A Family for Christmas (7 page)

“No. Oh, no, Amanda. That’s never going to happen. One mistake in a lifetime is plenty, trust me.”

“Uh huh. Did you forget who you’re talking to? We may not be as close as we were in the past, but I still remember how crazy you were for Jack. You don’t get over that kind of love, Rachel. I don’t care how far you move or who you marry. You and Jack were a couple for a long time, and you were in love with him even longer. I’d say you still are, if the way you looked at him yesterday is any indication.”

“Amanda, I don’t…I can’t talk about this right now.”

“Well, maybe you’d better. From the way he was looking at Sammy, I’d say he knows the truth.”

It took so long for Rachel to try
to
answer that Amanda guessed the reason.

“He does, doesn’t he? Did he confront you with it?”

“Oh yes, last night after Sammy went to bed.”

“After Sammy went to bed? How did he—”

“We spent the evening together. Jack insisted on taking us to dinner and then to the Trail of Lights display. For a little while, I thought...Amanda, I’m such an idiot. I should have known he didn’t really want to spend time with me. It was all about Sammy. He wanted to be sure.”

“
W
hat happened?”

“Mostly we argued.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t bear the thought of losing Sammy, but you know how much money and power the Bryant’s have always had. If it comes to it, I don’t stand a chance.”

Amanda seemed to choose her words carefully. “I can’t see Jack being vindictive, but maybe it’s time to try and salvage what is left of your friendship with Jack and sit down and just explain things to him.”

“I can’t. I can’t even think about him and not feel so much resentment for how he treated me in the past.”

After a moment of silence, Amanda added, “I hate to be the voice of reason, but I don’t think you have a choice anymore, do you? Jack’s entitled to be a part of his son’s life. You have to let him in. I know it will be hard but you don’t have a choice. And Sammy needs him in his life.”

“And what if he wants to take Sammy away? I don’t think I could bear to lose my son.” Rachel couldn’t keep the fear from showing in her voice.

“Rachel, Jack’s not a monster. I’m sure you two can work something out. Give him time. He’s still in shock right now. I’m sure the last thing he was expecting to find was that he has been a father all these years. It has to be a shock.”

“I hope you’re right. Amanda, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For listening. For not judging me.”

“You’re my friend and I care about you. Try not to worry. These things always have a way of working out. We’ll talk more later, okay?”

Rachel hung up, feeling slightly better than she had a few hours earlier. At least she had someone else on her side.

No matter how much her mother and Michael cared about her and understood her pain, Rachel knew they both
believed,
she should have told Jack about Sammy years ago.

“Momma, I finished up everything on my plate. Can we put up Gran’s tree now?”

Somehow, she managed to let go of her misgivings for the moment. She smiled down at her son. “Sure. Right after I take a shower.”

“Ah, Mom.” Sammy turned and sulked back into the kitchen. The way he walked, his mannerisms, all became mounting evidence of Jack’s paternity. She’d seen that same pout on Jack’s face whenever he didn’t get something he wanted.

“I’ll only be a minute, I promise.”

Rachel showered and dressed as quickly as possible, trying not to prolong Sammy’s grief any longer than necessary.

As she headed for the living room, she heard Sammy talking to someone.

Rachel hurried down the hall. Sammy was far too trusting, even though she’d warned him about talking to strangers. But in the country, there wasn’t much danger to be concerned about. This wasn’t the country.

Rachel rounded the corner and found Michael sitting next to Sammy on the floor in front of the hall closet. Liz’s old Christmas tree and decorations lay scattered around them.

“Sammy, I thought you were going to wait for my help.” She wasn’t really surprised that he hadn’t. Sammy was as strong willed as they came. Just like...she dismissed that thought in an instant. She was sick of comparing her son to Jack.

Michael got to his feet and gave her a hug. “Sorry, Rach. I walked in just as he was reaching for the tree. I kinda helped out a little.”

Rachel shook her head and smiled at her brother. Michael was just a big kid at heart. Still, she had to wonder what would bring Michael here at this time of the morning when normally he would be heading into the office.

“Honey, why don’t you untangle the lights for us? Michael, you want some coffee?”

Her brother recognized her attempt to keep Sammy out of whatever bad news she knew he had come to bring her.

“Sure, coffee sounds terrific. Good luck with those lights, sport.”

Sammy simply grinned up from his task of digging through boxes of decorations.

“That’ll keep him busy for hours.”

Rachel poured two cups of coffee. “So what’s up?” She tried to sound casual, but failed miserably.

“Jack came to see me last night.”

Her hand shook, spilling coffee onto the counter. Michael didn’t miss a thing.

“When?”

“Does it really matter? How did he know I was even here, Michael? Did you tell him?”

Michael took the coffee cup from her hand before she could spill it as well. “Of course not, but I’d say someone definitely did. It was no accident that Jack showed up here in Austin. He knew you’d be here. Did you tell anyone about coming here?”

“No, only you, and Mom and Amanda.”

“Do you think Amanda tipped him off?”

Rachel considered the possibility for only a second before dismissing it. “No, Amanda would never do that.”

“Well, someone definitely did. And he’s furious with you. What happened last night?”

“Nothing—”

“Don’t give me that. I know he confronted you about Sammy because he told me so.”

“Then you know what happened,” she told Michael wearily.

“Rach, for crying out loud, accept the inevitable. You have to find a way to tell Sammy the truth before this goes any further and he ends up getting hurt. Or worse, hating you for keeping him from his father.” Michael kept his voice low, for Sammy’s sake.

