Read A Doctor to Remember Online
Authors: Joanna Neil
Ben kicked off his shoes and splashed in the waves that lapped at the shore, while Saffi kept a close eye on him, and then they walked back to the base of the cliff where he could dig in the sand.
She saw the surfers moving over the sea at a fast pace, some of them lifted up by the kites from the surface of the waves, skilfully controlling their movements and coming back down again to ride the water. The wind was getting up now, gusting fiercely, and she rummaged in her beach bag for a shirt for Ben.
‘Here, put this on. It’s getting a bit chilly out here.’
He stopped digging for a while to put on the shirt and then he gazed out at the sea. ‘I can’t see Uncle Matt,’ he said. ‘He’s too far away.’
‘There are two of them in black wetsuits…I’m not sure, but I think that might be him coming in to the—’ She broke off, clasping a hand to her mouth in horror as she saw one of the surfers lifted up by a sudden squall. Was it Matt? His kite billowed, the fierce wind dragging him swiftly towards the cliffside so that he was powerless to do anything to stop it. He was hurtling towards the craggy rock face at speed, and Saffi’s stomach turned over in sheer dread. As she watched, he hit the jagged rocks near the foot of the cliff and crumpled on to the sand below.
She saw it happen with a feeling of terror. Was it Matt? It couldn’t be Matt…she couldn’t bear it.
She sprang to her feet. ‘Ben, come with me,’ she said urgently. ‘That man’s hurt and I have to help him. We need to get the medical kit from the car.’
He didn’t argue but left his bucket and spade behind as they hurried up the cliff path to the car. ‘Is it Uncle Matt?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know, sweetheart.’ She rummaged in her bag for her phone and called for an ambulance.
‘Will you make him better?’
She gently squeezed his hand. ‘I’ll do everything I can. But you must stay with me, Ben. You can’t wander off. I need to know you’re safe. Promise me you’ll stay close by me.’
‘I promise.’
‘Good boy. It might not be very nice to see the man that’s hurt, so you’ll probably need to look away.’ Heaven forbid it should turn out to be Matt. She studied him. ‘Okay?’
He was solemn-faced, taking in the enormity of the situation. ‘Okay.’
She whipped open the boot of the car, thankful that Matt had left the keys with her. She pulled out the heavy medical backpack and the patient monitor and then locked up the car once more and hurried back down the path as fast as she could go, with Ben by her side.
They had to make their way carefully over rocks to get to the injured man and all the time she was praying that it wasn’t Matt who was lying there. Whoever it was, he was screaming with pain. A small crowd had gathered around him and she said, ‘Let me through, please. I’m a doctor.’
People moved aside and she saw that two lifeguards were already by the man’s side. One of them, whitefaced, said quietly, ‘His foot’s twisted round at an odd angle. It’s like it’s been partly sheared off.’
Saffi pulled in a quick breath. Not Matt, please don’t let it be Matt.
‘I’ll look at him,’ she said, shielding Ben from what was going on. ‘Would one of you keep an eye on the little boy for me?’ She glanced around. ‘Perhaps he’d be better over there, out of the way, but where I can still see him.’ She pointed to a sheltered place in the lee of the cliff where there was enough sand for him to dig with his hands.
‘Sure. I’ll do it.’
‘Thanks.’ She looked down at the kite-surfer and a surge of relief washed through her as she realised it wasn’t Matt lying there. It was his friend, Josh. She laid down her pack and knelt beside him.
‘Josh, I’m a doctor…I’m going to have a look at you and see if I can make you more comfortable before we get you to hospital. Okay?’
‘Okay.’ He clamped his jaw, trying to fight the pain, and Saffi went through her initial observations. The foot was purple, with no great blood loss, and he was able to wiggle the toes on his other foot, as well as move his leg.
She didn’t think there was any spinal injury but she needed to take precautions all the same, so she asked the lifeguard to help her put a cervical collar around Josh’s neck.
Josh’s pulse was very fast and his blood pressure was high, most likely because of the excruciating pain. That was going to make it difficult to move him. He might a doctor to remember also have other, internal injuries, so the best thing to do would be to administer pain relief.
