A Family for Christmas (14 page)

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Doctor Martinez is good and you
’ll
like him
.
I promise this is the last doctor you will have to see for a while.”

He hugged her tight. “
Okay. C
an we open presents now?” Jack laughed and ruffled Sammy’s hair. They were so much alike that at times it was like looking at a photo.

“You ask too many questions. Come on, Rachel. We’ve tortured the poor boy long enough.”

Sammy was so happy to have a father again that he willingly listened to whatever Jack told him without arguing.

He bounded into the great room and grabbed the first gift. When Rachel would have followed, Jack caught her hand.

“No, ma’am. You stay here with me.” Sammy glanced back over his shoulder at them, annoyed at being forced to wait.

“Jack, he’ll see you,” she whispered as Jack pulled her down into his lap and kissed her.

“And that’s a bad thing?” He smiled
at her
.

“He’s not used to seeing me with someone.” Too
late,
she realized that she’d just given away all sorts of things she didn’t want him to know.

“Good, I’m thrilled to hear it. Having one guy in your past is hard enough to think about. And Sammy will be fine. He’s a kid. He’ll get used to this in no time. But he’ll need to be told the truth and soon. I want him to know he’s my son.”

“Jack...”

“I’m sorry, baby, but I insist.” He kissed her again and all she could think about was how much she’d missed him. How much she loved him still and how much she’d never be free from that love.

She hated the doubts that kept her from trusting him but she couldn’t seem to control them. She stumbled to her feet and faced him again.

It took all of her strength to keep her voice low enough for Sammy not to hear. “So that’s it. The real reason behind last night. It had nothing to do with me, did it, Jack. The only reason you’re with me now is because of Sammy. You want your son.”

Jack slowly got out of his chair and pulled her against him, anger replacing the
love
she’d seen in his beautiful blue eyes.

“How can you say that to me after last night? How can you still think that? I know I’ve hurt you in the past, but you have to believe I thought I was doing what was best for you. Don’t you understand that yet? Leaving you was the last thing I wanted to do. But you were so young back then. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I thought if I gave you some space, more time, you’d come back to me on your own. The minute I found out you were gone I thought I would lose my mind. I tried to find you, but Liz and Michael refused to tell me where you’d gone. Michael wouldn’t talk to me about you—he still won’t. Liz told me I needed to be patient.”

“That’s not true.” She was crying again. She brushed angrily at the tears. For five years, she’d believed Jack had walked away from her without a second thought. But what if that hadn’t been the case?

“Rachel, it is true. If you don’t believe me, ask Michael. He knows the truth. When he and your mother wouldn’t tell me where you’d gone, I was all set to hire a private investigator to find you, but Michael talked me out of it.”

“He wouldn’t do that. He knew how much I loved you.”

“Maybe he really believed that you needed time, maybe he thought we both did. I don’t know. I only know that I never stopped loving you or thinking about you. Never gave up hope, even when I couldn’t bear to be without you. I never stopped loving you.”

“Momma, are you crying?” They hadn’t heard Sammy come back into the room. Rachel pulled away from Jack and he let her go. She scrubbed her face then tried to reassure her son.

“I’m okay
, honey
. We were just talking. It’s okay.”

Sammy didn’t seem convinced
. “
Really
?”

She knelt in front of him and smiled. “Yes, I’m positive. Are you ready to open your presents?”

She silently
pleaded with Jack to let the conversation go for the moment. Now was not the time to have this talk. Not when their emotions were both still far too raw.

He nodded at last. “Why don’t you show us what you’ve managed to open so far?”

After another second of hesitation, Sammy forgot his worries. “Can we, Mom?” Two sets of eyes looked to her for answers.

It took everything for her to push aside the doubts, but she did it for Sammy’s sake. She took her son’s tiny hand in hers.

“Yes. Yes, let’s see what Santa brought you
.
”

For the rest of the morning, they watched as Sammy ripped into his presents with more enthusiasm than she’d seen in quite some time. By the time the last gift was opened, there was a pile of wrapping paper and an assortment of toys lying around the room.

Sammy ran to them and hugged them both. “This is the best Christmas ever
.
”

“Did you get everything you wanted, honey?” she asked when he put his arms around her neck and came willingly into her lap like he used to when he was still a baby.

“Uh huh. What about you, Momma?” She smiled and nodded then turned to Jack. “What about you, Daddy?”

The expression in his blue eyes took her breath away.

“Oh yes. I have everything I’ll ever want or need again.”

“Baby, why don’t you show your father how that car works? I need to start dinner.”

What she really needed was time alone. She went to her room and closed the door quietly then sat down on the bed and tried to stop the shivering. She needed to think. She’d just found out that everything she believed to be true about the past, all of the pain and heartache she’d carried in her heart for so long, had all been a mistake. Jack had wanted to find her.

She didn’t know what to do with all the pain and anger she’d carried around for so many years now that there wasn’t anyone to blame
except herself
.

She heard a soft tap on the door and waited.

“Are you okay?” Jack came and sat next to her.

She nodded and
he took
her hand and held
it.

“I know that this isn’t the best time to talk about this, but I think we need to. We have to clear up the past between us.”

“For Sammy, you mean?”

“For us
, Rachel
.
For us.
I don’t want there to be any more misunderstandings between us.”

