A Fallow Heart (24 page)

She settled her cheek on her kneecap to study him from a sidelong glance. “You’re quite the philosopher, Cooper Gerhardt.” She liked that about him; it made her ache on a whole different level.

If her sister were here, she’d say,
seize the moment and grab yourself a handful of hunky farm boy
. But Jo Ellen couldn’t be like that. She just couldn’t. Disappointed with herself, she blew out a breath and announced, “Let’s change the subject.”

Cooper’s lips tipped with amusement. “Okay. Fine. Tell me about Dallas. What’s your job like?”

She smiled. This she could talk about without any sore feelings. After boring him with the everyday monotony of what she did, she decided to detail the more exciting moments…which suddenly didn’t seem so exciting to her ears when she spoke them aloud.

“The biggest catastrophe I avoided happened at a retirement party. They wanted the
Gone Fishin’
theme, so the punch bowl was actually a twenty-gallon fish tank with this huge ice-sculpture trout floating in the blue-colored punch.”

Cooper sputtered out a laugh. “You’re kidding me?”

She shook her head. “No, sir. And yes, it was as tacky as it sounds, but they loved it. The caterer was so proud of his punch recipe, he bragged about it to the retiree just before the party began. So of course, every member of the family wanted to taste a sample. But when his five-year-old grandson leaned over the tank, he threw up because he’d been stealing too many cream-cheese mints—which had all been made in the shape of little fish, mind you.”

“Ah, shit,” Cooper breathed. Then he slapped his hand over his mouth. “Excuse the language,” he added before lowering his hand and demanding, “So what’d you do?”

“Well…” She breathed out a large breath and grinned. “Thankfully, the punch bowl sat on a rolling table, so we rolled it out of the room where a couple of my workers drained and cleaned it. But unfortunately, since it held twenty gallons of liquid, the caterer didn’t have another batch to pour in. So, I dashed to the grocery store down the street, bought them out of all their blue Hawaiian punch and lemon lime pop and high tailed it back to the party. After sending everyone out of the room so they didn’t know what a cheap concoction I used, I dumped the mixture into the tank and threw away my evidence of empty plastic bottles into the dumpsters outside.”

Tickled to find Cooper watching her avidly as he listened to her story, she almost sighed with delight, glad he wasn’t bored out of his gourd.

“Did you get the punch to the party in time?” he asked.

She straightened her back with pride. “Of course. And everyone complimented its taste. The caterer even asked me for the recipe at the end of the night, thinking it was some big, fancy blend like his.”

Cooper chuckled. “And you gave it to him, I suspect.”

Lips tightening with the ecstatic smile that wanted to burst across her face, Jo Ellen winked. “No, I did not.”

This time, his husky chuckle turned into a full laugh. “Good for you.” He shifted her way to bump his shoulder lightly against hers in congratulations. As he did, something plopped onto the surface of the sleeping bag between them.

Jo Ellen glanced down and caught a shadow of its shape—possibly a piece of folded paper—and reached for it. She began to pick it up before she even realized what it was. “Oh, here. You dropped…” She gulped when she focused on not just one but two condoms in her hand. “…this.”

Two
?

Cooper cleared his throat and blushed, quickly snagging them from her. “Sorry, they must’ve fallen out. Sorry,” he repeated, sounding utterly humiliated.

Jo Ellen could only stare. Two? He’d come out here with
two
condoms.

Heat boiled in her belly. When she saw a third foil package peeking out the top of his pocket, her eyes flared. “Oh my God! How many did you
bring
?”

He shoved all three out of sight. Shifting uncomfortably away from her, he mumbled, “I don’t know. I just grabbed and started stuffing my pockets.”

Her mouth fell open. “Did you…did you say pockets, plural, as in
both
are full?”

He opened his mouth, the expression on his face revealing a man who felt caught, as if anything he said would be wrong. “I…I’m sorry. I—”

She cut him off, curious. “Well, let’s count them.” Her lips quirked with amusement. “I want to know how many you have on you.”

He hesitated, confused. “Jo Ellen—”

She snapped her fingers. “Don’t you dare chicken out on me. Now fess up, Gerhardt. Empty your pockets.”

Clearing his throat, he dutifully drug everything out —even a small ball of lint. Jo Ellen tortured him even more by counting aloud when each new package appeared. And as the number grew higher, her voice grew raspier.

“Seven,” she hoarsely proclaimed when the last envelope plopped onto the hayloft floor between them. She drew her gaze away from them to send a curious glance at their owner.

He looked too guilty to meet her stare. For some reason, it emboldened her.

“My goodness. Were you planning on using
all
of these tonight?”

He sniffed out an amused snuffle and finally lifted his gaze. “Of course not. I just…” With a hefty gulp, he glanced away. “I’m sorry.” His quiet, humble apology echoed through the loft.

She wrinkled her brow. “Why are you sorry? I’m actually…flattered.”

His gaze veered back to her, his lashes flaring apart. “You
are
?”

She blushed. “Of course. It’s undeniable proof of how much you really wanted to be with me.”
More than once
.

His eyebrows crinkled. “Hell yes, I wanted to be with you. How could you doubt
that
?”

She could doubt it because it seemed too good to be true. But it
was
true. And that truth made her want, want so bad she didn’t care what happened afterward. One time, she told herself, one taste of that overwhelming chemistry he stirred within her, and she knew she’d be good. Hoped so, anyway.

Suddenly, she couldn’t recall why she’d been so resistant before. All she processed was the ache in his eyes and the hoarse honesty in his voice mixed with her own rising needs.

I was crazy in love with you
.

A full-body shiver consumed her. Had anyone ever been crazy in love with her before? She wanted to experience it in every way possible. She wanted someone crazy in love with her to touch her, to hold her, just for one night, even if that love had happened ten years ago.

