A Dad of His Own (16 page)

“And if the tests don’t match, I’m really happy to have met you anyway.” She had so much to tell him, how meeting him had eased the feeling of desertion from his father’s behavior, but with Cooper listening, she had to monitor what she said. “You’ve given me a better feeling about things.”

Jess understood. She saw it in his face.

“I can’t undo my father’s inappropriate actions, but I hope it lets you know that I care.”

Her tears returned, and she could only nod. She headed back to the chair while Jess and Cooper looked at the book.

Lexie wished Ethan had arrived to witness this.

L
exie lowered her head and let the tears flow. When she felt drained, she drew in a ragged breath and wandered to the window. Ethan said he would arrive about five to drive her to the hospital to visit Cooper, and she could barely contain herself, waiting.

When she heard a car pull up, she headed to the door, and when his hand touched the knob, she flung it open. He hurried inside and held her to his chest. “What is it? What happened?”

She shook her head, unable to speak.

“Jess’s bone marrow test? Is it a go or not?”

She managed to look into his eyes and utter one word. “Not.”

“Oh, Lexie, I hoped and prayed.” He cuddled her against him, soothing her sorrow and releasing his own.

She struggled to get herself under control not only for her sake but for Ethan. His love for Cooper glowed like the full moon they’d witnessed at the Grand Canyon. He lit her darkest night. “Let’s sit.” She motioned him forward, and he walked beside her to the sofa and drew her beside him. “I need to get myself in shape. Jess said he’d drop by. I know
he feels terrible, and it’s not his fault. The whole thing was a long shot.”

“But we both had hopes, Lexie, and it’s not over. The hospital is still looking, and God provides.”

She shook her head. “Maybe not for me.”

He drew back. “I don’t like hearing you say that. With God, all things are possible. Repeat that over and over when you doubt.” He took her hand in his. “We all doubt sometimes even when we know better. God knows your heart, Lexie, and He’ll never walk away.”

“I’m new at this.” She lowered her head again. “I’m desperate. I didn’t want Cooper to have this transplant, and now I’m wondering if maybe that’s why things aren’t falling into place.”

“It hasn’t been that long.” He squeezed her hand again. “I know it seems forever, but hang on and—”

The doorbell sounded, and Lexie rose. “It’s probably Jess.”

When she opened the door, he stood a second and then hugged her. “I’m so sorry.”

She maneuvered her face as pleasant a look as she could manage for Jess’s sake. He looked forlorn. “I’m grateful you tried. I told you that already.” She shifted back. “Come in.” She motioned him into the room.

Ethan rose and took a step forward.

“No, I can’t stay, but I wanted to ask this in person. I’ve been talking to Hart, and he’s not saying much, but I think he’d like to meet Cooper. Would you mind?”

Emotions fluttered through her. One more chance? No. She dismissed the thought. “That would be fine. Would you let me know when?”

Jess pressed his lips together. “Here’s the catch. He would prefer not to meet you right now.”

The idea jolted her, and she couldn’t avoid her frown. “But—”

“Despite his frustration with Dad, they were probably closer than I was, and I think seeing you makes our father’s thoughtless lifestyle more real.”

It made sense to her. “Would you like to go up now? I’ll wait and you can call when you’re leaving.”

He pondered her offer before pulling out his cell phone. “You know, that might be a good idea.”

“If you’d like some privacy, head into the kitchen. It’s right through that archway.” He nodded and swept through the doorway. “Hart…”

His voice faded, and Lexie stood beside Ethan, her mind barraged with hope, despair and possibilities. “What do you think?”

Ethan shrugged. “You made the only decision.”

Lexie slipped into the easy chair while Ethan returned to the sofa.

“When I told Cooper about his two half brothers, he wanted to meet them both. I made excuses, but this can make things right.” She let the comment sink in. “I hope it will.”

Ethan leaned forward, his fingers woven into a knot in front of him. “If Hart agrees to visit Cooper, he’ll do the right thing. I’m sure he will.”

She hoped Ethan was correct. Sinking into silence, she eyed her watch and then the doorway until she heard Jess’s footsteps.

“He said yes. I’m meeting him there.” He crossed his fingers. “I’ll call you later.”

Lexie started to rise, but Jess stopped her. “I’ll let myself out. Hart has a sensitive side, although he keeps it hidden. We can hope.”

She agreed and waved as he slipped outside.

Ethan gazed at her. Neither had to say anything.