She sighed deeply.
“I’m sorry. I know what you mean
t
. It’s just so hard.
Jack,
I thought you didn’t want me.”

He pulled Rachel closer and kissed her temple. “Never. I never stopped wanting you. Rachel, there’s been no other woman in my life in all these years. Doesn’t that say something?”

Somehow, she forced herself to search his face. Suddenly she wanted to believe Jack more than anything else in the world.

“Yes. I want to believe you. I do.”

“Then that’s all I can ask. I know it will take time for you to trust me completely. But I’m not going anywhere. And I hope that you won’t either.”

All she could do was nod and pray that she wasn’t making the worst mistake of her life in trusting Jack again.

“Come on. I left Sammy practically bouncing off the walls with happiness. He’ll be wrapped up with his presents for a while. Why don’t you let me help you with dinner?”

Chapter Eleven 

Jack tried to help with the meal, but Sammy kept demanding his attention. In the end, Rachel shooed them both off to the great room to play so that she could finish up.

“Momma, you should see how it climbs mountains
.
” Sammy ran into the kitchen with Jack close behind. “It’s terrific, isn’t it, Daddy.”

“It sure is.” Jack stopped behind her and pulled her close. “Something smells good,” he whispered against her ear. It was hard not to respond to his touch, but she was still unsure of him, and uncomfortable with showing affection in front of Sammy.

“Jack...” The shaky catch in her voice rewarded her with a
chuckle
.

“Relax. He’ll get used to seeing me touch you if you don’t get all nervous around him.” Jack kissed her neck, then let her go.

They spent the rest of the day watching old movies on TV until it was late.

“You should probably pack some things for you and Sammy. I’ve arranged for us to fly out first thing in the morning.”

“Yippee
.
We’re flying.” Sammy was thrilled to be taking his first trip on a plane. Rachel found herself feeling a little overwhelmed by everything that had happened in their lives in such a short amount of time.

“How did you manage to get a flight out so quickly?” She said the first thing that came to mind, sounding foolish. But she needed time. Everything was happening so fast.

“I didn’t. I’m having the corporate jet pick us up in Denver tomorrow at ten. We’ll be home tomorrow afternoon. Which should give you and Sammy time to get settled in. I thought we could call your mother when we arrive and maybe have dinner with her, Michael, and Molly if everyone’s up to it. What do you think?”

She couldn’t tell him she didn’t know how to face her family after discovering the truth.

“That sounds nice. And you’re right. I should pack.” She got to her feet but he grabbed her hand.

“They were only doing what they thought was best for you. Don’t be angry with them.”

She left Sammy and Jack watching Scrooge on TV and went to pack, starting with Sammy’s things first.

She sat down on his bed and tried to decide what to take with them. Would they be coming back here soon? She was still sitting on the bed staring off into space when Jack found her.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m just wondering what to take with us.”

Jack came and sat next to her. “Rachel, honey, we’re moving back to Austin. You and Sammy will be living in my --
our
home. We won’t be coming back here for a while. You need to take what you feel you want with you. We can always do some shopping for what you need when we get home.”

“What about New York? Will you be going back there? And if you do, where does that leave Sammy and me?”

Jack closed his eyes then put his arm around her.

“I’m not going back to New York. I’m going to be staying in Austin with you and our son. We’re a family now.”

After Sammy was sleeping, she found herself nervous again.

“Please trust me. I’m never going to do anything to hurt you again.”

*****

The next morning passed in a flurry of dressing, getting breakfast, and packing everything into the truck for the trip to Denver.

Sammy insisted on taking all of his new toys, which Jack willingly agreed to.

“We’ll make room for them on the plane.”

After the rush to get everything turned off and secured for the winter was over, she took a moment to look at the house where she’d spent so many years.

“Are you okay?” She turned to look into Jack’s blue eyes.

“Yes, it’s just that so much has happened here. This is where Sammy was born. Where Sam died.”

“I know it must be hard.” He touched her face gently. “But we have the rest of our lives to make new memories together. And I promise we’ll come back. We’ll make it a point to spend time here with Sammy. I won’t let him forget Sam.”

*****

The jet arrived in Austin just before noon. Jack had thought ahead and left his car at the airport. Somehow, they managed to get everything loaded into the Rover with just enough room for Sammy in the back seat.

Sammy had barely been able to contain his excitement through the flight. Now, his eyes were huge with wonder and he couldn’t stop the questions.

“Where are we going, Daddy?”

“We’re going to our house. This is where I grew up.”

“Does your dad still live there?”

Jack glanced at Rachel. She’d been quiet throughout most of the trip. He knew how hard this must be for her.

“My father passed away a few years ago.”

“Like my daddy?” Rachel’s gaze met his. There was no way he could hide his reaction to Sammy’s innocent question.

“Honey, why don’t you ask your father to tell you about the time he and Uncle Michael got in trouble for picking peaches from the neighbor’s tree?”

He loved her for trying to lighten the moment. “I can’t believe you still remember that. And as I remember it, we were over there in the first place because you had your heart set on having a peach.”

Sammy was only too happy to hear all about the time the three of them had been left to their own devices one summer day.

Normally, Rachel’s mom wouldn’t have dreamed of leaving her alone with only her older brother and his best friend to look out for her, but she’d been in a pinch and the girl that normally kept Rachel had been taken to the hospital with appendicitis.