She asked both lifeguards to help her. ‘I’m going to give him drugs to reduce the pain. As soon as I’ve given him the medication, we’ll have to carefully roll him on to his back and set him up with an oxygen mask. Are you all right with that?’
‘Yeah, that’s okay.’
She glanced at Ben to make sure he was staying put, and then prepared to go on with the procedure. Thankfully, it wasn’t likely that he could see much of what was going on, while three people were gathered around Josh. She made sure Josh was as comfortable as possible, looping the oxygen mask over his head.
There was a movement on the periphery of the crowd and she saw that Matt had gone to stand with Ben. She looked at him and he gave her a nod of support.
At the same time, the ambulance siren sounded in the distance, getting nearer.
‘Thanks for your help,’ she said to the lifeguards as she connected the oxygen cylinder to the tube. ‘One last thing…I need one of you to help me get his foot back into the proper position.’ If they didn’t do that, the circulation could fail and the foot would be useless.
One of the lifeguards hesitantly volunteered. ‘I don’t know what to do,’ he said.
‘It’ll be all right,’ she said, reassuring him. ‘I’ll talk you through it. We need to give it a tug.’
He swallowed hard, but a few minutes later the foot pinked up, and she could feel that the pulses were present.
She sat back on her heels. The paramedics would help with splinting the foot and getting Josh onto a spinal board. Her work was almost done.
Matt came over to her, holding Ben by the hand, as they transferred his friend to the ambulance a short time later. He’d rolled down the top half of his wetsuit and Saffi couldn’t take her eyes off him. He was hunky, perfectly muscled, his chest lightly bronzed. Her heart began to thump against her rib cage and her mouth went dry.
Together, they watched the ambulance move away, and as the crowd dwindled and people returned down the path to the beach Matt drew her to him, putting his free arm around her.
‘You were brilliant,’ he said. ‘I thought about coming over to you to help, but I could see you had everything under control, the whole time. You were amazing. How did it feel?’
‘Feel?’ She stared at him blankly for a moment, not understanding what he was saying, and then realisation came to her in a rush. Without any conscious thought she’d acted like a true A and E doctor.
‘I didn’t think about what I was doing,’ she said, her eyes widening. ‘All I know is I was terrified it might be you who was injured, and I was desperate to make sure you were all right. I couldn’t think beyond that. The adrenaline must have taken over.’
‘That’s my girl.’ He hugged her close and kissed her swiftly on the mouth.
His girl? Her heart leapt and she returned his kiss with equal passion, a fever beginning to burn inside her. How did he manage to do this to her every time, to make her want him more than anything, more than any other man?
Where had that thought come from? She didn’t re- member any other man in her life before this. There must have been, surely? But somehow she was certain that Matt was the one man above all who could stir her senses and turn her blood to flame.
Ben started tugging at Matt’s wetsuit. ‘Can we go down to the beach? I want to make another sandcastle.’
Matt gave a soft groan and reluctantly broke off the kiss. ‘Perhaps I should never have started that,’ he said raggedly. ‘Wrong place, wrong time.’ He frowned. ‘It’s always going to be like that, isn’t it?’ he added with a sigh. ‘I have to keep telling myself I must stay away, but when I’m with you it’s so hard to resist.’
And she should never have responded with such eagerness, Saffi reflected wryly. She knew what she was getting into, and going on his record so far it could only end in sorrow, so why couldn’t she keep her emotions firmly under lock and key?
‘H
AVE YOU THOUGHT
any more about going back to work in A and E?’ Matt asked. he’d popped home from the hospital to pick up his laptop, and Saffi was glad to see him, and even more pleased that he’d stopped to chat for a while. she missed him when he wasn’t around.
It was lunchtime and she was hosing down the chicken run, a chore she did once a week to make sure the birds’ living quarters were scrupulously clean. The hens were out on the grass, exploring the pellets of food she’d scattered about.
