A Heart to Heal (13 page)

Tasha held up her hands. “I can't talk to you when you're like this. I don't understand why someone as gorgeous as you has low self esteem. You need a therapist.”

“To tell me what? My mom has told me I'm just as no good as my dad for as long as I can remember. I lost my virginity after getting drunk at Homecoming. Since half the town already thought I was as trifling as my dad, people easily believed I broke Devin's heart for fun.” She sighed and turned back to the window. “I already know why I'm messed up. As long as I exude confidence — no matter how fake it may be — if people buy it, I'm cool.”

“You left out a whole lot of other issues in that list of yours. What happened after — ”

Shayla squeezed her eyes shut. “Stop, Tasha, please. It's over.” She gripped the heart charm around her neck. She'd done what was necessary after Homecoming and then refused to discuss it ever again.

“Fine. You want to act as if everything that happened was nothing, go right ahead. Although, I should knock some sense into you.”

Other than Devin, Tasha was the one person who took her for what she was, and told her the truth. It was one of the reasons she loved her. Despite Tasha's strict family lifestyle — a Baptist preacher father who refused to speak to his pregnant daughter until after Jared married her — she never judged Shayla. Tasha always listened, gave her a shoulder to cry on and a kick in the butt when she needed it.

Shayla pasted a smile on her face. “Don't think I won't hit you because you're pregnant again.”

Tasha laughed. “Bring it. I'll still whip your ass.”

Shayla joined in the laughter. Their moment was interrupted when Tasha's husband walked in. Jared was tall with smooth brown skin, handsome features and a body well honed from years of personal training. Shayla couldn't hide her surprise when his eyes lit up after seeing Tasha. Not because Tasha wasn't completely loveable, but to see the former playboy still look like a lovesick teen one year after their marriage.

Tasha grinned. “Hey, you're home.”

He rushed over to help her out of the rocking chair and kissed her forehead. “Yeah, we played a few games before Devin and Malcolm agreed to come over and watch the game. Malcolm can't wait to hold his niece,” he said, referring to their first child.

Shayla tried to smile past the lump in her throat. Devin was here. Crap, she'd forgotten he and Jared were friends. Well, maybe not forgotten, but she wouldn't have expected him to be here today of all days.

Tasha giggled. “Malcolm's going to be disappointed. My mom and dad picked her up earlier so I could get a break. She'll be back later.”

Jared frowned. “Are you okay? Do you feel bad?” His hand went to her stomach. Tasha had mentioned that Jared was concerned when she'd gotten pregnant so soon after their daughter was born. Luckily, her health was good. Shayla's only advice was for her and Jared to stop screwing like rabbits. Tasha said that was out of the question.

Tasha shook her head. “Not at all. Those were their words, not mine.” She looked at Shayla. “Besides, Shayla came over to keep me company.”

Jared smiled. “What's up, Shayla. Good to see you.”

“Same here, Jared.”

Tasha patted his chest. “Did you say Malcolm and Devin are here?”

“Yeah, I hope that's not a problem.”

Tasha shook her head. “No problem. Did you know Devin and Shayla went to high school together?”

Jared looked at Shayla. “For real? Cool, come down the hall and watch some of the game with us.”

Just the thought of seeing Devin so soon made her palms sweaty. Shayla waved her hand. “I really gotta get going.”

“No you don't, you just got here.” Tasha said. She smiled at Jared. “Go on, we'll join you in a second.”

He looked between the two, before shaking his head. “Okay,” he drew out the word. “Whatever you two are up to, I don't want a part of it.” He playfully swatted Tasha on the butt before running out of the door, dodging her swing at his head.

Shayla rushed over to Tasha. “I can't face him.”

“Yes you can, and you will. Tell him the truth.”

“It doesn't matter — ”

“Yes it does. You've loved Devin since high school, maybe now's your second chance.”

Shayla's lips twisted as she gave Tasha the side eye. “I thought you stopped believing in fairy tales and romance.”

Tasha grinned. “That was when I thought Jared was walking out on me and our baby. But since the day he put it on the line and asked me to marry him, I'm all roses and hearts again. I'm going to the den,” She picked Shayla's keys off the dresser and dropped them in the pocket of her dress, “and you're going to join me.”

