A House of Cards: Deconstructing Ethan (19 page)

“Please may I cum?” I heard, as I started to recover and I sat straight up in the bed.

“What did you say?” I asked him breathlessly. “I said I’m going to…fucking…uhhhhhhh…Ethan…” he cried as he followed suit, grunting and swearing as he climaxed. Idly, I wondered if he was messing up his pristine white shirt.

“Shit…” he panted and I was brought back sharply to the conversation. Wondering what I had imagined would have to wait, I didn’t want to give him any indication at how unsettled I was. “That was fun.” I gave a breathless chuckle. “Though, I haven’t had to dive for Kleenex in a long time. I have a change of clothes here, but still.” My mind was still reeling. I could understand the fantasy – I was a Dom, that’s what turned me on. But…what about mishearing him?

“That was fun,” I agreed.

“I’m really looking forward to Friday night, Ethan,” Gabriel said and I heard him moving around, probably redressing for his next meeting.

“I am too,” I told him honestly. I was looking forward to getting out the house just as much as I was looking forward to seeing him.

“What time?”

“How about right after work? We can hang out by the pool until we’re ready to start the grill, maybe have a little wine?” he asked tentatively. “That sounds great, I’ll be there about five then. “

* * *

“I’m glad they decided to go with your firm, you deserve the recognition,” I chuckled, remembering his exuberant call on Monday afternoon. Apparently, the presentation had gone well and the Board of Directors had made their decision earlier. I pulled my trunks on and sat back on his bed. In anticipation of returning there later, I had tossed my bag up near the pillows. He caught me checking him out as he finished changing and raised an eyebrow at me, the beginning of a smile forming. Shrugging, I stood up, following him out the door and through his house to the pool in his backyard. Gabriel jumped in first and, without further consideration, I jumped into the deep end. It felt fairly analogous, Gabriel already in the pool and me jumping into the deep end – kind of like our relationship. I just hoped that I would be able to swim.

While Jayden’s indoor pool was an extravagance that he and Lexi used only on occasion, Gabriel had been a swimmer in high school and college. When he first told me about it, I was fascinated by his excitement on the subject. Apparently, it was something Gabriel loved and was passionate about and he was sharing it with me. It made me feel even worse for not telling him about my lifestyle.

The
lifestyle
.

That night, I would most likely be breaking one of my most fundamental rules, engaging in a sexual relationship outside of my relationship with Jayden and Lexi. For their protection and mine, it was a rule that I set with each and every sub I had ever collared. Although, it wasn’t exactly the same because we had no formal agreement, no collars, but it
felt
like I was breaking the agreement.

Gabriel broke me from my thoughts by swimming up beside me. Side by side we swam several lengths back and forth across the pool. Gabriel could have easily outpaced me, but instead he kept pace with me, more interested in proximity than competition. That’s one of the things that I really liked about Gabriel, he didn’t feel the need to constantly prove himself. We floated on our backs for a while in the late afternoon sun. It was nice to just relax with him, to have an unstructured evening, where we could just be comfortable together.

That contentment came crashing to an end when I pushed up onto the side of the pool to get out and I heard Gabriel gasp behind me. Quickly, I turned to sit on the edge of the pool and face him. He jumped up beside me, his face anxious and troubled.

“Gabriel, what…” I began to ask, but he put his hands on my shoulders and I felt them trembling. Gently he turned me so that I was facing away from him. I was mildly alarmed by his behavior until I felt his fingers gingerly touching my back – then I understood. I knew my session with Dominique had left scars, I just hadn’t thought about it when I took my shirt off. I thought back, wondering how he had not seen them before. During our intimacy on the couch, my back had been against the cushion. When I had got up and redressed, he had been answering the door. Earlier when I had changed into my trunks, I had been facing him. When I’d jumped into the pool, he was already in. He’d never had the opportunity to see them – until now.

“Are they from…Did he…” he stammered, unable to even form the questions he wanted to ask. I knew what he wanted to know; he thought that my captor had tortured me. I had no doubt that he would be sickened and repulsed by the truth.