She wanted to feel what Emma Leigh felt when she was with Bran.

“You know…” Idly picking up one of the seven foil pouches, she twirled it between her fingers, unable to believe what she was considering…what she’d already decided. “I’ve found the things I’ve regretted most in my life are the things I wanted to do but never had the courage to try. And I’m beginning to think I don’t want you to become one of my what-if-I’d-only-tried-it regrets.”

Hope filled his face. His mouth moved, and he looked about as affected as she felt. “So…?” he pressed, urging her to come right out and tell him what she wanted.

“So…” She held up the condom. “Let’s not let your trip to the house go to waste.” When she tore open the package, Cooper physically quaked. “Make love to me tonight, Cooper.” Heart lurching into her throat because she couldn’t believe she was actually doing this, Jo Ellen extended the opened foil to him. “Please.”

A huge breath shuddered from his lungs. “Are you sure? Earlier, you said—”

She didn’t want him to repeat what she’d said, otherwise she might start experiencing all those doubts again. She shook her head savagely. “Do we have to think about that right now?”

The expression on his face said, yes, they needed to consider every reservation she had. But instead of being the typical gentleman and forcing her to step back away from the heat brewing between them to think logically, he jerked his head back and forth on an uncertain shake.

“No. We don’t have to think about it right now. But you do have to be absolutely certain you want this. You’re not allowed to regret it afterward.”

“I’m absolutely certain. I want this. I want you. And I won’t regret it.”

Without questioning her again, he took the condom from her hand and set it aside so he could return to her and gather her into his arms. When he pressed his forehead to hers, simply holding her. Jo Ellen relished the sensation.

“You can back out at any time.”

He rocked back and forth with her until she whispered, “I won’t.”

“Then you better not.” With a groan, he set his mouth against hers.

Backing out was the last thing on her mind when his tongue traced the seam of her lips. She opened for him and little explosions of anticipation ignited in her belly.

Between kisses, he stripped her, one piece of clothing at a time. Jo Ellen held her breath once he got her down to her underwear. As his fingers brushed the straps of her bra off her shoulders, she lowered her chin, uncertain. What if he didn’t like what he saw?

He dipped his face down to kiss her throat, just under her jaw, forcing her head back up. All the while, he unhooked the back clasp and slid the frilly lace away.

She smiled, amused by his playful tactic to keep her from growing timid. She wanted to touch him, but still didn’t have the nerve, so she buried her fingers into the cloth of the sleeping bag under her and lay down when he urged her onto her back.

Cooper caught her wrist when she tried to cover her exposed breasts.

When she glanced at him, he grinned, the twinkle in his eye mischievous. “You’re not going to deny me a glimpse of heaven, are you?”

When she settled, letting him gaze upon her unrestricted, he leaned down and licked a pert nipple. She gurgled out a cry of shock. Chuckling, he moved his attention to the second breast and gave it a single quick lick as well. Jo Ellen shivered when her body tightened with need.

Cooper eased her torment by taking one into his mouth. Jo Ellen dug the heels of her bare feet into the sleeping bag under her. Her fingers found the crown of his soft hair as he moved to her other breast.

When she didn’t think she could take any more of his oral assault, he moved on, sliding south, over her abdomen, across her naval and to the waistband of her panties. He toyed with the lacy elastic band, letting his tongue flick at the soft flesh just above. But he didn’t remove the cloth. Instead, he lowered his face to the apex of her thighs.

Startled, she tried to close her legs, but he caught one with a large palm, staying her gently, and buried his nose in the juncture of her panties.

Her eyes flew open as his hot breath fanned her through the damp material. Her mouth worked but no sound emerged. Trying again, she barely got out his name “Coo…Cooper.”

“Hmm?” he asked.

“Wha…!” Her back arched off the hayloft floor. “What’re you…?”

“I’m inhaling heaven,” he finally answered, lifting his face to grin at her. Then he closed his eyes and his nostrils flared as he drew in a deep breath. “Nothing smells better.”

Her mouth fell open as she watched him grasp her panties and peel them off. She thought she’d be even shyer as he exposed her, but the awe on his face as he unwrapped her completely overrode any timidity she’d feared. He looked pleased to take in every inch.

“Jo Ellen,” he breathed her name, his lashes fluttering closed as he once again lowered his face. “My God.”

She tensed, excited to feel him there again. But instead of simply smelling her, he brushed the stubble on his jaw against the inner, tender part of her thigh, like a cat rubbing against its owner’s leg. Shivering from the experience, she nearly jolted out of her skin when he next flicked out his tongue, tasting her in the most intimate place she had.

A sound rose from her, full of needy demand. He answered it by stroking her again and opening her legs wider. Her body grew restless, her head began to thrash, and her breathing lost all semblance of order and calm.

With both hands planted in his hair, she unconsciously undulated to the rhythm he set and moaned until her keen became a cry. Reaching her peak, she rolled on a wave of pleasure. It claimed her for longer than she thought possible, and Cooper was right there to urge her through it.

As her body drifted from her high, she realized he was crawling out of his jeans. He sat up and ripped his shirt over his head. Jo Ellen gulped, remembering him dunking his head under the water pump earlier.

Had that only been hours ago? When she’d been spying on him, never would she have guessed she’d get an up-close-and-detailed second viewing before the night was over.

Not for the first time, she wanted to reach out and touch him, but wasn’t sure if she could. Would he mind? She bit her lip as he peeled down his boxers. What sprang from between his legs made her eyes bulge.

Oh, dear.

Her breathing chopped faster from her lungs. Maybe this whole sex idea wasn’t such a good idea after all. Travis wedging himself into her had been uncomfortable enough. But Cooper seemed twice as big. No way would he fit.