A Kiss of Lies (19 page)

And here Sarah was, after one session of pleasure, falling for a practiced rake’s seduction—even, he thought as he remembered her giggle, welcoming the seduction.

He went ice cold inside.

He stood struggling with the desire—no, rampant need—to storm the beach and pummel Sebastian until he could no longer move. Rage locked in Christian’s throat, and he realized he was shaking.

He’d never felt closer to becoming his father’s son than at this moment. The thought made him want to vomit.

He opened his mouth and gulped in deep breaths. He counted to a hundred and willed his all-consuming rage to dissipate. He stayed hidden in the bushes for what felt like hours but in reality was only until he saw Sebastian return from the beach, fully dressed. He was proud of the fact that he didn’t stab Sebastian in the back as he passed. You should always face your foe. Anything less spoke of cowardice.

The blackness was retreating, but instead his mind had filled with awful images of her in Sebastian’s arms. He pictured Sebastian’s hands and lips on her bare skin and her responding with the ecstatic little cries that made his blood burn.

Now all he felt was revulsion, a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach every time he thought of Sarah. Over and over again, he kept feeling the pain anew like a mighty blow to his
face.

His imagination ran wild, visualizing what had occurred on the white sandy beach while he’d been racing eagerly back from Kingston.

Fool. You utter fool!
Why had he ever thought a woman as beautiful as Sarah would settle for damaged goods? Women always found Sebastian desirable. Now that she knew how it could be with a man, how could he blame Sarah for falling victim to Sebastian’s charm?

No. He knew where the blame lay.

Sebastian.

He had to get Sarah away from Sebastian. Seeing them together each day would be torture. He thrust the disturbing images of the two of them from his mind and strode back to the stables. He found Gareth and beckoned him over.

“Can you ride to the
Doreen
tonight? There has been a change in plans. We must sail on tomorrow’s tide. Can you let Captain Weatherspoon know?”

Gareth looked confused. “Tomorrow? I’m not sure the ship will be ready—”

“It will be ready. No excuses.”

Gareth lifted his hat and scratched his head. “The ship might be ready by late evening. It’s the men we will have to round up. They are on shore leave, as you’d said we would stay a few days.”

“Then you’d best get moving. I want to depart tomorrow.” With that final barked command he turned, ignoring Gareth’s confused look. Steeling himself, he made for the house.

He had no idea how he’d sit through dinner with his betrayer. With any provocation, he’d be likely to plunge a knife into Sebastian’s traitorous heart. The thought of food made him retch.

And then there was Sarah. He ran a tired hand over his face. He was tearing up in two. He couldn’t bear to watch her flirt with another man. He couldn’t bear to be near her knowing she’d been with his friend. Yet he couldn’t make himself give her up.

All he knew was he had to get her as far away from Sebastian as possible. Only then could he think.

Christian made his way to the dining room. He’d delayed going down for dinner as long as possible, drinking several tumblers of brandy to take the edge off the cold, remorseless anger twisting his guts.

He hesitated outside the door to the dining room and drew in a deep breath before entering. Upon entry, he flicked his eyes toward the table and saw that tonight Sarah had chosen to grace them with her presence. So all it took was Sebastian’s seduction to change her mind!

Now that she had Sebastian to look at and converse with, she’d deigned to join them. His chest tightened as he heard her laugh at some comment Sebastian had made. Just when he was sure he could not feel angrier, Sarah turned and noticed him. Her welcoming smile clawed deep into his chest. It appeared genuine, yet only hours earlier she’d been cavorting with his friend—or, rather, his ex-friend.

She looked ravishing this evening. Was that too for Sebastian’s benefit?

“Good evening.” He was proud of how normal his voice sounded. He relaxed his gait and smoothed his features. He maintained an easy, friendly expression.

Sebastian said, “A very sensible ploy, not arriving early for dinner. It’s given me ample time to fill Mrs. Cooper’s head with tales of your heroics.”

Christian doubted very much that their topic of conversation had been him. Or maybe it had. Maybe they both pitied him behind his back. Gut-wrenching anger tugged at his senses once more.

