportunity to make lots of money.”

“She sure has long hair, like Cher. One of those free spirited hippies who are into all peace and love.” Commented the bagel eating woman. “No wonder she is a married woman looking for a good time in a single man!”

“A man who is widowed!” The pudgy woman piped up.

Laughter was brought into the cafe as many made fun of her, and none stuck up for her a stranger in a strange town, mocking her more of an adulteress with the Crimson A, although she had done nothing wrong. All she was guilty of was having some confusing feelings for a young rancher, who was as handsome as he was nice, and that wasn't a bad thing. That was being human.

Meredith grabbed her lunch and coffee and left the criticizing eyes on her as she quickly fled out the door. She couldn't believe that all of these townspeople had said these things, engaged in such conversation, with her right in the cafe. It was as if she had been invisible, not even there, a ghost. She should have ran out sooner, but it was as if she was paralyzed, too emotionally crippled to move, as she was in a state of shock, and couldn't believe that these people, who didn't know her at all, had been so rude. As she fled, she didn't bother to look back. Not once. She made a big mistake for ever going into this town – a town full of martyrs. Thunder Valley sure was a beautiful little town, but it sure had a lot of ugly hearted people. Then Meredith thought of something. Something that could manifest awful implications if moved forward. If someone saw Joshua by the old bridge, watching her paint, watching her involve herself in her work, word would hit the cafe by next day, spreading gossip quicker faster than wildfire, and that would really leave Meredith in a bad place. She couldn't have the town against her, or against Joshua. She wondered why she really cared, but then she knew why. She couldn't paint if she knew everyone hated her. They seemed to hate her now, with nothing going on, just observations looking in, what would happen if they saw her actually with him? In a discreet place? In a place where anything could happen? She wouldn't be able to pick up a paintbrush, rather she would be more worried than she was now, and she wouldn't get anything done, which meant a very unsatisfied customer. And she couldn't let Mr. Cambria down. She had special plans with the money she was going to get from him, and she couldn't let that dream die on rumors in a small town.

She learned to never underestimate the flash of trivial news in small towns.  Incidental news that wouldn't cause a collision in consciousness usually, except for the fact that Joshua was seen with a long haired older woman who was married with a husband and a child at home. All up to now, it had all been innocent, but it was juicy enough that people could talk about it for hours, foregoing the fact that Joshua was still heartbroken over Adrienne and would never submit himself to another woman, let alone an older married woman, right? So many people in town had tried to set Joshua up with their neighbors, their friends, their daughters, but Joshua was jut not interested. His heart was committed to Adrienne, and to the commitment that he would never fall for another woman in his whole entire life. If only everyone knew that Joshua, secretly, was starting to fail on this commitment, as he had taken a big liking to Meredith, although it was something he didn't want to completely admit to himself yet. And this news, news that Joshua was actually hanging out with someone, created a carnal yearning of verbal activity, and gave them a high that caused a ripple in the fare of gossip, allowing communication to be passed on from person to person, ending up with all of the same curious question –
Who exactly was Meredith Hurley and what did she want with Joshua Aspen?

Meredith finished her lunch quickly, feeling the stares even peer through the window of the cafe as she at outside on the patio. It was as if she had instantly become a celebrity, but of the worst kind, and it made her feel nauseous. She wanted to throw up.

She went to a public phone out by an antique shop that neighbored Laura's cafe.  Meredith dialed Joshua's number. She had it mesmerized now and the slipping of her fingers through the rotary dial operated quickly. Joshua answered on the fourth ring, hearing it from outside as he was changing the oil in his pick up truck. Breathless, he had rushed to the phone hoping that it had been Meredith. As he answered, he wiped filthy oil from off his fingers, and onto a rag, dirtying it. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Joshua, it's me, Meredith.”

His stomach tightened the instant her heard her voice. She had the voice of an angel, even through the static of a pay phone.

But then his stomach suddenly dropped. She was probably calling to cancel saying she couldn't make it, having second thoughts about coming over.

“Joshua, I don’t know how to ask you this, so I'll come right out. Is it a problem for you to come out with me tonight?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I was just at a cafe, and well, everyone was staring at me and,”

“Don't mind them,” Interrupted Josh. He reached into his refrigerator to take out a beer. “Just feeble small town minds who don’t have anything else to do then gossip about pretty young woman.”

Pretty, well, Meredith could possibly understand that, but young? She was 40 years old, she was far from young. Joshua was so sweet. Meredith continued. Her concern deepened. “Well it was more than that, they were saying things”

Joshua grew agitated. He loved everyone in town, but when they talked, they talked, and he never seemed to mind it much until now, when they were talking about him. “What things.” Asked Joshua.

Meredith took a deep breath. Joshua took a sip of his beer. “About me being married and stuff.  How would they know even know?”

“Oh, Christ.” Joshua was pissed off now, and reasonably so. “Are you serious? They are talking about that shit?”

“Yeah.” Answered Meredith.

Joshua took another sip of his beer, this time taking a really big sip, sucking down nearly half the liquid that was in the bottle. “Probably the guy you are working for, Mr. Cambria, that guy left quite a legacy, when he moved out of town, leaving his wife and two young kids behind to pursue the American dream. Not many people like him, and they are probably taking it all out on you.”

