A Gentleman's Kiss (17 page)

Seventeen

On the last day before his wedding Cameron found he could not concentrate on his work. Nor did it help matters when George had told him that morning about Claudia leaving for America. After trying to add the same column of numbers four times and getting four different answers, he finally pushed his book of accounts away and walked out to the pier in the back of the shelter.

He leaned against the rough wood of the railing and took a moment to pray. He first thanked God for not only helping him better accept the future that was now laid out before him but for the amazing change in Aurora. He didn’t understand what had come over her, but she suddenly stopped arguing with him about the shelter and started acting genuinely interested in what he was doing. She told him also that she had begun weekly lessons from the vicar on understanding the Bible better.

It was a relief to know she was trying to understand him and his work.

Cameron then prayed for Claudia, that she would be safe on her voyage to America and that God would allow her to find a man to love and one who would adore her. “Help Claudia find happiness and peace, Lord. Help us all to find it,” he prayed aloud, his voice soft as he looked up at the clear, cloudless sky.

“That is all any of us can ask, is it not?”

Hearing Aurora’s voice startled Cameron from his prayer. Whirling around he saw her standing there watching him with troubled eyes.

“Aurora,” he gasped, so stunned was he that she’d even ventured down to this rough area of town. Then he remembered what he’d been saying in his prayer. Had she heard? “I was just—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Cameron,” she interrupted him quietly. “I did not mean to eavesdrop on your prayer. I’ve only come to tell you something.”

She was acting quite out of character from her usual self. Normally she was smiling and animated when she saw him and kept up a constant stream of chatter about the wedding arrangements.

Something was definitely troubling her today. “Shall we sit down?” he asked, motioning toward a bench, but she shook her head.

“No. If I don’t tell you this now, I may lose my nerve.” She looked away and let out a long breath. “I lied about Lord Carmichael. Though Papa did urge me to find a husband, he never threatened to marry me to the old lord.”

“I know,” Cameron said.

Her eyes widened as she turned back to him. “You knew?”

Cameron shrugged. “I found out when I ran into Lord Carmichael in town two weeks ago. He had returned from the Continent after four months, where he’d met and married a lady from Spain.”

Aurora’s cheeks turned pink as she glanced away once more. “Why didn’t you say anything to me about it?”

“It would only make you feel bad. We both have enough on our minds.”

Aurora looked back at him. “After all I have done, you still consider my feelings?”

Cameron sighed and reached out to take her hands into his own. “Aurora, whether you meant for this engagement to happen or not, it is a reality. Neither of us can change that, so now we must do everything we can to make the most of it.”

Aurora seemed to search his eyes a moment before stepping back and removing her hands from his. “I can change it,” she whispered so softly Cameron was not sure he had heard her right.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said I can change it,” she said louder and more confidently. “I can end this engagement.”

Cameron could scarcely breathe, so stunned was he by her words. “And how would you accomplish this?”

“I have accepted another man’s proposal of marriage. We are to elope at Gretna Green tonight,” she stated matter-of-factly. Gretna Green was a village just over the Scottish border where couples from every class would often go to elope since banns were not required to be posted.

Cameron struggled to comprehend what she was saying. “But it will be social suicide for you and whomever you marry. You must know this!”

Aurora did not seem affected by his words. “It will not matter. I am marrying a gentleman farmer from my village, a Mr. John Miller. He has offered many times for my hand, but I refused since I was hoping that—well—you know what I wanted,” she explained, only faltering on those last words. “I wrote him two days ago and asked if he was still interested. He came to see me this morning and said he was. My only stipulation was that we elope, and he agreed to it.”

Cameron studied the determined look on Aurora’s face and still could not believe she was serious. Not after all she’d done to assure the engagement would happen. “Why, Aurora? Why are you doing this?”

She lowered her gaze. “Because I have recently become aware of my selfishness, and I am deeply ashamed of it.” She brought her eyes back to his again. “All my life I have thought only of myself and what I could do or have. I wanted you, and so I set out to get you. I ridiculed your religious ways and scoffed at your wanting to help the poor. I wanted you to focus on me and nothing else.”

“Aurora, we are all selfish at one time or an—”

“Yes, but I am that way all the time,” she interrupted. “And that is why I have to do this. I came by the shelter a few days ago to see why you spent so much time here and to convince you to give it up. As my driver and I neared the shelter, I have to tell you I was appalled at how poor this area is. All I could think of was what the ton would say if they knew you came down here every day and mingled with the riffraff of the city.” She paused and walked over to look down at the river.

Cameron watched her and found he felt let down by her remarks. Of course he knew every other young lady in London would have the same feelings, but a part of him had hoped she would try to understand.

Aurora continued after a pause. “I walked in and saw all those ragged-looking women and children and shuddered when one of the little ones brushed up against my skirt. I immediately judged them all unworthy even to be in my presence and set off down the hall to look for your office.”

Cameron had walked over to stand by her while she spoke. He wanted to defend his work and the people he helped every day but felt God telling him to wait. He knew he must hear the rest. “Was I not there?” he prompted when she hesitated again.

She looked up at him and nodded. “Yes, but I ran into someone before I could find you, and I have to tell you I was even more appalled at her presence than I was about anything else I’d seen that morning.”

Cameron knew right away who she was talking about. “You saw Claudia.”

She gave him a small smile. “Don’t look so worried, Cameron. Yes, I saw her, and I accused her of trying to steal you away from me, which she promptly denied.”

Cameron hadn’t seen Claudia since the day she quit the shelter, and he could only imagine how speaking to Aurora affected her. “Aurora, you know I would not play you false no matter what the circumstances of our engagement.”

