A Gathering of Memories (29 page)

“I don’t think there will be any trouble, but you do what you have to, Mac.”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Mac laughed as Silas stood gripped with indecision. “Si, they’re going to be fine. Julia and I have a
little
experience with boys, and we’ll handle whatever comes up.”

Thanking his brother-in-law, Silas headed for home to get all his girls before heading to town. They were ready so the wagon was loaded swiftly. Amy laughed at Becca, who was unable to sit still on the seat in her enthusiasm.

Susanne was treated to the same look Mac had seen as Becca barely took time to be hugged good-bye. Silas stared after her skipping feet and flying pigtails, bereft.

“It’s pretty hard to lose out to cousins and dolls, isn’t it, Silas?” Sue’s soft words were spoken in kindness, not teasing.

“I guess I think they’re not going to survive the weekend without us. But we do need to get away, and once we’re on the train I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t forget that if something comes up we can go for Mandy.”

“Thanks, Sue.” Silas was grateful for her words. In the next minute he was back in the wagon where Amy and the older girls waited. Then they were on their way to his grandmother’s.

“Have a good time,” she told them.

“Thanks Gram, we’ll be back sometime Monday.”

“If for some reason you’re held up, we’ll be just fine.”

“Well, girls,” Grandma Em spoke as they watched Silas and Amy walk toward the train station, “I’ve got supper started. Why don’t you take your things up and pick out bedrooms?”

“Can we stay in that green room I was in the other day?”

“That’s fine, Mandy. That was Christine’s room when she lived with me, before she and Luke were married. Carrie, you can take the other room if you like. There’s a crib in there but it’s still comfortable.”

“I’ll sleep in with Mandy. We have separate rooms at home, and I kind of miss our talks at night.”

“You never told me that, Carrie,” Mandy said as they started inside. “You know you can come in anytime.”

Grandma Em, with a smile on her face, listened to them talk their way up the stairs. This was going to be a fun weekend.

The three of them had just finished the dishes when Ross knocked at the door. His plans to get out to Silas’ sometime that week had fallen through. He hoped Amanda had brought the papers.

“Hi, Ross,” Carrie answered the door and opened it wide for him to enter.

“Hi, Carrie. Is Amanda here?”

“She’s in the kitchen.”

“Who is it, Carrie? Oh, Ross, come in.” Grandma Em came from the direction of the kitchen. “We’ve just finished eating, but I can fix you a plate if you’re hungry.”

“No, thank you, I’ve eaten. Amanda was supposed to bring me a document from her mother’s papers.”

“She’s in the kitchen. Why don’t you go in and ask her?”

Mandy’s stomach had begun to churn at the sound of Ross’ voice and became downright queasy as he headed into the kitchen.

She had not forgotten the papers he had asked to see, but she
had
forgotten that she told him she would be here Thursday night. Mentally she was preparing herself for seeing him on Sunday, and now he was headed her way. She looked around the pantry where she stood and wished she could just shut the door and have him go away.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Ross,” she spoke casually as she turned away from the shelf and wondered how her voice could sound so normal. “Are you here about the papers?”

Superficially, yes,
he wanted to say.
But the real reason I’m here is because knowing you were so close made it impossible to stay away.

Aloud he said, “Did you remember them?”

“They’re upstairs. I’ll run and get them.”

But Ross did not step out of her way, and Mandy couldn’t stop her eyes from meeting his. It was a mistake.

“I had a busy week, but you were never far from my thoughts.”

Mandy wordlessly shook her head, as though trying to deny his words.

“You can’t run from me forever, Amanda. We need to talk.”

“I don’t think I can.”

Ross felt defeat wash over him as her eyes filled with tears.

“Please don’t cry, Amanda.”

“I can’t help it, and if you don’t want to watch you’d better leave!”

It was the first time she had ever sounded the least bit cross with him, and he realized how selfish it was to ask someone not to cry. It was as if he were saying, “Your tears distress me and
I
don’t want to be troubled by them.”

