A Glimpse of the Dream (16 page)

“Aren’t you supposed to be in the study, documenting or whatever?”

His nose went up, honest to God. He tilted his head so he could look down at me. Asshole. “I’ve recently been asked to perform another service.”

“Which is?”

“That’s between Mrs. Marks and me.”

She’d been in the hospital not taking visitors, so when the hell did he talk to her? Moving past that I asked, “And that requires you to be in this room touching everything like a child in a toy shop?”

His dark eyes turned darker, and a chill worked through me, since he looked evil in that moment. “As a matter of fact, it does.”

Crossing my arms, I leaned up against the doorjamb. “So have at it then.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, if you’re supposed to be here, then you won’t mind if I stand here and watch. I’ve always been fascinated with the law.”

His lips turned up in a snarl. “I don’t need to be babysat. I’ll return to this at another time.”

“I bet you will. See you around, Mr. Falco.”

Leaving the room, he glanced at me from over his shoulder and I was scared for a second, because he was not a good man. Why the hell would Mrs. Marks have him as her attorney? When I had a moment with her, I intended to ask that very question.

Sitting on the beach, I noticed a wire that ran from Kane’s island to the cliff just a few hundred feet from where I was sitting. I never saw that as a kid and, as many times as Kane and I played there, I would have. I wondered what it was? Could that possibly be the electricity? I always thought they ran that underwater.

I wasn’t behaving like myself; every time I saw Kane I turned into a shrew. Rude—I was acting unbelievably rude and I wasn’t generally a rude person, despite what I told Kane.

He hurt me; I was bitter. I understood my behavior, but I didn’t understand his. He owed me an explanation. After everything we had been through, he owed me that, and yet he didn’t seem to have any intention of giving me that despite the fact that Mr. Clancy said I needed to hear it. Was I going to have to pry an explanation from him? The thought was not a bad one. I’d love to inflict pain on him. He had it coming.

The other thought that constantly nagged at me was, what had I done to him to make him turn from me so completely? I had thought he had turned his back on the whole family, but it was just me he avoided like the plague. Yes, I’d been wrapped up in my schoolwork, but that couldn’t be what had caused his change, what had made his love turn into hate. I knew there was a fine line between love and hate, but I didn’t think it was so literal. And Camille. What the hell had that been all about? She was no different than she had been in school, so why was he now friends with her? Going to parties together certainly suggested they were friendly. It was like Kane was now the anti-Kane. I wish I knew what had happened to my Kane. Maybe he was being held in a cryo capsule in a spaceship orbiting our planet.

Mrs. Marks was doing better, but the docs asked if we could give her a few more days before we came for a visit. I was fine with that. She needed to recover, and that was more important than me getting in to see her, when she would more than likely not even know I was there.

Simon was on the phone in the study, working his magic on a few pieces in an estate sale he was tracking online. Feeling restless, I decided to head into town. The walk was both familiar and comforting.

Before long I was sitting on the pier that Kane and I used to visit all the time. Like when we were kids, my legs dangled over the edge as I looked out to sea. The water was so blue, and the way the sun reflected off it made it appear like diamonds on the surface. Seagulls flew overhead, their distinct cry echoing across the water. Kane wasn’t wrong about it being beautiful. I felt that bitterness again, because I really had wanted to call this place home too, but it wasn’t big enough for the both of us. Constantly running into him, especially with how dismissive he was to me now, would make living in Blue Hill hell.

A boat was pulling up, docking at the end of the pier. In the next minute, Kane appeared with Mr. Miller, the owner of the boatyard that Kane had worked at as a kid. My heart hitched to see Kane helping the older man from the boat, getting a flash of the boy he had been, the memory of him helping this very same man all those years ago when he was struggling with carrying too much. Why did he get to see the old Kane? Even that nurse—he had been smiling and laughing with her. Why did they get that and I didn’t?

I was up and walking down the pier before I could stop myself. Mr. Miller saw me and said something to Kane before he smiled and spoke to me. “Hi, Teagan. Welcome home.”

“Mr. Miller, you’re looking well.” For generations the Millers had run the boatyard, from the days when they built exquisite clipper ships to now where they did mostly refurbishing and maintenance. For a man who spent his days in the sun, his skin didn’t have that ruddy fisherman’s hue. Though he was balding, he looked at least ten years younger than I knew him to be.

“I’m getting old, but I do appreciate you saying that.” He flashed me a smile and placed a hand on Kane’s arm. “I’ll head up. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll join you in a minute.” Kane’s head turned in my general direction. “Teagan.”

“You don’t call me Tea anymore, why?”

He shrugged. That was the only answer I got.

“Why, Kane? I really need to understand why you’ve changed so much. What happened to you?”

“Nothing happened.”

“You’re not the same person you were. You’re cold and dismissive. Even though you don’t love me anymore, we were the closest of friends. And yet you can chat up other people, including that hag Camille. But with me you’ve not even attempted to explain why you left the way you did.”

His voice sounded hard, but he looked devastated. The contradiction unnerved me. “Let it go, Teagan. Just let it go. We’re not who we were. That’s over, so just let it be over.”

