A Doctor to Remember (10 page)

Her mouth made a brief downward turn. ‘I’m a bit apprehensive, to be honest. I’m worried that being able to help Josh might have been a once-only thing, and that I was working purely on instinct. I feel pretty sure I know what I’m doing, but I’d hate to come across something that I couldn’t handle.’

‘I don’t think that’s going to happen, because the way you were with Josh everything you did seemed skilful and automatic, as though it was part of you. And after talking to you the hospital chiefs are confident that you’ll be fine. But if you’re worried, you could come to the hospital with me tomorrow, just to observe and help out…if you want to. There’s no pressure.’

‘That’s probably a good idea. I might get to know one way or the other if it’s going to work out.’

‘Okay. That’s a date.’ He grinned. ‘Not the sort I’d prefer, but I guess it’ll have to do for the time being.’

He picked her up in the morning after breakfast and drove her to the hospital. ‘I’ll introduce you to everyone, and after that you can just watch what’s going on, or you can work alongside me,’ he said as they walked into A and E. ‘If you feel uncomfortable at any time, just let me know.’

She looked around. Everything seemed familiar to her, and perhaps that was because she’d been here before with the little boy, Charlie, who had broken his leg and pelvis in the road accident. He was doing well now, by all accounts. She hadn’t taken it all in then, but now she saw the familiar layout of an emergency unit.

‘I think I’d like to work with you,’ she said. ‘If you’ll show me where everything is kept.’

He put an arm around her shoulder and gave her a quick hug. ‘Brilliant. I know you can do it, Saffi. It’ll be as though you’ve never been away, you’ll see.’

She wasn’t so sure about that to begin with, but gradually, as the morning wore on, she gained in confidence, standing by his side as he examined his patients and talking to him about the problems that showed up on X-ray films and CT scans. It was a busy morning, and they finally managed to take a break several hours after they had started work.

‘It’s finally calmed down out there,’ she said, sipping her coffee. ‘It’s been hectic.’

He nodded. ‘You seem to be getting on well with Jake, our registrar, and the nurses on duty.’

‘They’ve been really good to me, very helpful and kind.’ Except that Gina Raines had come on duty a short time ago, and straight away Saffi had become tense. She wasn’t sure why, but she had a bad feeling about her. Maybe it was because she knew she and Matt had been involved at one time, but that was over now, wasn’t it? So why should that bother her now? As soon as she had seen her, though, a band of pain had clamped her head and her chest muscles had tightened.

She frowned. ‘They all know about my head injury. I know we talked about telling them, but it feels odd.’

‘I thought it best to be straight with everyone from the start, to explain what we’re doing and why you’re here. They’re a good bunch of people. You’ll be fine with them.’

‘Yes. I think it will work out.’ She took another sip of coffee and all of a sudden her pager went off. Matt checked his at the same time, and stood up, already heading towards the door. Saffi hurried after him.

‘A five-year-old is coming in with her mother,’ the triage nurse said. ‘The little girl had just finished eating a biscuit at a friend’s house when she felt dizzy and fainted. Now she can’t get her breath.’

Matt and Saffi went to meet the mother in the ambulance bay, and quickly transferred the child to a trolley. It was clear to see that she was struggling to get air into her lungs, and a nurse started to give her oxygen through a mask.

‘She’s been saying her tummy hurts,’ the distressed mother said, ‘and she’s been sick a couple of times in the car. She’s getting a rash as well.’

They rushed her to the resuscitation room and the child’s mother hurried alongside the trolley, talking to her daughter the whole time, trying to soothe her.

‘Has Sarah had any problems with fainting before, or with similar symptoms?’ Matt asked.

‘She’s never fainted, but she does have asthma, and she had a bit of a reaction to peanuts once.’

‘Did she see her GP about the reaction?’

The woman shook her head. ‘It was quite mild, so we didn’t bother.’

‘All right, thanks,’ Matt said. ‘You can stay with us in Resus. The nurse will look after you—if you have any questions, anything at all, just ask her.’ He indicated Gina, who went to stand with the mother as they arrived in the resuscitation room.

It looked very much as though Sarah was having a reaction to something she’d eaten. Her face was swollen, along with her hands and feet. Saffi handed Matt an EpiPen, an automatic injector of adrenaline, and he smiled briefly, knowing she had intercepted his thoughts.

‘Thanks.’ He injected the little girl in the thigh, and Saffi handed him a syringe containing antihistamine, which he injected into the other leg. Then he began his examination, while a nurse worked quickly to connect the child to the monitors that gave readings of heart rate, blood pressure and blood oxygen. Everyone was worried about this little girl who was fighting for her life.