“No,” I told him softly, turning around to him once again, but I just couldn’t look him in the eye. I spoke quietly to my lap, “The pain it…it helps me to forget for a while.” We were silent for a long moment. Then I felt his fingers under my chin. I looked up to meet his eyes and found that they were wet. Somehow, I didn’t think that was from the pool.

“There are better ways to forget, Ethan,” he said in almost a whisper and slowly got to his feet. I thought for a moment that he was leaving, but then he held out his hand to me. I took it without hesitation, thankful that he had offered it. He could just as easily have called me a sick fuck and gone in the house. He led me through the back door and up the stairs to his room. My weary gaze followed him as he went to get towels. When he returned nude, but dry, he stood in front of me and pulled my trunks down slowly, watching my eyes as I stepped out of them and he tossed them to the side. While he continued to kneel in front of me, he dried my legs in long, slow strokes. Next he moved to my hips and my buttocks, being careful not to make his touches sexual. He rubbed down my back, my stomach and my shoulders. Finally, he started to towel dry my hair.

He was so gentle, his touch full of the emotions he had not yet expressed to me. I felt…loved. All of a sudden, it was too much, reached up, grabbed the towel and flung it to the floor. Taking him into my arms, I pressed my lips tightly against his – over and over.

The guilt over the talk I kept postponing bubbled in my chest, but it was not the time. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed his hard body against mine as I moaned into the ever deepening kiss. He pulled back slightly, still wrapped in my arms and pressed his lips to my neck.

“Make love to me, Ethan,” he whispered into my ear as he pulled me onto the bed. A shiver ran though me and I nodded, turning so that I could capture his lips with mine once more. Quickly, I reached for my bag as I knelt in the middle of the bed. Facing away from me, Gabriel straddled me, his legs on the outside of mine. I rolled on a condom and then used the lube to get him ready. Taking a little of the excess, I stroked him and was rewarded with a lazy open-mouthed groan as he reached back and up to gently fist the hair at the back of my head. He pushed back slowly and I held my cock steady with my hand allowing him to lower himself onto it. As I felt the head of my cock gently penetrate him, I wrapped my other arm around his waist and pulled him to me. His head fell back on my shoulder as he began to move.

I released my cock and lightly put my hand on his chest, his other hand was on my thigh. We were entwined. It was hot and raw in our need to connect with one another. It was futile in some respects because there were things about me that he may not ever understand, but it was effectual in others. That warmth radiated through my chest, that feeling that was always with me, just under the surface. The need to connect was effectual because it fueled in me the desperate desire to never see that shocked and wounded expression on his face again. Finally, it forced me out of my dominant mode and into one of gentle affection. Caressing his chest, as he continued to work himself on me, I turned my head and kissed his neck as my hand slid down his stomach slowly to wrap my fingers around his cock. I stroked him, listening to his moans, his cries and realized he was right. It
was
a better way to forget. His unspoken devotion to me filled in some of the cracks in my much abused soul.

I felt his muscles in his stomach, in his ass, in his legs, clenching and releasing each time he drove himself onto me. Turning my head to the side, I kissed his cheek and he turned to capture my mouth with his wild, hungry kiss, his breathing uneven as he moaned into my mouth. I pulled back slightly and kissed his cheek again, then his neck, my hand on his cock moving harder and faster over his skin.

“Oh, God….” he moaned breathlessly.

“Does that feel good, baby?” I asked him, pressing my hand harder against his chest, pulling him tighter against me.

“Yeah…” he moaned softly, almost in a gasp. Then he took his hand off of my thigh and wrapped it around mine, squeezing his cock with my hand, he moved our hands faster. I felt his body start to tighten, he was getting so close. That thought excited me even further and I slid my other hand down from his chest to stroke between his widely splayed thighs. His movements on top of me became jerkier, losing rhythm as he got closer to his orgasm. Finally, I pulled my hand from between his legs and put it on his hips, stopping his motion. I pulled my other hand out from under his and put it on his other hip. Holding him tightly, I drove my cock up and into him as he cried out and continued to stroke himself. It wasn’t long before his other hand tightened in my hair, almost painfully, as his head pushed back into my shoulder. I watched as his semen shot onto his hand, my thigh and the bed. His grunts and cries became unintelligible as his orgasm ripped through him.

