A Fractured Light (5 page)

A gentle warmth began to bloom in the palms of my hands. I opened my eyes.

Entirely on my own, I had created fire. I held it in front of me like it was an offering to Asher and Ardith. They looked at each other.

“I need to go home,” I said.

“Okay.” Asher relented. “Okay. We’ll take you home. But we’re going to need—”

“Gideon,” said Ardith, quietly. “We’re going to need Gideon.”

Chapter 6

W
e’d officially made a decision, and Asher and Ardith kicked into gear.

“We’ll fly you home,” said Asher. “No one can see us unless we reveal ourselves to them. We’ll be able to get you back there safely.”

“I’ll summon Gideon,” Ardith said. “He can go ahead and secure the area, and we’ll meet up with him there.”

“You sure you want to do this, Skye?” Asher put both hands on my shoulders and looked at me pointedly. “Home won’t be like it used to. It’s not the River Springs you knew and loved. It’s not yours anymore. It’s the Order’s. Guardians will be everywhere. You have to be aware, everywhere you go.” His eyes were serious and deep as he searched mine. “You’re on borrowed time.”

I took a deep breath. “I know what I need to do.”

Asher nodded. “Okay,” he said. “We’ll go tonight.”

Ardith went off to contact Gideon, and Asher took my hand. “I almost don’t want to leave this cabin,” he said. “There’s something about it—”

“I know.”

“It’s like our little place. Where we can just . . .”

“
Be
,” I finished.

“Yeah.” He pulled me toward him and wrapped his arms around me. I lay my cheek against his chest. “I just want to protect you, Skye. All I want is to keep you safe. But I also want to see you be as awesome as I know you can be, and if that means going back to River Springs and all the things that might come between us, then that’s what we have to do. But . . . can I just show you one thing before we go?”

“Of course,” I said.

I looked up into his eyes, and the air grew suddenly misty and cold. Now that we’d stopped talking, a deafening roar crashed in my ears.

“Asher, what—” I turned around to take in my surroundings, and my jaw dropped. “Where are we? How did you do that?”

We were at the top of a huge cliff. Water spilled down over the side in huge, driving waves, pounding into a whirlpool below.

“Do you like it?” Asher asked.

“It’s unbelievable,” I said, letting the mist fall against my face. “It’s gorgeous.”

“This is what I did while you were unconscious.”

For just a second my heart stopped. “You what?”

“Before you woke up,” he said, eyeing me, tentatively gauging my reaction. “I couldn’t sleep. When it was Ardith’s turn to watch you, I would come out here in the woods, at night. I needed to do something. To feel like I could control
something
. The thought of losing you . . .” He grazed his thumb along my cheek.

I squeezed his hand. “You made this for me?”

“I made it because I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was struggling with so many . . . feelings, I guess, and I had no idea what to do with them.” He paused and looked around, surveying his work. “I could have kept going, but you woke up. And then I needed to be with you.”

“I . . . I don’t know what to say.”

He had told me he loved me, but it wasn’t until this moment that I really knew what that meant. The water crashed around us, wild, impossible to control. He shrugged. “Don’t say anything.” He gestured at the waterfall, the cliff, and the jagged rocks below. “Come on,” he said, taking my hand. “This way.” We wended our way down a path in the side of the cliff that took us to the bottom. Asher held back branches for me when they hung too low, so they wouldn’t snap back in my face. Something had changed while I’d been unconscious. Asher had certainly never held back during our training or treated me in any special way. Now, it was almost as if he was afraid of breaking me. All of a sudden, I was fragile to him. Something that needed protecting.

My heart felt like I’d swallowed it. I wanted so badly to stay close to him, so he’d never have to worry about losing me again.

“Asher?” He’d disappeared. I was alone on the path, mist from the whirlpool fogging my vision and making it hard to see.

“In here.” His voice rang out over the din of the churning water. I stepped cautiously through the curtain of mist, finding my footing on the slippery stones. The small path opened up into a dark cave. Asher stood several feet away, his back to me. When I walked up beside him, the view took my breath away. We were in a cave behind the waterfall, staring out through the velvety sheet of water.

I slipped my hand into his.

He turned to look down at me, happiness radiating from his face.

“You and me, Skye,” he said. “We’re partners.”

“For always,” I said.

He put his arms around me, and I leaned into him.

