A Breath Until Forever (4 page)

With the remaining money she bought more canvases and paint from a small art shop on Fifth Avenue. She began to drift away from painting when she had moved to New York, but this new purchase of art supplies, started the fire for Meredith to start painting the beauty of the big city. When people didn't see the beauty in a sea of steel, Meredith, on the other hand, saw the gorgeousness rise like a phoenix from out of the clutter chaos of concrete, and the graceful bloom of the hardened unrefined of the people who lived and worked there. A prominent New Yorker bought a painting that would highlight a fictional story written by a pretty well up there affluent writer who lived in Manhattan. It was a small break but big enough of one that addressed some well deserve flattery to grab some attention of the wealthier people in New York.  She talked to one such guy and acquired an assignment to paint a family portrait of him and his wife and their family dog. His wife wasn't a very pretty woman, but through her brush strokes and her talent for making the ugly turn into the beautiful, she grew from a swan into a queen. The dog, a Chinese Chow dog with exceptional breeding genetics named Bon Bon had not sat still for once, but Meredith had managed to include the family dog in the picture as if it were frozen stiff and dead.  She executed the painting so professionally and so perfectly that he told his other friends about her at dinner parties and she started to acquire work to paint family portraits, portraits of their houses, and portraits of their beloved pets. And at a good price. Before Meredith knew it, she could do more than buy art supplies, but every once in awhile she earned enough money to go on small little shopping sprees to buy herself some cute little dresses and cute little shoes.

The peace corp had asked her to come back, since she had done such a good job diplomatic in 1952.  She went to South America this time and she made her way up dirty hillsides and poorly built wooden shacks with satchels hanging from her shoulders, and sadly wondering why she had accepted such an offer now that she had climbed her way up to painting the affluent in the wealthy New York City sea of connections. But Meredith had a good heart, and couldn't say no to something much bigger than herself and so she had made the very spontaneous decision to put away her paintbrushes, and help humanity in the most unselfish way possible. And that was to give all of herself for a verbal contract of two more years of emotionally hard, gut wrenching work that would surely kill her eventually. One evening, she had looked up at the stars. The sky was dotted with the dancing queens of night, and the sky enveloped all around her as if giving Meredith an unconditional loving embrace. She wanted to paint the stars. They looked very beautiful, more beautiful than she had ever seen in the city. In the city it was a very rare treat to even see a glitch of stars, but here,..but here...WOW! Meredith could see stars for miles and miles as if she was an astronaut and was flying through the mysteries of space. But what could she paint with even if she had wanted to? She had left her paintbrushes behind in New York City, giving them to a starving artist who was out on the street with some of his canvases, a tin can by them for whatever donations he could collect. That morning, she decided to take the dangerous journey into the closest city, Iquitos in Peru and with the very little money she had, buy some paintbrushes and paint. She bought what she could, supplies were scarce and very limited, but she managed to buy just enough so that she may paint. But before she could paint the stars, that day, she knew she had to capture something much more important than that. And that was the children of Cusco. She saw terror on their faces, the hunger in their bellies, and she could feel what she saw within herself. She knew that a picture could change the way that others felt, especially those wealthy people she used to paint. And so she started to paint the horror of humanity, especially the young darkened children whose eyes told of the thousand stories of infliction. Her paintings were quickly recognized and the faces of desperation, pleas of help, were soon within art galleries in the West. The matter of survival was harsh here, not just the physical labor and the domestic duties, but the spiritual matters as well. But then they wanted more pictures to be painted, more harshness of the real world to be captured, but Meredith couldn't do it anymore. She just couldn't. She also wasn't getting paid much, rather she was just giving them away. How can one collect money on the cruelties of humankind?

She decided she couldn't take it anymore, and too much poverty had taken a toll on her. Her health wasn't good anymore, and her bank account was low. She decided to quit the Peace Corps once and for all, and was ready for a new adventure, back in the United States, the independent states that she had missed so very much. She went straight for California, for reasons she couldn't explain except that California offered a blue sky and a pretty ocean. She did odd jobs. She rented a small shack on the water, and surfed in Monterey Bay. She made love with a lifeguard named Bodhi who had perfect glowing skin and golden ringlet hair. She then traveled through the West Coast, along the beachy shores of the Pacific, and really liked it there, and stopped at a few areas, for a month, maybe even a week, and then finally made her way up through Oregon and into Seattle, where it remained her home for many more years to come. She didn't know why her internal compass kept pointing her north, but it did, perhaps it was instinct,and it wasn't until she discovered Seattle like the true gem that it was, did she understand why Destiny had pointed her in that direction. It was in Seattle that she felt the most comfortable, even though it was the most dreary, unpredictable, big city that she had ever lived in. New York City was even better than Seattle. However Seattle had something special about it, something rather unique and grandly constructed, that made her feel that this was the place that she was to grow up in, and make herself into a real woman.

Now at the middle age of forty, Meredith wanted new adventures. She was swiftly approaching the second half of her life now, and she thought it was time that she rekindle all the romance for life that she once had once upon a time, long, long ago. Places that would take her to spiritual ecstasy. Places that gave her new liberated freedom. She had been to most places in the United States, and was in awe that she was actually there, sitting, painting, riding, rocking, making love in, but all of the past was gone now and now she wanted what she had when she was in her early 20's, when life seemed more alive and new. She wanted to go somewhere now that would make her fresh, and youthful. Young.