Matt seemed keen to know what she planned to do workwise, and she guessed it was because he cared enough to want her to be completely well again. Being able to do the job she’d trained for was a big part of that recovery process.
‘I think it would do you good to go back to working in a hospital,’ Matt said. ‘It could help to bring back some memories.’
She nodded. ‘I’ve been thinking the same thing. I’m just not sure I’d cope with the responsibility—what if I’ve forgotten some of the techniques I knew before?’
‘I know it would be a huge step for you after you’ve spent the last few months getting yourself back on track, but you did so well looking after Josh—I think you proved yourself then.’
‘Maybe.’ She was hesitant. Was she really ready for it? He seemed to have a lot of faith in her.
‘How is Josh?’ she asked, switching off the hose and laying it on the ground. ‘His foot was in a pretty bad state, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes, but he went up to Theatre and Andrew Simmons pinned it with plates and screws, and did a bone graft. It’ll take a while to heal, and he’ll need physiotherapy, but I think he’ll be all right eventually.’ He gave her a look of new respect. ‘You saved his foot, Saffi. If you hadn’t restored the circulation he could have been looking at an amputation.’
‘I’m just relieved that he’s all right.’ She was thoughtful for a second or two. ‘One thing I’ll say—it’s definitely put me off kite-surfing. Are you sure you want to go on doing it? I was worried sick when I thought you might have been hurt.’
‘Were you? I’m glad you care about me.’ He ran his hands down her arms in a light caress. ‘I understand how you feel about trying it out. That’s okay. And as for the other—I’m always careful to avoid going close to cliffs or rocks. You don’t need to worry about me.’
‘That’s a relief.’
He studied her briefly. ‘So what do you think about going back to work?’
‘I don’t know. Perhaps I could do it…but I always thought I would know when the time was right because I’d have recovered all of my memories. It doesn’t seem to be happening that way, though, does it?’
‘Amnesia can be strange,’ he murmured, ‘but, actually, you’ve been doing really well. You’ve remembered your aunt and your career, and all the time, day by day, you’re getting small flashes of recall. Perhaps by going back to your job things will begin to come back to you more and more.’ He shooed a hen out of the flower border, where she’d been trying to eat one of the plants. ‘Go on, Mitzi, back with the others.’
‘You could be right. I don’t know why it matters so much to me…but I feel…it’s like I’m only half a person.’ She looked at him in despair, and he took her into his arms.
‘I can’t bear to see you looking so forlorn,’ he said. ‘You mustn’t think like that—anyway, you look pretty much like a whole person to me,’ he added in a teasing voice. ‘So much so that I think about you all the time…I can’t get you out of my mind. You’re beautiful, Saffi…and incredibly sweet. Look how you coaxed Ben to come out of himself.’
He gave her a gentle squeeze, drawing her nearer, and his words came out on a ragged sigh. ‘It’s getting more and more difficult for me to keep my resolve. Every time I look at you I want to show you just how much I want you.’
Having his arms around her was a delicious temptation but she couldn’t give in to it, could she? Much as she wanted to believe every word he said, she had to make a strong effort to resist. At least, she had to do better than she’d managed up to now.
‘Hmm…’ She looked into his smoke-grey eyes. ‘From what I’ve heard, that’s what you say to all the girls.’
He pressed a hand to his heart as though she’d wounded him. ‘It’s not true. Would I do that? Would I?’
‘I think that’s open to debate,’ she murmured.
He gave her a crooked smile. ‘You’re gorgeous, Saffi, and that’s the truth, and I feel great whenever I’m with you. I have to keep pinching myself to believe that I’m actually living right next door to you.’
He was saying all the things she wanted to hear, but did she really want to end up as just another conquest? She couldn’t get it out of her head what the paramedics had said. He had a way with women.
‘You certainly do live next door—and that’s another thing about you that confuses me,’ she commented on a musing note, trying to ease herself away from him. ‘I still haven’t figured out why my aunt would leave part of the house to you. It doesn’t make any sense to leave a house to be shared by two people who aren’t related.’