My temper stirred. “How the hell can you dismiss me like this? I’d like to get over you as easily as you did me, but I can’t until I understand what I did to turn you from me so completely. Why do you hate me so much?”

“Hate you?” Horror filled his expression. “I don’t hate you.”

“I disagree. You clearly don’t like me. I’ve been in town for four days, and you have not made one attempt to see me. I wish I could turn it off as easily as you have, I wish the sight of you didn’t bring back all the memories I’ve tried so hard to lock away, and yet somehow they still seep out to torment me. You and me forever, remember? Your idea and mine of forever are very different.”

He just stood there like I was invisible. I didn’t think my heart could break any more, but it did, the familiar ache burning in my chest.

“Please, just tell me what happened to you. What happened to my Kane? I miss him every day.”

“Let it go, Teagan, please just let it go.”

His refusal to answer me and the calm, almost callous way in which he addressed me caused my temper to spike and, with it, the words I longed to say just poured out. “You’re an asshole.” He jerked as if I had slapped him, and I saw pain cross his face, but I just didn’t care. “I never would have believed it of the boy I loved, but the man you’ve become is a big fucking asshole. You broke me, you son of a bitch. You left me shattered and alone and yet you can stand here and tell me to let it go. I’ve been in therapy for years and I’m still struggling to let it go. I hope whatever it was you needed to do, however you needed to find yourself, was worth the wreckage you left in your wake.”

I walked away that time, and yet somehow I was still the one hurt.

That night, I headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water before I went to bed. I had just reached the doorway when I heard Kane’s voice. Peering into the room, I watched as he came in through the back door, Zeus at his side. My gaze fell on the harness that Zeus was wearing, one I had yet to see him in, leather with a loop. It wasn’t much of a leash, but then I supposed Kane wouldn’t want Zeus having too much lead near the cliffs.

“Hey, Mrs. T.”

“Evening, Kane.”

“Did you bake me a cake?” he asked, which I thought was odd since there was a cake sitting on the one counter.

“I did. Triple chocolate, your favorite.”

“You’re the best.” And though he was trying to act happy, he was failing. Could he possibly be hurt from what I had said to him earlier?

“You want something to drink with it?”

“I’ll get it.”

Bitterness swelled in me. Despite the sadness that rolled off him, here was my Kane, acting completely normal with Mrs. T, but with me he turned into a cyborg. His hand reached for the cabinet, brushing over the door, before pulling it open. Walking to the fridge, he held his hand suspended for a minute before he pulled out the milk and poured himself a glass, his free hand wrapping around the rim. Moving to the table, his hand bumping along the top of each chair, he took a seat. Mrs. T placed a plate in front of him, the fork to the left of the plate. Zeus settled at his side eating his kibble.

“Delicious as usual.”

An alarming feeling of dread moved through me watching him, and then Mrs. T said, “Have you told her?” With those words, my focus shifted.

The smile he had just been sporting died on his lips. “No.”

“You going to?”

“No.”

“We’ve all kept quiet because you asked that of us, but she’s hurting, Kane. It’s not right, you keeping her in the dark like you are.”

“Pun intended?” he asked, but there was no humor in his tone, only anger, regret, and bitterness.

“Mrs. Marks intended to tell her. She called her and asked her to come. Mr. Clancy and I encouraged her to do it, but it should come from you.”

“Her life isn’t here anymore, she’s moved on just like I wanted her to do.”

“I think you’re a fool, and I think you’re being very unfair to that girl. She still loves you. It’s written all over her face. What if the shoe was on the other foot, Kane?”

He said nothing, only stood and started for the door. “She’s better off without me, Mrs. T.” And then he was gone, his dog following him out.

It was late. Anger burned, simmering under the surface, and with it, another emotion that was all consuming: disbelief. Everyone was asleep but me. I hadn’t noticed it when I came home from school all those years ago, too heartbroken to focus on anything but the pain he was causing me, but since I’d been home, the times I’d seen him, I could tell that something wasn’t right. And where my thoughts were taking me as to the cause was what brought on the disbelief.

Heading to the kitchen, I went to the cabinet to the spot Kane had brushed his fingers over earlier. Doing the same, I felt odd bumps on the wood, and looking closer revealed the transparent sticker. I didn’t know how long I stood there running my finger over it. Working my way around the space, I saw everything in the kitchen had one.

Pulling the refrigerator open revealed meticulous organization: milk in one section, yogurts in another, veggies and fruits, and each drawer had a sticker. And in that moment I knew my suspicion was correct. My knees buckled and I slid bonelessly down the cabinets to the floor.

The stickers were Braille, if I wasn’t wrong. Braille marking the cabinets, which were so organized, every item in precise position. The floor was free of any objects so as to avoid tripping. The wire that led from Kane’s island to the beach must be a guide of some kind. They added a fence and the railings on the path. And every time I’d seen Kane since I had been home, he had been with someone, and the harness Zeus had been wearing wasn’t for him but Kane. His lack of making eye contact and not shaking Simon’s hand. His house, when I’d come home after college, had been tossed. He had done that, done it out of frustration and anger.