A Chance for Sunny Skies (13 page)

After work, I made my way to Rainy's shop. She had insisted. I sat back in my green chair and took in a deep breath. Was it just me or did the sun seem brighter streaming in through the tea shop windows? Did the air smell better? Work had definitely gone by faster after I had texted Rainy the good news and jogged back to the office.

It was pretty safe to say everything was better when you had a date.

"So what are you going to wear?" Rainy asked and Anna nodded, leaning forward and waiting for my reply. It was just the three of us at the tea shop that afternoon since Lizzy had a class.

I curled a piece of hair around my finger as I thought about what I had hanging in my closet at home. The more I thought and nixed items that were too big or too frumpy or too something, the tighter and tighter I wound my hair until I yelped in pain as it tugged on my scalp.

My eyes went wide with fear. "I don't have anything." I looked at the clock. Four o'clock. Holy shit! Two hours from pick up and I didn't have anything. "Not a thing!" I looked at them frantically, but Anna and Rainy just giggled. "What?" I asked.

"That's what every girl feels every time she goes on a date." Rainy patted me on the shoulder from where she sat next to me.

"Even married girls," Anna added, holding up her bling-ed out ring finger. She was the only one of us who was married, though Lizzy did have a pretty serious boyfriend.

"And," Rainy added, standing up, "don't worry. We've got you covered. That's why I asked you to come over; I figured you might need some help." She motioned for me to follow her. "Come with me." Anna scrunched up her shoulders and let out a little "eeee" sound. I was lost. I followed anyway, not knowing what to expect.

We clomped up the stairs to where Rainy lived on the second level of the house. I'd been up there just once since we met; we usually just hung out downstairs. The top floor was basically one big room, like a studio. Rainy's bed and a bathroom were pretty much it. She didn't even have a closet because it was an old house built in the time of wardrobes, but instead had hung a few clothes lines in one of the corners of her room.

I loved it. From her super colorful and unmade bed, to the sun and breeze flowing in through the French doors that led out to a small deck. Bright fabrics hung on the walls in stringed up pennants and a few larger pieces were acting as makeshift walls and doors.

Rainy walked over to an orange chair covered in clothes, gathered them up in her arms and dumped them onto her bed. Anna plopped herself down on the bed along with the clothes while I plopped into the chair.

"The first thing you need to know about date clothes is that you want to feel special." Rainy looked at me. "No one feels special in their everyday clothes. So if you can't afford to go out and buy a new outfit every time you have a date, you borrow from friends." She disappeared into the clothes hanging in the corner.

A knit top came flying out at me and I caught it with a laugh, but then my eyebrows knit together. I couldn't fit into Rainy's clothes. I was... chunky, curvy, big-boned. My face heated up and all of Ken's insults came crashing back. This was going to be completely awful. What if my fat ripped one of her shirts while I tried it on?

"Rainy, I..." I wrung my hands in my lap. "Thank you, but I don't think I'll fit into your stuff." I looked down, not feeling ready to see my friend's faces when they realized I was right.

Rainy popped her head out of the clothes curtain. "Trust me," she said, then she disappeared again.

I wanted to feel better, to trust her, but I really didn't want to be humiliated and I really didn't want to break her stuff. I shook my head. "No really, I've got a little money saved, I can go --"

"Sun." Rainy stood in front of me when I looked up. She held her hand out and I took it. She pulled me next to her and together we sidled up to the large mirror hanging on the wall by the clothes corner. "Look at us."

So I did.

My hair felt a bit big again, but Rainy had big hair too with all of her bandanas and fabrics and such twisted in. I looked down at our bodies. We were definitely built differently; while I had pretty wide shoulders, Rainy's were narrow. She did have bigger hips than I did, though, and... I looked closer... and we looked pretty similar now that I'd been doing yoga so much and losing weight.

I pressed my lips together, not wanting to be caught in a vain smile. Rainy slapped me on my shoulder and said, "Convinced?" I nodded. "Good," she said and disappeared again.

