A Dinner Of Herbs (75 page)

to a frozen stop;

only her eyes moved and took in the number of doors going off the hall. Then her ears

seemed to widen

as she recognized Ben’s voice, and the tone with which he was speaking his endearments brought her

eyelids blinking and her mouth into a gape, for they were words that she had dreamed

someone would

whisper to her.

But as yet, no one had. These words, though, weren’t being whispered:

“My dearest one. My beloved,” were being said aloud, and to, of all people, their Kate, a great big

ungainly individual. “ If she had been wealthy or very accomplished she could have

understood it, but in

her opinion, the only word for her half-sister was homely, and she considered she was

being kindly at

that.

Then her body bent slightly forward in the direction of the half-open doors across the hall to the right of

her as his voice ended, saying, “All right, all right, my dearest. I promise you on my word of honour, I

will this time settle a deal on the house, the one that lies beyond Corbridge, for neither of us would have

any peace were I to insist that we live here. And it has been borne in on me more every time that I see

him, how right you are that he must never know the truth. The whole business seems as

alive to him now

as it was when it happened all those years ago. He seems to become infuriated by the

very name

Bannaman, and as you say, darling. God knows what his reaction would be if he found

out I was her

son. But there, it will be as you wish.

You will be Mrs. Benedict Fraser Hamilton, of Briars Mount, in the County of

Northumberland. “

There followed a pause which Maggie filled in with her imagination, and then Kate’s

voice came, saying,

“And you won’t tell him about our proposed trip to America, till after the wedding, will you?”

“Not if you don’t wish it, darling.”

There was another pause during which Maggie should have turned and fled, but the

identity of Kate’s

man and of Kate’s knowledge of his identity had filled her with such a feeling of

amazement and even

horror that she found it impossible to move.

Then there they were, standing, arms about each other in the open doorway, staring at

her, as amazed

and even as horrified as she herself was.

“Oh, dear Lord!” Kate dropped her head back on her shoulders, closed her eyes and bit

tightly on her

lip. Then, bringing her head forward, she opened her mouth to speak, but in the effort it took Ben’s

voice cut in coldly, “You were looking for someone, Maggie?”

“Oh, you! You two. Imposter! That’s what you are, an imposter. And you’she was

spluttering as she

glared at Kate ‘knowing who he was. Oh, you sly, sneaking dirty....”

“Shut up!” Kate pulled herself away from Ben’s hold and, advancing on Maggie, she

said, “Well, now

you know, and you’re happy, aren’t you?

So get back home, fly, and tell them all, you mean-minded little brat, you. Go on! “ She half lifted her

hand, then clenched her fist, and Maggie, stepping back from her, swallowed deeply

before she cried, “

Yes, yes, I will. I’m going, and just see what’ll happen to you then and your friend.

Friend, you used to

say he was. You deceived everybody then, but to think you knew he was a Bannaman.

Dad will kill

him. Yes’—now she turned and glared at Ben ‘he’s capable of it. So look out, the both of you. “ And

with this she turned and ran down the hall and through the kitchen, out into the yard, onto the road and

along to the trap. And as she did so the first large flakes of snow began to fall. Once she had taken her

seat, she whipped up the horse until the animal went into a gallop. It was almost as Kate had said, she

was flying home with the news.... Back in the hall Ben, holding Kate in his arms, said, “

Don’t tremble so,

darling. Strange, but I knew all along it would have to come into the open, and perhaps it’s for the best.

“

“No! No!” Her whole body moved in protest.

“You don’t know him. The very name rouses him to anger. As she said, he would be

capable of

killing. Oh, Ben, Ben, I’m afraid.”

“Well, he’s a sensible man, he should know what would happen if he started shooting.”

“He wouldn’t care. Oh, Ben, you don’t know him, not like I do. I ... I think he would

have got over his

father being murdered, but ... but not what she did to him.”

“Perhaps if I explained to him what she did to me, do you think it would help?”

