A Different Side (University Park #4) (58 page)

I released a long, deep breath. “Sounds great, but I’m sure it’s not that easy.”

“It’s not and it’s going to take some time.”

“How much time?” I pressed, still questioning whether his method would work.

He let out a small chuckle. “It’s good to see your eagerness, but this is no quick fix. It takes time and practice. You have to decide what your mind will hear and respond to the positive thoughts instead of negative ones. We all have freewill, but it’s up to you to choose how you respond. The voices may never go away, Raven, but with a step-by-step process, I can teach you how to successfully take control of them, instead of letting them control you.”

“Sounds intensive.” I let out a sigh.

“Like I said, it’s not going to be an easy battle, but if you use the tactics I teach you, I promise you will see change and results.”

“You sound convinced it will work for me.” I smirked, relaxing in my chair. Although I hadn’t heard of his methodology, it sounded like something a psychologist would use. “Not every brain works the same and not every person is the same, you know.”

“Of course and it might not work for you. But what if it does? Can you imagine how different your life would be? Would you say it’s worth trying?” He stood up and buttoned his coat. “The choice is yours, Raven. If you want to try this, I’m more than willing to help.”

I nodded. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“Please do. If you don’t show up to your appointment on Monday, I’ll know the answer.” He walked toward the door and I followed him, grabbing my coat off the rack.

“Thank you for your time, Dr. Galen.”

“My pleasure.” He shook my hand and I walked out of his office and straight out the door, not bothering to look back. The last thing I needed was any interference from the receptionist.

Glancing at my phone, I wondered if Lexi was done with her appointment. She’d have questions, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it with her — not yet. My mind was going full speed and I needed to release some nervous energy. Flying down the stairs, I bypassed the second floor and exited the building. A gust of cold, drizzly air hit me and I slipped on my jacket. The weather resembled exactly how I felt. Shitty. And the best cure was a good workout. I got in my car but before pulling out of the parking lot, I shot Lexi a quick text.

Me: I’m headed to the gym. Need some time to myself.

I backed out of the parking lot and headed to the athletics center. It didn’t take long for her to respond.

Lexi: Is everything okay?

As soon as I drove into the parking lot, I responded.

Me: I’ll be fine. I just need some time to process a few things.

Lexi: Okay.

Σ

Chapter 38

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.

~Jim Rohn

Eight weeks had passed since I started counseling. It had taken me a few days to come to a final decision to go through with the sessions. If I wanted to stay at PHU, it wasn’t like I had a choice, though. The difference was I wanted it to work this time. I was so tired of being controlled. I needed a new set of plays to win this fight. The best offense against my demons was a good defense. I had to learn how to position myself by protecting my head and Dr. Galen’s techniques were working.

Some days were good and some sucked. Lexi had started staying at her dorm after the first three weeks of my counseling sessions. I loved waking up next to her, but I couldn’t blame her for moving back. After a bad session, I’d ignore her until I worked out my issues. It had been rough, just like I expected. Dr. Galen was peeling away the layers, getting to the root of the problem and showing me different ways to handle those toxic, demonic thoughts.

At first, I didn’t see how it would work, but after fourteen days, I started becoming more aware of how the voices attacked when certain situations or thoughts arose. By day twenty-one, I was learning how to respond when the voices made their grand appearance. And by day thirty-five, I had a new playing field in my mind I’d crafted to my advantage. Growing this new landscape wasn’t easy and the old threatened to take over every time. One thing was certain: the demons didn’t like it, but I sure did.

“You ready, man?” Josh bumped fists with me.

“Hell yeah.” I rotated my shoulder a few times, hoping it wasn’t going to give me trouble. It was Pro Day at PHU. The day scouts came to assess the talent of players entering the draft. Although I hadn’t opted for the draft, Coach asked if I’d throw passes to the players being showcased. I more than willingly agreed. It would be great exposure for me.