I sat back down and looked at the first top she'd thrown at me. Then another problem entered my mind. "Wait. We never decided where we're going. I told him we could figure it out when he came to pick me up. How do I know what to wear if I don't know where we're going?" I looked to Anna because Rainy was lost in the clothes.

Anna shrugged. "When we find the right outfit, you'll just know."

I leaned back, nodding. How did I never learn all of this? Oh, right. No friends, no dates, no life. I almost fell into another how-could-you-have-been-so-stupid session with myself, but I remembered that I was changing things now and everything would turn out okay. I mean, I wasn't too old; it wasn't too late for me to fix this.

Rainy let out a high pitch squeal from somewhere in the clothes corner and Anna and I jumped slightly. "Found it," Rainy sang as she emerged from the clothing. It was a dress. (Oh, boy. A dress.) It was beautiful. It looked old. Not like gross old, but vintage. Mostly cream colored, it had dark blue polka dots embroidered all over. The front had a section that buttoned up to the bust line, the sleeves were only slightly capped, and it had a small dark blue belt.

It was perfect.

I gulped. Now I had to fit myself into it.

Rainy handed it to me and motioned to the bathroom. My stomach wobbled and fluttered as I walked in and closed the door. I stripped off my work clothes and tried to figure this whole dress thing out. At that point in my life, I think I'd worn approximately three dresses (and I'm pretty sure they all fell in the before-I-was-five timeline and Nanny Marie had mostly forced me into them). This one had a belt, a tiny side zipper, buttons on the front, and a claspy thing in the back that really had me perplexed. I shrugged and undid them all.

Once I had it all opened up, I started slipping it on. First I tried going over my head. That's how you put on shirts, and this was really just a long shirt, right? Wrong. About a minute into the putting-it-over-my-head strategy, I got stuck. I think one of my arms actually made it through an arm hole, but the other one was somehow stuck behind my back. Crap. I flopped the top half of me over so I could use gravity to get the thing off. After a few minutes of flailing my arms and wiggling, the dress dropped off and onto the floor. Phew. I breathed in the fresh air and tried to settle my hair down a bit.

"Okay," I said aloud. "Not over the top." So up from the bottom it had to be.

"What'd you say?" Rainy called from the other room.

"Nothing! Just fine." I sighed as I situated the dress in front of me and stepped in, pulling it up over my hips, and then doing some pretty circus-y crap with my arms to get them through the holes. But I had it on. I smiled. Until I remembered all of the business I had to button and zip. I sighed and got to work. Buttoning, zipping, hooking, clasping, exhausting.

After a few minutes of wrongness, I gave up, opened the door, and pointed to the back. "Help," I said, my voice small and my face sweaty.

Rainy smiled, jogged over to me, did who-knows-what to the back, and patted me on the shoulder. "Done."

I turned to look at myself in the mirror. I pressed my lips together, tousled my hair a bit, and smiled. I looked damn good. The smiles on Anna and Rainy's faces made me feel amazing. Rainy had been right. I was excited to go out with Brian in this outfit because it was different, special.

"So that's decided," I said, thinking we were done and had some time now to wait.

My friends just chuckled and made their way to Rainy's accessory wall. There were earrings, hair scarfs, pins, and broaches. You name it, and they thought it should hitch a ride with me on my date. After they'd picked out enough stuff from the wall (and I put half of it back) they switched to the shoes.

"Red," is all Anna said.

Rainy nodded and disappeared into the clothing mess again. She came out with a pair of red flats. They were perfect. It all was. I had been asking myself the "why me?" question a lot. Why had the universe chosen me? In that moment, though, all I could focus on was the "I'm so lucky" warmth that spread up from my toes.

I shook my head. "This is -- How can I thank you?"

Rainy narrowed her eyes, dipped her head to the side, and looked closer to crying than I'd seen in the little-more-than-a-month that I'd known her. She pulled me into a hug and said, "You're worth it, Sun. That's what we've been trying to show you. Plus, you'd do the same for us."