“You’re going to be so powerful, once you learn to control all of this,” he said quietly. “You could have powers greater than any other Rebel. That’s why we have to be so careful about what to do now.” He paused, his eyebrows knitting together as he stared out over the raging pool. “They’re in awe of you. And some of them are afraid.”

“Are you?” I whispered.

He didn’t say anything, but his arms tightened around me.

“I don’t know how to feel about all this,” I said, watching the waterfall as if it held all the answers. “I don’t want them to be afraid of me.”
Or you,
I thought. For some reason, it reminded me of something Devin always used to say about the Order.
A place with no fear
. I hated how he kept creeping back into my thoughts, whether I wanted him there or not. I was grateful that Asher’s powers didn’t include the ability to read my mind. Though I had a hunch he suspected I thought about Devin. Every now and then, like now, as he gazed out at the water, his eyes grew dark with storm clouds. And when they did, I knew he was thinking of ways to get back at the icy blond angel for coming so close to stealing my life.

I didn’t want to be there when he finally found a way.

“I’ll keep you safe,” Asher murmured to himself.

Safe.
He’d said the word so many times, I wondered which of us he was trying to convince.

That night, we flew. Asher gripped me in his arms like he had the night he saved my life. Ardith coasted on black wings, silently, beside us. The wind rushed in my ears.

Soon, the dark clouds gave way to a scattering metropolis of lights below us. And then, the lights thinned out, and we began to descend.

My feet hit the ground hard, and as I looked around to get my bearings, I realized we were on Main Street. The moon hung low in the sky, casting the dimmest of light on downtown River Springs.

The air was cold, and it reminded me so much of the moonless night when I had turned seventeen.

The air had a brutal edge to it as I stood outside of Love the Bean.

The sky was dark. The street, deserted.

Snow from a recent storm had frozen over in the subsequent days’ chill, leaving the roads and the sidewalks in town slick and hazardous.

Asher and Ardith stood on either side of me.

“We won’t reveal ourselves yet—unless we need to,” Asher said reassuringly.

The wind sliced at my neck where it was exposed beneath my hat, and I scanned up and down the street for signs of life.

In the window of Into the Woods Outdoor Co., a light was on. I felt tears well in my eyes.

I was home.

Chapter 7

A
white mist swirled around me, dense and damp. It caught in my eyelashes, and when I blinked, it trickled down my cheeks. I opened my mouth and the mist tasted salty on my tongue.
Just like tears
, I thought.

Where was I? It wasn’t Main Street anymore, yet I knew this place. I’d opened my eyes to find myself here before.

I took a step forward, and the ground gave easily under my feet, soft and grainy. The mist began to clear for the first time. A black sand beach stretched out before me, trailing off into the distant mist. The dark sea lapped at the shore, constant, insistent. It was trying to tell me something.

But what?

I tripped on something and fell to my knees. Panic tore at me blindly, but it was only the hem of my dress, dirty and soaked, that had gotten tangled beneath my feet.
My dress?

It was long and gauzy white, grazing my ankles. For a moment, I was shocked to be wearing something so beautiful. And then, the shock gave way to sadness as I realized that I’d ruined the barely-there fabric. The dark sand and seawater stained the hem and at my knees where I’d fallen.

Nothing perfect ever lasts
, I found myself thinking.

I stood up, collecting the folds of the beautiful dress in my arms to keep from falling. I leaned forward into the wind, into the mist, as I took one step and then another. And then my feet hit something solid.

My heart beat fast, and I swallowed the wet air, bending to see what I’d stumbled upon.
Feet
, I realized.
Those are feet.
The mist drew out with the tide, and now that my vision was clear, dread descended on me. I was looking down at a body. It lay unmoving on the beach, but I couldn’t make out the face.

And then the mist returned, like the ocean was sucking its breath in with me, and the whiteness expanded into the sky, until it eclipsed everything else.

When I opened my eyes again I was inside, lying on a worn velvet couch, staring up at Ian.

“Hey,” he said, his freckled face expanding into a huge grin. “You’re awake.”

“Ian?”

“Welcome back,” he said breathlessly. “But give a guy a break, Skye. I already thought I’d never see you again, then I have to go and find you passed out in the street?”

I looked up, alarmed that he really was angry with me, but the grin was still plastered across his face. Before I knew what was happening, I was smiling and laughing and holding back tears while Ian scooped me up in his arms and held me against his chest.