She rubbed her fingers lightly over her temples in a circling motion to get rid of a throbbing ache that had started up there. Having him so close just added to her problems. She couldn’t think straight.
‘It’s just another of those mysteries that I can’t solve…’ she murmured, ‘but perhaps one day I’ll get to the bottom of it. At the moment my mind’s like a jigsaw puzzle with lots of little bits filled in.’
He became serious. ‘I’m sure things will come back to you if you start to live the life you once had. I mean it. Going back to work at the hospital could be the best thing for you. I need another doctor on my team, and you would be perfect. You could work part time if it suits you—in fact, that would probably be the best option to begin with.’
‘You need someone? You’re not just trying to find a job for me?’
‘We’re desperately short of emergency doctors. I’d really like you to say yes, Saffi, not just for me but also for your own well-being. We’ll get clearance for you to work again from the powers that be, and maybe arrange for someone to work with you for a while. I’d keep an eye on you to begin with until you get your confidence back.’
He looked so sincere she knew he would watch over her, and part-time work did seem like the ideal solution for her at the moment. It would give her the best of both worlds and allow her time to adjust.
She swallowed hard. ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ll do it.’
‘Yay!’ He swooped her up into his arms once again and kissed her firmly, a thorough, passionate kiss that left her breathless and yearning for more.
‘That’s wonderful, Saffi.’ He looked at her, his grey eyes gleaming, his mouth curved in a heart-warming smile. ‘We should celebrate. Let me take you out to dinner this evening.’
She smiled back at him. ‘I’d like that,’ she said, ‘except…’ she frowned ‘…I’m expecting a visitor at around nine o’clock. He’s bringing some stuff I left behind in Hampshire—a few books, my coffee-maker, glassware, things like that. My flatmate has been looking after them for me, but Jason offered to bring them here. Apparently he’s coming to Devon to take a few days’ holiday.’
Matt frowned. ‘Jason? You know this man? I thought you didn’t remember anyone from where you lived?’
‘No, I don’t know him. I mean, I did, apparently, according to my flatmate. She’s the only one I recalled after the accident, but even that was just bits and pieces that came back to me before I left Hampshire. Jason’s a complete blank in my mind.’
‘It seems odd that he’s coming over so late in the evening?’
‘I suppose it is, but he told Chloe He has to work today. He’ll head over here as soon as he’s finished.’
‘That makes some kind of sense, I suppose.’ He was still doubtful, a brooding look coming into his eyes as though he was already weighing up Jason as some kind of competition. His dark brows drew together. ‘He must be really keen to see you if it can’t wait till morning. Did your flatmate tell you anything about him?’
She could see he was suspicious of the man and his motives. ‘No, she didn’t, not really…not much, anyway. She mentioned something about us dating a few times. I remember he came to see me when I was in hospital, but I was getting distressed whenever I had visitors—they were all strangers to me and I was a bit overwhelmed by everything that was happening to me. I think the doctors advised her to let me remember things in my own time.’ A feeling of unease washed through her. ‘I feel bad about it…all those people I was supposed to know…’
‘It wasn’t your fault, Saffi.’ He held her tight. ‘Look, how about this—we could go for an early dinner. What do you think? I really want to spend some time with you. I’ll make sure you’re back here in time to meet up with this Jason…’ he pulled a face ‘…even though I’d rather you weren’t going to see him.’ His eyes darkened. ‘I don’t like the idea of him taking up where you left off.’ Once again, he was at war with himself. ‘I hate the thought of you dating someone else.’
‘I’m not dating him. I don’t even know him.’ She nodded thoughtfully. ‘An early dinner sounds like a good compromise. But what will you do about Ben…or will he be coming with us? I don’t mind, if that’s what you want.’
He shook his head. ‘His father’s going to look after him. He’s back from sorting out the latest crisis, and he says he’s going to stay home for a few days.’
‘Oh, that’s good news.’ She smiled. ‘Ben will be really happy to see him.’
‘Yeah. Let’s hope he doesn’t get unsettled again when James has to leave.’
She winced. ‘You’re right, he’s really come out of himself this last couple of weeks. Do you think James will take him to see Gemma in hospital?’
