A Leap of Faith (14 page)

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Alex’s eyebrow
raised as he looked bewildered.

“Because most guys would have run by now.” I breathed out slowly, “I feel like I can be myself with you, that I can be just as fucked up as I really am and you won’t judge me.”

“Baby, listen to me. I don’t run. Yes, I pushed you away in the past thinking it is what you wanted but now that I know that you want me, I will never leave you. No matter how fucked up you think you are, I will never see you as anything less than perfect.”

“Alex...” I started.

“No, Lexi. Let me finish. I know there is stuff in your past that we haven’t discussed, who knows, maybe we won’t ever talk about it but it doesn’t change who you are and what you mean to me. I need you to know that.” His tone was soft despite the severity of the words.

“I know. It’s taken me so long but, I know. I feel the same way. I was so scared to let you in, I mean
really
let you in but I can’t fight it anymore. I don’t want to. I need to be with you and for the first time it doesn’t make me feel like that makes me less of who I am. I want this... all of this.”  My eyes met his gaze as the words fell from my mouth.

“And while I love this amazing body of yours...” I traced the lines of his spectacular sculpted to
rso “You aren’t intimated by me. You don’t think less of me. You don’t expect me to sit down and shut up. I can tell you to fuck me and you don’t get all weird. Being with you doesn’t make me feel less of a woman. I feel empowered yet still... sexy. I never expected to find that.”

“Baby, I love you, all of you. Yes, you drive me completely insane sometimes but that’s what makes
you, you. I don’t want a puppet. I want someone who can think for themselves. I want a partnership. As for you telling me to fuck you - Biggest turn on ever. I love that you know what you want, I don’t want you to ever hold back with me. No matter what crazy, depraved, insane ideas you have....” His mouth twisted into his delicious half smile.

“And as for sexy... you fucking blow that definition out of the water.” His eyes darkened as he raked them up and down my naked body.

I felt the heat return to me. I no longer felt tired or sleepy. “Make love to me Alex.”

He slowly lowered his lips to mine.
It wasn’t like the first time - it was gentle and tender.

His hands glided over me, his touch soft and considerate. I felt my need rising again, needing to feel him again.

He took me slowly, every touch and caress taking longer than it needed to. I savoured it. He built me up gradually, there was no urgency this time for either of us. I loved it, slow and maddening but I loved it.

My body melded into his perfectly, responding to his every touch. It was
beautiful; he took me to the brink and then backed off, prolonging my pleasure. He knew my body so well and he knew what to do to make me feel good.

I slid off of his body, wanting to pleasure him with my mouth. I watched his face as he looked down at me. His desire for me and his need was written clearly, yet he was unwilling to allow himself his release.

We moved all over each other, yielding to each of our needs, not willing to stop, until we couldn’t bear it any longer and we came together, intensely.

It had been so different
from before and yet just as amazing. I loved fucking him just as much as I loved making love to him and for the first time ever, I didn’t have to choose. With Alex, I could have both.

Buzz Buzz. My vibrating phone awoke me from my deep sleep. I strained as I tried to pry my eyes open, my body not wanting to cooperate. My tired muscles ached in protest as I stretched my arm over Alex’s naked chest to reach my unrelenting phone on the bedside table.

“Hello. Lexi Reed speaking,” I croaked sleepily into the phone.

Alex moved beneath me, my face plastered to his chest as I tried to find the energy to untangle our limbs from each other.

“Lexi! Did I wake you?” Matt’s crisp voice filled my ear.

“Hey Matt, yeah kind of. Late night,” I mumbled into my phone.

“Yeah I figured as much. Just giving you a heads up. My flight has landed and I’m the car heading over. Be there in 10, in case you were... in the middle of something.” I heard the smile in his voice.

“That’s considerate of you!” I laughed, my mind slowly gaining clarity.

“Oh trust me, I was doing it for my benefit rather than yours. While by all reports Alex has an impressive package, I am sure I can go a lifetime without needing to see it!” Matt chuckled.

“What reports? Who’s talking about Alex’s package?” My brain snapped to alertness.

Alex moved suddenly at the mention of his name, sliding open his eyes.

“Relax Lexi, bullshit chatter on message boards. I like to cruise the sites and see what’s being said. Always better to be proactive rather than defensive.” Matt reasoned.

“And they are talking about his DICK?” I sat up in the bed, Alex shooting me questioning looks.

“His BIG dick,” laughed Matt.

“Well at least they are reporting on it accurately for once.” I huffed, knowing there was no way to stop people from talking, writing or thinking about my boyfriend’s body. I didn’t like it but I was learning to accept it.

“Ewwww Lexi! TMI! I did not need to hear that.” Matt feigned disgust before continuing. “Anyway, get decent and I’ll see you soon. Bye”

“Bye Matt, see you soon
.” I ended the call.

“So I heard, ALEX, PACKAGE and DICK out of that conversation.” Alex smiled wickedly.