The way his body tightened around my cock, coupled with his uncontrolled cries, brought me to that brink much faster than I thought possible. I held his hips steady in my hands, stroking his soft skin with my thumbs, grinding him back harder on me with every thrust. My head fell forward onto his shoulder as I held back trying to prolong the moment, hold off my impending orgasm, but I found I was unable. I exploded inside the condom buried deep within him, moaning and swearing as I filled it. My whole body tightened and I took my hands from his hips, wrapping my arms around his waist as I came hard.

We stayed like that, joined together, for several minutes as we caught our breath. Then Gabriel collapsed onto the bed on his stomach. I chuckled and disposed of the condom into the wastebasket beside the bed. Then, I laid down next to him and opened my arms. He moved over to me and laid his head on my chest. Turning his head slightly, he kissed my bare chest and wrapped his arm around my middle. With content, he sighed.

We laid in each other’s arms for another hour or so. I found that when Gabriel suggested that we put the steak on the grill, I was reluctant to leave his arms. When I told him, he beamed and then chuckled, pulling me to my feet. He walked over to his dresser to find something to wear. The sight of him walking naked across the room was beautiful to me. Following, I wrapped my arms around his waist and put my chin on his shoulder.

He relaxed back into me and then I said softly, “You were right, that was a much better way to forget.”

Chapter 11

It had been three days since Gabriel and I made love and I was more confused than ever. Since he’d seen the scars on my back, I had a suspicion that Gabriel might be alright with my lifestyle. I didn’t know how we would cope with some of the things that I still needed from that type of relationship, but it
seemed
that he would at least hear me out, which encouraged me to work up the confidence to talk to Jayden. With two hours until dinner, I assumed Jayden would be available for a talk, so I went down to the kitchen where I found him and Lexi at the kitchen table. An irrational anger clenched in my chest when I saw that she was in his lap and they were smiling and talking quietly. With all my suspicions about her relationship with Connor, how could she still lead Jayden on? When she pushed a lock of hair off his face and kissed his forehead, I cleared my throat to get their attention.

“Jayden, can we talk?” I asked in a low voice.

“I’ll go start setting up,” Lexi told Jayden before getting off his lap, but continued to hold his hand until she was a few feet away. The adoring look on her face made me a little nauseated. I stepped away as she passed and her adoring look turned to one of surprise and question. My attention refocused on Jayden as I sat down at the table.

“Ethan, we are just about to go into a session. Can we talk after? I know we do need to talk, but at least we’ll be more relaxed,” he said and his face broke into a soft smile. “I’d like for you to join us. Will you?” I thought about that for a minute. I didn’t think it was a good idea for me to get further involved with Jayden until we had talked, but unfortunately, my mind was still chaotic and I knew that a session would help me focus -to face what was coming. I agreed and he put his hand on my shoulder to follow him upstairs.

When we entered the playroom, Connor was already in position on the floor. I looked at Jayden, wondering what role he wanted me to play today. He gestured for me to join Connor, so I stripped out of my clothes and assumed a submissive stance on the floor next to Connor. I didn’t look at him, nor did I look at Lexi, who had positioned two sawhorses, almost end to end, near the center of the room. Jayden stood in front of Connor and stroked his soft hair.

“Greet your Master properly,” he told the boy and Connor kissed slowly up from Jayden’s bare feet to as high as he could reach on Jayden’s chest without standing. Jayden leaned forward and kissed Connor on the forehead, telling him he had done well. Then, he moved over to me. Standing directly in front of me, he tilted my chin up. For a long moment, he looked into my face.