“They know I'm married, and well, you do too, and you know I'm not asking anything of you right? I'm not sleeping with you or anything. So, you need to get that out of your head.”

Joshua had to laugh. Another suck down session, and his ice cold beer was gone. He instantly got a buzz. “I'm not asking anything except for your friendship, Misses Meredith Hurley.”

It seemed strange Joshua calling her by her full name.

“Their curiosities really made me think though.” Meredith said.“And they don’t seem to want you to be around anyone.”

“It's my life.” He said. Still on the phone, he laid the receiver on his shoulder, making his hands free, so he may feed the dog. The spiral thick cord wrapped around his waist as he did. “I could care less what they think. I'll stop by later, I have a few things to do still here but I will, I don't see anything wrong with inviting you over for dinner. It's just dinner right? So don’t let them bother you, I’ll deal with them later.  I'd really love to have you come over, it's been awhile myself, and some good conversation and a bit of Shakespeare will make me a better man.”

Joshua had been thinking about Meredith all night, but more so that it had been refreshing to be hanging out with a woman who wanted to talk more then the different kinds of beer and race cars, like the woman he had met at the local bar all had done. To find a woman who not only liked Shakespeare, but liked to recite it, was a woman he certainly wanted to get to know better, even with knowing that as far as he could get with her was holding her hand.

Joshua finished feeding his dog. There was a brief, uncomfortable hesitation on the line that lasted seconds, but felt like hours. Joshua broke the silence.

“I'd really like to see you work. You know, I’ve never seen a painter paint before. I like going to the Sunset Gallery and look at them pictures. I’m not worried about gossip.“ Truth was, Joshua was in fact a little worried, but Meredith was worth the risk. Dangerous to his business as local butcher bought his cattle and farmers rented his land he may be shunned which wouldn't bring revenue to his ranch. Whatever price he had to pay, he was going to pay it. It had been a long time since he had come across since and not since Adrienne had he felt a connection.

“Great, Just thought I’d ask and make sure. I don’t want any darkness in between us.

“There is none, don’t you worry.”

“I'll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

Later on, she stopped by her motel and took a shower, put on a clean blousy shirt, no bra, and tossed a shirt along with a pair of curve hugging jeans and comfortable sandals that leather ringed toes. She'd picked up in Indonesia in the year 1961 while vacationing with Benjamin in Jakarta which offered the beautiful luxury of the 1,000 islands which had the warming bronzes of golden sand and the view of a never ending blue sky. Jakarta made for a great holiday, and it was where Benjamin and Meredith connected, briefly, feeling the soul of Indonesia ghost through them to haunt a spirit that was full of fire and they had made love in a discreet location that lasted for hours. It was the first, and last time that Meredith had ever felt a connection with Benjamin and she left that connection in Indonesia to naturally wither and fade away.

At a small local liquor shop, she bought a bottle of Merlot, as this was her most favorite wine in the world and always brought with it the great company of thirst. She arranged the bottle on the seat next to her carefully, so that it would not bounce enough to break. That's all she needed was a broken glass of a wine that she loved. She was having too good of a day to have something so bad happen. She wondered if Joshua would like Merlot, as she had only seen him drink whiskey. She then wondered if Joshua was cultured enough to even try it, as he had come across to her as a rough and tumble country boy whose idea of a good time was to wrestle up punches at a local watering hole.

It was really hot now, as the late afternoon sun in pure blood red accumulated itself on top of it's earlier damage, which had since been absorbed by leafy trees and the greedy earth. The sun blistered the earth with boils of heat waves that sent Meredith sweating. Even with the top down, the slight breeze that was born out of riding in her Jeep, the sun still had a sweltering affect that made Meredith perspire personal monsoons. She wondered how long her blouse would last in the heat, and she hoped that sweat wouldn't accumulate beneath her arm pits and in the cleavage of her chest. That wouldn't look pretty, so she stepped on the gas pedal more, laying a heavy foot to speed her up so that she could catch heavy breezes that would cool her off like a natural air conditioner.

As she drove, she thought back to the liquor store where she had purchased her wine, and how horribly she had been treated. The liquor store had been damp and dark, and mimicked a cave, more then a place to buy spirits. Once she stepped inside, it had even a more eerie feeling, being that the air was cool, yet clammy.  The front door had been pushed open and held there with a brick, and a big unsteady fan whirred on the ceiling ready to sever any head that would walk underneath it. An old hunched over and bitter man in the corner looking for whiskey was smoking a very stale cigar. The cigar however couldn't quite completely cover up the aroma of the pungency of wine after its been soured in a dungeon.  All the elements of the noise of the fan and the smell of stale wine and old smoky cigar smoke mixed with the blare of a very poorly radio state and the antagonistic face of the owner staring at her when she had purchased the wine, made the sun appear even hotter then it really was. She hadn't felt welcomed in the town, and knew that she better get used to it if she were too survive painting. She had already taken half down from Mr. Cambria, and she would collect the other half  when she had finished and physically gave the paintings that Mr. Cambria wanted to him. Even though Benjamin and her did okay, especially with his booming law business, Meredith had something special planned for her money. She wanted to buy Daniel a car. It would be a surprise to both Benjamin and Daniel to wake up and find a shiny brand new car sitting in the driveway, however Daniel had really turned his life around in military school, and deserved it.