A Haunted Heart (2 page)

Stepping into my nearly uninhabited house, robbed me of the slight smile I’d carried the rest of the way home. TJ was right, I deserved to smile, but the regret and guilt of not being with them prevented me from moving on.

The toy-cluttered floor was easy for me to maneuver. I’d know the path blindfolded. The books weighed heavy in my arms, and I tossed them into the chair. 

The blinds and curtains had been drawn for ten months and when I twisted the pole to open them, dust scattered in several directions then settled again. I immediately glanced outside. Even with all the gossip flying around about the ‘new, hot, construction worker’—never did I give him a second thought. But today…  

Tears, which had been absent for so long, drowned my eyes. A panic gripped my chest and made it difficult to breathe. The attraction I felt to this man brought an overabundance of emotion and shame—especially since we’d only said twenty words. Through murky eyes, I peered out the blinds across the street at the construction site.

Nerves tingled inside my chest with the thought of seeing him again. When I spun around, our family picture caught my eyes. My Jack and Michael…their distinct blue eyes twinkling. Michael. My first and only love. Why did it feel as if I was being disloyal to him when I thought of the construction worker who made me smile, if only for a second?

No one had made me smile for so long. As I wiped the dust off the pictures, I realized that for the past ten months, I’d been an empty vessel, disabled and abandoned—floating through my days with hope of merely existing. Desperately praying for memories that torturously faded day by day.  Smells had deserted clothing and bedding; I was left with nothing but a gaping wound of loss and mental tears.

As I stared at my front door where the police entered that night, it hit me that the ‘move on’s’ and ‘I’m sorry’s’ from the townsfolk had dwindled. When I walked through town, I know I was the lady who had gone crazy and spent time in the psych ward at the hospital after trying to kill herself. I held the honor of keeping the town entertained with gossip. And for fuck’s sake…I was the woman who wouldn’t decorate for Halloween.

But today…today was the first flicker of hope for any sort of normalcy that I’d felt in months. My heart skipped a beat as I stood in the middle of the room where three hundred and three days ago life as I knew it was shattered. My heart skipped another beat and I interpreted that as a sign—a sign that as dead as I’d been living…I was indeed alive.

Sunday afternoon, I met some guys at the high school for a quick pick up game of football. I could outrun, outwit and outplay any of them. Not one knew me outside of…”Adam the construction worker.” Darrell, the contractor on the house we were building, had invited me to join their game.

I knew each of them—where they grew up, where they went to high school, every woman or man they’d put their dick in over the past five years. I knew their backgrounds, arrest records and professions. They didn’t give two shits about who I was. Just the way I liked it.

The wind bit into my uncovered legs. Clearly shorts were not the best idea.  With the falling temps, everyone was cold, so we called it quits earlier than normal. Knowing TJ was taking credit for shit he
didn’t
do pissed me off and proved that he was a liar.

“So Teej. You nail her yet?” Darrell asked finishing his Gatorade.

TJ cocked his brow. “Do you not think I’d have told you if I had?”  TJ took a 9mm out of his athletic bag and we all took a cautious step back.

My piece was in the truck and my neck ticked back and forth measuring his dumbass, irrational moves.

Darrell tossed the bottle into the trash and laughed, apparently blowing off his friend’s level of crazy.

Darrell spoke again, “Ten months, buddy. You ever given a woman that much effort? And put that thing a way you crazy fuck.”

With his tongue, TJ licked down the barrel of the gun simulating a sexual act.

“It’s gonna be fuckin’ sweet when I do though. Bang the hell out of those cobwebs. Take possession of her. Every inch of her.”

My gut wrenched at his words.
Assfuck!

The other guys laughed like this conversation was typical.

“What the hell ever, I saw Melissa climbing out of your police cruiser two days ago wiping her mouth, so it sure is hell ain’t like you be goin’ without,” Tony said, punching TJ in the shoulder and causing the gun to drop and hit the bench. Instinctively, I darted out of the way anticipating a misfire. No one else flinched.

The corners of TJ’s mouth slid up as his chest puffed out. I take it he was proud of his conquest with this Melissa girl.  

“Whatever,” Darrell chimed in. “Melissa sucked my cock two weeks ago.”

Images of the high school locker room flashed before my eyes, and I couldn’t believe 30-year-old men were talking like this.

“You can have Melissa and her dirty mouth, but you take one step toward Anna and well…we don’t want two murders in this town within a year now do we?”

Though TJ smiled, playing it off as a joke, there was undoubtedly truth to his words. He eyeballed me as if I was a threat. He didn’t know the half of it.

“You’d kill for her huh?” Darrell asked, starting to walk away.