Ross closed the small space between them and took her into his arms. Mandy tipped her head back to look up at him, and Ross bent his.

“Mandy?” It was Carrie’s voice, from a discreet distance away from the doorway. It stopped Ross cold. “Are you okay, Mandy?”

Ross released her and Mandy took a step back. Her voice shook as she spoke, but what she was thinking had to be said.

“We can be friends, Ross, at least I hope we can, but
do not
touch me again unless you’re ready to make up your mind. My heart can’t take it.”

“What makes you think I haven’t made up my mind?”

She looked him square in the eye as she answered. “A man in love would have kissed me just now. You were relieved that Carrie interrupted us—I could feel it in the way your arms relaxed. A man in love would have wanted that kiss as much as I did. Any privacy, no matter how scant, would have been enough to continue.” She pushed her way past him, saying as she did, that she would bring him the papers.

You were relieved that Carrie interrupted us.

Ross set the bundle of papers aside. How excited he had been at the prospect of finding some loophole in Marks’ document, but now that he had everything laid out, he couldn’t concentrate on a single word.

Amanda had said she did not have time to sort through the papers, so she’d brought the whole bundle. Ross had come across old news clippings and a few letters, all from Amanda’s father to her mother. The document was there, signed just as Amanda said it was, but Ross was too emotionally worn to do any research.

He’d been wrong to hold her. He knew that now. And she was right—he hadn’t made up his mind. There was something missing, something that was holding him back. With Sarah it had all felt so right, but there hadn’t been the heartstopping, breathless reaction to just being near each other that there was with Amanda.

It didn’t feel so right and comfortable with Amanda. When he was with her he felt as if his world was out of kilter. And when he wasn’t with her he felt like part of him was missing.

Maybe he was really supposed to talk to her about Christ and nothing more. Ross set the papers on his bedside table and blew out the lamp. Things were going to be quiet when Pete left for the weekend. Ross usually fell asleep to the sound of his snoring coming through the wall, as it was now.

“Don’t ever forget, Ross, God is the creator of love and marriage.” These had been Grandma Em’s words when he was in a quandary over Sarah. “You must consult with Him about your future mate because He already has someone picked out for you.”

Ross, feeling drained of spirit and will, slid out of bed and to his knees on the floor. His burden was lifted as he gave Amanda to God as well as any future plans God had for him, with or without her. When he finally climbed back between the sheets, he fell asleep trusting that God was in control and that His infinite love for both him and Amanda would guide and shield them in the days to come.

“Luke, what is it?”

“I thought I heard something.”

“At the barn?”

“No, toward Si’s.”

Husband and wife stood at the open bedroom window and looked across at the empty house. The oaks that gave privacy to Silas and Amy’s house had lost most of their leaves, giving a clearer view of the two-story structure, but also allowing the moon to cast eerie shadows on the white paint.

“I guess it was just the wind. I’ll go over and check on things in the morning.”

They went back to bed then, and when a horse and rider eventually moved slowly away from the shadows of the oaks, Luke and Christine were sleeping too soundly to hear.

It was late in the afternoon on Saturday and Grandma Em, Mandy, and Carrie had been hard at work for hours. Grandma Em couldn’t stop thanking the girls, telling them repeatedly how long it would have taken her to do the fall canning alone.

Mandy lifted the lid on a pot of boiling apples. The steam dampened her hair and put even more color in her already flushed cheeks.

“Okay, Carrie, I’m ready for the jars.”

“Is this the last of it?”

“Yep.”

Not much later, Preston was at the door with three bouquets of flowers.

“Thank you,” Carrie breathed in awe. “Aren’t they pretty, Mandy?”

“They’re beautiful. Thank you, Mr. Culver.”

“You’re welcome, ladies.”

The girls took their flowers to the kitchen for water, and Preston looked at Emily, who had remained silent. Her smile nearly stretched off her face, and her eyes thanked him in a way that made words unnecessary.

“I take it I did the right thing?”

“You did the right thing.”

“Good.” He smiled back at her. She reached for his arm as they walked back to the kitchen.