‘Blood pressure’s falling, heart rate rising. Blood oxygen is ninety per cent.’

‘Okay, let’s get a couple of lines in to bring her blood pressure up. I’ll intubate her before the swelling in her throat gets any worse. And we need to get her legs up to improve her circulation—but be careful, we don’t want to cause more breathing problems.’

After five minutes the child was still struggling with the anaphylactic shock. ‘I’ll give her another shot of adrenaline,’ Matt said, ‘along with a dose of steroid.’

The medication was already in Saffi’s hand and she quickly passed it to him. They had to work fast. This was a life-threatening condition and they had to do everything they could to bring down the swelling and restore her life signs to a safe level.

Matt looked concerned, anxious for this small child, but he followed the treatment protocol to the letter.

‘Her breathing’s still compromised,’ Saffi murmured. ‘Should we give her nebulised salbutamol via the ventilator circuit?’

‘Yes, go ahead. It should open up the air passages.’

A short while later they could finally relax and say that the child was out of immediate danger. They were all relieved, and Matt took time out to talk to the girl’s mother and explain the awful reaction that the girl had experienced.

‘We’ll send her to a specialist who will do tests,’ he said. ‘We need to know what caused this to happen. In the meantime, we’ll keep her here overnight and possibly a bit longer, to make sure that she’s all right. We’ll give you an EpiPen and show you how to use it so that you can inject Sarah yourself if anything like this happens again. You’ll need to bring her straight to Emergency.’

He took the woman to his office so that he could talk to her a bit more and answer any of her questions.

Saffi went home later that day, satisfied that she had managed a successful day at work. She felt elated, thrilled that she was back on form, workwise at least.

Matt came to find her in the garden the next day when she was getting ready to open up the beehives. She’d brought out the protective clothing and laid it down on the table in preparation.

‘Two new skills in one week,’ he said with a smile. ‘You’re really up for a challenge, aren’t you? You did really well yesterday. How did it feel to you, being back in a hospital?’

‘It was so good,’ she said, returning the smile. ‘Like you said, it felt as though I’d never been away. I remembered everything about medicine, and how much I love being a doctor, the way Jason said I did.’

His brows drew together at the mention of Jason. ‘How are you getting on with him?’ he asked cautiously. ‘Have you remembered how it was with you two before the accident?’

She shook her head. ‘From time to time I get flashbacks, of places we’ve been, or brief moments we’ve shared, the same as I do with You and me, when we were once together, but they’re so fleeting that I can’t hold onto them.’ Her glance met his. ‘You still don’t like him being here, do you?’

He winced. ‘It shows? I thought I was doing a pretty good job of hiding it.’ He moved his shoulders as though he was uncomfortable with the situation. ‘Of course, he’s been quite open about the fact that he wants you back, and I can scarcely blame him for that. You’re a special kind of woman, and who wouldn’t want to be with you? But I wish he’d stayed back in Hampshire.’

She studied him for a moment or two, frowning. ‘It’s more than that, isn’t it? You really don’t like him.’

‘I think it’s odd that he hasn’t come to find you before this. I would have moved heaven and earth to find you if I was in his shoes.’

His brow furrowed. ‘He’s putting pressure on you— subtle pressure, but it’s there all the same. He says you were practically engaged, but “practically” isn’t the same as having a ring actually on your finger, is it? I can’t help wondering if he’s exaggerating.’

‘Does that matter? Wouldn’t you do the same if you really cared about someone?’

‘I do care about someone—I care very deeply for
you
, Saffi. I’ve never felt this way before—you can’t imagine how badly it hurts to see you with someone else.’

She pressed her lips together. She didn’t want to hurt him. It grieved her to see the pain in his eyes, but she was torn. She loved Matt, deeply, intensely, but didn’t she owe Jason something, too?

To turn her back on him would be a betrayal. He would feel she hadn’t even given him a chance. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she desperately wanted Matt.

She lifted her arms to him, running her palms lightly over his chest. ‘Isn’t that a kind of pressure you’re using, too? I don’t want to see you hurting, Matt. That’s the last thing I want.’

He gave a ragged sigh, the last of his willpower disintegrating as her hands trailed a path over his chest and moved up to caress the line from his neck to his shoulders.

He pulled her to him and kissed her fiercely, all his pent-up desire burning in that passionate embrace. His hands smoothed over her, tracing every feminine curve, filling her with aching need.

