A Flower’s Shade (18 page)

Miss Yu was listening absentmindedly. Naixiang was her older brother. As a representative of the clan he had been seated in the center of the Great Hall, even though he was an invalid. Huaifu, too, was sitting decorously at the side. Next to him was Zhushan Uncle, the general planner of the event, and he too was listening earnestly to Seventh Grandfather's words. When Seventh Grandfather had concluded his dry remarks, no one spoke. Zhushan Uncle didn't want the atmosphere to be too serious and so he criticized Huaifu, "This matter is your fault, too. You're the only man who can take charge of things on the whole Estate, but you've become as addled as they are. The matter of your cousin's marriage ought to have been the very first thing to address. You really need to take this matter to heart."

Huaifu solemnly nodded. Miss Yu smiled at him, and his face suddenly flushed a deep red. Zhushan Uncle smiled and said, "Why are you blushing? You're not one of the suitors today." Everyone laughed at that.

Soon it was time for the suitors. Miss Yu concealed herself in the Mystery Chambers. The Mystery Chambers were now a place where she often practiced her calligraphy, since the many rubbings that Old Master Zhen had collected were all kept there. Compared to the time before her father's death, Miss Yu was no longer quite as diligent in practicing her calligraphy. From her regular calligraphy, it seemed that her teacher Kang Tuo had picked up on this. "People always learn the surface of great calligraphy, but there is no easy way to learn the essence of it. There's a heavy touch of the worldly in these characters of yours." Kang Tuo had once very rudely pointed out an imperfection in one of her works. This worldliness of which he spoke, to put it plainly, was lustfulness. Miss Yu was aware of the real reason for moving her calligraphy practice to the Mystery Chambers. In fact, it was so she could try to make sense of the erotic pictures her father had left behind in the Mystery Chambers.

The suitors were trickling in now. The newcomers didn't know that Miss Yu was standing at her window in the Mystery Chambers, was looking at them like she might look at a diorama, gazing with excitement at every man who crossed the courtyard. Everyone collected in the Great Hall, sat down and drank tea, so that Miss Yu could have a good look at them all. Zhushan Uncle, giving as a pretext that he had some things to say which were only for the ears of the elders, banished all the young suitors into the center of the open courtyard.

More or less unconsciously, the men in the courtyard were all assessing their competitors. Naturally, it would not have occurred to them in their wildest dreams that in the nearby little building, Miss Yu was feasting her eyes on them. Looking at these dull, ridiculous suitors amused her endlessly. It really was a glad day for her. As an old maid whose youth had been wasted, she felt that she really was viciously letting off some of her resentment.

Huaifu walked through the courtyard and, passing under the eyes of the many suitors, walked up into the Mystery Chambers. He walked up to stand at Miss Yu's side, and said sourly, "The Zhushan Uncle asked me to come up and ask you whether you saw anyone you liked." Miss Yu continued to look down among them with an air of mischief. Huaifu repeated his question, but Miss Yu laughed: "What's your rush? Let me have a look first. Huaifu, what do you think of the foolish one there." Huaifu saw that her finger was pointing at a short-sighted fellow in a gown of blue cloth, looking about with hesitation, nervous as a thief. "Cousin, Zhushan Uncle is waiting for your answer," Huaifu said, failing to suppress his jealousy. "Seventh Grandfather also said that this was like something the emperors used to do for their daughters to find husbands, but there was nothing that could be done about it now. Cousin, you have to take some kind of position."

"Take a position?" Very well, then I'll go down now and take a position." Miss Yu said and turned to descend the stairs.

Huaifu anxiously blocked her path, "It'll be best, cousin, if you stay hidden…"

"What's there to hide from?" Miss Yu said, walking down the stairs and casually into the courtyard, saying, not without a smirk, "Have all these people taken a fancy to an old maid like me?"

T
he public courting of Miss Yu became a locally famous joke. Even without this, her marriage had been a focus of interest, but now it again became a source of endless speculation. Miss Yu seemed to have no regard for what people would think of her. Just like her dead father, or her invalid brother Naixiang, she was endowed with a natural confidence which disregarded the general views of propriety. The fact that so many suitors had come made Miss Yu feel even more self-important. Let them all look at her with fear. So many years had already been wasted. What did a few extra days matter?