She flinched at her brother’s directness. Michael hadn’t deliberately wanted to hurt her, only to force her into facing the truth. “What did Jack tell you?”

“This doesn’t have to be a battle between the two of you, but you have to accept the fact that you didn’t do the right thing by Jack or by Sammy. This is your chance to set things right. It’s time, don’t you think? Jack is Sammy’s father and he needs to be part of his son’s life. And you have to allow that.”

“Michael, you know how Jack is. He won’t settle for just being with Sammy on the occasional weekend and holiday. He’ll want full custody. How can I fight that?”

“I don’t know. I just know if you keep avoiding this, that’s exactly what he’ll go after. You need to sit down and talk to him. It’s the only way you’ll ever get this sorted out.”

She couldn’t think about seeing Jack again. “How can I tell Sammy that the man he knew as his father really wasn’t his father but someone he just met is? How can I do that to him now when he’s sick?”

“
H
e’ll adjust. Who knows, he might actually enjoy having Jack for a father. I think the real question is
,
how are you going to come to terms with this?”

She’d thought of little else since seeing Jack again. “I don’t know.” She shook her head. “Michael, what am I going to do?”

“You’re going to try and put the anger and resentment you feel for Jack aside and think about Sammy’s welfare. That’s all that you can do, little sister.”

Chapter Five

After Michael helped them put the tree together
he left for work
. Sammy was happily unpacking all of the old ornaments that Liz had saved through the years. Some had been around since Liz was a little girl.

Her son was so into what he was doing that he didn’t seem to notice how distracted his mother had become.

In her head, Rachel knew that what Michael had told her was the right thing to do, but her heart still couldn’t go along with the plan. It took everything inside of her not to pack up her son and run again.

“Momma, what’s this?” Rachel glanced up to see Sammy holding the old snowman ornament she’d made in second grade. The plaster was chipping and the paint had faded, but she could still remember how excited she’d been to bring it home to her mother. Of course, Liz had acted as if it was the best gift ever.

At the time, Rachel hadn’t realized how hard their life had been. She barely remembered their father. She’d been perhaps Sammy’s age, maybe a little younger, when Michael Sr. passed away. Liz had raised both children on her own when money was tight. She knew how hard it was to be a single parent, and exactly how great a loss her daughter experienced with Sam’s death.

Rachel took the snowman from Sammy’s hand and held it gently. Emotions she never thought she’d feel welled up inside of her.

“I can’t believe your grandmother kept this. I made it for her when I was in second grade.”

“
D
id you used to make stuff for Gran just like I do for you?”

“I sure did. You grandmother was always getting some kind of little homemade trinket from Michael or later from me.”

“Momma, why can’t we live here with Gran and Nikkie? She has lots of room.”

Rachel stopped untangling the silver garland and stared at her son. This was the first time Sammy had ever expressed the desire to leave Colorado.

“Because our home is in Colorado.” She knelt in front of him. “Sammy, would you like to live here with Gran?” she asked, almost hesitantly. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear his answer. Sammy confirmed her fears with a slight shake of his head.

“I like it here, Momma. I like being with Gran and Uncle Michael. I like his friend, and Amanda and Jason. If we lived here, I could play with Jason all the time.”

“Honey, you’ll make friends back home, you know. You’ll be starting school soon. There are lots of children your age around.”

“But I like it here, Momma. Why can’t we live here?” Those solemn eyes had a way of making her want to do whatever he asked. This time she couldn’t give in.

“Because we have our own home and own life back in Colorado.”

She turned away from the unhappiness in her son’s eyes and tried to focus on untangling the garland while fighting back tears.

It hurt to consider her son wasn’t happy with it being just the two of them anymore. Sammy was growing up. She’d had him to herself for a long time. Soon, he’d be going off to school and she’d be alone.

Once the tree was decorated and they’d put up the rest of Liz’s decorations, Sammy could barely wait to go to Jason’s. Since the day was unseasonably warm for December, she and Sammy decided to walk the short distance to Amanda’s house.

Along the way, Rachel pointed out all the little places she and Michael had played at over the years, leaving out the parts about Jack even though he’d been there with them through every adventure.

“Over there’s where your uncle first met his fiancé Molly, although he doesn’t remember it. Gran told me Molly’s parents used to live in that yellow house right there. Gran tells the story the best, but she said when Michael was about six he disappeared on her one day. She looked everywhere and finally found him sitting on the swing set behind that house, holding Molly’s hand. Gran said she knew right then and there that Molly was the one for Michael. Of course he’ll deny it to the bitter end, but it’s true.” The sound of Sammy’s happy giggles had the power to wipe away any trace of darkness from her day.

“Momma, how did you and Daddy meet?”

Rachel glanced down at her son whose attention was focused on a small dog in the fenced yard where Molly’s parents use to live.

She’d told Sammy the story of how she and Sam had met at least a hundred times. He knew it by heart and could recite it back to her. So why all of the sudden did he want to hear it again? Was it just her Michael story or was there something more?

“
W
hy do you ask?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno.” Something in his manner made her wonder if maybe he’d overheard some part of her earlier conversation with Michael.

“Honey, you remember your father, don’t you?”

The sight of her son shaking his head tore at her heart. She felt as if she were losing so much of Sam. So many of the moments they shared together were slowly slipping away. She couldn’t stand the thought of Sammy forgetting his father.

“You know he loved you very much. He was so proud of you.”

For the longest time, Sammy didn’t say a word. She prayed that her son would forgive her when the moment came to tell him about Jack.