She clung to him, her fingers tangling in the silk of his hair, loving the way his body merged with hers, the way his strong thighs moved against her, and longing for him to say to her the one thing she wanted to hear.

She wanted his love, needed it more than anything in the world, but would it ever be hers?

‘Saffi, I’m lost without you…What am I to do?’ His voice was rough around the edges and she could feel his heart thundering in his chest.

The sun beat down on them and she felt heady with longing, fever running through her as his hand cupped her breast and his thumb gently stroked the burgeoning nub. A quivery sigh escaped her, and she looked up at him, her gaze meshing with his. More than anything, she wanted to give in to her deepest desires, to have him make love to her without any thought for the consequences.

But she couldn’t do that. Not until she knew the truth about her past, about what had happened to spoil their relationship and send her headlong into Jason’s arms.

Slowly, she came down to earth, and began to gently ease herself away from him.

Even as she did so, a small voice called in the distance, ‘Uncle Matt, I finished my picture. Come and see.’

Matt gave a soft groan, releasing her and gazing at her with smoke-dark eyes full of regret.

‘We have to sort out this thing with Jason,’ he said huskily. ‘I’m not going to share you with any man, in body or in spirit.’

‘H
EY, YOU’VE BEEN
out and bought yourself a new car!’ Matt looked admiringly at Saffi’s gleaming silver MPV. ‘It looks great, doesn’t it?’

‘I’m pleased with it,’ Saffi said, glad that he liked her choice. ‘I need one so that I can get to and from work, so I went ahead and took the plunge yesterday.’

‘I wonder how I managed to miss that? You must have put it straight in the garage while I was busy with something else.’

‘Yes, I did. I was a bit overwhelmed by the time I ar- rived home—getting back behind the wheel and so on.’

Frowning, he put an arm around her. ‘I would have gone with you if you’d said. Did you have any problems finding what you wanted?’

She shook her head. ‘Actually, Jason went with me to the showroom.’

She felt Matt stiffen, and added hastily, ‘I didn’t have much choice in the matter. He came to see me and in- sisted on going along with me.’

‘How can he insist on anything? He’s not your keeper.’

She winced. ‘True. But I feel so guilty about forgetting him…I’m finding it hard to make him understand that I need some space.’

‘He’s playing on your emotions.’

‘Maybe. Anyway, he wasn’t too happy with my choice of car. He thought I should have gone for something smaller, but I like the flexibility of this one. You can fold down the seats to create more storage space. That might come in useful if I ever have to carry medical equipment around with me.’

He smiled. ‘Do you think you might want to try your hand at being an immediate care doctor?’

She chuckled. ‘Perhaps I’d better not try to run before I can walk. But you never know.’

‘Hmm.’ He sobered. ‘How does it feel to drive? I mean, you said you were a bit worried about it.’

‘It’s okay, I think. I didn’t actually have a problem bringing it home, anyway.’

‘That’s good. One more hurdle out of the way.’

‘Let’s hope so. I thought I could drive us to the vet’s with Mitzi after work today, if that’s all right with you? Unless you’d like me to go on my own?’

‘No, I’ll go with you. I want to hear what the vet has to say. It’s good to see other professionals at work, and it’s useful to get their advice. You never know when it might come in handy. Besides, I like spending time with you. You know I do.’ He frowned. ‘I’d do it a lot more if it wasn’t for Jason hanging around.’

He turned to go back into the house to get ready for work. ‘I’ll see you at the hospital in two ticks.’

‘Okay.’ She set off for the hospital, still smiling at what he’d said. He liked spending time with her. It made her feel warm inside.

They met up in A and E a short time later, and even though this was her first official day at work, everything went smoothly. She treated a child who had come in with a broken collarbone after playing football at school and a girl who had dislocated her shoulder in a fall. There was also a tricky diagnosis where a boy had fallen and felt disorientated…it turned out to be a case of epilepsy.

Matt left her to get on with things pretty much on her own, but she was aware he was keeping an eye on her all the while. He needn’t have worried, though, because she was absolutely sure of what she was doing, and after a while the whole team relaxed and treated her as one of themselves, as if she’d been there for years.

At lunchtime Matt disappeared, and she guessed he’d gone to check up on Gemma. She was having her surgery today, and although Matt had been as calm and as efficient as ever as he went about his work, she knew that he was worried about her.

When he returned to A and E after about half an hour, he said quietly, ‘Shall we go and get a coffee?’

‘That would be good. I’m ready for one.’ She walked with him to the staffroom. ‘How is Gemma?’