“A. She’s got a lot of insurance money. B. She’s a damn doctor. C. She has a pussy that needs fucked more than anyone I’ve ever known. Plus she was mine once. So…possibly.”

I chuckled out loud. Mainly because in all my years, doing what I do, I wasn’t sure I’d met a bigger piece of shit. No wonder her eyes lit just a little when I spoke to her—if this is what she’d dealt with for ten months.

“Text me next game,” I hollered over my shoulder as I tried to disappear. The more I stayed off their radar, the better.

Once in the truck I drove the twenty minutes to the bar, watching behind me for a tail. Two cars passed me when I intentionally slowed, and I watched as they drove out of sight.

Mac’s car was already there. I parked away from his and went in.

Two middle-age men played pool, an older man sat at the bar alone and a younger couple sat in a booth watching an NFL game. Mac eyeballed me from across the dark room and nodded toward the jukebox.

After playing some music, I joined him sitting across the table.

“We good?” I asked.

He nodded. “What’cha got?”

I shrugged. “Not a lot yet. Playing football,” I said staring at the big screen on the wall. “Made contact. Positive.”

“We have two new missing dogs.”

My eyes shot up.

“Puppies or dogs?”

He took a long draw on his beer then licked the foam off his upper lip. “Young dogs.”

“Has the vet been notified?” I asked.

“Yep. We don’t believe they are in this area. Yet.”

Certainly not the news I was hoping for. I released a frustrated breath.

“Just keep your eye on her. We’re adding additional surveillance.”

“Alright,” I bobbed my head then got up and walked out as quickly as I’d come in.

My pants were open but not down as I watched her sway on her porch swing. Night had set in and my windows were tinted. As I held my dick in my hand, I stroked slowly up and down thinking about her mouth.

Eighteen. My senior year. That was the last time I’d tasted that mouth and I would taste it again. She’d never sucked me off before, but I’d watched her do it to Michael once. My eyes closed as I imagined her sitting next to me. I remembered the warmth…the sweetness.

Too many nights I’d sat here watching her just like tonight. While continuing to stroke, I thought about getting out of the car, walking over there and taking her.  Observing her swing back and forth in the swing—I decided the first thing she needed was my tongue tasting her…dipping into her. I smiled as I thought about her crying out my name.

“Ahhh,” I cried out myself in the car as semen inched up ready to spew.

Jesus. My mouth watered thinking about her tight, little pussy and how long it had been for her. She needed me. All of me. I closed my eyes for a second imagining sliding into her, thrusting my hips urgently back and forth as she screamed.

I grabbed the towel from the seat next to me and laid it over my stomach.

“Anna,” I grunted out pumping my fist wilder.

Images flashed through my head faster than I could keep up. Grabbing fistfuls of her hair and forcing her head down to take all of me. Spewing down her throat as she gagged and fought—trying to come up. My balls tightened and released then tightened again as I panted, ready to blow.

“TJ, please,” she would beg, and as I shot the most pleasurable load onto the towel on my stomach, I knew I wouldn’t let her come up for air until she had milked me for every last drop.

As my breathing returned to normal, I smiled in her direction, aware that she couldn’t see me, but smug in the realization that someday that reality would be ours.

The damn wind was cold again today. I hated winter and September was way too early for this shit.  I drove into town because one of our men spotted Anna on the move. The girl walked everywhere…I’m not sure why yet.

 As soon as I turned off Main Street, I saw her beautiful chestnut hair whipping in the wind. Her hair was down? Wow. It was never down.

I lifted my foot off the gas, allowing my truck to slow. She carried flowers and a drink from the coffee shop. I decided to park the loud diesel and follow her on foot. By the time I pulled over, got out and hoofed it to find her, she was crossing over to the cemetery. Clouds settled low over the hill making it eerie as hell.

This was the eleven-month anniversary. I knew that. Hesitantly, I trailed her, and once she found her knees in front of the tiny little headstone, I stood against a tree and watched.

“Hey buddy,” she said animatedly. Thankfully the wind carried her voice. “I brought you a hot chocolate since it’s getting cold. I know how much you love these. So,” she said resting her head against the stone for a second. “Even though I don’t like Halloween anymore, I was thinking you would be the cutest 3-year-old super hero.”

At that moment, I committed to memory the tone of her voice because in all the times she’d spoken, I’d never heard such a musical sound—happiness radiated from it. Then as quick as that, she was weeping.

“I’m so sorry, Jack, that I said no to superman last year,” she cried. “I had put so much time into the lion costume and I’m sorry. I’d let you be anything you wanted this year.”

Her hands caught her face when she lowered her head.

The suffocating feeling in my chest made me…uncomfortable. Every part of me felt the need to go to her…to hold her… but I stayed back. Getting emotionally involved was a downfall. I’d never fallen victim to it thus far. I wouldn’t now.

