A Flicker of Light (35 page)

Berlin

W

hen Petra’s opened her eyes,
Siegland
let out a hoarse cry, “Look, she is alive!”

“Petra, can you hear me? It’s Erna, your nurse. I am here with you. Your aunt is here too, and so is Doctor Fiedler. You have a beautiful little daughter. Do you want to see her?”

Petra nodded, and then whispered, “Yes. Oh, yes.”

Nurse Erna helped Petra sit up by propping pillows behind her. Her arms felt weak, but she reached out as
Siegland
placed the baby on her breast.

“Let us give you some privacy. I will go and prepare some food for you. You need to build up your strength.” The nurse smiled at Petra, then looked over at the doctor. “Come
,
Dr. Fiedler, you must be tired. Let me get you something to eat.”

The two walked outside the hospital room. “Erik, I am so proud of you.” She touched the collar on his jacket. “You
saved that woman’s life - and the baby’s too.” Erna gently pulled the doctor’s tie, pulling him down to her, and pressed her lips to his. Just as she did, the lights in the room came back on. They walked to the window together and looked out. The sky was charcoal gray. Flames no longer threatened, but there was smoke in the air and buildings lay in broken piles of concrete.  A large group of soldiers carrying a Russian flag marched through the square. They looked battle worn and tired, but they held the flag high and shouted with pride.

Erna turned to Erik, “The war is over.”

“Thank God, darling. We have
waited so long to be rid of these
Nazi
s
.”

In the hospital room, Petra cradled her newborn child. With trembling fingers, she took the small blanket from the baby’s head. Then she looked over at
Siegland
, “Oh, my God, she looks just like Aaron.”

“Yes
,
she does.”

“She is beautiful, isn’t she?”

“Yes, Petra, she is so beautiful.”

“She is like a flicker of light in the darkness, a glimmer of hope for the future,” Nurse Erma said as she watched from the doorway.

“Mama, let’s call her Hope.”

“Hope is a good name. Hope will be your name, little one.”
Siegland
smiled down into the tiny, red, wrinkled f
ace,
“You will bring hope to the world, child.”

O

utside the hospital walls, the Allies marched into Berlin. Adolph Hitler had gone down to his bunker with his long-time paramour Eva Braun several weeks prior. Knowing that his beloved Reich stood shaking on the brink of destruction, he’d taken all of his colleagues with him and instructed those who were able to leave Germany. Plans for the end went into effect when it became apparent that Germany would lose the war.

Hitler knew he would never be able to leave Germany. His greatest fear was to be arrested and tried. Refusing to be taken alive, he brought poison with him into his bunker. The previous day, he’d tested it on his most beloved German shepherd. The dog had died instantly, proving that the cyanide was effective. That same day Adolph Hitler married Eva Braun. On the following morning, he gave his new wife a cyanide capsule, which she swallowed. Then he swallowed a pill himself.  Adolph Hitler, the great and terrible Fuehrer, the instigator of the Nazi movement, was dead.

Many of the SS stole away to the far reaches of the globe to avoid capture, mainly to South America, along with their dreams of recreating the Third Reich one day. Himmler was captured alive. He committed suicide while in custody.

When the Allies liberated the camps, they told the world what they saw. They told the world about the shock and revulsion they felt as they walked past piles of dead skeletal bodies, showers turned into deadly gas chambers, the crematoriums, and the horrific living conditions the prisoners had been forced to endure. The survivors, who were now free, but alone and homeless, began searching for their displaced loved ones. Some still search today.

The Forest
Outside
Munich

N

ews of Germany’s loss of the war had not yet reached the Partisans, though. Weeks had passed since any of the group had been able to secure any batteries for the radio. Consequently, they had not received the word.

One morning as Lil left the cabin to go outside and relieve herself, someone grabbed her around the neck from behind. The German soldier, a blond man with a scruffy, unshaved face, held her close. The smell of an unwashed body permeated the air. He threw Lil to the ground. Caught unaware
s
, and held too tightly to move, she tried to scream, but he stifled her voice as he forced his hand over her mouth. She tried to bite him
,
but
he shoved his hand deep between her teeth, immobilizing her mouth. Then, holding a knife to her throat, he pulled her pants down. He could not remember the last time he’d had a woman, and his body trembled with need as he looked at this young girl. With one hand he pulled down his zipper.
As he did, for just a moment, his hand let the knife fall away from her skin. In a split second, she jumped to her feet. The soldier reached up, pulling her leg and forced her back down. She let out a scream for help. Then
,
to silence her, he
placed the knife under her chin,
“The next time you scream will be the last. I will kill you. Shut up!”

Lil tasted bile rising in her throat. She tried to turn to the side and heave, but he held her head tightly. She swallowed hard as the vomit slid back down. Once again the vomit rose stronger than before. She tried to s
wallow, but more shot up into
her throat.

The soldier ripped off her pants and shoved himself between her legs, his hot breath heavy with excitement. He entered her with a violent thrust. She felt as if her body would split in two. A rush of warm
,
wet liquid soaked her thighs as the blood stained the soldier’s manhood and the grass beneath them. She closed her eyes so she could not see the cruel face above her. But she could not avoid the stink of his breath. Choking on her own vomit, she gagged. The liquid kept coming up from her stomach. She could not swallow it fast enough and it flowed into her windpipe. She gasped for breath, coughing as she tried to clear her airway. Lights sparked behind her eyelids. Then she could not see or feel him anymore. The coughing ceased. A peace
came over Lilly. Her mother stood before her. Then her father joined her mother. They reached out their hands, and she grasped them.
She heard her father say,
“Lilly, it has been so long. We have missed you so much.” Then her mother’s hand moved in a gentle motion upon her brow, soothing her. Lilly had come home at last.