“No. No. Yet, it might, if you didn’t want to marry me.”

“But I do want to marry you, and I’m going to marry you.”

“Oh, Ben.”

“Don’t say, oh Ben, like that. You love me, don’t you?”

“With all my heart, dear, with all my heart. You know that.”

“Yes, yes I do, and so we will be married.... Shall I come back with you now and get it over....”

“No, no!” She raised her hand as if warding off an invisible blow.

“No, she will have had her say by the time I reach home, and then I shall have mine.”

“And what will be your say?”

“Just as you said, dear, that we shall be married. Sooner or later we shall be married. We will be

married.”

He said no more, but, putting his arms around her shoulders, he led her across the hall and into the

kitchen and there, at the door, he said gently, “It’s snowing.” Then taking her hands, he held them tightly

to his chest as he said, “In a way, I’m glad it’s happened.

It’s a weight off my mind. And now I needn’t sleep up in the shack any more. “ He gave a wry smile.

“I’ll stay here tonight, but first I’ll bring Daisy down and tomorrow morning I’ll go up and bring the goat

down and the rest of my books and papers. The odds and ends of furniture can be left for the next

tenant.” And he ended by saying, “Shall I come over tomorrow?”

“No. No, please, Ben. Wait here. I’ll come to you as soon as I can.”

He now lifted the scarf from her shoulders and, putting it over her bonnet, he tied it under her chin; then

with an almost rough movement, he pulled her to him and kissed her hard on the lips

before pressing her

out of the door and across the yard to the stable in which the horse was tethered.

When she was mounted, she put out her hand to him and quietly she said, “Do you pray

at all?” And he

pursed his lips before he answered, “It isn’t a habit of mine.” And to this she said, “Well, I think now

would be a good time to adopt the habit. Goodbye, my love.”

He kissed her hand and answered, “Goodbye, my Kate.”

Out on the road, she did not gallop her horse towards home, but trotted it gently. The snow was coming

down thickly now, and when she passed three miners coming from their shift, one of

them hailed her with,

“Looks as if we’re in for another blanket, miss.” And she nodded at him and rode on, for she found that

she was unable to speak, her throat was so tight with unshed tears, while her mind was crying, “Oh, dear

God, make him understand,” while at the same time knowing that if God Himself should

appear before

him and put Ben’s case to him, he still wouldn’t understand why she had deceived him,

or forgive Ben for

being who he was.

She had just entered the yard when John came out of the kitchen doorway. It was as if he had been

awaiting her arrival. And as he made his way towards her, he called to Terry, “Come and take him, will

you?”

As he helped her down from the horse, he said quietly, “Kate. Kate.”

And she, standing still for a moment, looked at him and said, “Oh, John. You don’t

condemn me, do

you?”

“Aw, lass, no.” He gripped her arm. The past is past. It happened in another lifetime, but would you

be able to get him to understand that? “

“How is he?”

“He doesn’t know yet.”

“What!” Her eyes sprang wide.

“His cough was bad again and Mam gave him a dose and he fell asleep in the big chair.

He’s still there.”

“Mam?”

“Oh, yes. The rest of us got the full blast. She couldn’ wait. She’s a bitch, you know, our Maggie.

She’s a bitch Always has been, from the day she was born. It’s jealousy But God, she’s stirred up a

right hornet’s nest the day.”

“Where are they all?”

“In the kitchen. Mam’s kept her there. It should happei that she’d called us in for a mug of tea and

there we were Tom and me standing at the table, and Mam and Annii baking, and Florrie

had just come

into the room when ii she burst ... Maggie. Honest to God! I’ve never seei fury like it. It could match

Dad’s any day. Oh, she’s i damn little bitch that. Come on. Come away in, lass You’re

getting wet.”

As they kicked the snow from their boots and shook i from their clothes at the kitchen door, John said in

a low voice, “I’ll tell you one thing, not that it will be mud comfort to you, Tom and me like him, and

Gabriel an’ all and we think he’s right for you.”