“Oh my god,” he said, laughing. “I didn’t know if I would ever hear that laugh again.”

“I didn’t know if I would ever see those freckles again!” I cried.

He smiled and brought a hand to his face in mock self-consciousness.“What, these things? My mom says I’ll grow out of them by the time I graduate. She says then I’ll be ever so handsome.”

“No! Don’t you ever grow out of them,” I said. “They’re the most reassuring sight in the world.” Under his freckles, Ian’s cheeks turned red.

“Oh, man, Skye,” he said, taking my hand in his. “You’re really here, aren’t you? I’m not just dreaming this?”

“I’m here,” I said. I raised an eyebrow. “Ian, have you been dreaming about me?”

“Every night.” As with most conversations Ian and I had, I knew he wasn’t exactly kidding when he said things like that. I let my hand fall from his, and he noticed. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “Are you still, you know, with . . . ?”

“Yeah,” I said, dropping my voice, too. “Asher.”

“Asher. Right.” He looked up at the clock, probably just to avoid my gaze. Then he looked back at me. “You know, he wasn’t out there on the street when I found you. No one was. You were just lying there, passed out, alone. What happened?”

He’d been there, of course.
We won’t reveal ourselves yet.
They were here, watching everything. Asher would never leave me. But I couldn’t exactly tell Ian that.

“Skye,” Ian prodded. “I’m serious. What happened? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” I said, suddenly really tired. I thought about all the questions that were awaiting me now that I was back. “I was awake and then . . . I was here.” I paused. “Maybe it was exhaustion. I was traveling. . . .”

“Traveling,” he repeated.

“Yeah.”

“Do . . . you wanna tell me where you were?”

I looked up at him again. There was a steaming mug of something delicious-looking on the coffee table next to him.
Oh, Ian.
He was always there for me when I needed him. Not for the first time, I wished I could be there—
had
been there—for my friends in the same way. But, no matter how hard I tried, I didn’t see a way that I ever could.

“I do want to tell you,” I said finally.

“But?” His smile was lopsided, a little sad. He knew me that well.

“I can’t. I’m so sorry. I wish I could.”

“Hey.” He took my face, suddenly, in both his hands. I was caught off-guard, and my body responded before I was ready. There was something so aggressive, yet gentle, about his sudden forcefulness. So unlike Ian. “You never need to apologize to me.” His green eyes flashed with an intensity I’d never seen in them before. “I know you need your space. And I know that, when you’re ready, you’ll tell me everything.”

I felt the tears well up in me again, and for a couple of seconds, I couldn’t say a word. Finally I whispered, “Thank you.”

In another surprise move, he bent and kissed me on the forehead. Something had changed about him while I’d been gone. He was the same Ian, but different. More confident or something. I could still feel his lips on my skin after he pulled away.

My mouth dropped open as I realized that I liked it.

“So,” Ian said, letting his hands fall to his sides and standing. He began to busy himself straightening up the Bean. We were the only people there. It must have been after closing already. “Am I the only one who knows you’re here?” I stood and followed him behind the counter as he opened the cash register and counted a stack of bills.

“Yup,” I said, hoisting myself onto the counter next to him. He double-checked the till to make sure he’d swiped it clean of money, then put the stack of bills down on the counter and ruffled through them nervously.

“You talk to Cassie?”

I straightened, fully alert now.

“She’s awake?” My heart was in my throat.

Ian smiled—a weary, relieved smile—and for the first time I noticed how tired he looked. Like he’d been through a little bit of hell.

“She’s awake,” he said. “Bruised and battered, you know. It looks . . .” He coughed. “It looks not so great. But she’s alive. She’s going to be fine.” He nodded, as if confirming this fact to himself.

“Oh my god,” I said, jumping off the counter and throwing my arms around him. I buried my face in his neck and let the warm scent of cookies and lattes wrap itself around my heart. The comforting scent of home.

“I don’t know what I’d have done if . . . if she hadn’t . . .” I couldn’t finish.

“Yeah,” Ian said quietly, running his fingers softly—almost tentatively—through my hair. “She was lucky. We all were.”

He put his arm around me tighter, and I let the stability of his presence in my life comfort me. He had always been there for me, and he always would be.

No matter what I did to him. No matter how many times I told him no.

“Been home yet?” Ian asked, pulling away.

“Not exactly,” I said with a sheepish smile.

“Wanna see her?”

“Yes,” I said, too quickly. “Definitely.”