Berlin

T

o everyone’s surprise, the Allies showed respect and kindness to the hospital personnel. They also helped Petra and
Siegland
return to the farm. The women rode together in an open army jeep with Hope wrapped in a blanket in
Siegland’s
arms.

“Mama, I am so glad we are going home. I just wish Papa and Aaron were here with us.”

“Now that the war is over, you will stay with me. Please?”
Siegland
asked.

“Of course, Mama.
You are my mother, and this is my home. I will at some time go to see my family, to tell my parents and brothers what happened. But of course, you will come with me. I will not leave you.”

“Do you think Klaus will be at the farm waiting for us?’

“I hope so Mama.”

Chapter
5
5

The Forest
Outside
Munich

O

ne of the Gypsy women took a basket from the hook on the wall of the cabin and went out to gather mushrooms. Just a few yards away, she came upon Lilly’s body. She screamed for the others when she saw the girl naked from the waist down, and covered in blood. Aaron came with the rest of the group. When he saw what had occurred, he fell to his knees on the hard ground. Tears flowed freely from his eyes as he looked down at the child who lay dead. She would never live to see the love he had promised she would find. Instead, she had met a tragic end at the hands of a monster. Why had he not heard her cries?

“Don’t blame yourself, Aaron. It’s not your fault. None of us heard her. None of us knew.” Karl said as he patted Aaron’s back.

“That son of a bitch.
I’m going to find him and kill him if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Why go hunting for trouble? The Allies are coming any day now. If you go and find this man, you will probably find he is armed. You are risking death.”

“I don’t care. I must do this.” Aaron said.

Aaron took a small pistol and set out, following the tracks that the soldier’s boots had left in the dirt.

Near Munich

W

hen Klaus did not come home,
Siegland
and Petra knew that he must be dead. They continued asking, but there was no information about him. Mercifully,
Siegland
never found out how he died. At one point, Petra left baby Hope with
Siegland
and traveled alone to Munich to see if any information had become available on either Klaus or Aaron. She went to the courthouse looking for records, but the entire town hung suspended in a state of disarray. Displaced persons from Dachau wandered the streets. Petra knew them instantly by their thin bodies and jutting cheekbones. Many were still dressed in the striped uniforms they had worn in the concentration camp.

The Red Cross set up an office in an attempt to reunite families. People crowded the office, and the line stretched around the corner just to see an assistant, but Petra waited. After an entire morning
,
and half the afternoon, at long last, she sat before one of the aides. Together, they
scanned through all of the names looking for Klaus or Aaron, but found nothing. There was no record of them at Dachau or any of the other camps. Neither had registered as a displaced person in search of family. The men had quite simply vanished. After several days of fruitless probing, Petra returned to the farm.

Petra held
Siegland
as the older woman sobbed. She felt as if her heart had been ripped from her body. Little Hope heard the sounds and wailed from her tiny crib that Klaus had so lovingly built for little Hans. They did not want to accept the fact, but both Petra and
Siegland
knew in their hearts that it was unlikely that either Klaus or Aaron would ever return.

Siegland
fou
nd joy in Hope. The baby would grip
her gnarled old finger with her own tiny fist, and
Siegland’s
heavy heart
would feel
lighter. The baby gave the old woman a reason to go on.

The two women worked the farm together, milking the cow and caring for the horse. Both of the animals had survived, thanks to the help of a neighbor. They found the cellar empty and wiped clean of all of their stored rations, but the food Petra and Aaron had buried was still there. The neighbors shared what little food they could spare. One couple who lived down the road gave them a
few
chicken
s and a rooster,
so they would have eggs.
F
or now, they got by, but when planting season came it would be difficult for a young mother and an old woman to lay seed and work the land. Now that the
reichsmarks
had lost all their value, they were without currency. But thanks to the eggs, milk and what little they had left of the supplies, they managed.

Often Petra thought of Aaron. She felt sure he had perished in the forest. She was glad that his name had not appeared on the list from Dachau. Although the Red Cross volunteer had told her the list was probably incomplete, she preferred to believe he had never been there. At night
,
as the baby and
Siegland
lay fast asleep, she spoke to him.

“Aaron Where are you? If you are dead, I pray that you hear me. I love you. I will go to my grave loving you. No other man will ever own my heart. As a girl, when I thought I loved Hans, I didn’t know what it meant to love another person. But with you, Aaron, it was real; our relationship held everything love should offer. I wish you could see our child. She is beautiful. She looks like you. Can you believe it? A half-Jewish baby, born in a German hospital, right in Berlin, at the same time as Hitler died? Mama and I named her Hope, because she is our hope for the future. She came into this world just as the Allies
invaded. Her birth brought with it a new world. Imagine, Aaron, a place without the hatred and evil of the Nazis. I will raise her to know her Jewish heritage, and I will never stop telling her about her father. I will tell her how you loved me, about your kind and compassionate nature. Most importantly, I will tell her how much you would have loved her.” The tears poured from her eyes, filling her face. Emotion closed her throat, and she could not speak anymore.