A Father's Promise (15 page)

The sight tore at his heart.

He sent up another prayer for wisdom, then knocked lightly on the door.

She grabbed a tissue and dabbed her eyes, then said, “Can I help you?”

As her eyes met his, her face lost all color, her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

Then, as if a shutter fell across her features, her expression shifted, erasing any vestige of the emotion he had just seen on her face.

“What are you doing here?”

Her question came out in a rush of confusion.

Zach found himself unable to speak. Seeing Renee sitting there, looking at the picture of him and Tricia with such stark emotion, melted the ice that had encased his heart the past few days. His father was right. She was withholding some vital piece of evidence.

“We need to talk.”

She picked up the crumpled tissue that lay at her elbow and swiped at her eyes. “There’s not much to say.”

He decided to push forward. “Tell me what you meant when you said you couldn’t be the kind of mother Tricia needed. What kind of mother do you think she needs?”

Renee’s mouth was set in a stubborn line, and for a moment Zach didn’t think she was going to answer him.

“Can we go for a walk to the river?” he asked. He didn’t want to sit here in the store, in her territory, so to speak. They needed to find neutral ground.

“I don’t know.” She glanced at his shoes as if to find a reason to say no.

He held up his foot, showing her the worn cowboy boots he’d started wearing. “You’re wearing running shoes and capris. You should be okay.”

To his surprise she gave him a careful smile, then, thankfully, she nodded. “I’ll just lock up, and we can go out the back door.”

“The front door is locked already.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” She led him out the back door and into the bright sunshine.

They walked down the alley, then the street leading away from Main Street and toward the river that flowed through town.

A light breeze blew through her hair as they walked. Each step eased the tension in Zach’s shoulders.

“How’s your mother?” he asked finally, needing to ease them into some kind of conversation.

“I haven’t seen her this happy in years.” She gave him a cautious smile. “How about your dad?”

“Ditto,” Zach said.

They turned a corner and walked down a narrow road toward the park that ran along the river. Renee turned off the road onto a path that beckoned through trees.

“I’ve never been here,” Zach said.

“You’ll just have to trust me not to lead you wrong.”

Zach was quiet a moment. “That’s probably been part of my problem,” he said.

“What do you mean?” Renee asked.

He slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans, glancing sidelong at her, disconcerted to see her watching him. “I didn’t trust our relationship enough,” he said. “Not enough to tell Tricia about us.”

They turned another corner, and Zach heard the river spilling over rocks.

“You had your reasons,” she said as she pushed aside some branches and then stepped onto a gravel bar that ran along the river.

“But she’s your daughter, too, and I was getting confused about where we fit in your life. Everything kept blurring together.”

Renee laughed. “Life isn’t like that. You don’t make compartments. Tricia here, me there, you there. Relationships are like a web, intricate and connected. You are her father, and, yes, she’s my daughter, but our relationship is...was—” She stopped there, uncertainty entering her voice.

“I’m hoping for ‘is,’” Zach finished for her.

She said nothing, her hands swinging loosely beside her as she walked to a large log beached on the gravel bar. For a moment he thought he had truly managed to mess things up for good between them.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “I’m sorry about what I said. About you giving up on Tricia. That was wrong. I was afraid and I wanted to be in control of the situation.”

Renee sat on the log, lowering her head, her hair falling around her face. Was she crying again? He caught her chin under his hand, lifting her face to his. Though he saw pain on there, her eyes were dry.

“Enough dancing around,” he said. “Why did you tell me you couldn’t be what Tricia needed? What
I
needed?”

Renee held his gaze a moment, then gently pulled her head away, looking up at the mountains surrounding the town. “You can see the Shadow Woman” was all she said.

Zach frowned, but looked where she was pointing. And he saw her clearly this time.

Then Renee lowered her hand, picked up a rock and, with a flick of her wrist, sent it skipping a couple of times over the surface of the water.

“It was what Tricia said to me,” she finally replied.

“What did she say? When?” Zach’s confusion only grew at her cryptic answer.

“She came to the store that day before I called you. She was upset and crying. One of her friends had told her that her biological mother must not have loved her and that’s why she gave Tricia up. Tricia was upset, understandably, and she told me that she hated her biological mother.”