“Thanks John, thanks.” She drew in a long breath nov and, putting out her hand, opened the kitchen

door an went inside.

Mary Ellen and Annie were sitting one each side of th table. Florrie was lighting the

candles and Maggie

wa sitting on the settle and, except for her hat, she was still ii her outdoor clothes. At the sight of Kate,

she rose to be feet, but Mary Ellen and Annie remained seated. No on spoke until Tom,

coming out of

the scullery, said quietly “Hello, Kate.” And she turned and looked at him bu didn’t

answer. When she

spoke, it was to her mother Standing at the end of the table she said quietly, “Well now you know.”

“Lass! Lass! Tis true then?” Mary Ellen’s voice was i mere whisper, and Kate replied,

“Yes, ‘tis true.

Althougl I don’t know exactly what my dear kind sister has told you.”

“And don’t call me your dear sister. I’m not your ful sister. I wouldn’t own you....”

Now as if a bombshell had exploded in the kitchen Mar Ellen sprang up and rounded on

her daughter,

hissing at her, “Shut up!

you. You mischief-making little slut, you! “

“Slut. You call me a slut when she’s been roaming the hills with that thing! And ... and whatever I am,

I’m not a bastard.”

The blow from Mary Ellen’s hand knocked Maggie backwards and she fell onto the

settle, crying out as

she did so, and before either Tom or John could reach their mother, Mary Ellen had again raised her

hand and had brought it across Maggie’s face once more before they managed to pull her away, Tom

crying, “Mam! Mam! What’s come over you?”

When, in front of the fireplace, Mary Ellen had shrugged them off, she stood gasping for a moment

before she cried, “Something that should have come over me long ago. She’s been asking for it. I’ve

never in me life seen anybody bring bad news quicker, and with such glee. And to call

Kate that name.

There’s different meanings to that word and, my lady, let me tell you this’she was now thrusting her finger

towards Maggie who was crying loudly while holding her face ‘if anyone’s a bastard in

this house, it’s

you.”

So engrossed had they been they hadn’t become aware that the door from the hall had

opened and

there stood Hal, his face screwed up as if he couldn’t believe his ears. And now they all turned their

attention on him, with the exception of Maggie who, still holding her head, was rocking herself.

Moving slowly forward, he looked down on Maggie for a moment before casting his

glance around his

family. Then addressing Mary Ellen, he said, “What’s this? What’s this now?”

Mary Ellen half turned from him, her hand held to her brow, muttering, “I ... I had to chastise her.”

“By calling her a bastard?” His voice came from deep in his throat.

“Come on. What’s this? I’ve never heard that word spoken in this house afore.”

When no one answered, his manner changing and his voice rising to a yell, he demanded,

“Speak out

one of you. What is this? I’ll get to know in the end.” He now went towards Maggie who, her head

against the back of the settle, was bobbing as if on wires, and he cried at her, “What have you done,

girl? What have you done to cause this narration?” As she did not speak, he turned

around and his gaze

came to rest on Kate. She had not removed her riding clothes, not even her scarf from her bonnet, and

he looked her over before saying, “Well?”

As Kate went to speak, Mary Ellen came to his side, saying quickly, “Maggie cheeked

Kate, that was

all. She cheeked her, uncalled for.

Yes, uncalled for. “

He turned and stared into Mary Ellen’s face but said nothing. Then looking at Kate again, he repeated

the word, “Well?”

Kate now looked Hal steadily in the eyes as she said, “Maggie had news concerning Ben

and me which

she thought you should all know, particularly you.”

When she paused, he said, “Aye. Well let’s hear it.”

Kate bowed her head before lifting it again, and once more looking him straight in the face she said,

“Before I give you my news, I want you to know that... that I love him very much, and

therefore what I

have done was to ease you pain, for I would not have you troubled for the world.”

“Get on with it, lass.” His voice was low.

And so she said, “Ben is ... is not whom he appears to be, not just Benedict Hamilton, he ... he is the