I shook my head in disbelief, “Seems your cock may need his own publicist, all the attention it’s been gaining lately. Matt’s been checking out message boards.”

“Quality reading?” Alex laughed.

“They can talk about it all they want, I’m the only one who’s getting it!” I boasted, my lips curving.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Alex’s mouth covered mine with passion.

“We should get out of bed, Matt will be here soon. We have business to discuss.” I reluctantly pulled away.

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed slightly in frustration. I knew he wanted to ask me what our meeting was about but he didn’t. His arms released me as I slid out of bed. I hated keeping things from him, especially after what we shared last night. It seemed like we had moved forward in so many ways.

I walked into the luxurious bathroom and turned on the shower. The warm water eased the ache in my arms and legs, revitalizing me as the spray tickled my sensitive skin. I quickened the process, hastily washing my hair and body before shutting off the tap and reaching for one of the large, fluffy towels.

Alex stepped into the bathroom as I towel
led off my body. “That was quick, I was hoping to join you,” Alex pouted.

“Later.” I promised, taking in the sight of his naked body. I never tired of looking at it, he was entirely too good looking. I felt my breath quicken as he moved closer to me. He was so comfortable in his own skin and it showed when he walked.

“You don’t look so sure?” Alex whispered playfully. I took a deep breath as he stood inches away from me, I could feel the zap of electricity between us. Alex tilted his head as he raised an eyebrow. God damn it! No I wasn’t sure, I wanted him and there was no fucking time!

“I have an idea.” I struggled to talk as Alex lightly grazed his finger along my bare stomach.

“Sounds dangerous.” Alex continued further down my body.

It took all the energy I had to focus. Seriously, was he always going to have this effect on me, where all rational though leapt out the window?

“Let me have my meeting and then we can have breakfast, just the two of us. We have no commitments until tomorrow. Matt can handle whatever comes up today. We can spend the entire day together. It will just be us.”

Alex stilled as he regarded my offer, his hand stopping at my belly button. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, All day...anything you want,” I breathed.

“Anything?” Alex questioned.

“Yes, I trust you.” I kissed him tenderly on the lips.

Alex’s lips spread to a wide grin, his eyes glistened with mischief. “Go... Go have your meeting. Then you are mine.”

I couldn’t help but watch as he turned from me, his muscular back and amazing ass flexing as he walked. Damn, he was hot.

Gathering my scrambled thoughts I ambled back into the bedroom, with a towel wrapped around me to try and sort through my suitcase for something to wear.  I settled on a nude Prada dress, it’s georgette fabric cool and light. It had thin straps and was cut low at the bust, dictating I was unable to wear a bra. It was elegant, yet simple. The sides were ruched slightly, meeting in the middle.

There was a knock at the door just as was I finishing my make-up. My hair was still damp as it hung loose down my back.

“Matt!” I hugged him as he entered the suite.

It had been a few months since I saw him and even now I still appreciated what a fine specimen of man he was.  He was beautiful. His tanned skin was set off by a light blue shirt.  He had left the first few buttons, undone. His toned chest was evident underneath, as my eyes followed the line of his body down to his lower abs.  His light grey tailored pants hung low on his hips.

“Lexi!” His amazing enigmatic smile lit up his astonishing blue eyes.

“Come in, Are you checked in? God I’ve missed you!” I yanked on his arm, pulling him from the doorway.

“Yes, my bags are already in my room. You’re looking good Lex, clearly whatever you are doing is agreeing with you,” Matt grinned.

“You’re looking good too.” I gushed, ruffling his dark mess of hair.

“Whatever...” Matt smiled as he took a seat on one of the plush armchairs. “So...” He watched me take seat on the chair opposite him.

Matt rubbed his chin, the little stubble on his jawline scratching his fingertips. “What’s going on?”

“Ok…” I let a long breath escape my lips as I exhaled. “Things are going to get crazy in the next few months. I mean even more psycho than they already are. Hannah is due in a couple of weeks and every shutterbug, pap, stalker and “biggest fan” is going to have a telescopic lens pointed at James and Hannah. On top of that, Chris is already sorting out dates for a stadium tour for later in the year, which was why I hired you in the first place. Shit’s about to get VERY real.”

“Yeah, I know Lex. I’m prepared. Whatever you need, I’ll be all over it.” Matt crooned as he relaxed further into his chair.

“Matt, you are amazing and I know that as a team we are going to be unstoppable but I think that maybe we might be lacking something. Possibly another person, at the very least an assistant.” I watched as Matt nodded in agreement.

“Sure, it can’t hurt. I can call an agency if you like, set up some interviews?”  He pulled his phone out his pocket.

“I already have someone in mind,” I interjected before he had a chance to dial. “I have been working on it for a while, I needed to make sure it was a possibility, financially, before I brought it up. However, before I made my final decision, I wanted to make sure it was what you wanted.”