She took a long, slow breath—maybe trying to calm herself.

“Oh Michael. Why? What really happened that night?” Anger echoed in her voice. “I don’t believe you did the things they say you did.”

Those words got a brow rise from me. Maybe she really didn’t know.

A solid ten minutes ticked past before she spoke again.

“I met someone…well, sort of.”

Hearing those words, I closed my eyes, trying to listen more intently.

“Seems silly, really. I’ve only met him once, but he made me smile, Michael. He hates Halloween…that must be a sign, right?”  Tears again.

As cocky and confident as I was, this knocked me on my ass.
Jesus lady. We exchanged twenty words. It wasn’t that big of deal.

“I know I’m jumping the gun because all we did was chat for like 10 seconds, but Michael. This made me realize I want to be held and touched. Maybe not even sexually, I don’t know. I just need to feel. Please don’t be mad at me.”

When my cock fucking twitched, I made up my mind that I was the sickest, coldest bastard ever. She was at her kid’s damn gravestone for fuck’s sake. I dragged my hand the length of my face, wishing I could take back the feeling inside.  The fog rolled closer and within thirty minutes, it would swallow us.

A harsh wind picked up and I’d bet money she was freezing her ass off.  As I watched her kiss the tombstones of both her husband and son, I realized cold, hard stone is the only thing she’d probably kissed in a year. 

Once back in my truck and sadly reaching a new low even for myself—I became fully aware of her vulnerability. I slowly edged up next to her as if I’d just stumbled upon her and rolled down my window.

“Is it crazy I was just thinking about you?”  I shouted out the window.

Surprise and shock flitted over her face before she composed herself and smiled.

“Adam,” she breathed out my name in a rushed whisper and wiped her teary eyes.

“It’s pretty cold. Want a lift?”

Her head instantly shook no. “What are you doing?”

“I had to run some errands and was just headed home. Get in. I’ll run you by your house.”

Another shake of her head, but she stopped walking so I pushed the brakes and unlocked the passenger door unsure of her next move.

“I don’t know where you live. Is it out of your way?” Her brows darted up in question in the cutest way.

“Well now, ma’am, this entire town is about two miles wide, so I suspect that it’s not too far out of my way.”

After cocking her head sideways, she approached the truck, her chin barely topping the window. She grabbed hold of the door handle.

“Promise never to call me Ma’am again and I’ll get in.”

She smiled outwardly…but her swollen, red eyes told a different story.

“Ma’am is proper,” I explained.

Watching her trying to lift herself up into the truck, I mentally noted that next time she would need help. She closed the door.

“Proper for elderly perhaps. How old are you,
sir
?”

We both smiled and this time her smile was brilliant—the best smile in the world.

“I’m 27. And would it be improper for me to ask your age?”

I already knew she was 31.

“It’s not improper. I’m 31. God that sounds so old.”

A shiver rippled through her, so I turned the heat up a notch.

“You are not old. Home?”

Her slight hesitation gave me hope, and then she offered the tiniest of shoulder shrugs.

“I don’t know. Home unless you have a better suggestion.”

“Actually, I do.”

With that, I gave the truck some gas and drove. The twenty-minute drive left me quietly contented. Neither of us spoke. But it wasn’t awkward—not even in the slightest.

“Is this a strip bar?” she asked as we pulled into the same gravel parking lot from earlier.

A deep guttural laugh from me broke out in the truck. She giggled too.

“You seriously think I’d bring you to a strip bar? This isn’t a strip bar, but it is a bar. I figured the town has enough to gossip about…they don’t need us on their list. I found this place a while back.”

The depth of her brown eyes was immeasurable as I stared into them. They were staring back at me with an unreadable desire—my heart found a pretty Goddamn uncomfortable rhythm. 

“Shall we go in?” I asked.

She nodded, and I jogged around to her side of the truck.

“You looked like you struggled getting in,” I teased. “So I thought I’d help you getting out.”

“Yeah, us
elderly
have problems with these trucks.” She pursed her lips.

Once inside, I made the worst decision yet. With my hand resting at the small of her back—where it fit perfectly, I led her to a booth in the corner. This put my mind in the gutter again. She slid in, and I scooted in across from her.

“What can I get ya?” a cute little waitress in a cut off T-shirt asked, staring at me with eyes that screamed ‘fuck me.’
That
was the typical reaction I got from women.

“I’ll have a beer,” I said, and then waited for Anna to say something.

“I haven’t had a drink since…forever. Um. I’ll have a beer too.”

The waitress winked at me as she left. I’d straighten her out.

“You ok?” I asked, noticing Anna scanning the bar.