Christian could not avert his gaze from them. He was transfixed by the handsome couple. They were well suited. Sarah’s fair hair and curls contrasted beautifully with Sebastian’s auburn hair. Sarah looked at ease in Sebastian’s company, more so than she’d ever seemed in his.

His Judas friend showed no sign of remorse over his treachery. But then again, Sebastian considered women fair game. Christian’s stated interest in Sarah would be unlikely to stop him.

His jealousy got the better of him. Unable to wait until later, he spoke, wanting to watch the reaction on Sebastian’s face as he told them they’d be leaving tomorrow. In a flash, he calmly said, “There’s a change of plans, old boy. I have decided the sooner I can get to England
the better. We leave tomorrow. I cannot delay any longer. Any more delay only leaves the field open further for Barforte.”

He did not miss the quick glance shared between Sarah and Sebastian. Sebastian nodded. “I cannot disagree with that sentiment.”

“Really? I do hope that this does not upset anyone’s plans,” he said.

Sebastian gave him a puzzled look. “What plans? You know my plans. I’m here until Hadley sends word.”

Sarah looked briefly at Sebastian with a frown but said nothing, knowing it was not her place to ask questions.

“So you’d have no objection if I—
we
—leave tomorrow?” Christian moved his gaze to Sarah.

Sebastian’s lips thinned, and Christian could tell his friend was annoyed. Sebastian understood the meaning behind his inquiry.

“Other than the fact I haven’t seen you in several months, and I’d enjoy your company should you decide to stay longer …”

“I thought there might be another reason why you’d be disappointed at my leaving.”

Sarah put down her cutlery and looked at the two men in turn. She’d picked up on the undercurrent of tension between them. “Perhaps I should partake of the rest of my meal in my room. You gentlemen obviously have something to discuss.”

Christian thumped the table with a closed fist. “Don’t leave!” His barely suppressed anger was reflected in the sharpness of his barked command.

Sarah gave him a startled look.

“Christian, you are making an idiot of yourself over nothing.” Sebastian’s lips curled up in scorn.

“Am I?” He took a bite of his food even though it tasted like ash in his mouth, and let his comment hang like a challenge in the air.

Of course Sebastian knew why he was angry. He had guilt written clearly all over his handsome features. Sarah, on the other hand, still pretended to have no comprehension of the situation.

“I am one of your oldest friends. Your thoughts malign me.”

Christian threw his glass across the room. It shattered against the wall. “Your actions
malign me!”

Sarah collapsed back in her seat, her eyes wide and aghast at the violence in his tone and actions.

“I gave you my word.” Sebastian’s voice held more than a hint of steel, and he threw his napkin on the table. It was just as well it was merely made of cloth, such was the force of his throw. Sebastian rose and approached Christian. “I’ll excuse your idiocy because of what you have been through. Any other man I would have knocked senseless by now. Don’t expect much more leeway from me.”

Sebastian had all but issued a challenge. Christian pushed himself to his feet, toppling his chair backward with a crash. He lunged at his friend, his fist connecting with Sebastian’s chin, snapping his head back with a loud crack.

Sebastian quickly recovered and with a savage growl tackled Christian to the ground. Throwing punches at each other, they rolled on the floor. The sickening thud of fist on flesh echoed around the room. The dining table’s contents rattled loudly each time they banged into the legs.

The men wrestled on the floor like children. Sarah jumped up to flee, and her glass slipped from her hand and toppled over, smashing mere inches from the men’s faces. The blood-red wine seeped across the floor, bleeding like Christian’s battered pride.

He glanced at Sarah. Her bottom lip was trembling, she was shaking like a leaf, and there were tears in her eyes.

Christian moved to reassure her, but she jumped back, away from his touch, more spooked than a hunted deer.

His heart stilled. He’d frightened her. The seething violence within his heart frightened even him. But he’d never hurt Sarah; he’d never hurt a woman. He’d never lose control the way his father had.

The two men pushed away from each other and sat on the floor, breathing hard.

Sarah backed away from the table, eyes wide and filled with revulsion. Without looking at Christian, she turned and ran from the room.

Sarah felt two pairs of eyes burning holes into her back as she left. There was an ominous silence behind her, testament to the private war being waged between them. She did not know
what Sebastian had done, but the change in Christian was disturbing.