I couldn't speak, being close to tears myself, so I just nodded and leaned into the hug. Anna jumped up and wrapped her arms around both of us. "Awe, you guys are so cute. Now we need to do your hair."

I checked myself in the mirror for about the three-hundred-thousandth time, swiped beads of sweat off my forehead, and wondered how time could move so quickly and then so slowly in the same day, in the same hour. At first, six seemed like it was careening toward me. However, once Rainy and Anna had finished helping me get ready, it felt like it couldn't get here fast enough. Now, at a quarter 'til, I needed more time.

Sure, the outside of me was ready, but my insides were a hot mess. What was I going to say to him? I had freaked the last time he and I were alone. And that had been for like two minutes. How was I going to hold it together for a whole hour... or more?

I was wearing clothing (a good start), cute clothing at that, but it all was for naught if I couldn't open my mouth and converse with the poor guy. That's when my heart started to race and I started to sweat even more. Perfect. Just what every guy loves to see when he picks up his date. "Oh, hello. You look sweaty and frantic. Let's go out to a nice restaurant." (Right.) Too much time meant too much thinking and thinking most definitely led to worrying.

So I called Rainbow.

"You ready, Freddy?" she answered.

"No. I need you to come with."

"Whaaaa? Are you crazy?"

"Dead serious, actually. I need you, Rainy. The only time things went well on the smoothie date was when you were there with me."

"Sunny..."

"Please."

"What am I going to do? Show up and invite myself in on your date?"

She had a point; that did sound pretty silly. "What if you're just there, so I can see you, but he can't. That way I know I could talk to you if it gets really bad."

"I don't know..."

"I'll pay for your meal and bring a paperback so no one bothers you."

She sighed. "I really think it's time --"

"You remember what happened last time you left us alone. I
will
ruin it all."

I could hear her breathing on the other end of the line. Breathing and thinking. Not wanting. "Where are you going?"

I jumped up and down. "Yeeeeee! Okay, I'm not sure yet, since we're deciding when he picks me up, but I'll text you once I know. Thanks, Rain. You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah," she said before hanging up.

I sighed, held the phone to my chest, and breathed. It would be okay. I still had a few minutes until he was supposed to pick me up, so I decided to be productive. I sat on my bed under my fan to cool off, made a list of places we could go to eat (per Anna's advice) so it looked like I had been thinking about our date, and then I looked up a list of date talking points on my computer (per my old counselor Tim's advice about being prepared).

The first one that came up said to ask about hobbies. I nodded. Sure. I could do that. "So what do you like to do in your spare time, Brian?" I practiced. Great. Next, it said to either elaborate on the hobby topic or ask about family. My jaw clenched instinctively the way it always did when I thought about family. My family. Blah. I didn't want to talk about them. A shiver ran down my spine that had nothing to do with the fan I sat under. My father was gone, my mother was -- difficult and absent and disappointed with me. That's not really something you want to bring up on a first date.

Okay. No asking about family. I could do that.

Next?

Talk about what makes your date laugh. This one was good. Seeing Brian smile more had become one of my life's missions. The way it traveled up to his eyes and made them slightly squinty. More shivers skittered down my spine, but those were the good kind. The last talking point the site had was asking what your date's favorite place was and why. I tipped my head to the side. That sounded interesting. I closed my eyes and tried to think of mine. There were waves, sky, my head tipped back watching the stars come out as the sun set. I ran my hands through my hair thoughtfully before I remembered Rainy and Anna had twisted it up into a "hair-do" for my date. My fingers got caught in the whole mess and I did an ouch-ouch-ouch-tip-toe to the mirror to see the damage.

Holy goodness. How had I done that? I extracted my fingers and got to work on fixing, twisting, patting, spraying, and more spraying. By the time I finished, I was sweating pretty good again.

Then there was a knock on my door. (Commence even more sweating.) I ran to the right, to the left, and then I froze, because there was a boy wanting to take me out on a date.