In fact, as a woman, Miss Yu had not realized that she was presently handling matters according to male rules. Perhaps she wanted to make womankind proud, but no one had ever taught her to behave like a woman. The rules of womanhood did not exist for her. She held the power in the Estate, and the only behavior she could model herself after was that of her father and her brother Naixiang. She had read no books on virtuous wives and good mothers. She had simply transposed her father's and brother's way of treating women for use on men. Having read The Plum in the Golden Vase many times, she rather hoped she would become something like the playboy protagonist of that novel. Purely instinctively, Miss Yu knew that men would not like her behavior. Women had not appreciated the behavior of her father and of Naixiang, and men would suffer even worse when treated as concubines. Thus, as regarded the question of what kind of man should be picked to join the Estate as her husband—Miss Yu didn't have a clue. Miss Yu's plans for the future were permeated by illusion. But in terms of a specific plan for her future, that was something she herself couldn't say; in any event she wanted to be the mistress of the Estate forever. She wanted to lord it over the Estate forever.

In the whole Estate, Xiaoyun's voice was the only discordant one. Miss Yu wanted all men to be as subservient as Huaifu, or else like Liangzhong, always cajoling her. She enjoyed the intoxication of having men in her power. Xiaoyun's arrogance represented a kind of resistance to her authority, a wholly unexpected resistance. In an Estate full of male obedience and soothing voices, it was a very grating voice, a glaring and strident exception. With this stridency and grating quality, Xiaoyun stood out even more from the other men in the Estate. Xiaoyun's rebelliousness meant that he never left Miss Yu's thoughts, she was always spoiling to have a good fight with him.

On the third day of the courting, Miss Yu ran into Xiaoyun in the corridor. She had been about to go to the Mystery Chambers when she encountered Xiaoyun pushing Naixiang's wheelchair in her direction. Almost instantaneously, the recent unpleasantness crossed Miss Yu's mind, and she glared at him in frustration as they were about to pass "Where are you going, my lady?" Xiaoyun wasn't in a bad mood, and so he greeted her in this frivolous manner. Ai'ai was sick and Naixiang hadn't had a turn in the Estate for several days, and so Suqin had pushed the task off on him. It happened that Xiaoyun also wanted to have a walk around the Estate anyway. Miss Yu wanted to pick a fight with him, and Xiaoyun was looking for an opportunity to tease Miss Yu anyway.

Miss Yu ignored him and kept walking. She had gone some distance, but couldn't prevent herself from turning back to have a look at Xiaoyun. She saw that he hadn't gone on, and was standing in the same place staring at her. The rainy season was over, and the weather was clear and brilliant. It was already the beginning of summer, and a cool breeze was blowing. Miss Yu had long since discovered that Xiaoyun regarded Naixiang with boundless hostility, and so when she saw him going walking with Naixiang, she could not help but wonder.

As she was walking up to the Mystery Chambers, Miss Yu heard the creaking of the wooden wheelchair. The sound was getting closer. Evidently, Xiaoyun was pushing Naixiang in her direction. Miss Yu felt vaguely pleased, since ignoring Xiaoyun just now had represented a kind of revenge, albeit a small one. Smiling, she approached her writing desk, dripped a few drops of water onto the inkstone and gently ground the ink. The sound of the wheelchair seemed to have disappeared. Miss Yu stopped for a moment to listen, and then the sound of the wheelchair suddenly reappeared. In the large Estate all the thresholds had either been sawed off or ramped to make it convenient for the wheelchair. Xiaoyun had already pushed Naixiang into the open courtyard of the Mystery Chambers. Miss Yu continued to grind the ink. Then she spread out the paper, picked up her brush contemplatively, and then put brush carefully to paper. The wheelchair's creaking sounded, dimly like music. Distracted, she completed one page in a single breath, and picked up another. She wrote a few more characters, and the sound of the wheelchair was no longer audible. She hadn't minded while the sound was audible, but now that she couldn't hear the wheelchair anymore, it perturbed her. She calmed herself and listened carefully, but there was no sound for what seemed like ages. She thought to herself that Xiaoyun had left.

It was very quiet outside, but for the occasional bird call. She took a copybook at random, opened the latticework door and walked out into the narrow walkway. This walkway faced the courtyard, so that when Miss Yu looked down, she was astonished to find that not only was Xiaoyun still present, but that his head was raised and he was looking at her. Because he was still wearing those pretentious glasses, he looked very affected and laughable. Their eyes met and urgently fled in opposite directions. Miss Yu leaned on the carved balustrade, and read her copybook with a show of great interest. But as she read, she could barely contain her laughter.

