A Bridge of Her Own (13 page)

“Would you like some toast with jam?” her mother asked.

“Yes, please,” Jane said.

She sat with her mother as she enjoyed her toast and coffee.

“Plans for the day?” Mrs. Martin asked.

“Maybe go to the pool.
Wanna come?” Jane replied.

Her mother looked thrilled for the invite and accepted. Her father was out playing golf with some of his buddies, so her mom was happy to get out of the house. They changed, grabbed their pool stuff, and left. After getting bored with her book, Jane turned to regard her mother. She was in her early fifties and had aged well. She seemed to still love Jane’s dad. She would catch him patting her butt or winking at her from time to time so she assumed he was still happy with her. They had been married for almost thirty years. How do you find that, she wondered?

Her mother, feeling Jane’s gaze, said “Everything okay, Jane?”

Feeling tears threatening, Jane nodded briskly and got up to compose herself in the ladies’ room. She splashed cool water on her face and rubbed her neck, stretching it from side to side. Jane returned to the pool deck, and wanting to cool off, dove into the pool.

She swam under water, seeing how far she could go without taking a breath. She got about halfway before surfacing. She wiped her eyes as she deeply inhaled and exhaled until she was breathing normally again. She waded over to the edge and returned to her lounge.

“Just cooling off,” she said to her mother.

She lay back down and returned to her book. An hour later, her mother complaining of the heat, suggested they leave. Jane got up, gathered her things, and quietly followed her mother home. Feeling drained, she laid down, after changing, in the living room. Her mother came to sit with her and brought her some iced tea. She dozed as her mother watched a show about gardening. Her father found them like that when he returned from his golf outing.

“Great news, Janey,” he boomed from the doorway, startling her. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were asleep. Scoot over,” he said, patting her leg.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes “Hey dad. What’s up?”

“I ran into Mark Hamilton at the golf course,” he said happily.

He did this all the time. He would start a conversation in a way that made absolutely no sense to her. She did not know who Mark Hamilton was or how her dad knew him so she shrugged in response.

He then looked expectedly at Mrs. Martin. “Remember Mark Hamilton, dear?”

She frowned and furrowed her brows, trying to place him.

Exasperated, he went on “We were in the same fraternity at school."

“Oh, Mark Hamilton." her mother said, smiling.

“
Yes, and his assistant is retiring. He has not hired her replacement,” he said, beaming to Jane.

“Really?”
Jane said, putting one and one together.

“Yep, if you are interested.
It does not start for another month or so, but I’m pretty sure it pays more than the temp place, and you would get benefits and a 401K."

This was great news. Jane jumped up to give him a hug. She still had not heard back from the temp place by that Monday, so she tried to do something she had not done in a long time: draw. She first went to have her fake
nails removed. Her own nails were thin and weak, but she had the nail tech coat them with some clear nail strengthening polish and made a mental note to pick some up as well.

At a traffic signal on the way back to her parents’ house, with the palms of her hand on the wheel, she unfolded her fingers and just looked at her nails. She thought how they were not unlike herself. Thin and weak, she mused, but maybe not forever.

Chapter 18

At home, she pulled out her sketch pad and pastels from a box in her room. She went to a local park, and sitting on a bench, looked around to see if there was anything interesting to draw. There was an older man fishing not far from her so she began with him. Her first attempt was laughable. Thankfully, he mainly sat still so turning the page in her book she began again. Her second try was not much better. She tried to think why she was having such a problem with this. All at once, it came to her. In the past, when she drew, she would almost turn her brain off. Right now, though, she felt her thoughts drifting again and to Wyatt.

It made her feel ashamed. He clearly did not want her. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about him? It was almost like a compulsion. There were things that would trigger memories as well, like seeing a couple or seeing something in the news about his father. What she would never admit aloud to anyone including Lacey was a fear that no one else would love her.

Wyatt had been her first real boyfriend. She had imagined they would spend the rest of their lives together. The unchartered territory she currently found herself in was her own personal den of shame. Feeling tears threatening, she flipped her pad closed and hurried home. She retreated to her room and shut the door. Lying on her bed with her blankets pulled up to her nose, she quietly cried.

Her mother knocked on her door after hearing her cry from the hallway.

“Jane, why are you crying?” she said, coming to sit by her and stroking her hair.

Jane just shook her head and buried her face into her pillow.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she continued.

Jane once again shook her head so her mother gave up and left her alone.

She felt as though no one could understand what she was feeling, like maybe she hurt more because she loved more. She pictured Wyatt’s new girlfriend and could not help but feel inferior in comparison. Blythe was so pretty and stylish. Jane ached inwardly thinking of how Wyatt probably thought the same thing. She also imagined his parents fawning over her and thanking their lucky stars that Wyatt had dumped her.

When her father got home from work and after clearly talking to her mother, he came in to check on her.

“How we doing, Janey?” he asked, standing at the end of her bed.

She sat up and shrugged her shoulders at him.

“Is this to do with that Wyatt boy?” he asked.

She glumly nodded her head and then wiped her eyes.

“I say good riddance,” he said gruffly, surprising her. “Look, I know you cared about that boy a great deal but I just need you to know that, in my personal opinion, he was not worth your time”

Jane’s mouth dropped open.

Every girl wanted Wyatt. How could her father not see how wonderful he was? Maybe because he was her father he was supposed to say stuff like that.

“You know, maybe you would have a new boyfriend if you got out of bed,” he went on.

Jane covered her face with a pillow and groaned.