For the first time in Shayla's life she contemplated assaulting a pregnant woman. She took a deep breath, wiped her hands on her jeans, smoothed her hair, and plastered on what she hoped was a nonchalant smile before following Tasha.

Devin didn't have time to absorb Jared saying Shayla was visiting Tasha before the two joined them in the upstairs den. He stared like a fool as she breezed into the room and smiled graciously as Tasha introduced her to Malcolm. Devin knew Malcolm was happily married, but it didn't stop jealously from churning in his gut when Malcolm's gaze quickly ran over her.

He couldn't blame Malcolm. Shayla looked like a burst of spring in the middle of fall. Her pink shirt had a v-neck that drew Devin's eye to her cleavage, her black leather jacket accentuated her small waist, and she must have poured herself into the tight jeans she had on. He sat there mesmerized by the way her high heeled boots caused her hips to sway as she walked. When she finally met his eyes he was fighting back memories of her legs wrapped around him, her soft moans as he entered her, and the way she'd become putty in his hands. She, on the other hand, gave him the same serene smile she'd given Malcolm and Jared. There wasn't a hint in her expression that she was thinking about that morning.

He rejoiced and inwardly groaned when she sat next to him on the small leather sofa. She sat sideways, one knee curled up on the chair, the other leg stretched out in front. “What's up, Devin?” she said resting her elbow on the back of the chair and supporting her head in her hand.

Her lips curved in a teasing smile, tempting him to kiss her. The scent of her perfume drifted over him, and although it excited him, he preferred the way she'd smelled earlier, when the scent of his body wash mingled with hers. Despite himself, his dick grew hard and he leaned toward her. Desire — remembrance — flashed in the brown depths of her slanted eyes before she looked down, hiding it with her lashes. But it was enough to send hunger rushing through him.

He didn't know what to do. He wasn't used to sex-only relationships. Should he follow her lead and act as if it were nothing, when all he wanted to do was rush her out of Jared's house and find out what she was thinking before losing himself within her silky walls again?

He didn't know how long he stared at her before he became aware of someone standing over them. He turned to face Jared's raised eyebrow and knowing smile.

Jared waved a brown beer bottle in his face. “Want one?”

“Yeah, sure.” He snatched the beer from Jared.

“Can I get one?” Shayla asked. She looked at Tasha, “Unless you mind. I don't want to leave you the only one not drinking.”

Tasha crinkled her nose. “I hate beer. Please, don't mind me.”

Jared handed Shayla a beer. Devin stared as she screwed off the top and her lips wrapped around the edge of the bottle. She drank slowly, her lips tugging and pulling along the rim. When she finished, her tongue glided around the edge before she licked the moisture from her lips and smiled. What was his asinine reason for stopping her from doing the same thing to his dick earlier? Right now, his need to control the sex seemed unimportant with the thought of her lips wrapped around him.

He tore his eyes away, looking anywhere but at her. He caught Malcolm watching them and glared back. Malcolm smiled and looked away. When he looked at Jared, his friend was grinning. A “go for it” look in his eye. Damn, he'd have a hard time escaping their jokes later.

He shifted in his seat and stared at the announcers talking on the big screen television. “When will the game start?”

Jared laughed. He sprawled back in a recliner, Tasha beside him in a matching one. “We got a few minutes. So, Shayla, tell us about Devin in high school.”

Devin groaned and shook his head. “No, Shayla, don't tell him anything about me in high school. He'll only use it to blackmail me later.”

“Damn right,” Jared said.

Shayla laughed and shifted closer in the chair. “Well, Devin was always the sensible one.”

“Boring,” Malcolm said, “he's the sensible one now. Tell us about the non-sensible things he did.”

Shayla grinned. “I wish I could give you more, but I can't. If you were about to make a dumb decision, or had made a dumb decision, he wasn't afraid to point it out.”

Malcolm sighed. “Always was, and always will be, the voice of reason.”

Devin pointed at Malcolm with his beer bottle. “Hey, you appreciate my honesty.”