Another knock.

I took in a deep breath, smoothed my dress, and opened the door. Standing on the other side was --

"Mr. Shuster?" I sputtered in surprise.

My very tall, very German landlord stood on my doorstep. He reminded me of a blond-person-version of that angry, blue eagle guy from the Muppets. His eyebrows were fuzzy and disapproving. He held his hands behind his back and rocked on the balls of his feet.

"Miss Skies, your rent is late. This is not like you." (Insert Germany-sounding accent)

My face grew instantly hot. My hand flew to my forehead as if the memory of having to pay rent had just hit me there like a bug. "Shit! Oh my gosh! I totally forgot. I'm so sorry. For the rent -- and the swearing." I spun around and ran to the counter where my purse and checkbook sat. "I'll write it up now." I ripped the checkbook out of my bag and started scribbling.

How could I have missed my rent? I'd never missed my rent. Well, these last few weeks had been distracting and different, to say the least. I ripped the rent check out and turned to run it back to Mr. Shuster as if seconds mattered now that it was already late. I froze mid run because walking up behind my landlord at that moment was Brian. At that moment. I wanted to curl up in the corner and hide from the world.

Instead, I snapped the check behind my back (no way I wanted him to know I had trouble paying my rent) and said, "Oh! Hi!" (There may have been a cackle-y laugh somewhere in there, too.)

"Hello?" Brian said as my landlord turned and noticed him. He looked lovely. He wore a nice charcoal gray casual suit with a blue shirt and dark tie. His hair was obviously messed with and looked slightly wet as it fell about his forehead.

"Brian, this is Mr. Shuster, my landlord," I said.

"Nice to meet you." Brian shook Mr. Shuster's hand, but still looked completely confused.

"He was just checking on me because there's -- um -- a prowler in the neighborhood." I opened my eyes wide at my angry-Muppet-landlord in a "just go with it" way. "Thank you for warning me," I said before he could respond. I reached out and shook his hand, placing the check in his palm as I did so. I locked eyes with him and watched him closely as I saw he felt it and nodded along, too. I pretty much felt like James Bond.

"Yes, good evening." He turned and left, shaking his head.

Brian looked at me with his mouth pulled up into a half-smile which made one of his eyes squint at me suspiciously. He didn't press the subject, though, instead opening his hands and saying, "Where to?"

"Um -- well -- I --" Breathe, Sunny. You can do this. "Pizza Planet!" I yelled, even though that was not even close to one of the places I had written down and both of us were much too dressed up for stupid ole Pizza Planet.

Brian's head jerked back at my outburst, but then he chuckled and said, "Alright. Pizza Planet it is." He held his arm out, like for me to wrap mine through. My heart just about melted. I turned to grab my purse from the counter and (for some reason) grabbed his arm with both of my hands.

Brian just smiled again, nodded, and led me out the door. He smelled amazing, like that spicy and leathery cologne scent, but not too much. Just enough. I wanted to sink into him, but instead I clutched his arm like an angry crab. Luckily my place wasn't too far from the parking lot, so my awkward arm-holding didn't last too long. His car was nice, black and shiny. He opened the door for me and I slid into the seat.

While he walked around to the other side, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then I remembered Rainy. I grabbed my cell phone out of my bag and started texting her the name of the restaurant. Brian got in and cocked his head at the phone. I pressed send and dropped it into my purse.

"Who you texting?" he asked as he leaned toward me a little.

"Oh -- just my... cat," I said and gave a quick shrug. Cat? Why had I said that. How weird was I?

Brian laughed. "Your cat?"

I nodded. Kill me, kill me now.

"He has a cell phone?"

If it was possible, my heart started racing even faster. "Um. Yeah," was all I could come up with. "Yep." I nodded again, then resisted the urge to let my head sink between my knees, looking out the window instead as he started the car and pulled out of my parking lot.

"How does he...?" Brian made texting motions with his fingers. He wasn't letting it go.