Seeing that his pep talk was not having its intended result, he came over and kissed her on the top of her head and, leaving the room, said, “Make sure you eat some dinner, honey."

She got up and came to the table for dinner. Her mother had made spaghetti with meat sauce. Jane ate some and then just picked at it. Her mother offered her some garlic bread, but she shook her head and drank some milk instead.

Her father, perking up, said “Hey, your mother told me about this retail therapy thing. You want some cash to go shopping? Maybe buy some new outfits for your new job?”

Her parents both looked at her with huge smiles like they really thought a trip to the mall would help her get over Wyatt. When she shook her head no, her mother placed her hand to her chest and shot Mr. Martin a look of shock. Clearly, this was more serious than Mrs. Martin had thought. After dinner, Jane excused herself and went back to lie in her room. She still had not heard from the temp agency, so she was beginning to think she would be stuck here all day everyday for the next month. She cried herself to sleep. Sometime around ten the next morning she awoke to Lacey opening her blinds.

“Rise and shine beautiful,” she chirped, pulling Jane’s blanket from her. “I am only in town for two more weeks, and I'll be damned if you spend them in your room,” Lacey said, smacking her on the ass. “Get your butt into the shower. Your dad gave me his credit card and said I could get some stuff too. So whether you like it or not, we are going shopping."

“Leave me alone,” Jane grumbled trying to cover herself with her sheet.

“No way. I can’t shop unless you do too,” Lacey returned.

Seeing that resistance was futile, Jane got up and showered. She dressed in a T shirt,
capris, and flip flops. Lacey drove them to a popular outdoor-style mall.

“Your parents are pretty worried about you, babe, and from what they told me, I’m with them. What set you off?” Lacey asked as they parked.

Not wanting to start crying again, Jane took a couple of deep breaths and said, “I can’t stop thinking about him. Yesterday, I tried to go out and sketch something, and I couldn’t even focus on anything else."

“Time heals all wounds,” Lacey said solemnly.
“And shopping helps." She winked at her, and they got out

Walking into the mall, they passed by a hair salon. Jane stopped and looked at herself in the glass and toyed with her ponytail.

“Oh my God, you should totally cut your hair.” Lacey gushed.

Jane just shook her head and kept walking forward. They went into a popular clothing store with the goal of getting Jane some stuff for her new job. She camped out in a dressing room while Lacey and an employee of the store fed her a seemingly endless supply of possible outfits. She flat out refused any skirts or dresses. She had enough of those and just wanted to wear pants for a while. She found three pairs of pants that she really liked and a couple of cardigans and suit jackets. She made sure the jackets she picked out would match the pants. Next, Lacey led her to a shoe store. Lacey tried on the most ridiculous heels Jane had ever seen.

"I will never understand you and heels," Jane laughed.

"That's because you're not vertically challenged, babe" she retorted.

Jane had plenty of shoes already that would work with the stuff she bought. Lacey decided against the shoes, saying that if there was nothing else she liked better anywhere else she would get them on her way out. They paused shopping and ate some lunch. Lacey was pleased to see Jane eat her whole sandwich and finish a chocolate milkshake. After lunch, they headed to another clothing store, this time on the hunt for shirts that would go with the stuff Jane had already gotten.

She found a couple of simple short sleeved sweaters and picked out three different colors. There must be something to that whole retail therapy concept. The further into the day they got, the better she was feeling. It helped that Lacey was in full-blown cheer up mode. She wondered what she would do when Lacey moved to New York. Pushing that thought from her mind, she did her best to try and cheer up.

While they were standing at the register as Lacey was paying for the shoes they saw earlier, Jane said, “I want to get my hair cut."

Lacey looked at her shocked and then grinning said, “Let’s do this."

Walking over to the salon, Lacey asked Jane how short she wanted to cut it.

“Short,” was all Jane said in
response.

As they waited, they flipped through style books. Jane finally settled on a cute layered bob. It was a big departure from her long brown hair. All she could think was Wyatt would have hated it, and that was reason enough to do it. Lacey gave her multiple opportunities to change her mind and for them to leave, but Jane was adamant.

Lacey tried her best not to hover as Jane’s haircut began. Jane closed her eyes and did her best to relax as her hair was being cut. She could almost psychologically feel the weight being lifted from her scalp. She also kept her eyes closed because she did not want to see all of her hair now on the floor. She peeked while the stylist was blow-drying her hair, but she was not pointed in the direction of a mirror, so she gave up and just closed her eyes again.

Once her hair was done and she was centered on the mirror, she opened her eyes. She hardly recognized herself. Her hair felt so soft and full of body. She shook her head, feeling her hair tickle her nose. She could not stop touching it and fluffing it. The cut was very flattering, framing her face. She turned to Lacey, who was clasping her hands to her chest, ready to jump up and down with excitement. Jane could not wait for her parents to see.

“Alright. Now let’s go get tattoos." Lacey joked.

Jane was feeling better than she had in a long time.

“Thank you for being there for me,” she told Lacey, suddenly serious.

“No worries. I got you, babe,” Lacey said, pulling out of the mall.

When they entered Jane’s house, her mother called out from the den.

“Come here. I want to see what you got." When Jane walked into the room, she cried. “What did you do to your hair?"

“Do you like it?” Jane asked, twirling.

“It’s just so short,” she said, getting up and coming to get a close look. “It’s very cute but such a surprise."

While Jane showed her mother the clothes she purchased, she would catch her staring at her now much shorter hair. Her mother loved what she had picked out and thought Lacey’s shoes were crazy but very Lacey.