A Healing Heart (2 page)

We had lived here when I was younger, yet I only had a few memories of the town. Right after my brother was born, my parents packed us both up and moved to northern Oregon. My dad had gotten a new job, better pay, and away we went. Most of our extended family was in Southern California, but Oregon wasn’t too far, and we had gotten to see them all quite a bit over the years.

Pulling into the driveway at school, I parked my car, grabbed my backpack, climbed out of the car, and locked it. English was my first class for the day, and I started walking quickly across the parking lot. I was unzipping my backpack to throw my keys in, not paying much attention to the direction I was going, when I walked right into a wall, or what sure felt like a wall. My keys flew out of my hand, landing loudly on the asphalt. Startled, I gasped and looked up at what had stopped my forward motion so suddenly.

Deep blue eyes looked down intently into my face. It wasn’t a wall; it was a classmate, Collin McKenna. He gracefully leaned over, grabbing my keys where they had fallen, barely missing his foot. Collin had just moved into the area the past fall and mostly kept to himself. I didn’t know much about him because the only person he spent time with was Quinn Wakefield, the brother of my friend Natasha. Rumors about him were in abundance, and most of the girls in the school were after him, but he didn’t seem to be much into the social scene.

“
You should pay a little more attention to where you’re going,” he stated as he held my keys out.

“
Sorry,” I muttered, reaching to retrieve them.

As he placed the keys in my hand, his fingers lightly brushed my upturned palm, and I felt a tingle race up my arm. He abruptly turned around and walked briskly in the opposite direction.

“
Lovely,” I thought to myself. What a complete idiot I was; I needed to pay more attention to my surroundings. I finished securing the keys in the pocket of my backpack and started toward my English class. Just before I reached it, Mia came running up to me, her shoulder-length blond hair bouncing. Her brown eyes sparkled with humor.

“
Hey, are you okay?” she asked, almost laughing.

“
Yeah, why?”

“
I saw your little collision with Collin.”

“
Oh, that; it was nothing. I just wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“
Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say! Gotta get to U.S. History, I’ll see you at lunch!” With that, she turned and walked in the opposite direction as I stepped into my English classroom and took my seat near the back.

The day sped by in a blur, but I was relieved when it was over. After lunch, dark clouds had rolled into the area and a cool breeze had picked up. It smelled like rain was in the air. Most of my friends dreaded the rain, but not me; it reminded me so much of Oregon, and I always welcomed the wet weather. I drove back to my aunt and uncle’s house; it still wasn’t “home” to me, and I doubted it ever would be. Upstairs in my room, I pulled my books out and sat down at my desk, opening my window to let the cool air drift inside. I was going to get a head start on some of my homework before Mia and Natasha came to pick me up. The three of us were going to a movie tonight and planned on stopping at the downtown coffee shop where a lot of the kids from the high school hung out.

* * *

Sitting at my desk, I was working on my history paper, my iPod flipping through some of my favorite study music, when Mia’s text message came through on my cell phone.

be there in 10

I shut my books, pushed the chair away from my desk, and went to my bathroom to run the brush through my hair and touch up my makeup. Grabbing my cell phone off the desk, I left my room and went downstairs to wait for Mia and Natasha to arrive. On the way out, I sent a quick text to my aunt to let her know where I was going for the evening. Mia pulled up in her green Civic, I climbed into the backseat, and we were on our way to the movie theater. A light mist was starting to fall and wet the streets, just as I had thought would happen earlier in the day.

We got to the theater, bought our tickets, and went in to see the comedy that Natasha had picked out. I never really cared what movie we saw; it was just nice to get out. When the movie was over, I had to admit that Natasha had indeed picked out a good one as we all laughed through most of the film. Piling back into Mia’s car, we drove into town to the coffee shop.