Zach sucked in a quick breath, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders, tightening their grip as if protecting her. “Why would she say that?”

“I couldn’t separate what she said from me. And I couldn’t be in a relationship with you, knowing that Tricia, the person you love more than life itself, thought that way about me.”

“She wasn’t talking about you, Renee Albertson. She was talking about her unknown mother. Not you.”

“But I was the one who walked away from her, as you said.”

Zach winced. “I’m so sorry I said that. I didn’t know Tricia had said that to you. Besides, what choice did you have? You were all alone. Your mother was sick, and she couldn’t have helped you.”

“Lots of young mothers don’t have help,” she said in a choked voice. “They manage somehow.”

“But your mother needed you, too. You couldn’t do both, and you weren’t going to do a halfway job of taking care of Tricia. You are the kind of person who is either all in or all out. You have done amazing things for your mother. That store you have—I don’t know many daughters who can work with their mother half as well as you do. That’s not just guilt that’s motivating you—that’s a genuine and true love for your mother that I admire.”

Renee looked up at him, her eyes alight with a wonder that gave him hope. “You sound like you’re defending me.”

He let his grip loosen, his hands lightly caressing her arms. “Maybe I am defending you. You didn’t walk out on Tricia. I was speaking from a place of hurt and anger. Molly put me through the wringer with her cheating, and I wasn’t going to allow myself to go through that again.”

“What are you talking about?”

Zach bent over and picked up a handful of rocks, tossing them one at a time into the river that flowed past as he struggled to find the right words to explain his life to her.

“That scrapbook you made for Tricia—it was a way of me helping her get through her grief at losing Molly, but it was also a way to sugarcoat a relationship that had never been good.”

The rocks fell into the river with faint plops, sending up a light spray of water.

“But the pictures? The trips?” Renee sounded puzzled. “Molly seemed like such a perfect mother. I spent hours trying not to compare myself to her.”

“You are nothing like her.”

“What are you saying?”

Zach tossed the last of his rocks into the river, creating another spray that was just as quickly erased by the relentless movement of the water.

He gave Renee a wistful smile. “There’s Scrapbook Molly and then there’s Real Molly. After Molly died, Tricia was so heartbroken. I thought the scrapbook would be a way of honoring Tricia’s memories of Molly. True or not.”

“You had some wonderful memories. All those trips. All those things you did for her.” Renee’s voice grew wistful. “Things I knew I could never have given to her.”

Zach took her hand in his, tracing the line of her fingers, trying to connect with her, reassure her. “Those trips and birthdays and Christmases make a good scrapbook, but not a good life. Molly was unhappy and difficult to live with. She was an erratic mother at best, and an unfaithful wife. When she was killed in that accident, I felt so incredibly guilty. We were planning to separate, and after Molly died, I was thankful Tricia didn’t have to go through that trauma. Tricia grieved Molly, as any daughter would her mother.” He looked up at her, hoping she understood. “But Molly wasn’t the mother portrayed in that scrapbook Tricia treasures so much.”

Zach touched her face, letting his fingers run down the line of her cheek. “You’ve showed more consistent mothering to her than Molly ever did. You have a way with her that I don’t. I know sometimes it seemed like I resented what you did with her, but that was because I was trying to keep Tricia to myself.”

“And you were right to do so.”

“Maybe at one time, but not anymore. You’ve become an important part of my life. I haven’t been very happy without you.”

Renee was silent, and for a moment he thought maybe he had truly messed things up.

“I know I was wrong to keep you at arm’s length,” he continued, pressing his case. “I was foolishly trying to protect myself. I’m so sorry I said what I did.”

Renee shook her head, and when she cupped his face he felt the tension that had been gripping him ease. Did he still have a chance with her?

“You were just being a good father, and that makes me admire and...care for you even more. Yes, she’s my daughter, but you are also the man...the man I love.”

Zach’s heart faltered. Had she truly said that?

He pulled her close, lowered his head to hers, and as their lips met, he felt as if they were meant to be together. Always.

She pulled back, a look of amazement on her face. “I’ve had my own struggles,” she said. “And I think...I didn’t think I was allowed to be so happy. However, you’ve made me feel like all the decisions in my life, all the missteps, were worth it if it brought you into my life.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t given Tricia up all those years ago.”

Renee’s eyes grew wide with wonder, and she laughed aloud.