Ethan paced in the hospital room, dressed in a gown and mask. He’d sterilized his hands as everyone did when they entered the room. The weeks before a transplant were critical. Cooper’s rigorous preparation since he entered the bone marrow transplant unit provided chemotherapy much stronger than before, and it tore him apart to see how weak and nauseous Cooper had been since then.

While pacing, Ethan listened to Lexie talk with Cooper, explaining again what he had in store. Since the day they’d heard Hart’s bone marrow matched, the transplant would not leave his mind. His prayers answered, he now prayed for God’s blessing on the procedure.

“I know, Mom. I’ll be even sicker than I am, but you know what? I’ve been sick most of my life. Now I’ll have a chance to get better.”

“And once you’re home, your grandma and granddad are coming to visit you.”

“Good, and I’ll feel better then.”

Ethan sidled to Lexie’s side. “You sure will, Coop.”

Lexie slipped her hand into his. He fought back his tears while moisture blurred his vision. He walked toward the doorway and brushed his tears away. Noise from the hallway caused his pulse to rise. Soon the gurney would arrive to take Cooper to the surgery, and they would wait, an eternal wait, until the procedure had ended.

He trudged to the window and looked out at the sunny September day. School started the week before, and though they tried to avoid the topic, Cooper knew, but his hope remained solid. He’d looked at them with determination in his eyes. “Next year I won’t miss one day of school, will I?”

Lexie affirmed his declaration, and Ethan nodded, know
ing if anyone could go to school and not miss a day it would be a healthy eight-year-old named Cooper.

As he turned back toward the bed, footsteps sounded in the hall, and his pulse skipped, but when he looked up, he smiled. “Jess.”

He stood back from the doorway. Ethan stepped into the hall and offered his hand.

Jess shook it. “I’m heading up to the surgical waiting room, but I thought I’d stop so Cooper knows I’m here.”

Their relationship amazed him. In the short time Jess had been in Cooper’s life, the two had become brothers. Cooper never asked for details. He’d accepted his mother’s simple explanation, and it had been a blessing. Neither Ethan nor Lexie had met Hart. He’d offered his bone marrow, but that seemed to be it. He’d met Coop once, then walked away. Hart puzzled Ethan, but time could make a difference. Time and prayer.

“I wish you could come in and tell him yourself, but—”

Jess lifted his palm. “Don’t explain. I understand. They offered me a mask and everything, but I didn’t want to take a chance. Just tell him I’m here.”

“I’m happy to.”

Ethan watched him leave before returning to the room. “That was Jess, Cooper. He wanted you to know he’s here waiting.”

“Tell him I’ll see him later.”

As Cooper finished his sentence, a nurse entered with a needle. “Time for a shot to make you drowsy. Okay, Cooper?” She leaned over the bed and eyed his arms.

He rolled his head toward her. “What’s drowsy?”

“It’ll make you sleepy so you’ll be comfortable when you go in for your transplant.”

Lexie watched from the other side of the bed.

Ethan joined her and slipped his arm around Lexie’s waist. “Would you mind if I talk to Cooper a second alone after the shot?”

A faint frown flashed across Lexie’s face. “Okay, but—”

“Just for moment. I want to tell him something to distract him a little. I’ll call it our secret, and he’ll love that.”

Her lips curved upward as the frown vanished. “He loves secrets.” Before the nurse finished, she slipped from the room still wearing the gown and mask.

The nurse dropped the needle into the bio-hazard container and looked at him. “He’ll relax now, and they’ll be here soon to take him.” She smiled at Cooper and swept out the door.

Ethan ambled toward Cooper and sat on the edge of the bed. “Your mom’ll be back in a minute.”

Cooper nodded, his eyes already heavy.

“I want to tell you something, just between you and me.”

He tilted his head.

“I want to marry your mom, but I want to make sure you’re okay with that.”

He tugged his eyes open. “And you’d be my dad?”

Ethan nodded. “That’s one of the best parts. But I don’t know what your mom will say, so we have to say prayers that she’ll like the idea.”

“I like the idea.” Cooper managed to grin. “I think she will, too.”

“Good. That’s what I want.” As he leaned over to hug him, Cooper kissed his cheek. Ethan’s heart exploded with delight.

“I see the gurney coming down the hall.”

Lexie’s voice startled him, and he straightened and rose. “It’s your turn.”

She finished washing her hands, and he moved out of her way to give her room.

“Getting sleepy?” She propped her hand against the mattress and leaned above him.