After getting our coffee and a piece of coffee cake that we were sharing, we found a table outside under the patio cover, where the outdoor heat lamps were toasty and watched the people walk by. Sitting there, sipping my warm drink, I glanced across the street as the auto parts store was closing down for the night. The cashier inside had his back to the front door, but as he turned to lock the door, I realized it was Collin. I wondered how long he had been working there. I’d never really noticed before, and my friends and I came here a lot. With it being dark outside, I was pretty sure he couldn’t see me staring. I had never paid much attention to him before, but now, for some strange reason, I felt an urgency to find out more about him.

The next thing I realized was Natasha waving her hands in front of my face. “Hello? Are you listening?” Natasha sat there with a grin on her small heart-shaped face. Her long, curly black hair was tossed casually over her shoulders, while her blue eyes watched me intently.

“
Sorry, what was that?” I quickly asked.

“
I just asked if you were still baby-sitting tomorrow night,” she repeated.

“
Yes,” I replied, trying to focus back on my friends. “Why? I don’t think I’m needed until later in the afternoon. What’s up?”

This time it was Mia who chimed in. “We were going to go do some shopping before spring break was here and just wanted you to come with us.”

“
That’s okay, I’ll pass this time. I really need to finish my history paper before Monday, and I think I’m baby-sitting on Sunday too.” I really wasn’t much up for shopping this weekend. Natasha was going with Mia on her trip to Mammoth, and I knew they would be shopping for ski accessories.

Across the street, I noticed the lights flick off, and shortly after, I heard a car start up. The deep rumbling of the exhaust could be heard as it moved from behind the building toward the street. As the white car pulled out, I couldn’t quite tell what year it was, but it looked like a Camaro.

My dad had been into cars, watching TV shows and reading magazines about all the sports cars. He was always interested in finding the newest parts that would produce more horsepower. Some of the information had rubbed off on me when I would spend time with him in the garage as he worked on his latest project.

The Camaro turned in front of us, and my eyes caught the startled gaze of Collin as he drove away from town. Our eyes made contact for only a split second, yet it had seemed forever. I quickly dismissed it and focused back on my friends’ banter as they discussed their systematic approach to shopping the following day.

We finished up our drinks, and after hanging out for a while, it was time to go. On the way home, the rain steadily increased and had become a full downpour by the time we arrived at my aunt and uncle’s house. Grabbing my jacket, I flung it over my head as I ducked out of the car, ready to run to the front door.

“
Thanks, guys! Have fun tomorrow! I’ll see you Monday!” I called to them as I slammed the car door shut and bolted as fast as I could to the front porch.

I pulled my keys out, and unlocking the front door, I let myself in as Mia pulled away from the curb, both friends waving as they drove off. The house was dark and quiet, which meant my aunt and uncle were still out for the night.

Shaking out my wet jacket, I slung it over the back of a chair in the kitchen and went upstairs. Reaching my room, I pulled my clothes off and grabbed my comfy flannel sleep pants and matching cotton T-shirt. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I grabbed my iPod that was still sitting on my desk and lay down in bed. I grabbed the book that was lying on my nightstand to read for a bit, hoping it would help me fall asleep.

That night as I tossed and turned through my ever-present nightmare, there was a new twist. This time in my dream, instead of sinking into complete blackness, I was staring into startling blue eyes, and there was a hand held out, trying to pull me out of the darkness.

CHAPTER TWO

S
aturday
morning dawned clear and sunny. White puffy clouds had replaced the dark ones, and everything was still wet from the downpour during the night. I rolled over in bed, pushing back the covers, and hit the off button on my alarm, surprised that I had actually slept until the alarm went off. Getting out of bed, I walked to the window and opened it to allow the fresh rain scent to blow into the room. I loved that smell, and I stood there for a minute with my eyes closed just enjoying it. Leaving the window open, I turned away and went to get ready for the day. Today I was baby-sitting little Riley Howard. He was a cute, spunky two-year-old that always kept me on my toes. His mother, Eileen, was my aunt’s hairdresser and was a widow. Her husband had been killed almost two years before while overseas in the marines. I had an instant bond with Eileen the first time I met her. The losses we had both suffered at almost the same time, gave us a kinship that I had not expected. Riley would never have any memories of his dad. I, at least would always carry precious memories of my family, with me in my heart.

