A Fractured Light (21 page)

And that was what
I
needed.

Chapter 25

A
fter the race, the whole gang of us went out for pizza.

I sat with Cassie, Dan, Ian, Asher, Gideon, and Ardith—and Aunt Jo, who beamed with happiness. A few tables away, Ellie and Maggie were sitting with a few of their friends and a couple of girls from the team.

“Be right back, guys,” I said, sliding out of the booth. I walked over to them. Ellie looked up at me nervously.

“Hey, Skye,” Ellie said. “Look, I’m sorry—”

“That was a great race.” I cut her off. “You were amazing. You definitely deserve captain more than I do.”

“I do?” She looked perplexed. “But I thought you wanted it.”

“I did,” I said. “I do. But . . . I can’t just waltz back in here and expect everything to go back to normal.” I shrugged. “Maybe it’s good that it didn’t go back to normal. Maybe things needed to change.”

“Ooookay, Skye,” Ellie said hesitantly, glancing at Maggie for support. “I guess? Thanks?”

“Good,” I said. “You’re welcome.” I leaned my elbows on the table. Ellie and Maggie looked at each other. “El,” I said. “Ian’s into you. You should ask him out or something. He’s kind of shy about it.”

“Yeah,” she said, her eyes glazing over as if she’d used too much brain power for one day. “Sure. Maybe. Okay.”

“What was
that
about?” Ian looked nervous as I rejoined our table.

“Nothing. You may get a phone call soon or something. Just saying.”

“Skye . . . ” He looked livid. His face was red beneath his freckles, and even his ears had tinged pink. “What did you say to her!” Dan snorted next to him, trying to hold back laughter. Cassie elbowed him in the ribs.

“I just said you had the biggest—”

“Skye!” Ian was turning purple. “You didn’t!”

“—heart of anybody I knew,” I said. “If you’d let me finish. Thank you.”

Everyone laughed. Aunt Jo ordered another round of pizzas, and Asher threw his arm around me.

“You were amazing up there,” he whispered into my ear, squeezing me.

I smiled at him. It was the happiest I’d felt in a long time.

“I have an idea,” I said suddenly. Everyone continued talking. “Guys.
GUYS!
” All eyes turned to me. “I was thinking. Spring break is coming up. Aunt Jo, would you let us hike out to the cabin for a few days?”

“You have got to be kidding me,” she said, shaking her head.

“Come onnn,” I pleaded. “I think we get cell reception out there, and we’d promise to call if anything happened. We’re super responsible.”

“You’re also terrible actors,” she said, looking around at Cass and Ian, Dan and Asher. She sighed. “But I’ll think about it.”

The group began talking excitedly about plans, with Aunt Jo interjecting, “I haven’t said yes yet!” at regular intervals. I leaned back in my seat, fitting snugly into the crook of Asher’s arm. It would be fun to spend a few carefree days in the woods with my friends. But I had another reason for wanting to go back there. The cabin was where my parents had lived once. It was where the uprising had started. It was where a new faction of angels and half-angels had begun to form. Rebellions happen when your will to fight is strong enough. My parents and Aunt Jo weren’t able to succeed. But my will was strong. And I had the power to back it up, now.

Aunt Jo and I had taken separate cars to the race that morning, and I drove home alone in the twilight, the tiny car whipping tightly around the bends in the mountain roads. I felt giddy and alive.

I pulled into the driveway, realizing I was used to seeing Asher waiting for me on the porch or just inside. But today the porch was empty. Aunt Jo’s car wasn’t in the driveway, either, which meant that she’d taken a detour past the store to check in. I felt a little relieved to have the chance to be alone for a while.

I glanced around, instinctively, for Guardians, even though it was stupid. If there were any Guardians nearby, they would be hiding, making themselves scarce.
Haunting the woods
. Thinking of the Guardians made me wonder how Devin felt about my coup on the mountain. Of course, my friends didn’t know about that part—they just thought I’d gotten the second best time of the day. Asher knew the real reason for my elation. I could only imagine that Devin had seen it, too—watched as I took control of both sides of my powers. I wondered if he was lurking somewhere now. Waiting for the right moment to say something—if he was planning to say anything at all. It always made me a little sad to think of Devin. In those marathon training sessions behind my house, he’d pushed me so hard, you’d never have thought he was capable of moments of great tenderness. But he could surprise you. He’d surprised me.

He’d hurt me, too.

