A House Without Windows (23 page)

“Yeah, well. I’d only just found out about him.” Joss felt somewhat relieved that his father hadn’t mentioned the counterfeit money episode.

“I’d have gone there too if it were me.  Amy and I had been sworn to secrecy since we were kids.  We were told never to mention your dad to you at all.”

“Well, now you can because I’ve found out about him.  What a prick he is as well.  You don’t know how lucky you are, having a dad that’s normal.”  Joss felt another stab of envy go through him, and he kept his gaze down on the carpet.

“At least you get to live with my dad.  I’ve grown up without him mostly.”  Toby sighed and looked serious for a moment. “As a kid I’d have given anything to live here with him.”

“Really?”  Joss looked up, surprised.

“Yeah.  All my friends had dads except me.  Mine was always three thousand miles away.”

“What about Mike?”

“What about him?”

“Don’t you get on?”

“I gave him a hard time, growing up. He wasn’t my dad and I never got the feeling that he actually liked me.  Then Mom had Trisha and I always felt left out.”

Joss looked at his stepbrother and suddenly saw a kindred spirit:

“Jeez.  Are we fucked up or what?”

“You bet your sweet ass, little brother.  Well and truly fucked up.”

“I bet I’m more fucked up than you are.”

“Yeah.  What a little fucker!”

They looked at each other, and Joss threw a pillow.  Toby ducked, caught it, and took a well-aimed return shot, hitting Joss square in the face.  They both laughed, and suddenly Joss had the feeling that perhaps the following week would not be so hard to endure after all.

CHAPTER 58

“Amy’s sent a text to say her train will arrive at Norwich in half an hour. Do you two want to come with me to meet her?”

Joss looked up from trying to get his fingers in the right position on Toby’s guitar to make a decent C chord:

“I’m grounded, Dad.  Don’t you remember?” 

“I’ll make an exception for your sister’s sake.” 

“Ok.  Can we go bowling afterwards?”

“Now you’re extracting the urine.”

“I’ll go.”  Toby took the guitar from Joss and gave him a playful punch. “Come on little brother, it’s time to meet the brains of the family.”

“Yeah, well it’s certainly not me.  I’m the twat of the year.”  Joss whispered behind his father’s back and gave Toby a return punch.

Liam pulled up in front of the station just as the train arrived.  Amy greeted them all with a flurry of kisses and a waft of expensive perfume:

“Dad!  So lovely to see you!”  She threw her arms around her father’s neck.

“We’ve missed you so much!”  Liam smiled as he did a quick double-take; incredulous at Amy’s resemblance to her mother.

“When is it my turn?”  Toby laughed and looked at his stepsister fondly.

“Right now!”  Amy gave him a hug and then turned her attention to Joss, who tried unsuccessfully to dodge the kiss that was coming his way:

“My, my!  Every time I see you you’ve grown a little bit more!” 

“You should know why, doctor!”  Joss, embarrassed and undemonstrative by nature, found himself blushing.

“Not yet; still a student.  Another year to go.”  Amy pulled the corners of her mouth downwards and grimaced.

“You’ll get there; you’ve got enough brains for all of us.”  Joss looked at his beautiful sister with her long blonde hair flying in the stiff March breeze, and felt yet another wave of jealousy overcome him.

“Come on.  Mom’s got some lunch ready.”  Liam stowed his daughter’s bags in the back of the Range Rover, and started up the engine.

“How’s the band going, Toby?”  Amy turned around in the front seat and looked over her shoulder, as Liam manoeuvred the car out of the approach to the station.

“Great.  We’re signed now and getting a lot of interest; got some festivals to play in the summer, and a couple of arena gigs supporting some big bands.  I might even be earning enough from it soon to be able to afford to leave home.  I’m sure Mike’s looking forward to that!”  Toby grinned and caught his father’s eye winking in the rear view mirror.

“My girlfriend’s even heard of Kick and Scream, so you must be doing well.”  Joss wondered if he would ever match up to his sister and brother.

“You’ve got a girlfriend?  You must be growing up at last!”  Amy laughed and turned towards Joss.

“Yeah.  Her name’s Tara.  She’s cool.” 

“I’d like to meet her.”

“You will at Christmas.  I’m grounded.  She’s not allowed round at the moment.”

“Yes, I heard about that.”   Amy looked at her father, who maintained a tactful silence.

“Glad to be able to keep the family entertained.”  Joss fought down a wave of irritation.

“Mum and I have to find something to talk about on the phone.  My life’s boring at the moment; all study and nothing else.  You’re the one doing all the exciting things.” 

“Yeah.  Welcome to my world. It’s a laugh a minute.” 

With the short journey home completed, Joss stepped out of the Range Rover as his mother opened the front door:

“Amy!  So lovely to see you!  Now I’ve got all my family around me!” 

Joss watched the two women embracing, and felt the special bond between them; such a close bond that he would never be a part of.  He felt apart from all of them; there was not only his darker colouring to contend with, but also his growing disinterest in academia. He somehow felt drawn to practical skills. He was beginning to enjoy his woodwork lessons, and by his own admission had made more than a passable effort in building a bird table for his mother’s forthcoming birthday.  His teacher was pleased, and he hoped his mother would be also.  He felt adrift in a sea of finely-tuned intelligent brainpower, but wanted desperately to fit in and be something other than a disappointment to his family.

CHAPTER 59

“Time to carve, Dad!” 

