A Good Dude (4 page)

CC was tall, about five inches taller than Rilla. He was light-skinned and handsome. He wore his hair in an Afro, which was puffed out today rather than braided to his scalp. CC wore khaki Dickeys and a white T-shirt. He didn’t have on any jewelry, but his arms and neck had enough decoration to catch anyone’s attention; his tattoos looked like a wall of graffiti.

“He’s getting dressed,” Candace said.

CC went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “How’d the show go last night?”

Candace walked to the living room and leaned against the back of the couch. “It was good. How come you weren’t there?”

“I was in Oklahoma.” CC came out of the kitchen chugging from a carton of orange juice.

“You’re going to drink all of that?” Candace asked.

“Naw. I’m just gonna take a few swallows and put it back in there. What you think?” He turned the carton up again, and his Adam’s apple bobbed like a fishing float. Candace wanted to punch the damned thing. She heard you could cause someone to choke to death with a well-placed blow to the throat.

“What’s going on in Oklahoma?” she asked. “Business.”

She stared at him and twisted her lip. CC winked at her and took the last swallow from the orange juice. He placed the empty carton on the counter and burped loudly.

“There’s a trash can in there,” Candace informed. “Where?”

“It’s right next to the refrigerator. I know you saw it.” He grinned at her. “That’s woman’s work.”

Candace was about to tell him where he could shove that damn carton when Rilla rounded the corner. He wore blue Dickeys with a blue T-shirt and white Chuck Taylors.

“What’s up, my nigga.” He greeted CC with a handshake and a quick embrace.

“You ready?” CC asked.

“Yeah. You talked to him already?”

“He’s waiting on you,” CC said.

Rilla patted his pockets. “Hold up. Let me get my pistol.”

“You straight,” CC said. “We already got this nigga waitin’ on us.”

CC headed for the door, and Rilla followed. He stopped to give Candace a kiss on the way out.

“You going to school today?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said, but something in her eyes made him linger.

“You okay, baby?”

“Where are you going?” she asked again.

“I’m just finna hook up with this connect. It won’t take that long.”

CC opened the front door. “Come on, old sprung-ass nigga.”

Rilla kissed her again and Candace was left in the apartment alone. She wondered, not for the first time, if maybe she should call her parents. Rilla was talented, but his criminal lifestyle took precedent over his music career. Rilla had always been a drug dealer who wanted to be a rapper, but lately he’d been content with just the drug-dealing side of it.

Ruining her own life was one thing, but Candace had another life to look after now. She wondered if Rilla would still love her if he knew she was pregnant.

THE CC CONNECTION

The gig was up two weeks later.

Rilla opened the bathroom door at 9:30 a.m. and found Candace on her knees, hanging on to the toilet. “What you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“You sick?”

“No,” she said, but a fresh wave of nausea belied this. Candace thought her stomach was depleted, but no such luck.

“What’s wrong with you?” Rilla asked. “
Ack
—nothing. Close the door!”

“You got a hangover?”

“Leave me alone!” Candace tried to push the door closed with her foot. The knob banged into Rilla’s forearm, but he didn’t send it flying back at her like she thought he would. Instead he stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind himself.

“I’ma let you do that cause you sick,” he called from the other side. “But you know I don’t be letting nobody hit me.”

“Kiss my ass,” Candace mumbled and wiped her face with the back of her hand. She lifted her head and waited, but the nausea receded. She flushed down the mess and brushed her teeth. In the mirror over the sink, she thought she looked like an old hag. Rilla was waiting for her in the bedroom when she got out.

He lay on his back with his head propped on two pillows. “You all right?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Them burritos messing with your stomach? They had me feeling sick, too. I told you not to buy no food from a truck. Them people don’t have no health license.”

Candace walked to his side of the bed and put a hand on the top of his head. She ran her fingers through his hair. Rilla gave her a pleasant smile.

“So you okay?”

Candace lifted her T-shirt up to her breasts. “Do I look fat to you?”

Rilla stared at her belly and then reached out and rubbed it. “You got a little pooch. It’s nice, though. I like it.”

Candace put her hand over his. “What if it gets bigger?” she asked.

“Big like what? Mine?”

“No. Bigger than that.”

“You plan to get fat on me? Is this, like a test? You wanna know if I would stay with you?”

“No, Raul. This isn’t a test. I’m definitely going to get fat.”