She held out her hand as if to stop his defense. “I know, Cameron. I was just surprised at seeing her there. But now I’m glad I did.” She turned once more to the water. “When I told her I wanted you to give up the shelter, she accused me of not really knowing you. She told me about your love for God and how you only desired to do His will. It was like someone had opened a curtain, and suddenly I saw things I never had before.”

“These are things I’ve told you already, Aurora,” he gently reminded her.

“But I never heard them, Cam. Claudia so passionately defended you, and I suppose I was shamed by the fact that I had to be told these things by the woman who lost you to me.”

“Aurora, please don’t—”

“Say the truth?” she interjected. “You love Claudia, and she loves you. She is the one you want to marry, and I don’t blame you. She wants the same things in her life as you do.” Reaching inside her satin purse, Aurora pulled out his grandmother’s ring and handed it to him. “She is the one who needs to wear this ring.”

Cameron slowly reached out and took the jewel-encrusted ring from her. Hope bloomed in his heart; yet it was warring with concern for Aurora. “Are you sure about this, Aurora? Is John Miller a man with whom you can live your life?”

She smiled sadly at him. “I am not being totally unselfish in this decision, you know. I like John, and I know he loves me despite all my flaws and will do everything he can to make my life a happy one. He has always been that way to me, but I wouldn’t accept it until now.” She reached out her hand and cupped his cheek. “Be well, Cameron,” she whispered and turned to walk away.

“Thank you, Aurora,” he said, watching her leave. As his thumb caressed the smooth underside of the ring, his mind raced with thoughts of what to do next.

And then he knew. Tucking the ring safely in his pocket, Cameron headed for the shelter. He had a lot of arrangements to make, favors to call in, and people to speak to, if he was going to make his plan work.

❧

The next morning Claudia arrived at the dock and, after bidding a tearful Helen good-bye, bravely boarded the ship that would be taking her back home to her family and away from Cameron.

The captain’s wife, Mrs. O’Leary, was the first to greet her and welcome her aboard. Claudia could tell she and the kind older woman would get along well. After she showed Claudia to her room and helped her put away some of her things, Mrs. O’Leary explained about the schedule of the meals and introduced her to a maid who would personally assist her during the voyage.

Finally Mrs. O’Leary glanced at the watch pinned to her blouse. “Well, my lady, we’ll be leaving port soon, so I’d better be checkin’ with my husband to see if he needs me for anythin’. Remember your maid is right next door to ye, so just give the cord here a little tug if you’ll be needin’ somethin’ and she’ll come runnin’,” Mrs. O’Leary informed her in her soft Irish brogue, while pointing out the scarlet cord next to the vanity.

“Thank you, Mrs. O’Leary. I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Claudia assured her.

After the captain’s wife had left, Claudia glanced about her small cabin and already began to feel the pangs of loneliness engulf her. She walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge with a long sigh.
Am I doing the right thing?
she wondered.
Or am I just running away?

Looking up at the beamed ceiling, she thought of all the prayers she’d prayed over the last few weeks and the scriptures she’d read and found comfort in. She especially held on to the one that said the joy of the Lord was her strength. The vicar had told her joy didn’t mean happiness, but it meant having every confidence that God was with her at all times to see her through every trial.

He knew her pain and knew she desired to be that happy, carefree woman she’d been before Helen’s ball. Oddly, praying for Cameron and Aurora seemed to help her better accept her circumstances. She truly did hope their marriage would be happy and that his shelter would continue to flourish and meet the needs of more and more women and children.

One day, perhaps, she would be able to be friends with them, and their relationship would be reflected upon as a fond and distant memory.

At least she prayed it would be so.

A knock on her door startled her out of her musings. Thinking it must be either the maid or Mrs. O’Leary, she opened it, not checking to see who it was first.

She was staggered when she saw who stood there.

“Cameron!” she gasped, her eyes scanning him from head to toe as if to assure herself it was really he. He seemed extraordinarily handsome standing there in his grey vest and black pants and Hessians, smiling at her. His black cape was thrown rakishly over one shoulder, and she reflected that he looked much like Jean Lafitte had that time she’d met him. “What are you doing here?”

He reached out and took her hand, pulling her out into the hallway. “I’m not marrying Aurora,” he told her, shocking her even further. “She broke our engagement and has decided to marry someone else!”

Claudia could hardly believe her ears as he explained his and Aurora’s ending conversation. “But—the wedding—your guests!” she stammered.

“Aurora posted the cancellation in the
Times
yesterday,” he assured her. Still holding on to her hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it tenderly. “We have been granted a miracle, Claude, and I’m sorry if I am making an incorrect assumption of your feelings. But I was not going to waste another minute.”

Claudia’s heart sped up even faster at the implication of his words. “Your assumptions are not incorrect. My feelings are as they always were,” she assured him breathlessly.

His eyes softened as they searched her own. “I was afraid—” He paused and let out a breath. “Then you forgive me for not dealing with Aurora sooner? Had I not promised her I—”

She put her finger over his lips stopping him. “There is nothing to forgive, Cameron. You could not know what would happen. You must forgive yourse—” The ship swayed then, reminding Claudia of where they were. “Oh, no! The ship was readying to sail just now. We must get off, or else our reputations will be ruined forever.”

She started to turn toward the stairs that would take them up on deck, but he wouldn’t let go of her hand. “Wait, Claudia. It’s completely all right.” He reached in his vest and pulled out an official document. “I was able to get us a special license. Let’s go right now and let the captain marry us!”

Claudia was so surprised that she merely stared at the license as if it were a foreign object.

Then she realized what he was trying to say to her. “You want to get married? Now?”