“Cool,” he said. “Just give me a few minutes while I close up.”

Ian went off to the supply room, and I wandered around the coffee shop. The last time I’d seen it so empty was the day after my birthday party, when Cassie, Dan, and I had helped Ian clean up the mess. I shivered as I remembered the bitter cold air that had blown through the broken windows on that gray day.

As if brought back to that actual moment in time, a chilly breeze brushed my hair into my eyes, and I turned to see where it was coming from. The window in the back was open, the one by the couches that the four of us had sat on that very afternoon, our feet up on the coffee table as we surveyed the work ahead of us. I walked over to close it, but as I did, something caught my eye. Something that stood out against the drab, walked-all-over carpet and worn plush cushions of the couch. A single white feather was blowing lightly in the breeze.

My heart dropped, and the wind rushed in my ears as my knees gave way. I sat down on the low coffee table, hard.
A white feather.

They’d warned me, hadn’t they? There would be Guardians here.

And not just Guardians. Devin, too.

I knew what to expect. But suddenly I wondered if I was ready.

Falling in love with you was one more thing I couldn’t help
. Had he meant those words? How could the Order make someone such a hypocrite? How could he feel that way and still do what he did to me?

I couldn’t understand it.

I felt like I was wearing headphones with the music blasting at full volume. Above the rushing in my ears one sound struggled to get through.

“Skye!” My head snapped up. Ian stood over me, looking concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He went over to close the window, and I took that opportunity to shove the feather into my jacket. “Ready to leave?” I nodded. He cocked his head to one side. “Skye,” he said, his voice already making me feel better. “No one blames you, you know. For leaving. For any of it.”

I nodded grimly. I wished I could tell him that I hadn’t just left. That I would never abandon him, or Cassie, Dan, or Aunt Jo like that. They were my family. But there were so many things I could never tell him. “I think maybe I should just go home first. See Aunt Jo. If word got to her that I saw Cassie before I saw her, she’d never forgive me.”

“Good call,” said Ian. “You’re a way better person than me.” He clapped his hand on my back. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

As we drove, Ian and I fell back into our old banter.

“So what’s been going on since I’ve been away?” I asked.

He glanced over at me. “Are you pumping me for gossip?”

“I feel so out of the loop!”

“Well, I’m not as good at this as Cassie, so bear with me. You’ll have to get the full scoop from her tomorrow.”

“Pleeease?”

“Okay, okay. Well, you know about Cassie and Dan, I guess, right? How they’re . . .”

“Together?” I asked hopefully.

“Sickening.” He laughed. “Ever since she left the hospital they’ve been surgically attached.”

“Yay!” I said, clapping my hands, so excited, suddenly, to be surrounded by all the little normal things that I loved about my life.

“I think we have different definitions of ‘yay.’ I lost a bro this winter, Skye.” He bowed his head. “A true bro. One of the good ones.”

I laughed. “Hey, eyes on the road. So what have you been doing with yourself while that’s been happening?”

Ian glanced in his side-view mirror and switched lanes evasively. A police car passed us in the opposite direction. My stomach tightened involuntarily, as I remembered the sirens on the morning of Cassie’s accident.

“I’ve been finding ways to have fun.” He focused on the road as we neared my driveway and didn’t elaborate.

“That’s such a guy thing to say,” I muttered. “You’re no fun.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at me. There was a mischievous look in his eyes that he was not going to tell me about. Something had shifted between us, as quickly as a cloud passing across the sun, but I didn’t know what. “Home, sweet home,” he said. “Ready to face the wrath of Aunt Jo?”

“Ugh,” I said. “No. But I’m going in anyway.”

“You can do this.” He patted my knee gingerly, like I might slap his hand away at any moment. “She’ll just be so relieved that you’re home. She’s been frantic.”

“Way to make me feel better,” I joked halfheartedly.

“Just call me if you need anything,” he said. I got out of the car, and leaned down to stick my head in the window.

“Thanks, Ian,” I said. “I’m glad I saw you first.”

“Me too.” He grinned. “Just don’t tell Cassie. She’ll kill me for not bringing you straight to her.”

I zipped my lips and threw away the key.

“Our secret.”

He nodded and peeled out of the driveway.

The light from the kitchen windows spilled out into the front yard as I stood and stared up at the house. It used to be home. It still was, I guessed.

I took a deep breath and made my way inside.