Matt looked at me oddly, his brow scrunched as he questioned, “Who were you thinking?”

“Anna.” I breathed, glad to finally be able to tell him. Anna was one of my friends from Melbourne who Matt had met and started dating while he was working on exchange at Cole.

“Anna? But how? She can’t get a work visa.” Matt ran his hand through his hair.

“We can sponsor her. She bypasses all the bureaucratic bullshit because we are guaranteeing her a job and support. I’ve had a lawyer working on it. I can’t do it myself, basically because I’m not a citizen. I will have her sponsored by the band’s legal entity but I will pay her health benefits and income. I have already set up an account to funnel the money into. I can get her here for twelve months, that way you guys can have a real chance at making it work.

“Matt, you have been an amazing support to me and are my best friend. If you want this, I want to give it you. I can never repay you for what you’ve given me but this small thing, I can do.”

I watched as he tried to absorb the information, his face unreadable as he processed the words I had spoken.

“Matt, do you love her? Do you want this?” I moved off my chair and knelt in front of him.

“Yes, Lexi... I think I do love her. Being apart from her is like a knife through my heart. I have been trying to move on but I can’t, I want to be with her. I need to know if it would work with us.” Matt leaned in and pulled me close to him.

Alex walked in as Matt and I were engaged in an embrace. He was freshly showered and wearing dark blue jeans and black fitted Tee. His blonde hair was slicked back in his usual fashion.

“Hey... Matt...” Alex paused, his lips pulled into a tight line.

Matt released me and stood, offering his hand to Alex, “Hey Alex! Good to see you Man.”

“Your meeting went well, I take it?” Alex shook Matt’s hand before turning to me.

“Yes, I’m hiring Anna!” I smoothed the front of Alex’s shirt.

“Wait... what?” Alex looked at me confused.

“You said it yourself, I am consumed by work. I need help and one person isn’t going to cut it. This way we kill a bunch of birds with one stone.” I squeezed his arm.

“You mean two birds, one stone” Matt smiled.

“No I hate birds, I’m going to knock off a few at once.” I laughed before continuing, facing Alex.

“I get more time with you, Matt gets to be with Anna and I also get another ally on my side.”

“That was the big secret?” Alex nuzzled my neck.

“Well, yes. I though Matt deserved to know first. If this wasn’t what he wanted then I didn’t want to get your hopes up.” My hand gently touched Alex’s cheek.

“Have you spoken to Anna yet? Has she even agreed to this?” Matt interjected.

“She will. Why wouldn’t she? Besides, I have a way of getting people to do what I want.” I bit my lip as I placed my hands around Alex’s waist.

“That she does.” A throaty laugh burst from Alex.

“No argument here.” Matt grinned.

“Ok, so it’s agreed. Why don’t you call Anna and give her the good news. Tell her I will email her an offer and the relevant paperwork. We’ll be in New York in two days, which is Friday our time, Saturday for her. I can give her a call then to discuss.”

I handed Matt the rest of the agenda for the next couple of days.

“Also, I’m taking today off. I’m switching off my phone, so anything that needs taking care of... it’s all you!”

Matt looked up from the folder I handed him. “You got Lexi to take a day off? Wow! I have to hand it to you Alex, that’s no easy feat!” Matt’s eyes widened.

“It was all her idea.” Alex shrugged, “I’m just running with it!”

“Hello, I’m still in the room!” I waved as the two most important men in my life gazed at me.

“Ok, now if everyone is done marvelling at my brilliance can we move on? I believe I promised someone breakfast.”

Matt swept me into an all encompassing hug.

“Thanks Lexi. I’m heading to my room and calling Anna. I got a handle on everything for today. Enjoy your day.”

I kissed his cheek as I threw my arms around his neck.

“My pleasure. It’s going to be awesome.”

Matt shook Alex’s hand and then headed out the door.

“So... what do you want to eat?” I slithered seductively toward Alex.

“Actually I ordered in, why don’t we go into the bedroom while we wait.” Alex wrapped his arms around me.

“Sounds like a plan.” I giggled as I followed him into the bedroom.

Alex paused as we reached the door, he hesitated before opening.

“What?” I asked as I sensed his hesitation.

“You aren’t doing this just to please me right, you want this too. The day?” Alex looked slightly nervous as he gazed at me.

“Baby, when have I ever done anything I haven’t wanted to. Yes, I really want this, I think we need this. In fact, look!” I picked up my iPhone and switched it off. Not on silent, I actually turned it off. Steve Jobs must be turning in his grave cause I don’t think my phone has ever been turned off.

Alex hesitated again, “Good, cause once you walk in here, you can’t walk out.”

“We’re spending the whole day inside? Well, ok... it’s your choice.” I moved to push past him.

“No, I mean you can’t walk out.” He stood with his hand on the door jamb, his arms barricading the door.