Her eyes closed as she inhaled. “I think so. Just acclimating I guess.”

“Acclimating?”

“Yes. Of sorts. May I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”  Poker face prepared.

“What do you know about me?” Her eyes focused on me…waiting for my words.

“Well Anna…the lady across the street.” I grinned at her. “I know there are several construction workers who think you are hot as hell, but for some reason we don’t think you date.”

Instantly, her gaze left mine and fell to the table where the overly flirtatious waitress was delivering our drinks.

“There you go, handsome,” she chimed in.

“Don’t do that,” I ordered dutifully. “I am here with a beautiful woman. If you approach this table again, you will treat her respectfully.”

The girl’s mouth opened but no words came out.  Fine by me. She left.

“Sorry about that.  What else do I know? Well, I know that you don’t drive much at all because I see you come and go…walking. I know that you live alone. I know that you appear sad most of the time.”

Tears pooled in her eyes.  This was not what I had foreseen happening. When she swallowed, it looked painful. Was she shocked at how much I knew about her?  Truth is, I knew more about her than she knew about herself.

“I also know that after we spoke the other day, I wanted to talk to you again. I know that I’m glad you got in my truck. I know that I’m nervous as hell at this second.”

Nothing could have prepared me for the shock I felt when she took my hand from across the table. Her fingers were frozen, and without reservation I quickly tucked her hands into mine; her eyes captured mine as well.

“Would you dance with me?” she asked simply but not really in a flirtatious way.

“Yes.”  I released only one of her hands, took a long pull from my beer and stood, leading her behind me to the dance floor.

Once on the empty floor, she draped one arm over my shoulder, and I held her other hand close to my chest praying she wouldn’t feel my heart pounding. 

Jesus Stroud. Get a grip.

“Adam?” she whispered but loud enough to hear over the music.

Looking down at her needy brown eyes was dangerous territory to venture into. But I proceeded with caution.

“Are you here because you know about me…I mean…about what happened? Are you doing this because you feel sorry for me?”

This woman had endured what no woman should ever suffer—the tragic loss of a child. And though I did feel sorry for her that was not why I was here.

“No.”

She released her pent up breath.

“Why would I feel sorry for you?” I asked.

Her finger found a small hole in my T-shirt. I’d forgotten what I had on and my attire was pretty raggedy.  When the tip of her finger made contact with my skin, I stared down at her, but she concentrated on my chest. Her index finger penetrated the hole of the shirt until her entire palm lay flush with my chest. Her eyes closed as she stood next to me holding her breath.

I think I was her guinea pig…her testing ground. This was moving a lot faster than I’d anticipated. Her touch stirred something inside me, and it took every ounce of training I had not to react in a way I shouldn’t.

“Adam?”

“Yes?”

“Do you do this a lot?”

“What’s that?”

“Lure women you don’t know out to a country bar. Take advantage of them?”

My brows arched up. “Is that what I’m doing?” I twirled her out beneath my arm then back up next to me as the slow tune continued.

“You tell me,” she said with an playful tone.

This time when I spun her out, I yanked her back with force that slammed her against my chest. “Do you want me to take advantage of you?”

She softly laughed but lowered her forehead to my chest. Her incredible feminine smell made me harden.

“Look at me,” I demanded.

“Do you want to kiss me?” she asked and her voice cracked. I about shit my pants. That was the last question I would have predicted would come out of her mouth.

Her flawless, chocolate eyes with feathered out beautiful lashes begged me to do so as I raked my hand up her boney back and into her russet mane of hair; I fisted my hand around her strands tugging just a bit to give her fair warning—hoping she’d reel in her year-long desires. She barely knew me!

“Yes. But not here particularly,” I nearly growled, hoping I could control my own wants.

“Ok.  But promise nothing more than a kiss.”

I nodded just once.

“Can we go?” she asked. Neither her actions nor her words indicated she felt threatened by me, and I needed her to always have her guard up…not just for me.

It was me who swallowed what little argument was brewing in my head and led her to our table where I dropped a ten knowing that would amply cover the tab.

Once we got to the truck, I gently pushed her until her back rested against the door. Her small chest heaved up and down with little pants. This woman was classy…sophisticated and me shoving her up against a truck door to kiss her would hopefully show her my true colors and intentions.  

Everything about her seemed little. Her nose. The tiny little freckles I hadn’t noticed until I was this close. Even her tongue, when it peeked out between her perfectly rounded, freshly moistened lips. No wonder TJ wanted this woman and had threatened to take her.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I barely brushed my lips over hers. Leaning back to observe her reaction from the simple peck, I watched as her hand covered her chest as if she was trying to control her breathing.

Her heated eyes slowly opened and burned into mine—a dangerous fire.