‘She’s still in Theatre, but everything’s going well so far. Her vital signs are okay, which is good.’ He fetched two coffees and they went to sit down. ‘James is in the waiting room. He’s in bad shape. He’s terrified something might go wrong.’

‘Whatever happened to break them up, it seems as though he really cares about her.’

He nodded. ‘I think he does. I’m fairly sure it’s his job that’s the trouble, because he’s away from home so often.’

‘Can’t he get some other kind of work?’

‘That would be the best answer, and I think he realises it now. He says he’s applying for posts close to home. His qualifications are good, so he shouldn’t have too much trouble finding something suitable.’

She sipped her coffee. ‘It’s been a scary time for both of you.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Even so, I envy you, having a family, having someone close. I sometimes wish I’d had a brother or a sister. My aunt wasn’t able to have children, so there weren’t even any cousins.’

He looked at her, his eyes widening a fraction. ‘Is that a new memory?’

‘Oh!’ She gave a laugh. ‘Yes, it was. Perhaps you were right about me coming back to work. It must be opening up new memory pathways.’

They went back to A and E a few minutes later, and Saffi became engrossed once more in treating her patients.

She left for home a few hours before Matt, and spent the afternoon getting on with chores. Jason had wanted to meet up with her, but she’d put him off as she needed to make a trip to the grocery store.

‘I could go with you,’ he’d said. ‘I just want to be with you.’

‘I know, Jason, but I’d sooner do this on my own. Anyway, I’m going to the hairdresser and then to the vet’s surgery later.’ She didn’t want to be with him for too long. She’d much rather be with Matt, and she suspected Jason knew that.

After Matt arrived home, she gave him time to grab a bite to eat and then she put Mitzi into a carrier ready for the journey to see the vet.

‘Is there any news of Gemma?’ she asked as they went over to her car. She slid into the driver’s seat and Matt climbed in beside her.

‘Well, she’s out of surgery and in Intensive Care. Her blood pressure’s very low and she’s had several bouts of arrhythmia—they’re obviously concerned. She’s in a lot of pain, too, so they’re giving her strong drugs.’

‘At least she came through it, Matt.’ She laid her hand on his arm. ‘She’s young, and that’s in her favour.’

‘Yeah, there is that.’ He breathed deeply. ‘And James is at her bedside. If she wakes up, she’ll see him right away.’

She started the engine. ‘Where’s Ben today?’

‘He’s with my mother. She’s staying at Gemma’s house so that he’s in familiar surroundings.’

‘That’s good. This is bound to be upsetting for him.’

A few minutes later she turned onto the tree-lined road where the vet’s surgery was situated. They didn’t have to wait long before they were called into his room and he examined Mitzi’s leg once more.

‘That seems to be healing up nicely,’ he said. ‘Sometimes the leg becomes crooked, but it looks as though she’s doing really well. I’ll give you some more antibiotics for the wound, and a few painkillers, although I think she probably won’t need them for too long.’

Mitzi’s ordeal was over in a few minutes and they put her in the carrier once more then went back to the car.

Saffi drove back to the village. There was a fair amount of traffic on the main road at this time of the evening, and she checked her rear-view mirror regularly along the way.

After a while, she noticed that a black car was edging into view, coming close up behind her. She frowned. Whoever was driving it had been following her for some time, getting nearer and nearer, and now she was beginning to feel uneasy. Because of the shadows she couldn’t see the driver’s face clearly, but seeing that car had sparked something in the darker regions of her mind. She was sure something like this had happened to her before, that she’d been followed along a busy road.

She indicated to turn off the main road, and breathed a soft sigh of relief as the black car made no signal to do the same. It had all been in her imagination. The car wasn’t following her. It was going straight on.

She drove onto the country lane, and after a while she glanced into her rear-view mirror once more. The car was there again, right behind her. She gripped the steering-wheel tightly. Her heart was thudding heavily.

‘Saffi, what’s wrong?’ Matt’s voice sounded urgent. ‘You’re as white as a sheet.’

‘I’m not sure,’ she managed, ‘but I think I’m being followed.’ She pulled in a shaky breath. ‘It’s probably nothing. It’s just that…’

She broke off, switching on her indicator and carefully bringing the car to a halt in a lay-by. Beads of sweat had broken out on her brow.

She looked in the mirror once more. The black car had slowed down, too, as though the driver was unsure of himself, but then at the last moment he pulled away and went on down the country lane.

Saffi leaned back in her seat and let the fear drain out of her. The image of that black car was imprinted on her mind.

‘Can you tell me what happened?’

‘I don’t know. Perhaps I made a mistake.’