But how could I forget the good times? I couldn’t just throw those to the wind and let them blow away forever. I held on to those moments between us like a special secret. Maybe one I didn’t want to share with anyone. Not even Devin himself, if it came down to it. I’d rather let those moments live inside me, where no one could tell me that I was wrong or naive for wanting to see the best in people. Even killers.

I got to the front door and stopped short.

A tiny purple alpine flower from the field out back was tied around the doorknob with the same string I’d used to tie it to Devin’s door. Was it an extended olive branch? Some acknowledgment? Of what? I remembered the Devin who’d been my teacher, who’d first told me about my parents. Who’d hugged me awkwardly in the parking lot at school when it had all seemed too overwhelming.

Was it too much to hope that he was proud of me for figuring it all out? What a long way I’d come from the parking lot that night.

What if that was all this flower was: not a threat or a message but a simple, thoughtful gesture? Even though he was controlled by higher powers, Devin had found a secret way to let me know the truth.

I untied the flower and took the stairs two at a time to my room.

Happiness, compounded by the race and the pizza and the afternoon with friends made me lightheaded. Where was Asher? I wanted to share my excitement. Maybe I wasn’t scared to be with him anymore. I could control my powers. I could keep it together around him now. Maybe I was ready.

No
, I thought.
I
am
ready. I know I am.

In a fit of joy, I opened the window wide and summoned the air with all my strength. With my hands, I controlled the flow of a gust of wind as it picked up the flower, floating it high in the air. Without losing concentration, I summoned a stronger gust of wind from out in the field. It blew through my open window, and with it, carried hundreds of tiny purple flowers like the one borne above my head. They caught the light in their translucent petals and cast a purple glow across my room.

Behind me, I heard a gentle knock, and before I could stop the flowers from fluttering above me like a hundred purple butterflies, the door swung open.

“Oh my god, Skye,” Cassie’s voice echoed loudly throughout every square inch of the house. “What are you
doing
?”

Chapter 26

I
let the gust of wind die, and all the flowers fell to the floor simultaneously. Cassie stared at me open-mouthed.

“God, Cassie, don’t you knock?” I said sharply.

“Uh, yeah, Skye, actually I did. Maybe if you hadn’t been too busy playing the Sorcerer’s Apprentice with flying purple flowers, you might have heard me.” She held up my shoulder bag. “You left this at the pizza place.”

“Uh, first of all, you didn’t knock that loud, and second of all—”

“
First
of all,” she said, throwing her purse down and charging toward me, “did you forget that we were supposed to go out tonight? Or were you planning to ditch me for your
boy
friend again?” She snorted and paused for breath. “And
second
of all”—she pointed down at the heap of flowers—“what was
that
?”

“I can explain,” I said again. But then I didn’t. I just stood there, my arms at my sides, completely at a loss for any lie that could explain away what had just happened. And I was so tired of trying to think of one. I had been lying to Cassie from the very moment I turned seventeen. It had been months. I couldn’t do it anymore. She was my best friend, and she didn’t deserve it. I’d find a way to protect her. I was stronger now. But if I kept it up, the mental and physical exertion of lying to my best friend would drain me of all my powers, light and dark.

“Good explanation,” Cassie said. “Very thorough. I totally get it now.”

“Okay.” I exhaled slowly. “Here goes. Cassie, I—”

“Stop, I can’t take it,” she blurted. “Whatever the reason you’re mad at me, I’m sorry! Is it—”

“Cass,” I interrupted. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Just tell me why,” she said. “Why aren’t we best friends anymore? You’ve totally changed, Skye. You never used to keep things from me. What did I do to make you go away?”

“Oh, Cassie,” I said, the guilt finally overcoming me. “You didn’t make me go away.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to sit with me on my bed. “I just felt so guilty. Because it was my fault. Your whole accident was my fault.”

“How could it have been your fault?” she asked, perplexed. “Did
you
cut the brakes?”

“No,” I said, my heart beginning to pound. “But I know who did. And it was because I almost told you what I’m about to tell you now. The truth. About everything.”

“Skye, you’re not making sense.” Cassie shook her head. “The truth about what?”

“Hold on.” I moved to the window and peered down at the yard. A shadow moved in the bushes. I’d recognize Asher’s tall, lanky frame anywhere, and I smiled to myself, safe in the knowledge that he was out there, keeping watch. I trusted that he’d never let a Guardian hurt me again—not after what Ardith had said about his lingering guilt. And Cassie was an extension of me, so he’d never let anything happen to Cassie again. I’d just have to keep an extra close watch on her. And in the event that she did get hurt—I could heal her this time.

