A Catered Wedding (29 page)

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Authors: Isis Crawford

BOOK: A Catered Wedding
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Bernie did a double take. For a moment she almost didn't recognize the sisters. Their hair was brown flecked with gray. They were both wearing short sleeve polo shirts and khaki pants and sneakers. She realized why Clyde had lost them in the mall. With their hair a normal color they blended into the landscape—just two old ladies no one would give a second glance to.
And then she thought about what they were saying and realize Eunice was right. Ditas and Jura knew about Joe. Given the circumstances, they had to have.
“When I'm wrong, I'm wrong,” Eunice said to Bernie.
“It wasn't Vladimir after all,” Gertrude agreed.
Vladimir did a double take. “Me? What do I have to do with anything?”
“Eunice and Gertrude thought you murdered Leeza,” Bernie explained. “They were going to have you killed.”
“I never said any such thing,” Gertrude huffed.
“You intimated it,” Bernie told her.
“Me?” Vladimir pointed to his chest. “You were going to kill me?”
“You sound like a parrot,” Eunice snapped. “And we weren't going to have you killed,” Eunice said.
“No. We were going to do it ourselves,” Gertrude chimed in. “I've found over the years that it never pays to trust hired help with important tasks.”
Eunice nodded. “But don't worry about it,” she continued. “Now we have Joe in our sights.”
Bernie was amused to see that Joe took a step back.
“Are you threatening me?” Joe demanded.
“Oh dear me. Perish the thought,” Gertrude told him. “What could two little old ladies like us do?” She held up her hand. “Especially since I'm getting some arthritis in my trigger finger. Just a touch really. Isn't that right, Eunice?”
“Yes,” Eunice replied. “But it really hasn't seemed to affected your aim a whole lot.”
“No it hasn't, has it?” Gertrude said. She smiled complacently.
“You're nuts!” Joe cried.
“So we've been told,” Eunice agreed. And she walked over and looked at the arrow Bernie was holding. Then she went over to Joe. “You always were the greediest of the three,” she told him.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” he told her.
“Of course you do. To be honest,” Eunice continued, “I didn't like Leeza very much. She underwhelmed me. Her values were just as bad as yours are and if Eunice and I didn't know her mother, I wouldn't have cared what happened to her. But we did and Gertrude and I never shirk our responsibility.”
Gertrude gestured to the three brothers. “In my mind you're all guilty,” she told them. “ Joe, you killed her, and Jura and Ditas, you knew and did nothing about it which amounts to the same thing.”
“It doesn't matter what you think,” Joe said. “It matters what holds up in court. Right, Jura?”
Jura bit his lip.
“Right?” Joe repeated.
Bernie looked at Jura's face. “You cared for her, didn't you?” she blurted out.
“He didn't care for her,” Joe told Bernie. “Leeza was using him. All she wanted was his money.”
“That doesn't mean he didn't love her anyway,” Bernie said as she watched Jura walk over to the window.
“Lady,” Joe said, “you must be seeing something there that I don't. That's all I can say.”
Bernie was about to reply, when she heard something. Then she noticed that everyone was listening, so they must have heard it too.
“What is that racket?” Gertrude asked.
“It's the fire engines,” Libby cried as she and Marvin came bounding through the door.
“Fire engines?” Jura cried. “Is there a fire somewhere?”
“You mean there isn't?” Libby told him. Then she turned to Bernie and Rob. “Marvin suggested it. I'm sorry. It was the only thing we could think of to do when you guys didn't show up.”
Chapter 32
“S
ee the headline in the
New York Post?
” Libby said as she placed her father's breakfast tray on the table in front of his wheelchair.
Her dad put on his reading glasses and picked the paper off of the tray.
ONE ROTTEN EGG GIVES UP THE OTHER
.
He opened to the story and scanned it, while Bernie entered the room.
“I guess brotherly love doesn't trump everything,” Bernie said as she sat down on the foot of his bed.
Sean took a sip of his coffee. “My guess is the D.A. leaned on Jura and Ditas pretty hard.”
“Or more likely he told Jura that his brother was stealing from him,” Bernie said.
“From what you said about Jura that would do it,” Sean observed. He put the paper down and started eating his breakfast.
Libby watched as he bit into his scrambled eggs. “What do you think?” she asked.
He nodded. “Nice.”
“I added some curry powder. I thought it would make a pleasant change.”
“Very good,” her dad mumbled with his mouth full.
Libby leaned forward and planted her elbows on her knees. “So tell me,” she asked, “Why do you think Joe used one of his arrows to kill Leeza with when he could have used a dozen others and no one would have known.”
Sean swallowed and put his fork down.
“That was the whole point. He wanted Jura to know he had done it. From what the article says, he was furious at Jura for allowing this interloper to come into the business and spend tons of money on herself. Leeza was creating total havoc in the family. Sleeping with Ditas, stringing Jura along. The business was going to hell. Joe killed her to restore order and the fact that he used a signature arrow was to show everyone what he'd done and maybe . . .” Sean paused.
Libby leaned forward. “Maybe what?”
“Maybe . . . I'm just speculating here . . . but maybe he had another motive as well.”
