A Hand to Hold (26 page)

As a kid he’d visited his grandparents’ farm in Holmes County, and he’d always enjoyed it, but this was different. Now he felt connected to the land. He loved soaking up the sunshine while working in the field. Spending the end of the day looking across the pasture, listening to the cows lowing and the chickens clucking as they settled in for the night. Breathing in the fresh air, feeling the warm, soft earth in his hands. All that filled him with happiness, much more so than working as a carpenter in a wood shop. He’d never been dissatisfied with his work as a carpenter until now. And the more he thought about it, the more he wanted a farm of his own.

But he knew that dream was far off. He had a lot of hurdles to overcome first. He’d have to save up enough money to purchase the land. God wasn’t going to drop a farm in his lap. Then he’d have to tell his father he was leaving the family business. That would be harder than anything he’d ever done, and he wasn’t sure he could go through with it. He had to put the matter to prayer before he made any decisions.

As he drove, he also thought of Deborah. She hadn’t been far from his mind since his last visit to the farm, and putting his confusing feelings about Deborah into prayer was more difficult. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her. He liked her, a lot. He also respected her and admired how she took care of her son and her father. Her nurturing nature appealed to him. It didn’t help at all that she was pretty and seemed to become more so each time he saw her.

The special order for bookcases had come at a good time, because while he missed working on the farm, it gave him time to figure out what to do about Deborah. He had to honor her wishes. If she didn’t want him to help her, he wouldn’t. He’d focus on Moses and the farm exclusively, no matter how hard it would be.

When he turned his buggy into his usual parking place, he saw that the Coblentzes’ buggy wasn’t there. He wondered if anyone was home. He’d never come on a Saturday, but he’d gotten the time off from the shop to make up for the days he’d missed at the farm. Working so many hours this week had taken its toll on him, and he had to admit he was pretty tired. But once he stepped out of the buggy, a cool blast of air refreshed him, and he was ready to dive into work.

Stephen walked inside the barn and checked on the animals. They were all fed and content, so he headed for the back of the pasture to check on Moses’ progress on the fence. He hadn’t been back there since he’d first started helping at the farm, as Moses always said he had the repairs under control. But after he’d stamped through a field of shorn timothy grass, he came to the fence and frowned, noticing that the rips in the wire hadn’t been touched. He walked farther along, inspecting the fence, until he reached the very back of the pasture. Not a single repair had been done.

Stephen scratched the back of his neck. What had Moses been doing all this time back here? It didn’t make any sense. Had he run out of fencing, or out of money to buy it, and hadn’t mentioned it to Stephen? If that was the case, he wasn’t all that surprised. But still, he wished Moses would’ve said something. Stephen would have bought the materials himself if he had to.

Some needle-nose pliers and a little elbow grease could fix a couple of those holes. Stephen turned to head to the barn to get his tools, but something caught his eye several feet away. He went to investigate, and as he neared the dark form, he realized it was a person. He sprinted forward when he recognized who it was.

When Deborah heard Stephen’s buggy approach, she gripped the handle of the broom tightly and kept right on sweeping. Her palms started to sweat, and she forced herself to keep her back to the barn until she finished the chore. After the porch was swept cleaner than she’d ever seen it, she leaned the broom against the railing. At that exact moment, Stephen left the barn and walked out to the pasture. She couldn’t help but watch him as he went, his long stride and confident gait mesmerizing. She snapped herself back to reality and went inside. It was safer there. She didn’t have to worry about seeing him again.

But what was she supposed to do in here? Naomi had cleaned every single inch of the house, so she didn’t have any housekeeping to do. She’d finished her laundry yesterday, since Naomi only washed her and her father’s clothes on Mondays. All the canning was done, and the breads had been baked for the week. She thought about picking up her knitting, but she wasn’t in the mood. Maybe she should go work in the garden. There were always weeds to pull. But then she’d probably see Stephen again, and she didn’t want that. At least she tried to convince herself that she didn’t want to see him.

She plopped down on the couch in the living room and saw a copy of
Family Life
magazine on the coffee table. She thumbed through it and set it back down. She missed Will. A glance at the clock on the fireplace mantle told her he wouldn’t be home for another hour.

Deborah sat there for a few moments before her eyes drooped. She stretched out on the couch and was just about asleep when the screen door burst open. She sat up and saw Stephen rushing in, her father in his arms.

“Daed?”
She jumped up from the couch. “What happened? What’s wrong with
Daed
?”

Stephen laid her father on the couch. His skin was ashen, and she couldn’t tell if he was breathing. She whirled and faced Stephen, fear climbing in her throat. “What’s wrong with him?” she shrieked.

“I don’t know! I found him lying by the fence when I went out there.” He looked at Deborah, his chest heaving up and down. “Call an ambulance!”