“This is going to sound a little crazy,” I said. “But it will explain everything.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out.” She adjusted her messy bun. “But okay. Go ahead.”

And so I took a deep breath and told her. “I’m an angel,” I said. “My mother was a Guardian, and my father was a Rebel. Just like in the campfire story Asher and Devin told us a few months ago on the ski trip.”

“What?” Cassie said flatly, staring at me in disbelief. “Am I supposed to believe—?”

“Devin is a Guardian, and Asher, he’s a Rebel. They were sent here to guide and protect me while I figured out what kind of powers I had, because of who my parents were and everything. They were each trying to get me to join them on their side of this . . . this big cosmic battle. They . . . well, I know it sounds weird, but they wanted me.”

“I’ll bet they did,” Cassie said with a smirk.

“No, I mean they wanted my powers. Because whichever side could control them would almost certainly destroy the other.”

Cassie’s eyes were growing round. “Wow!” She didn’t say it so much as breathed the word. “Are you sure you aren’t making this up? Because it’s a pretty elaborate lie, and—”

“I’m not,” I jumped in quickly, eager to get to the part about her. “It turned out that Devin wasn’t actually sent here to protect me or guide me. The Order—they’re the faction of angels that control destiny—commanded him to kill me.”

“No!”

“Yeah. He spent all winter trying to get me alone in order to do it. He made Aunt Jo have to lead all those trips out to the mountains, and when he saw that I was getting ready to tell you what was going on—”

“He cut my brakes?”

“No, Raven did. She’s also a Guardian.”

“So . . .” Cassie’s voice grew strangely subdued. “Am I in danger now? I mean you just told me, right?”

“I think we’re safe,” I said. “We’re prepared for it this time. Asher is standing outside my window right now. He won’t let anything happen to you, I promise. We know what we’re up against now.”

We went to the window. Sure enough, Asher was skulking around the foot of the deck. “Hey Asher!” Cassie called. He glanced up, vigilant and intense.

“Cassie, stop!” I cried, pulling her back. “This is really, really serious.”

“Oh, come on, lighten up,” she said. “I know it’s serious, but god, you almost have to laugh about it to keep sane, don’t you?”

“And that is why I desperately needed to tell you. Cassie, no one in the world can beat your advice.”

“So,” she mulled, “all this time, the whole reason you didn’t tell me was to
protect
me?”

“Yup.” I smiled.

“Skye, I feel so
honored
to be your friend.” She paused thoughtfully. “But what about Devin?” she whispered. “What happened to him after he—you know—
tried to kill you
?”

“He and Raven were bonded by destiny, and now he avoids me—but I know he’s waiting for something. I just don’t know what.”

“I’m sorry,” Cassie said. “I know that this is your life and all, but it’s even better than that campfire story that they told on the ski trip. This is the most epic thing to happen to any of us!” She paused, then said, “Oh, poor Ian. He never stood a chance with you. Look what he was up against.”

“It’s true,” I said.

“Wow, Skye, this is
huge
! I have to say, though, I don’t envy you right now. How can you fight with the Order—they tried to kill you! But how can you fight with the Rebellion? They only want to use you.”

“I know,” I said, loving Cassie more and more by the minute. “You can’t tell Dan, though. Promise?”

“Oh, no.” Cassie shook her head violently. “No. No. Dan and I don’t keep secrets from each other.”

“Cassie, please? We can’t tell him just yet.”

“Skye, I’m such a bad liar. He knows. He knows every time.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “He
knows
.”

“Cass,” I said, crossing my arms. “No means no.”

“Fine,” she grumbled. Then paused. “What about Asher? Don’t you want to be where he is?”

Don’t pick your star just because it’s the star he’s chosen,
Aunt Jo had said. It seemed logical enough, but I really had no idea what the answer to Cassie’s question was. I sauntered over to the window and peered out. Asher was patrolling outside, a Rebel angel and a soldier. What had Ardith said?
He’d spend another thousand years by your side if he could.
Yes, of course I wanted to be wherever he was.

But what if my powers told a different story? My story was about love, but what if the blood in my veins wanted it to be about war?

“I don’t know,” I said quietly. Behind me, I heard the bed squeak as Cassie got up. She put her arm around me gently.

“You’ll figure it out, Skye,” she said. “You always do.”