For some time, neither of them spoke. Miss Yu had already resolved that even if Xiaoyun spoke first, trying to elicit a response, she would ignore him entirely. She was determined to give him the cold shoulder, so that he could have a taste of his own arrogance. "Hey, young lady, what book are you reading?" So he really had spoken first. Never before had he been so forthcoming. Obviously the question must conceal some ulterior motive.

Miss Yu said: "What business is it of yours what book I'm reading?" Xiaoyun bit his lip, and a barely perceptible smile passed across his lips. Leisurely, he said, "I've been told that your favourite book is The Plum in the Golden Vase, could it be that you're rereading it now?" Miss Yu, secure in her lofty vantage point, ignored this sally at first. But how could she bear not to speak? She had to respond after all, saying provocatively, "What business is it of yours if I read it or not? Yes, that's true. It's a book I enjoy reading. So what if I were reading it just now?"

Xiaoyun laughed mockingly, "You like to read The Plum in the Golden Vase so much, but which character do you picture yourself as? You can't be the playboy, since the playboy is a man, he's like your brother. What a shame that this is how playboys end up."

Miss Yu said, "If my brother is the playboy, doesn't that make your sister Golden Lotus?" Miss Yu thought herself very amusing and laughed heartily at the comparison to the vile adulteress.

Huaifu was passing through the corridors when, at the entrance to the courtyard, he saw Miss Yu and Xiaoyun talking. Instinctively, he slowed down in order to hear what they were saying. Miss Yu was standing in the Mystery Chambers and was saying something, obviously she was somehow attacking Xiaoyun, and now she was cackling. Huaifu hesitated, not knowing whether it was better to join them or to eavesdrop from a distance. He stood there, petrified, not daring to advance. He was already quite near, he could hear very well what was being said. They were talking and laughing, and it didn't really smell of combat.

Miss Yu above, Xiaoyun below—conversing. Miss Yu said, "Hey, don't just stand down there. If you have something to say, come up." Xiaoyun pointed at her brother, saying that he was willing to join her upstairs, but what should be done about Naixiang. Miss Yu saw Huaifu at the entrance to the courtyard, and commanded him to take Naixiang back. "You've got not business here." she said rudely. Obviously she had noticed Huaifu eavesdropping there, and so she sent him away.

X
iaoyun passed Naixiang into Huaifu's charge and climbed the Mystery Chambers at Miss Yu's invitation. He stood in some amazement looking at the room, which was saturated with an air of debauchery. The various legends that surrounded the Mystery Chambers were not unfamiliar to him. He had long lost the sexual innocence of a boy, and everything he saw here reminded him involuntarily of the first time he had entered a brothel. That had been in the provincial capital, where a fat prostitute had taken care of him on the edge of a filthy bed. She seemed to have seen into the fear he kept hidden deep in his heart, and consoled him like a child.

Xiaoyun was staring at The Precious Concubine Emerging from her Bath. Xiaoyun was mature now, he could admire her expression as she emerged from the bath, and this served to conceal his own dread. "Is it the first time you've come here?" Miss Yu was like a child exhibiting her collection, watching Xiaoyun with a look of great innocence. She believed that everything in this room was sure to astound Xiaoyun. Xiaoyun opened the cloisonné bottle and took a look at the man and woman in congress on the bottle. Miss Yu had not expected this kind of thing to happen so quickly, and had expected even less for him to be unimpressed. Indeed, she was the one who instead became awkward and astonished. She deliberately feigned utter indifference, and said almost naughtily, "I bet you've never seen things like this, have you? I'm helping you broaden your horizons, aren't I?" She was doing her best to act more mature for Xiaoyun. She wanted to amaze Xiaoyun, but everything she did seemed artificial and childish.

Xiaoyun was deeply amused by Miss Yu's behavior. All kinds of complicated emotions were contending in his heart regarding this headstrong young lady. He couldn't possibly like anyone, as long as they were from the Zhen family. But he also would have not have characterized his feelings for Miss Yu as marked by irritation. Miss Yu's personality was like a burning fire, and when he was with her the feeling often arose, as a man, that he would like to play with fire. He approached the window and thrust open one of the western windows. Then he walked through the latticework door onto the walkway. Not long ago, Miss Yu had been standing there, speaking with him where he stood in the open courtyard.