“Which was?”
“Perhaps Leeza was blackmailing him. Perhaps she'd found out that he was selling caviar on the side and she was demanding her cut. Otherwise she'd go tell Jura.”
Libby nodded. Everything her dad said made sense to her, but there was something else that was bothering her. “Wasn't Joe afraid of the police? Wasn't he afraid that they'd catch on when they saw that arrow?”
Sean snorted. “You've seen what's in West Vale. One of the Raids says jump and the police there say: How high? No. I don't think he was one bit concerned. Anyway, none of the police hunted with the Raids. They didn't know that Joe fletched his own arrows. And the arrows were gone by the time they got there. Look how long it took for Bernie and you to make the connection between the falcons and the feathers on the arrows.”
“I should have figured it out sooner,” Bernie told her dad as Eunice, Gertrude, and Marvin entered the room. “They came to say hello,” Bernie explained.
“Actually we came to settle up,” Eunice said.
Gertrude nodded her agreement.
Libby was interested to see that they'd dyed their hair turquoise and were wearing matching Grateful Dead T-shirts and jeans. She was glad. Somehow she liked them better this way.
“We decided not to ask for our money back after all,” Gertrude told her father. “After all, you did solve the murder.”
“We would just like a strict accounting of your expenses.”
Sean put his fork down. “You know for a couple of communists you're awfully cheap.”
“The word is frugal and just because we believe in equality doesn't mean that we believe in waste. We believe that everyone should work according to their capacity. So when you send us your expense sheet we will reimburse you.”
“Here.” Eunice handed Libby a piece of paper. “I've written down our address so you can e-mail it to us.”
“But I thought you were going to Tanzania,” Libby said.
“We are,” Eunice replied. “Haven't you heard of the term global village?”
Sean took the piece of paper out of Libby's hand and put it on the tray.
“I have some questions,” he said.
“Like what?” Bernie asked.
“Like how come all of you were out at the hunting lodge in the first place. When I asked the first time everyone pretended they couldn't hear what I was saying.”
Libby looked at Bernie who looked at the sisters who looked at Marvin.
“Well,” Marvin stuttered when Eunice cut him off.
“This brave young man came to our rescue. Joe had invited Gertrude and me to the lodge for a good-bye party. Well, the more we thought about it the more nervous we became so when we were almost there we called Libby and Bernie to join us—which they did.”
“They didn't tell me that,” Sean said.
“Of course not,” Eunice replied. “I specifically told them not to. I didn't want to worry you. Plus, I must confess that I was angry that you were having us followed. I knew the girls would never do anything like that. However, the guard wouldn't let your daughters in and they had to resort to—let us say illegal means—to gain entry.
“Fortunately for all of us, they also asked Marvin to keep an eye on us on the principle that six eyes are better than four. He beat Bernie and Libby into the compound by climbing over the north wall.” Eunice turned to Marvin. “Isn't that right, dear?”
“Yes,” Marvin stammered.
Eunice nodded approvingly. “Then that clever boy found us in the compound and managed to keep an eye on us without anyone being the wiser. He would make an excellent spy. So when Joe and Ditas and Jura found us in the arms room, Marvin saw what was happening and did the only thing possible. He called the fire department. And that's the whole story.” Eunice went over and patted him on the shoulder. “He really is a hero, you know.”
Libby watched her father looking at Eunice. He was speechless.
Finally he managed to say, “Eunice, you expect me to believe that?”
“Yes, Sean. I do.”
“We're not liars,” Gertrude added. Then she turned to Libby and said. “Dear, would you mind going down and getting Eunice and me a pot of tea. Oolong would be nice. We're parched.”
As Libby departed she decided that her father looked as if he didn't know what to believe. She was measuring the tea into the pot when Gertrude appeared next to her.
“Marvin really is a very sweet boy, and it really was very brave of him to hide himself away in our trunk.”
“It was, wasn't it,” Libby agreed.
“No it wasn't. I was just being polite. Actually it was moronic, but that isn't the point I wish to make,” Gertrude continued. “It would be a shame if your father decided never to speak to him again because of some silly notion that he had endangered your lives.”
“He wouldn't do that.”
Gertrude snorted. “You know what he's like. He has many admirable qualities but you'll agree that he does have a nasty habit of holding a grudge and that his baby girls are the most precious thing in the world to him.”
Libby bit her nail. “Do you think Dad believed what you told him up there?”
Gertrude reached over and took a ginger muffin. “He's going to have to, isn't he?”
“I don't know,” Libby said.
“It has been my experience,” Gertrude said as she peeled the paper off the muffin's sides, “that if you repeat something enough it becomes true.”
“So why are you doing this?” Libby asked her. “You don't have to.”
“Your mother would have wanted me to. So I am. Even if the object of your affection is from the petite bourgeoisie.”
“You are a snob,” Libby said.
Gertrude grinned. “Indeed I am.”
Recipes
Grilled Marinated Quail
Six quail, split
 