Then she threw her arms around Zach and returned his kiss.

“I want to go pick up Tricia from school,” Zach said. “Together. I want to tell her about us.”

He saw a tear slide down Renee’s cheek.

“And when we do that, I want to tell her that you are her mother.”

He saw hesitation on Renee’s face, and he gave her another quick kiss of consolation. “It will be fine,” he assured her. “She loves you, Renee Albertson.” He gave her an assuring smile.

“Okay, then,” she said with a breathless voice. “Let’s do it.”

He nodded, then got up and took her hand, pulling her to her feet. Then together they walked away.

Epilogue

“D
elicious. Simply delicious,” Arlan said, wiping his mouth with a napkin and leaning away from a table still full of Parmesan-coated chicken breasts, stuffed potatoes, avocado-and-spinach salad and glazed baby carrots.

All made by Renee and her mother.

“I was going to say that,” Zach protested, reaching beside him and squeezing Renee’s hand. “If we eat like this every day, I’m going to have to go to the gym more often.”

Renee’s happiness bubbled over into a smile that had been a permanent feature for the past week.

Ever since she and Zach had walked down to the river.

“I’m glad you could come” was all she said.

“Wouldn’t have missed it.” Then, without a hint of self-consciousness, Zach leaned over and kissed her.

“Can we have dessert now?” Tricia said, fairly bouncing on her chair, her happiness as contagious as Renee’s.

“Did you make it?” Renee asked with a grin.

Tricia shook her head. “We bought it at the bakery, and it’s a special, special cake for my special, special mom.” She gave Renee a self-conscious smile. “That’s you.”

Renee’s old pain deep within her faded away at the sound of those words on her daughter’s lips. When she and Zach had told Tricia that Renee was her biological mother, the little girl had stared at Renee, dumbfounded. She hadn’t expected the young girl to throw herself into Renee’s arms at the revelation. She knew it would take time for Tricia to adjust, but she had been oddly tolerant about the entire episode.

Today, however, she was brimming with excitement.

“Let’s go get it,” Zach said, pushing himself away from the table.

Renee heard giggling, then a warning from Zach. The snick of something and then a sizzling.

What on earth?

The door of the bedroom creaked open, and then Tricia appeared with a cake with a sizzling sparkler in its middle.

She had a solemn look on her face as she walked toward the table, Zach behind her, guiding her.

“Is it your birthday?” Arlan asked, obviously as mystified as Renee was.

Renee shook her head as Tricia set the cake on the table in front of her. Then Tricia looked up at her father, who nodded.

Tricia cleared her throat, then held her hand out to her father. Together they both dropped down on one knee, each holding their other hand out to Renee.

She took Tricia’s hand in one hand and Zach’s in the other, completing the circle.

Then Zach and Tricia said together, “Renee, will you marry us?”

Renee could only stare, as the five simple words registered in her brain.

Then her eyes tingled, and her happiness burst out in a flood of tears.

“Yes. Oh, yes,” she choked out through the tears.

“I thought she would be happy,” Tricia whispered to Zach.

“She is,” Zach whispered back.

Then Renee leaned forward and gathered them in a three-way hug.

“I love you. Love you so much,” she said.

“We love you, too,” Tricia said, flinging her arms around Renee’s neck. Renee closed her eyes, holding the little girl close.

Zach managed to drop a kiss on Renee’s mouth.

Then he reached over and lifted the sparkler from the cake. At its base lay a gold ring with a sparkling diamond.

“It still has frosting on it,” he grumbled with a frown, but Renee held out her hand, and he slipped it on, leaving a trail of white icing.

The diamond sparkled on her hand, and Renee felt tears threaten again.

“This calls for a toast and a blessing,” Arlan said in a choked voice. He stood smiling down at the three of them, raising a glass with one hand, his other clinging to Brenda’s, who was watching the scene, her own eyes shining with tears.

“May God bless you and keep you,” he said. “May His light shine on you, and may you live your life as a family that serves and loves Him.”

A family.

Renee looked over at Zach, then at her daughter, and leaned into Zach’s embrace.

“We’re a family,” she whispered in awe.

“I love the sound of that,” Zach replied. Then he kissed her again.

A family, together at last.

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt from
North Country Hero
by Lois Richer.