‘He said he would. He wants to know the results of the CT scan they’re doing.’
Of course…they would be doing the scan today. Matt had told her about it. He must be worried sick about what it might reveal.
He checked his watch. ‘I have to go. It’s almost time I was back on duty. I’ll see you later. Dinner for about seven o’clock? Would that be all right?’
She nodded. ‘I’ll look forward to it.’
‘Good. I’ll book a table.’
It was only after he’d left for work that she realised she’d done it again—that she’d agreed to spend time with him when she should be putting up some barriers between them. Did she really want to end up like Gina, still hankering after him years later, when their relationship had run its course? And how would she get on with Gina if they had to work together? Had she made a mistake in agreeing to it?
She shook her head. It was done now, and she may as well throw caution to the wind and look forward to the evening.
What should she wear? After she’d showered and started her make-up later on in the day, she hunted through her wardrobe and picked out a favourite winecoloured dress, one that she’d brought with her from Hampshire. It was sleeveless, with a V-shaped neckline and pleated bodice, a smooth sash waist and a pencilline skirt. She put the finishing touches to her makeup, smoothing on a warm lip colour and adding a hint of blusher to her cheeks.
When Matt rang the doorbell at half past six, she was finally ready.
‘Hi,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t sure you’d make it here on time. I know how things can be in A and E. It isn’t always easy to get away.’
‘I handed over to my registrar.’ He gazed at her, his eyes gleaming in appreciation as he took in her feminine curves, outlined by the dress, and her hair, which was a mass of silky, burnished curls. ‘You look lovely, Saffi. You take my breath away—you’re the girl of my dreams.’
Her cheeks flushed with warm colour at the compliment. He looked fantastic. He must have showered and changed as soon as he had got home from work because his black hair was still slightly damp. He wore an expensively styled suit that fitted perfectly across his broad shoulders and made him look incredibly masculine.
They went out to the car and he drove them along the coast road to the restaurant. He was unusually quiet on the journey, a bit subdued, and she wondered if something had happened at work to disturb him. Was it something to do with his sister? Or perhaps he was simply tired after a stressful day. She remembered feeling like that sometimes after a bad day at work.
It might not be a good idea to bombard him with questions right away, though. If he wanted to talk to her about whatever it was that was bothering him, he would be more likely to do it after he had relaxed into the evening a little.
He took her to a pretty quayside restaurant, and they sat at a table by the window, from where they could look out at the boats in the harbour.
‘It’s lovely in here,’ she said, looking around. ‘It’s very peaceful and intimate.’ There were screened alcoves with candlelit tables, a glass-fronted display cabinet showing mouth-watering desserts, and waiters who hovered discreetly in the background. ‘It makes me want to skip the meal and go straight for the dessert,’ she said, eying up the assortment of gateaux and fruit tarts.
He laughed. ‘You always did go for the dessert.’
‘Did I?’ Her brow puckered. ‘Have we done this before?’
He nodded cautiously. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he said. ‘Just relax and enjoy the food.’
She tried to do as he suggested, but at the back of her mind she was trying to work out why, if they had been a couple at one time, they had drifted apart, with her working in Hampshire and Matt here in Devon. What wasn’t he telling her?
Through the starter of freshly dressed crab served with asparagus spears and mayonnaise they talked about her starting work in a week’s time, and then moved on to generalities, but Matt said nothing about what might be troubling him. They chatted and she could tell he was making an effort, being as considerate and thoughtful as ever.
He ordered a bottle of wine, and Saffi took a sip, studying him as the waiter brought the main course, sirloin of beef with red wine sauce. ‘You’re not yourself this evening,’ she said softly, when they were alone once more. ‘What’s wrong?’
He blinked, and then frowned slightly. He wasn’t eating, but instead he ran his finger around the base of his wine glass. ‘I’m sorry. It’s nothing. I’m just a bit preoccupied, that’s all, but I didn’t mean to spoil the evening.’ He smiled at her. ‘You were saying you were thinking of buying a new car?’