Cutting over to US Route 62, she rambled through the paradoxical roads early Saturday morning July 28, 1971, and took a very steep swing and headed for a rambling county and the valleys that were to be there waiting for her to capture her breath and take it away. She wondered if she was going to be all right for art supplies, as Mr. Cambria, the robust and eclectic man who commissioned her, wanted a total of ten grandiose paintings in which he specifically gave her directions to go see. Ten was the most she had ever done at one time for one client, and this was going to be a challenge among all challenges in her painting career. She had made it through the United States. Traveling from the West Coast, all the way to the Southeast, and was quite proud that her music, her random watching of a TV show in cheap motels, and her thoughts about Daniel, had kept her preoccupied enough to make it this far. It had been a long road trip, oftentimes lonely and abandoned, but she was a tough Cougar who could travel a million more miles if she had to. 

It was a very hot day. Too hot. Meredith unbuttoned her shirt further, until it reached the top of her belly button. Through the wind, the shirt exposed little to the imagination, and showed off a pair of bra less breasts, but Meredith didn't care, as there was neither hide or hair of any signs of life for miles and miles around. Her last day wearing a bra was the first day that she had left. After that, she took it off, and felt the freedom of not wearing a bra, and allowing her breasts to breathe, as free as the wind that embraced her while she drove her jeep, top down. Her Jeep was feeling the pressures of the heat, and some steam began to easily envelope the hood, bouncing clumsily as she continued to drive on the gravelly road that seemed to lead to nowhere, except to more road.

Meredith quickly discovered that even though she drove a four wheel drive, sometimes it just wasn't tough enough, for even the toughest of roads. This road was proving to be, one of those roads. Gravel seem to increase in size, and large rocks were now appearing, and the road became more of a challenge, than a road, and dirt craters appeared in their path like little devils taunting her. She plowed the Jeep into a swift second gear, and decreased her speed in half, so that she may drive down the road without damaging her truck. It was too late. A big rock seemed to appear out of nowhere, and she severed to her right, almost losing control of her Jeep. The Jeep tipped, but not over, but she lost balance and ran into a very rusty mailbox. The mailbox read, “Aspen, RR 34” She slammed her truck into gear, and turned off her truck engine. Smoke from the hood was now pouring out like a pressure cooker, and her windshield was cracked with a thin line that looked more like a lightening bolt, then damaged glass.

From out of the yard, a young man in his middle 20's came running out towards her. He had a strong, thick southern accent that was as burly as his looks . “Hey, you okay?” A little shaken up, but not stirred, Meredith calmly answered. “Yeah, I'm fine.”

Meredith was embarrassed. Her driving skills had never let her down before, but now it had, when she least expected it. And here she was, with a cracked windshield, a dent in her bumper, a damaged his mailbox, and injured pride.

“Hey, I'm really sorry about your mailbox.” Meredith apologized. Her apology was sincere, and there was a genuine undertone in her voice.

From the impact, the mailbox was down on the ground, dented and crushed, letters scattered everywhere on the North Carolinian dirt ground.

“Don't worry about it.” The man kindly said. He had sympathy for her, as he had run into his mailbox a million times before, however, he had not cracked the windshield as she had when he had done it. She must be a tornado behind the wheels, he thought silently to himself. 'Woman drivers' He rolled up his eyes and automatically thought of the chauvinistic ideas that men have against woman who purge themselves behind the wheels of a 2 ton death trap.

“As long as you are alright.” The man continued sincerely. 

The man came up to Meredith, opened up the door, then offered his hand. “Here.”

Meredith followed his lead, and got out of the truck. She felt a small headache coming on. Is this what whiplash felt like? Her neck hurt too.

She stepped away from the truck, and took a good look at the man. He was a lot younger than her, at least by ten years, with dirty brown hair, wearing an old shirt and jeans. He had a slender build, but was rock solid, and he was taller by her by a good nine inches at around five foot nine.

He was pretty cute, and probably even cuter once all washed up, and immediately she felt an attraction to him. She felt suddenly anxious, and her palms began to sweat and her heart raced. Her mouth became dry, and she tensed up. She felt dizzy and lightheaded. She felt like she was going to faint. A color instantly stained her skin. Noticing her physical change and that she looked like she wasn't doing well, the stranger asked, “Are you sure your okay Miss?”

Meredith shook it off. “Yeah, yeah..I'm good. Don't worry about me.” She flashed him a quick smile, embarrassed for even reacting the way that she even did.

“Doesn't look like your truck isn't as good.” Said the man, his eyebrows raised making an examining the Jeep

“Yeah, it doesn't, does it?”

The man leaned over, and picked up the mail that was laying on the ground. He went through them and glanced quickly. “Just bills.” He said. “You can run t hem down any day.” He gave Meredith a quick smile. His blue eyes lit up and sparked. For a moment they exchanged glances and they seemed to temporarily lose themselves in a moment of time. The stranger broke the spell.

“There's a garage up in  I can give you a ride.” He said.

“That would be lovely.” Said Meredith.

“How rude of me.” Said the stranger. “Names Joshua. Joshua Aspen.”

“Nice to meet you.” Welcomed Meredith, giving a little nod as she did. She couldn't help but think how hunky this guy was. He was young, sure, but he sure was still all man, with golden blonde hair, blue eyes, and tanned leather skin. He had the square face of one of the models that she had seen in those fancy city magazines showing off the latest fashions, and he had a body that was fit and trim; athletic and cascading of muscles. Meredith gushed when she saw him, feeling a tingly sensation run throughout her body. 

“How rude of me to run down your mailbox.” Meredith said.

Joshua found humor in such a simple joke. He liked this woman, and he didn't even know her. In fact he liked her a lot.  And he hadn't even known her more then 30 seconds of his life.