Joss carried the steaming roasted turkey into the dining room on a stainless steel platter, and watched his father as he heaped thick, succulent slices of white meat onto the best china plates that only ever seemed to come out at Easter and Christmas.

“Thanks, Beth.  This is superb!”  Toby gave an appreciative eye to the fare on offer, and helped himself to a selection of vegetables.

“Well, it is Easter Sunday, and it’s not every day the family is together.  Let’s make the most of it.”  Beth smiled as she passed the gravy boat around.

“It’s a shame Paul’s working over Easter.  He would have loved to have been here today.”  Amy poured gravy into the middle of her Yorkshire pudding. “He volunteered to work the extra shifts at double time to get the rest of the deposit.  We’re only five thousand pounds short now, but after that we’ve got to start saving for the wedding.”

“Have you started house-hunting?”  Liam took the gravy boat from his daughter.

“Not yet, but we will soon.  We want to be near both sides of the family, so we’ll probably be looking around the Bury area, as Paul’s family lives in Ipswich.  We’ve researched Bury on the Internet, and it looks really nice.”

“Has it got an arena?  I’ll bring the band over to play.”  Toby laughed and took another slice of turkey.

“Yes, a small one I think. It’s called The Apex, but I’m not sure if it’ll be suitable for Francois.  He growls too much.  Listening to that file you sent me, he sounds like a creature from the deep with a chronic case of laryngitis.”

“It’s paying the bills though.  The creature sent me a text this morning.  We’ve been asked to play at your Download festival in June.  I’ll be able to get out from under Mike’s feet after that.  What do you think of that, eh?” 

“Wow!  Can you get me a guest pass?”  Joss had stopped chewing in surprise.

“Sure can, little brother, if you’re not still grounded!  There’ll be passes for all of you.”

“Does that mean I’ll have to mingle with the great unwashed, all wearing offensive t-shirts?”  Amy wrinkled her nose in disgust.

“Sure does.  I’ll even lend you one of mine.”

Listening to the good-humoured banter all around him, Joss yearned to be able to impart some good news of his own.  However, he could think of nothing worthwhile to say.  The talking went on all around him, and he remained silent:

“You’re quiet, Joss.”  His mother put down her knife and fork, took a sip of wine, and looked at her son.

“He’s missing his girlfriend.”  Amy laughed. “He’s in love.”

“Shut up, Amy.”  Joss felt himself blushing with embarrassment.

“Aw, let the poor guy see his girl, eh?” Toby’s eyes twinkled with amusement.

“What about it Beth?”  Liam poured himself some more wine. “It is Easter after all.”

Joss looked at his mother hopefully:

“Ok.  She can join us for tea today if you like.”  Beth sighed; outvoted.

“Great!  Thanks Mum!”  Joss reached for the phone in his pocket, as Toby and Amy clapped and cheered.

“After dinner with the phone calls, please.”

His mother fixed him with one of her stares.  Joss let the phone slide back in his pocket and willed the dinner to be over with as quickly as possible.

“What’s your best subject at school these days?”

Joss looked up from his plate towards his sister.  He knew the answer to that one:

“Woodwork.  I like making things with my hands.  I think I want to be something like a builder or a carpenter when I leave school.”

“Makes a change from going to medical school.” Amy smiled at her brother.

“No.  Don’t want to do that. I’d be no good at it.”

“Each to his own, eh?”  Toby helped himself to the leftover vegetables. “I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do for years, but I knew it had to be something to do with music.  Mom let me do the sound engineering course at college, and the rest is history, so they say.”

“I can only make things.  I can’t play any instruments or cure sick people.  I’m thick.”  Joss mumbled into his food.

“Don’t ever say that, Joss.  You’re not thick at all.  You just have different skills to your brother and sister, eh?”  Liam laid down his knife and fork and wiped his mouth with a serviette.

Joss had a burning question in his head that would not go away, no matter how hard he tried.  Whilst his mother and Toby were in the kitchen seeing to the dessert, Joss decided to broach the subject:

“Dad; do you know what my real father did for a living before he was locked up?”

He heard Amy take in a quick breath:

“Joss, Mum doesn’t want to hear about him.  I’m not sure I do either.”

“Sorry Amy, but I need to know.”  Joss hoped his mother would not make an entrance too soon.

“It’s ok.  Of course you want to know.  For your information, he was self-employed; a builder and architect I believe.”  Liam stated the answer matter-of-factly in an even tone, dissipating the sudden tension that had built up in the room.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Any time you have a question, just ask me.  I’ll do my best to answer.”

However, unfortunately as far as Joss was concerned, his father’s reply further convinced him that he was somehow different from his family.  He shared no common interests with any of them, and nobody in the family seemed to be of a practical nature. He thought back and remembered how his father had recently paid out a small fortune for a new kitchen to be fitted.

His real father would have known how to fit it himself!

PART 10  - EDWIN

CHAPTER 60 – NOVEMBER 2012

Edwin Evans sat on his favourite seat in the courtyard, immune to the cold November wind.  He watched the fish swimming around and around in the small pond, and likened himself to a fish; the walls of the pond were like the walls of the hospital.  He could not escape, and neither could the fish; in fact they were worse.  If they managed to escape from the pond they would still not be able to break free from the confines of the hospital; unwitting inhabitants of a prison within a prison.

The little orange bodies were mesmerising him; swimming to and fro, to and fro.  He failed to even notice the warden patrolling the courtyard until he sat down right next to him.

“Hey, Edwin!  Do you want the good news or the bad news?”  Ben Hawkes’ usual stern countenance broke out into a rare smile.