"Oh, ha!" I thought quickly. "Not my actual cat." I shook my head. "Um, my Aunt Cat."

Brian nodded and I could see a smile curl his lips. "Aunt Cat. Checking in. Nice." He smiled at me. "You look great, by the way," he said, looking over at me for a second before keeping his eyes on the road.

Heart melting, again, I ducked my head and pressed my lips together. "Thanks. You, too."

Brian waved a hand. "Oh, this old thing. Just had it hanging around. I always wear suits when I go out to dinner on Wednesdays."

I bit my lip and let my shoulders relax back into the seat a little more.

"How was the rest of your day?" Brian asked, but just as he did, my phone buzzed in my purse.

I could read it from where I sat since I'd just dropped it on top. It was Rainy saying, Pizza Planet? Were we sure? And then that she'd see me there. My hand shot out to the phone because if
I
could read it, maybe Brian could, too. I really didn't want him to see that. I really didn't want him to know I had someone coming to help me, coming because I couldn't be alone with a guy. I clicked the top button and made the screen go dark again, then I flipped the phone over, so that wouldn't happen again.

"Your Aunt Cat again?" Brian asked.

"Ha!" I twisted my hands in my lap nervously. "No. That was just..." I shook my head. "Just a friend."

We sat in silence for what seemed like an hour, but was probably more like three seconds. "So... your day?" Brian asked again.

Oh yeah. He had asked a question and I had ignored him. Dammit, Sunny. Get it together. "Great!" I said. My stomach rolled as I thought about my job change coming up in a few days. I was about to tell him about it when flashes of myself flirting with Spencer this morning came to mind. I realized that unless you know about the signs and my almost drowning, me taking the job makes almost no sense.

I didn't want to have to get into all of that, so I followed the great up with, "Good." I nodded again. Man there was a lot of nodding happening already. I tried to think of other things my body could do, but my mind came up blank.

"Grood," Brian said.

"Huh?"

"Great. Good. Grood." He shrugged.

"Oh! Ha!" I said, way too loud. I looked back at my hands, back outside, down at my shoes. Was there something on my shoes? Nope. They were fine. I remembered one of the tips on that dating conversation website: Listen more than you talk. In order for me to listen, he needed to talk. Brian shifted in his seat. He must have not been completely comfortable, either. I think I hadn't noticed because I was such a mess, but he kept clearing his throat and re-adjusting his glasses like he really wanted to polish them, but he was driving and that wouldn't be safe. He was better at this dating thing than me, for sure, but he was nervous, too. He might not know what to talk about, either. I picked at my nails and looked around. Then I thought of something!

"How about you?" I asked. "Er -- your day?"

Brian stopped at a red light and wobbled his head about. "Pretty fair."

I waited for more, wanting to be a good listener, but that seemed to be it. Dammit. Well, it's not like I had gabbed about my day either, so I couldn't really fault the guy.

"So you said you're a temp over at the station. What do you do temporarily there?" Brian asked me, looking over quickly before accelerating through the now-green light. His fingers tapped at the steering wheel anxiously.

Crap. Back to the job again. I pursed my lips. I technically hadn't started my new position yet, but it was close enough. "I'm an assistant to the --" (Oh, hell. I'd forgotten what it was that my new universe-provided job entailed.) "To the weather report camera man." I spat out. I think that was close to what Spencer had said. Yeah. I nodded because Brian looked at me in an are-you-sure way. "Sorry, it's just that I'm actually not a temp anymore. They're moving me to permanent staff," I answered brightly and watched him as he listened, wishing that our date could just be all about me staring at him instead of having to do all this talking.

He raised his eyebrows. "That's great. It sounds interesting."

I laughed. "It isn't." (At least it didn't sound like it.)

He chuckled, too. "Neither is what I do, but it pays the bills." He looked at me, to the point that I was worried he might get into an accident. "So we have boring jobs. Let's not talk about them. How 'bout it?"