Just thinking about Riley made me smile. I was glad the sun was out this morning. Maybe there was still a chance I could take him to his favorite place, the park. I finished getting ready and went downstairs to grab a quick breakfast before driving over to the Howards’ house.

After parking in front of their small Victorian, I got out of my car and went to the front door. As I opened it and went inside, I heard Riley yell from the upstairs, “BAIWEY!” I smiled. That was as close as he could get to my name.

Setting my backpack down, I waited as he carefully maneuvered the stairs. This was a new accomplishment for him. He’d been going up for a while now, but going down had been a bit more difficult. He got to the bottom step and then ran full speed for my arms. I grabbed him and swung him around.

“
Hey, Riley.”

Eileen appeared at the top of the steps and smiled as she came downstairs. “Morning, Bailey. It’s going to be a long day for me; I might not be home until close to seven p.m. Is that going to be okay? I know it’s a Saturday night and you probably have plans. I can try to get my neighbor to stay here if you have to leave.”

“
It’s no problem, really. I don’t have any plans tonight. It’s just Riley and me. We’ll be fine,” I said as I set Riley back down on his feet and he took off running. “I was thinking of taking him to the park this afternoon if it dried out. Is that okay?”

“
Sure, that would be great. Riley will enjoy that,” Eileen said as she gathered up her purse and keys. “Riley, come here and give me a kiss before I leave.” she called.

Riley came tearing around the corner He’d picked up a fire truck and had it in his hand as he leaned over to give his mom a big kiss right on the lips. “Bye, Mommy. Wuv you.”

“
Bye, buddy. You be a good boy for Bailey, okay?”

“
Okay.”

“
Alright. Well, have fun today. I’ll see you guys tonight. Bye, Bailey, thanks!”

“
Bye, Eileen, we’ll see you later.”

As Eileen left the house, I snagged Riley again in my arms and carried his squirmy little body to the kitchen to feed him breakfast. After eating a banana and some yogurt, we were off on our activities for the day filled with lots of trucks, stuffed animals, and some of his favorite cartoons.

After lunch and his nap, it had dried out enough outside that I figured we could try the park.

“
Are you ready for a trip to the park?” I asked him.

“
Yeah! Park! Park! I wanna go to the park!” he shrieked.

Laughing, I bundled up his diaper bag and we went out to my car with his car seat. After buckling him up, I drove the short distance to his favorite park. I pulled up and was surprised at how many other people had ventured outside today. Parking in the small lot, I got him out of the car and we walked toward the play equipment. It didn’t take long before Riley was off and running with the other kids there. He was always so social and made friends wherever we were.

There were several benches scattered around the area with good visibility of the play area. I picked a bench out in the bright sun and sat down. There were a couple of other moms sitting together watching the kids play.

A cute little girl with curly, shoulder-length black hair was playing by herself in the sand. Riley had wandered right over to her and promptly sat down, startling her. “Hi,” he said.

She looked up and seemed to pull back a bit. “Hi,” she said, so quietly I wasn’t quite sure she’d even said anything.

Riley smiled and started to play with her, chatting away the whole time. Half of what he was saying didn’t make sense, but the little girl didn’t seem to mind. After a while, she relaxed and even shared some of her sand toys with Riley.

The pain of remembering my little sister Brooke was starting to lessen a little. The initial stab was still there, but it wasn’t as incapacitating as it had once been. Brooke had been four, probably about the same age as the little girl that Riley played with. Anytime I saw a little girl so close in coloring and features, it brought back memories. I tried to push them back into the safe haven in my heart. I knew that my family would always live on in my memory and heart, but it was still hard to deal with them being stripped from me. I turned my attention back to Riley as he played and I sat soaking in the warm sun on my face. It was a peaceful day, and I was determined to allow myself to enjoy it.