“What, you pregnant?”

She nodded and his eyes lit up like he took a hit of crack. He sat up.

“You pregnant?”

“I’m pretty sure,” Candace said, her eyes welling with tears.

Rilla still had his hand on her belly. He stared at her stomach and rubbed it as if he could feel the infant inside.

“You sure? How you know?”

“I haven’t had my period,” she said, “in
three
months.”

“
Three months
? You took a test?”

Candace nodded. “Two weeks ago. It was positive.”

“Why you didn’t tell me? Is that what’s wrong with you? That’s why you throwing up?”

She shook her head and shrugged. The tears streamed down her face. “
I don’t know
.”

Rilla’s smile faded when he looked up at his woman. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s bad, Rilla. Everything’s going so bad.”
She held her arms to her sides and sobbed uncontrollably. Her whole body shivered.

Rilla jumped out of bed and held her close. She put her head on his chest. “Why you crying?” he asked.

“ ’Cause I don’t know what to do.”

“What you mean?”

“I don’t know how to take care of a baby. I don’t know how to have a baby. I don’t know how to go to the doctor. I don’t know anything. I just, everything’s bad. It’s all bad.”

Rilla looked like he was going to cry now. “You not excited?”

Candace thought that was pretty ignorant. What was she supposed to be excited about? She had no job, no family. Her boyfriend was a rapper-turned-drug-dealer. They didn’t even have medical insurance. In the back of her mind, Candace knew it was all possible, girls much younger and less educated than her had babies every day. They got government aid and lived off the system and everything was just fine and dandy.

But Candace knew nothing about that lifestyle. Combined, her parents made more than a hundred thousand a year. They taught her so much, told her so many times not to end up in a situation like this. Candace’s body ached to call them, but how could she now? She knew how that conversation would play out:

Hey, Dad? Yeah, It’s me. I know. I missed you, too. Hey, um, you remember that rapper I ran away to be with? Yeah, well, guess what? He got dropped from his label! Yeah. I know. You were right. But wait, there’s more. He had to come home to Overbrook Meadows. Yeah, that’s in Texas. Yes, I’m here with him. I know, but wait, there’s more: He started selling drugs when we got back here, and now he’s a full-time dealer again. And before you cut me off again, there’s one more thing: I’m pregnant. Yeah?
 . . . .
Yeah?
 . . . .
Okay
 . . . .
Well, I kinda figured you’d never want to see me again, but I thought I’d check anyway. What’s that? Okay, I promise I’ll never call again. Well, thanks for listening. Bye—huh? Oh, yeah, I love you, too.

“What’s wrong?” Rilla asked again.

“I don’t know what to do,” Candace whined.

“It’s not gonna be that bad. We got some money.”

“
I don’t know nothing about raising a baby, Rilla
. I don’t even know how to change a diaper. You’re not rapping anymore.
You sell drugs
.”

“That’s what it is? You think you not gonna be a good mother?”

“I don’t think
we’re
going to be good parents.”

“Why? Cause we ain’t got a lot of money laying around like yo daddy?”

“It’s not that.”

“Good. ‘Cause my mama didn’t have a lot of money, either, and I turned out just fine.”

Candace would have laughed at that if her unborn child wasn’t the butt of the joke. “Rilla, I don’t want to bring a baby up in
this
. When we came back here, you said you were going to get your music back on track.”

“I am.”

“It’s been eight months. All you’re doing is selling crack.”

“I gotta put a roof over our heads.”

“I know, but—”

“Who put the food in the refrigerator? Who bought your car?”

“Rilla, I know you did.”

“So all of a sudden I can’t take care of you now? Is that what you saying?”

“No. I know you can take care of
me
. I’m not talking about me.”

“I can take care of the baby, too. Candace, I’m excited about this. I always wanted a little Raul running around. You can’t be happy, too? You ruining this for me. This ain’t how it’s supposed to go.”

That brought on a fresh wave of sorrow.

“Candace?”

“
It’s bad, Rilla.
”

“It’s not,” he said. “Look at me.”

She did, but couldn’t get her eyes to focus.

“Baby, I understand what you’re saying,” Rilla said. “You came from a whole ’nother lifestyle. And I know you’re scared. But
I’m
not. I wanted a baby for a long time. You’re not by yourself, Candace. I’m gonna be here for you. And Trisha can help, too. She got three kids. You know she knows how to change a diaper.”