He’d lost his temper. He’d used his fists.

She’d trusted a man who so easily resorted to violence.

What had happened to the gentleness she had seen in him? Just when she’d begun to trust him, to trust a man, he’d showed his true colors. He couldn’t even have a heated discussion without resorting to his fists.

Now she knew better. Christian had a furious temper, for he’d unleashed it on an unsuspecting friend.

What would he do to her if she ever crossed him? What would he do if he ever found out the truth about her?

To think she’d almost convinced herself to go to his bed.
Fool! You know better than to trust any man, let alone an arrogant peer of the realm
.

Instead of looking forward to her sea journey, she now dreaded it.

“I ought to take you outside and finish knocking some sense into you.” Sebastian looked disgusted.

Christian picked himself up and slumped into his chair, all the anger draining away, replaced by abject remorse. He inwardly kicked himself for having scared Sarah so. If he’d wanted to push her toward Sebastian, his performance tonight surely would have achieved that aim. He’d be lucky if she’d talk to him again, let alone board a ship with him.

“I saw you both on the beach,” he said dully. His newfound joy at life had now plummeted in defeat. How had he let his temper get the better of him? He’d prided himself on his judgment, which now lay in tatters, utterly impaired.

Sebastian had the grace to look embarrassed. “This afternoon? Is this what your temper tantrum was about? Idiot! Did I not give you my word?”

“You were naked. I saw you walking into the sea as Sarah came up from the cove. She was giggling. She looked satisfied and happy.” He shrugged his shoulders. “What was I to think?”

Sebastian sat down and threw up his arms in exasperation. “So without even talking to me first, that was enough for you to accuse me of breaking my word. My word!” He thumped the table, sending the cutlery rattling. “When I got back from town, all hot and sweaty, Margarita
told me Lily had come back from the beach and had gone to rest, so I assumed Sarah was with her. I went for a swim, not realizing Sarah was still down at the cove. Once I arrived, decently clothed, Sarah left.”

Christian raised an eyebrow. “She was giggling.”

He gave a wry smile. “Well, I must admit I might have bestowed some fanciful prose on such a beautiful lady. It was an impulse. I can’t help myself.” He looked straight into Christian’s eyes and without wavering said, “But I gave you my word I’d not seduce her. Nothing of a sexual nature happened between Sarah and me.”

Christian leaned forward and lowered his head onto his hands, unable to face Sebastian. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. When I thought of Sarah with you, I went a little crazy. I’m sorry.”

Sebastian sat contemplating his friend in silence.

“Since the incident with Simon Penfold and his father, it would appear I’ve forgotten how to trust. I know that’s no excuse. I should have trusted you. I should have remembered my mother’s favorite saying: ‘Temper gets you into trouble, but pride keeps you there.’ ”

When Christian was little, he’d asked his mother why Father was always angry. The above saying had been her reply. It was much later before he’d really understood her words. His father’s butler had told him the late earl had killed his mother in a fit of jealousy, believing she’d dallied with Lord Danvers, their next-door neighbor. It was all in his father’s head, of course. His mother had never strayed from her marriage vows.

Perhaps Sarah would be better off staying in Jamaica.

Sebastian rose and walked around the table to pour him a drink. “It’s not only me you have to apologize to. Sarah appeared upset when she left. From what you have told me about her husband, your display of anger most likely frightened her.”

At the first test of loyalty, he had acted exactly like his father, falsely accusing Sebastian, his friend, a man whose word was his bond. He’d never felt so ashamed of his actions, nor so terrified. Since the war, he’d become bitter. Bitterness leads to anger, anger he had fought so hard to contain. He would not become consumed by his temper like his father.

He shot his friend a pleading look. “Can you offer any suggestions on how to fix this situation? Otherwise, you may find you have a houseguest tomorrow. I bet Sarah is deciding if she’ll ever talk to me again, or, worse, if she’ll sail with me.”

“I assume your reason for leaving so soon was to get Sarah out of my clutches. As that is no longer necessary, perhaps you should revise your decision and stay a few more days and spend the time groveling at her feet. You need to show her you know how to conduct yourself as a gentleman.”