Deborah ran to the call box at the end of their drive. She knew a doctor who made house calls; she’d call him first. Fear tried to numb her legs and thoughts. Would her father be okay? She couldn’t take it if she lost her
daed
too.

Deborah hugged her body as she stared out of the picture window in their living room. It was dark outside, and there were no street lamps by their house. All she saw was her own shadowy image reflected back at her, with a background of inky darkness behind her. Worry coursed through her, so strong she could barely contain it. The doctor had arrived quickly after Deborah’s call. Just before his arrival, her father had regained consciousness, and at the doctor’s request, Stephen had helped
Daed
to his bedroom. The doctor was in there now, examining him. Deborah knew she should be grateful that he was awake, but until she heard the doctor say her father was all right, she couldn’t let go of her dread.

Adding to her worry was the fact that Will hadn’t returned. Elisabeth should have been back with him by now. What if something happened to her baby? The thought brought tears to her eyes and compressed the air out of her chest. She couldn’t even find the words to pray.

“Deborah?”

She turned at the sound of Stephen’s voice. He had disappeared outside after helping
Daed
to the bedroom. Now he walked toward her, concern etched on his features, weariness creasing the corners of his dark blue eyes. She automatically went to him, drawn by his compassion.

When they were inches from each other, they both halted. He looked down at her. She breathed in the faint scent of hay and animals. It was a smell she’d grown up with, one she never minded and found comforting. They looked at each other for a long moment, not saying a word. Then he held out his arms to her. Without hesitation she walked into them.

“He’ll be okay, Deborah.”

Stephen’s soft voice cloaked her like a warm quilt on a frigid day. She wanted to believe him. But the longer the doctor stayed in the room with her father, the more the doubts set in. “I can’t lose him,” she said, choking on the words.

“You won’t. I prayed that it wouldn’t happen.”

She stepped back and looked up at him. “You prayed for him?”

He nodded. “Just now. While I was in the barn.”

She marveled at how he was able to pray to God when she wasn’t able to.
“Danki.”
A tear rolled down her cheek.

He reached out and brushed it off with his thumb, then jerked away. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She looked up at him, moved to the core by his gentleness. There wasn’t a single man kinder or gentler than Stephen Byler, she was sure of that. And right now she needed that feather-light touch more than anything.

Stephen knew he shouldn’t have touched Deborah. The gesture of wiping her tears was meant to be innocent, to offer comfort. Yet the emotions churning inside him from that brief contact were anything but innocent. Her skin was so smooth against his thumb. And now she was embracing him. Out of her own grief, he knew. But deep inside he wished she were embracing him for a different reason. She smelled sweet, the scent of the outdoors still in her hair. Powerless to stop himself, he stroked her back, and leaned down and rested his cheek on top of her head.

The front door opened and she jerked out of his embrace. “Will?” she cried, spinning around.

His arms were still stretched out in front of him, feeling empty, his body suddenly cold from the absence of her warmth. He saw Naomi come through the door. She froze, staring at them.

“What’s going on here?” Her disapproving gaze traveled from Deborah to Stephen. Her eyes were cold, her tone frosty.

“
Nix
,” Deborah said, going to her. “Naomi—”

“You were hugging him.” She snapped her eyes to Stephen, distrust radiating from her. “I saw you. Don’t deny it.” She glared at Deborah. “I can see he’s helping himself to more than the farm.”

Deborah clenched her fists. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I think I do.”

Stephen could feel his blood pressure spike. No wonder Deborah had been so distraught over Naomi. The woman was meaner than a ticked-off bull. But before he could say anything, Deborah moved closer to her sister and spoke.

“Listen to me, Naomi. Something’s happened to
Daed
.”

Naomi’s flaming red cheeks suddenly paled. “What?”

“He’s in the bedroom now with the doctor—”

Naomi shoved past her, hurling a black glare at Stephen. “What did you do to him?”

Stephen held out his hands. “I didn’t do anything—”

But she had already moved past him, too, heading straight for her father’s bedroom.

“Naomi, don’t
geh
in there.” Deborah started after her. “The doctor is still examining him.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” She spun around and faced Deborah. “If something happens to him, I will never forgive you. Ever!” Naomi hurried away in a flurry of anger.

Stephen’s ears burned from the woman’s words, and he wasn’t sure they were even directed at him. He looked at Deborah, who seemed more weary than shocked. He started to go toward her, but stopped, unsure he’d be able to keep a safe distance from her.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that.” Deborah crossed her arms over her chest, maintaining space between them.

Before he could respond, there was a knock on the door. Deborah turned around and opened it. Elisabeth stood on the front porch, holding Will, who was asleep on her shoulder.

Deborah cried out with relief. “Where have you been?” She took the sleeping child from Elisabeth’s arms and hugged him close, then began to walk away.