‘You were frightened, Saffi. What was it that scared you? Is it because you were in a collision once before? Did it happen because someone was following you?’

She swallowed hard. ‘I think so. I can’t remember clearly. It was a dark-coloured car. Something happened…I think I was rammed from behind…then a man stepped out of the car and came over to me.’ She searched her mind for anything more, but the image faded and she couldn’t bring it back. ‘All I know is I was terrified.’

He undid his seat belt and leaned towards her, wrapping his arms around her. ‘No wonder you were scared. It would be a bad experience for anyone.’ He stroked her hair. ‘Did you report it to the police?’

She frowned. ‘I don’t think so. I don’t know what happened after he came over to me.’

They sat for a while with Matt holding her until her heart stopped thumping and she felt as though she could go on.

‘Would you like me to drive the rest of the way?’

She shook her head. ‘No, thanks. I’ll do it. I’ll be all right now.’ She wanted to stay in his arms, but at the same time she needed to overcome her fears. Slowly, she eased away from him.

He frowned. ‘Okay…if you’re sure.’ He fastened his seat belt once more and she started the car, driving cautiously until they arrived home.

‘If you want me to be a passenger in the car over the next few weeks until you’re over this, that’s fine by me,’ Matt said after she’d settled Mitzi back in her cage.

‘Thanks.’ She smiled at him. ‘I think I’ll be okay.’

Somehow knowing what it was that had caused her worries about driving was enough to ease her mind. Whatever had happened was in the past and not something that she need be concerned about now. It was like a weight off her mind, and it meant that when she drove to work the next day she was calm and the journey was uneventful.

‘You seem to have settled in here well,’ Gina said, as she assisted her with a young patient who needed sutures in a leg wound. ‘Are you getting to know your way around?’

‘I think so,’ Saffi answered. ‘Everyone’s been very helpful.’

‘Yes, I found that, too.’

‘Ah, of course—you came here just a few days before I started, didn’t you?’ She glanced at Gina, who was wearing her brown hair loose this morning, so that it fell in soft waves to the nape of her neck. ‘You’re covering for a maternity leave? What will you do when that contract finishes?’

‘I’ll go back to the community hospital. They let me do this as a way of gaining experience in other departments. The nursing chief is good like that. She thinks variety will make for better nursing, so she was willing to allow the transfer.’

‘She’s probably right.’

Saffi tied off the last suture and gave her small patient a smiley-face badge. ‘You were very brave,’ she said.

Gina stayed behind to clear the trolley while Saffi went off to examine a six-year-old who had breathing difficulties and a barking cough. The nurse seemed friendly, and she hadn’t anticipated that. She’d wondered if there might be some tension between them since Gina had dated Matt, but working with her had been much easier than she’d expected.

Matt had gone to see his sister before coming into A and E this morning, and Saffi busied herself going about her work. Whenever she had a brief free moment she thought about the dilemma she was in, and what she should do about Jason. He’d been easygoing, good company, and she could perhaps see some small reason why they might have been a couple before the accident that had blighted her life.

She didn’t have any feelings for him, though, and she was fairly certain that even if she were to spend several more weeks in his company she still wouldn’t feel anything for him. Was that because something inside her had changed after her head injury, or was it because she had fallen in love with Matt?

What could she say to him? He would be going back to Hampshire in less than a week and he was begging her to go with him.

And what should she do about Matt? Emotionally, she was totally bound up in him. He wanted her and they were good together, but there was no future in the relationship that she could see. Wasn’t she inviting heartache?

Matt walked briskly into A and E, breaking into her thoughts, and quickly glanced through the list of patients who were being treated. ‘Any problems so far?’ he asked, and the registrar shook his head.

‘It’s all under control.’

Saffi glanced at Matt, trying to gauge his mood. His expression was serious, and she wondered if everything was all right with his sister.

‘How is she?’ she asked.

His mouth flattened. ‘She’s feeling pretty awful at the moment. There are all sorts of tubes that have to be left in place for a while, as you know, and one of the insertion points is infected. They’ve taken swabs to find out what bacteria are involved, and put her on strong antibiotic cover in the meantime.’

‘I’m sorry.’

The triage nurse cut across everyone’s conversation just then, saying, ‘Red alert, people. We’ve a child coming in by ambulance. Suspected head injury after a fall on a path at home. Estimated arrival ten minutes.’

Everyone was immediately vigilant, ready to do their designated jobs.

When the boy, Danny, was brought into the resuscitation room, Saffi’s heart lurched. He was about the same age as Ben, and he looked so small and vulnerable, white-faced, his black hair stark against the pillows.