For marinade
 
1/2 cup dry red wine
1/4 cup olive oil
3 or 4 juniper berries
a sprig of thyme
a sprig of parsley
2 bay leaves
1 crushed clove of garlic
a pinch of nutmeg
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
a dash of hot pepper sauce
 
Place quail in glass pan. Mix all ingredients together. Pour marinade over quail. Marinate for at lease two hours. Dry and grill over hot coals for 12–20 minutes, turning frequently. Serve on a bed of mixed greens with a dab of cranberry chutney. This marinade also works well on chicken.
The following two recipes are from a friend of mine, Linda Nielsen, who is an avid cook and collector of recipes and cookbooks.
Triple Citrus Cheesecake
Filling
 
4 (8 oz.) packages of softened cream cheese
1 cup sugar
2 tbsp flour
1 tsp vanilla
1 tbsp each fresh lemon, lime, and orange juice
1 tsp each grated lemon peel, lime peel, orange peel
4 eggs
 
Crust
 
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup melted butter
 
Mix together, press into the bottom of a 9” springform pan, and bake at 325°F for ten minutes.
 
Mix all ingredients for filling together until they are combined. Pour into crust. Bake at 325°F for 60–65 minutes until the center is set. Cool. Then remove rim from pan and refrigerate 4 hours or overnight. 12 servings
.
Frosted Pumpkin Bars
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp powdered ginger
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2 cups sugar
15 oz. can solid-packed pumpkin
 
Preheat oven to 350°F. Sift together all dry ingredients. Mix oil, eggs, sugar, and pumpkin. Add dry ingredients to wet and mix well. Pour the batter into an ungreased jelly roll pan (17x21x1) or a 9x13 cake pan. If using larger pan, bake 15–20 minutes, if using cake pan, bake 25–30 minutes. Cool in pan and frost with cream cheese frosting. Cut into 3x2-inch bars.
 
Cream Cheese Frosting
 
8 oz. softened cream cheese
1/2 cup softened butter
1 tsp vanilla
4 cups powdered sugar
 
Combine butter, cream cheese, and vanilla together, then add sugar, and mix until smooth.
My neighbor Sarah Saulson is both a gifted weaver and cook. This is her recipe.
Zucchini Stuffed with Herbed Goat Cheeses
4 oz. aged hard goat cheese
4 oz. soft goat cheese
2 egg whites
6 zucchini, 3–5 inches long
Bread crumbs
A solid handful of mixed fresh herbs, such as chives, parsley, oregano, rosemary, basil
 
Using grating attachment of food processor, grate hard goat cheese.
 
Switch to mixing attachment, add soft goat cheese, egg whites, herbs, salt and pepper. Process until smooth.
 
Slice stems off zucchini. Cut in half lengthwise. Use a spoon to remove seeds. Trim bottoms if necessary so each sits firmly on baking sheet. Fill zucchini with cheese mixture. Sprinkle lightly with bread crumbs. Place on a baking sheet sprayed with olive oil. Bake at 350°F for 30–40 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.
Sarah brought this recipe back from Baton Rouge. The stock makes the dish.
Shrimp and Corn Soup
2 lbs fresh shrimp in shells
1 cup fresh crabmeat
1 medium onion, diced
1 medium green pepper, cored and diced
2 stalks of celery, diced
2 large tomatoes, peeled and chopped coarsely
4 cups of fresh or frozen corn kernels
1/4 cup of scallions, diced
salt, black and hot red pepper to taste.
 
Peel shrimp, setting aside the shells.
 
Fill medium stock pot halfway with water, add salt to taste and bring to a boil. Add shrimp shells, one bay leaf and Tony Cachere's seasoning. Turn down to medium heat and simmer for one hour. Then strain stock and return to pot.
 
In a separate skillet, sauté celery, onions and green pepper in hot olive oil for about 3 minutes, then add to the stock, along with tomatoes and corn. Simmer for ten minutes, then add shrimp and crabmeat, season with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer another 5 minutes, then remove from heat. Serve in small soup bowls and sprinkle with diced scallions as garnish.
Roasted Potatoes, Chicken and Rosemary
3 boneless chicken breasts, cut into strips
20 little red potatoes, quartered
1 dozen cloves of garlic, peeled
juice of one lemon
1 tsp garlic powder
handful of fresh rosemary, plus more for garnish
salt, pepper
3/4 cup olive oil
Marinade:
 
Combine lemon juice, ½ cup olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder, lots of rosemary. Marinate chicken strips overnight.
 
Preheat oven to 350°F.
 
In a large roasting pan, lay chicken in one half. Pour marinade over them. Toss potatoes and garlic cloves with salt, pepper, olive oil, and rosemary in a separate bowl. Put in other half of pan.
 
Roast chicken for 45 minutes. Remove. Stir remaining liquid into potatoes. Continue to roast until done, another 30 minutes.
 
Garnish with more fresh rosemary. Serve at room temperature.

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