Cooper nodded. “Mom, if Ethan asked you to marry him, what would you say?”

Lexie turned toward Ethan, her eyes wide. “Where did that question come from?”

Ethan could only smile and shake his head.

She grinned. “This was the secret?” He chuckled.

She clasped Cooper’s hand and kissed it. “I would say yes.”

“I say yes, too.” Cooper slid his hand over hers and gave it a single pat before he closed his eyes.

At the door, Ethan and Lexie slipped out of their protective wear and waited in the hall while the escorts lifted him to the stretcher. He tucked his hand in hers and grinned. “The secret didn’t work quite the way it was supposed to go. I wanted the occasion to be a bit more romantic.” Her tender look washed over him.

“It was.” She squeezed his hand. “It was better than romantic. It was beautiful.”

They followed the stretcher to the elevator and rode to the surgical floor waiting room. He had so much more to say, but right now his focus stayed with Cooper and his long journey to healing.

When they entered the waiting room, Ethan faltered. Lexie noticed, too, because her body stiffened against his arm. Another young man sat with Jess, deep in conversation. But before the decision was made to leave or continue, Jess looked up and beckoned to them. As they approached, Jess and the stranger rose.

“Lexie and Ethan, I want you to meet my brother, Hart.”

The shock of seeing the owner of the decisive voice he’d heard on the phone rattled his bones. Ethan extended his hand. “Thanks for coming.”

He only nodded as he faced Lexie. “I hadn’t wanted to meet you, but after I thought about it, I saw the situation wasn’t your fault. Dad had moved out long before meeting you. At the time, it felt like too much reality.”

No apology, but an explanation.

“Hart, I can’t thank you enough for doing what must have been difficult for you, and I would have been startled, too, by Ethan’s phone call.” She grasped his hand. “You notice I didn’t have the courage, because of my own reality.”

He nodded as if he understood. “I’m not staying, but I did want you to know that I’m hoping the best for Cooper. He’s a good-looking boy, and my gut says he’ll come out of this well.”

“So does mine. An uncanny warmth began growing inside me since I heard the bone marrow matched. I believe it was God’s way of speaking in His soft, tender voice. We just need to listen and experience it. Cooper will be fine once he’s through the healing. It takes time. Months. But he will be fine.”

Her confession sent Ethan’s spirit soaring. She’d said she believed, and he’d seen her pray, but today he saw her faith come alive.

Though neither Hart nor Jess expressed their faith, their acceptance appeared real.

Jess grasped Ethan’s shoulder. “I’ll walk Hart out.”

Lexie said goodbye again, and the two strode through the doorway.

“Whew.” Lexie lifted her eyebrows. “I wasn’t expecting that.” She shook her head. “He looks so much like Hart.”

“He’s handsome.”

She touched his face. “Not as handsome as you.”

Not so, but he loved what she said. Ethan motioned to the chairs the brothers had vacated, and they sank into them. The clock hands sat at ten-sixteen, and they would creep along. They always did when he was waiting.

“I wonder why Hart changed his mind?”

Lexie filled her lungs. “I’ve thought about that. The Bible says children are not to bear the burden of their father’s sins, but I think Hart realized that he was bearing a heavier burden by acting like his father and ignoring a child’s need. His half brother.”

“That makes sense, and you’re right. When we hang on to resentment, it eats us alive, and the person that caused our feelings wins. By letting it go, we win.”

His mind drifted to Laine’s illness, and how for so long, he’d blamed himself for not having enough faith and not meeting her needs. When he looked back, he’d done everything he could. Yes, he had to work. Bills had to be paid, and he’d wished they could have shared those hours he was away, but that didn’t mean he’d been to blame or that he hadn’t done all he could for her. He’d loved her then, and always would. But she had died, not him, and he’d almost allowed life to pass him by.

He slipped Lexie’s hand into his. “We have lots to talk about.”

She gazed at him, a faint grin evident. “You mean Cooper’s question about my marrying you?”

He chuckled. “Right. He did the proposing, not me, but it’s what I told him.” He ran his finger up her arm and down again. “I don’t want to live without you, Lexie. The past is gone and we have today and tomorrow, a future to share. Marrying you and Cooper is my dream come true.”

“It’s mine, too. You’re a part of our lives, and you added the piece that had been missing for so long.” A tiny scowl
fluttered to her face and left as quickly. “You and the Lord. I’d lived with a huge hole in my heart and my life. Now it’s filled to the brim.”

“And mine’s running over.” Ethan squeezed her hand.