There was something about being in front of the scouts that made me more determined to win this battle. I had lived on the defensive side of life since I discovered how I was conceived. I let it shape and turn me into a person I didn’t want to be. I never thought I’d be able to change until this beautiful brunette came into my life and encouraged me to live on a different side. Without Lexi and Dr. Galen tactics, I wouldn’t be here — no question about it.

“Relax, man, you’ve got this.” I placed my hand on his shoulder, giving him the reassurance he needed. Josh’s stats were good. With eleven-hundred and sixty-two rushing yards and six-hundred and eighty-two receiving yards, he was projected as a fifth round draft pick. But that was all before the Combine, so he had a good reason to be concerned.

He moved his head from left to right, popping the joints. “Just a walk in the park.” Nervous energy tainted the excitement flowing over his face. Josh had missed the Combine after he sprained his big toe during practice, which sucked because he was so worried he wouldn’t get invited. His turf toe was so painful, he could barely walk on it. He and Coach decided it was best if he sat out since he wouldn’t be able to perform at his best. Pro Day was his shot at being drafted.

We looked around for Shawn and spotted him on one of the trainer’s tables. “Are you hurting?” I asked as Marcos taped Shawn’s ankle, the one he injured during the bowl game.

“It started hurting after that last squat. Damn thing keeps swelling,” Shawn huffed. He and Josh, along with the other draft-eligible players, had just finished being weighed, measured, and proving their muscle strength with a pre-field workout.

Marcos cut the black tape and pulled it firmly underneath the heel of his foot. “How’s that feel?”

“Good.” Shawn wiggled his toes. “Not too tight.”

“After you’re done, we’ll do some cryotherapy. That should help.” Marcos gave Shawn’s ankle one more check before tucking his scissors in the pocket of his shirt.

“Okay.” Shawn slipped his sock on and then put on his shoe.

Josh, Shawn, and I trekked onto the field and a loud thunder roared, heightening the excitement pulsing through our veins. Spring was making its grand appearance with heavy rain and lightning while we were getting ready to heat up the field inside.

“Damn, who’s not here?” Shawn said as his eyes scanned up and down the sideline. Media and scouts from a ton of pro teams crowded the indoor practice field, waiting for them to put their skills to the test. PHU earned the status as one of the top ten universities for developing talent, which drew a couple of coaches to the exclusive day.

“No kidding.” Josh blew out a long breath. My friends had been working hard for this day — watching clips from previous games, honing in on areas needing improvement. Every day, I practiced with them until they were satisfied with their performance. Helping them and attending spring practice kept me focused and determined to make a permanent change.

Bright orange cones dotted the green turf ready to test our agility. Coach stood on the sideline, overseeing his top players like a proud father. The trainers and assistant coaches darted around the field and motioned to us. “Let’s do this,” I said and they followed me.

The assistant coaches gave us some instructions for drills and I jogged into place. I looked into the stands and quickly spotted Lexi and Shelby. Shawn’s parents, Betty and Ron Jackson, sat next to them. I really liked his family and they treated me like another son, just like Josh’s parents. Even though I didn’t have a father, Ron and Bob offered a warm seat to discuss any of my concerns or needs. I had a few times, but I let my pride get in the way and kept my issues to myself, until I met Dr. Galen.

I allowed my eyes to travel up and down the sidelines, spotting several scouts I’d spoken with previously. Despite my off-field issues, I did have the attention of several teams. It was just a matter of walking that straight line and performing this coming season. As long as I did that, I had a good shot of being a top draft pick.

Shawn and Josh were talking with their agents as I practiced throwing to a few of the players. I’d been approached by a few agents, but hadn’t decided to enter into an agreement with any of them. I still had time, but with the next season a few months away, I’d have to make a decision soon.

“What do you think?” Coach Anderson approached me from behind just as I caught a kick from Tony Rodriguez.

I rotated the football so the white laces were underneath my fingers. “Pretty damn impressive.” With the ball firmly in my grip, I hurled it back to him.

“I hear you’re on New Orleans’ radar.” Coach adjusted his hat as his eyes wandered to the general vicinity of where their scout stood.

“Is that so?” I grinned and then turned in time to catch another kick. It would be awesome to play for the team located where I was born — especially since most of my family was still there.