“Most of the time,” Malcolm said with a smile.

“Boring,” Jared said.

Shayla held up her hand holding the bottle. “He wasn't boring. He had fun and partied with the rest of us, but he knew when to throw in the towel and say ‘that's enough'. He kept our clique out of a lot of jams … most of the time.”

Jared shook his head. “Okay, you gotta give me something. I've been looking for dirt on this brotha for years.”

Devin faked a wounded look. “I'm hurt.”

“Well,” Shayla said. “He did wear braids.”

Jared laughed. “What? Dr. Jones with cornrows?”

Malcolm joined in. “Hell yeah, I remember. You had braids our first year of college.”

Devin rubbed his head. “Hey, man, quit laughing. I might bring them back.”

Shayla reached over and ran her hand along his head sending heat through his body. His hair was long enough for her to pinch it between her fingers, reminding him he needed a haircut. “I like your hair longer.”

He met her eyes and she slowly lowered her hand, her fingers brushing against his earlobe as she pulled away. “It was always soft when I braided it.” Her words were spoken quietly, he doubted they heard it across the room, but it was as if she'd screamed the way they bounced within his head.

“What are y'all whispering about over there?” Jared asked.

Devin cleared his throat and looked at his friend. Jared and Malcolm shared a glance and Devin bit the inside of his lip. They were going to dig into him for every detail about his relationship with Shayla. While he'd happily offered advice to them when needed, he wasn't thrilled with the idea of receiving any. He trusted his friends, but baring his innermost feelings with them wasn't what he did. He was the giver of guidance, not the recipient.

Shayla scooted away. “I was just telling Devin that it's time to come clean about his secret.”

Malcolm sat forward. “What secret?”

Devin raised an eyebrow and looked at Shayla. “Yeah, what secret?”

She grinned. “About your hip hop dance lessons.”

Devin groaned and rolled his eyes as Malcolm, Jared, and Tasha burst out laughing.

“I can't believe you remember that,” he said.

Shayla pushed his shoulder lightly. “I remember everything. And you can't expect me to forget driving with you to Columbia twice a week for hip hop dance lessons.”

“Wait a second,” Malcolm said. “Why were you taking hip hop dance lessons?”

Devin's face burned with embarrassment and he threw Shayla a ‘you will pay for this' look that was only met with a grin. “For half a second, I thought I wanted to dance like … ”

He didn't finish. Jared and Malcolm both leaned forward. “Like who?”

“Usher,” Shayla said with a laugh. Everyone broke out in laughter again. He held his hands out as if he would choke her. She shrieked with laughter and batted his hands away. He joined in and sat back, taking their barrage of jokes before the game finally started.

He wanted to take Shayla over his knee for telling, but had to admit she'd effectively distracted everyone from their relationship and eased the tension between them. She didn't like football, but she cheered for the Atlanta Falcons with Jared and Tasha, against him and Malcolm who cheered for the Carolina Panthers. She was the life of the party, telling jokes, making people laugh and have a good time.

She didn't curl up against his side like she had at the club. The way she'd done when they were growing up. He missed it.

He stared as she jumped up and gave Jared and Tasha high fives after Atlanta scored. How did she do it? The tears in her eyes after they had sex were real, so was the longing. He'd hurt her when he said they couldn't be together, yet she still teased and joked with him as if his words meant nothing. The same way she'd played along as Tony's willing girlfriend after he took advantage of her.

His jovial mood evaporated. He knew the real Shayla, or had known her, but after Homecoming was forced to interact with the public Shayla. The Shayla who wanted to please the crowd and went along for the ride. She'd rather pretend as if the people close to her hadn't hurt her than acknowledge how much they did.

He used to think he'd never hurt her; that he had her best interests at heart, but he didn't. He'd wanted her, known it was wrong to have sex with her after she'd just described the way Tony used her, but still he'd thrown better judgment to the wind and took what she offered. Then planned to move on and forget that having her in his arms was like having a piece of him he didn't realize was missing replaced. It had slipped out the moment he'd seen her in Tony's arms after Homecoming and slid back the moment she rounded the bend in Hangman's Woods.