“Seattle’s, too.”

I hit the ball against my palm a few times. “That’s music to my ears.”

“When we’re done, I’ll make sure to introduce you. I know it’s early, but their watching, so remember to do your best.”

“Yes, sir. Always.”

“That’s my boy.” Coach placed his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t be afraid to show ‘em what you got.” I smiled and then hurled the ball back to Tony. “Let’s get the show on the road.” Coach grabbed his whistle and blew it. “Marshall, you’re up.”

Josh darted to the forty-yard line and Tony kicked the ball back to me. One of the assistant coaches gave the signal to begin. I waited for Josh as he paced in a small circle. It was obvious he was worked up about today. When it came to football, we were different. I played for the love it, where Josh was dead serious about it. I wanted to play professionally, but I was realistic about the opportunity. Josh’s life revolved around landing a contract. If he didn’t, I wasn’t sure how’d he survive. He stopped trekking around the field and stood in place, making eye contact with me, which told me he was ready.

I threw the ball as Josh exhibited his skills for all to see. After a few passes, he ran his drills and the scouts from all the major teams, including Cleveland, clicked their stopwatches simultaneously to record his time. Some consulted with each other, while others remained silent as they jotted his time on note pads or electronic devices. And Josh rocked it! Dashing, jumping, catching, you name it — he did it with speed and accuracy.

We high-fived as he exited the field. Shawn didn’t waste any time, taking the field as soon as he got the go-ahead. Tampa’s wide receiver coach stepped forward. Shawn had spent the day before interviewing him, despite attending the Combine and elevating his stock to a third round pick. No doubt, he had a damn good chance of getting drafted at a higher round.

Shawn really showed up too, completing his drills with a vertical jump that placed him in the top five. His forty and sixty yard dash showed how accelerated he was on his feet, proving he could contest any throw on the field.

Pro Day continued with nine other top contenders. I did my part, as coached asked, throwing passes as needed. The PHU players exhibited their skills as the scouts actively moved about, recording the results. Coach talked with a few of the pro coaches there, along with some of the scouts. Josh and Shawn’s agents were the only two allowed to attend while the others waited patiently outside for everyone to finish so they could wine and dine their prospects. Overall, it was the biggest turnout for PHU in history. And the best part? I was a part of it.

Once the four-hour Pro Day concluded, we hit the locker room. The coaches congratulated the draft contenders and the scouts hung around, talking to several of them. Coach was engaged in a conversation with New Orleans’ scout and motioned for me. I wiped the sweat from my face, tossed the towel in one of the dirty hampers, and approached them.

“Raven, I’d like to you meet Myles LeDoux.” The short, stocky guy extended his hand.

“Nice to meet you.” We exchanged a warm shake. “Glad you could come out today.”

He inclined his head and his perfectly molded hair followed his movements. It reminded me of Jimmy Johnson’s hair, except he was a much younger version. “Me, too. PHU makes fourteen for me. I still have about five more to go.”

“They sure keep you busy.” I rested my hands on my waist and took a silent breath. Scouts typically asked coaches questions about their players. I had no idea what Myles and Coach Anderson were discussing, but whatever he asked me or wanted to know, I had to be honest with him. It wasn’t like I could hide my past.

“No question about it.” He smiled. “So, how’s that shoulder doing?”

I rotated my arm a few times, cupping the edge of my blade. “Right now, fine. I’ve had a few flare ups, but muscle stem therapy and cryotherapy seem to really help.”

“That’s great. Not many universities are using cryotherapy. Glad to hear you’re a step ahead.”

Coach crossed his arms and tucked his hands against his chest. “My boys are important. I need them in the best shape and injury free.”

“Sounds like you’re doing a good job of rehabbing them.” Myles gave me a quick once over. “I really like your deep pass and your accuracy has really improved.”

“Thank you.” I held back the grin dying to escape. “I’ve been working hard.”

“It shows.” He inclined his head. “Keep it up and practice reading your defenses and creating a pre-snap plan.”