A Little Harmless Addiction (8 page)

“I think it best I go now.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“Because we just met and it wouldn’t be right.”

Dammit, she hated good men. “Wouldn’t be right?”

“Yeah. There are a lot of complications and I am not sure you are ready for something like this.”

Irritation, embarrassment and a healthy dose of anger replaced the arousal he had so easily flared deep inside of her.

“So you don’t want to finish? I think your body says another thing.”

Her nasty tone brought her down to earth. What the hell was wrong with her? Here was a decent man, a nice one, who had gone out of his way.

She opened her mouth to apologize, but Kai stepped forward one more time, pressed his body against hers. Wet heat slipped down from her belly to her pussy and her body became one big pulse of need with that simple action.

“There is nothing more I would like to do than to turn you around and take you against this door. I have a powerful need for you that wouldn’t be quenched with a quick, hard fuck. I understand that you might not understand, but I do have some decency and if there is anything between us, it isn’t going to be a one-night stand.”

He bit out each word. She could hear the desire threading every word.

She drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes as shamed washed over her. She didn’t need to be acting like this, like some kind of ass.

“Hey.” His voice had gentled. She opened her eyes.

He cupped her face. “I want you. But like I said there are complications.”

Pain and sorrow twisted in her chest. “I’m a basket case.”

He shook his head. “That isn’t so much of a problem, unless you mean by basket case you are going to go all Glenn Close on me and boil rabbits.”

She snorted. “Not hardly. I have issues, but I am not a psycho.”

He nodded. “And when you’re ready to talk about them, you let me know. But the complications I’m talking about are our families. We’re sort of entangled with May working for Chris. And I would hate to ruin a new friendship because we jumped into bed right away.”

She should be grateful, but something inside of her was irritated. She squashed it. She knew she wasn’t ready, knew that it could end up as a disaster if she tried.

“Now,” he said, brushing his mouth over hers again. The simplicity of the kiss stirred more than lust. It had her heart quivering. “I have to go before all my good intentions are forgotten.”

With that he opened the door. “How about dinner tomorrow night? My house.”

“Safety in numbers?”

He smiled and she fought back a shiver.

“Hey, a guy has to be careful. Plus, I think my granddad has a crush on you.”

She laughed. “Your grandfather has a crush on Dee. What time?”

“Six?”

She nodded. “Thanks again for the wonderful day.”

He said nothing more as he shut the door and left her alone. She heard the car start up and drive away as she collapsed on the sofa. She leaned her head back against the pillows and closed her eyes. Damn, the man was lethal. Hot enough to burn her up, and just about sweet enough to make her melt.

She waited for the self-hatred to crash in on her. Ever since her issues with Greg, even thinking about a date had left her feeling lower than scum. Dr. Sawyer had helped her understand that none of it was her fault. Logically, she had known it. All of the gentle counseling she had been through had apparently worked. The guilt didn’t come this time. This time, the only thing she felt was the fading hum of arousal and the knowledge that if she had a chance to go to bed with Kai Aiona, she would definitely do it.

Chapter Five

“What bug’s up your butt?” Vince asked.

Kai barely bit back a growl. But they had passengers coming on board. He was ready to explode. All day long Kai had been a pain in the ass, griping, bitching and snarling at everyone. And he knew the reason.

Jocelyn.

He never knew he possessed the kind of control he’d had last night. He had been within a second of talking her into bed. And he could have done it. He had been with enough women to know that she wanted it. But he felt she might have wanted it for the wrong reasons. And that had never really bothered him before Keisha.

“Hey, boss, why don’t I take over the tour today?”

He nodded and said nothing else. He knew his crew was confused. Hell, he was confused. He didn’t get tied up in knots over a woman he had just met. But he was. She had one of those soulful smiles that knocked him in the gut, and he knew when he got her into bed, that he wouldn’t probably want to leave it for a week.

As he went through the preparations for the cruise, he started to think over his attraction, his need for Jocelyn. He knew better than to get involved with a woman who was hurting, who needed someone to prop her up. Keisha had been like that. Hell, a lot of women he’d dated had been like that. But until Keisha, it hadn’t hurt when she decided to go on her merry way. She had told him two days before she moved back to the mainland. Two days. They had been dating for a couple of months, old high school sweethearts who had started dating again, and he had thought it would be fun to get to know the grown-up version. The problem was she had entangled him. He had been close to discussing moving in together when she’d told him she was moving back to the mainland.

Damn, he didn’t want to deal with that again. Didn’t want to deal with the fact he knew that Keisha was now back with the abusive boyfriend she had been dating before they met. And he couldn’t even blame her for using him. The truth was, until this year, he had never had a problem with it. He was known for mending broken hearts. But after Keisha… Well, he hadn’t dated another woman since.

“You need to watch your temper around the crew,” Vince admonished.

“Yeah, I know.”

“You need to make sure that next time you go out with that hot woman from New Orleans, you get her into bed.”

He glanced at Vince, then back down at his work. “I didn’t say that was the problem.”

“Son, all problems in life originate with women.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, and how would you know? I rarely see you with a woman.”

“Oh, I have women, but I make sure to keep them at a distance. You let them too close, they fuck you up.”

He glanced up, intrigued. Vince had never been forthcoming with much of his background. Kai knew he’d been in the merchant marines, he was originally from Seattle, and he liked chili. Any more requests for information had been shut down immediately.

“Really? There’s a story there. Who was the woman who taught you that lesson?”

A blush stole over the older man’s face and Kai laughed. In all his time with Vince, he never thought to see something so, well, sweet on the hardened sailor.

“We’re going to have to get you drunk and get it out of you.” Kai shook his head. “And stop being a mother hen. I’m fine.”

“If you are going to be in front of the passengers, you better tame that tongue of yours. Lots of kiddos on board today.”

It always amused him that Vince gave him orders and always expected them to be followed. For the most part, they were. “Hey, who owns the boat?”

“You do, but it doesn’t mean you know what the hell you’re doing.”

With that, Vince turned and walked back down the ladder, leaving Kai smiling after him. He was a pain in the ass, but Vince had taught him everything he knew about working on a boat. And he knew just what to say to get his mind off his troubles and back to business.

Jocelyn was a problem he would have to figure out later. He wanted her, but neither of them were ready. It was best to tuck his thoughts away until he could actually do something about it.

Jocelyn frowned at her brother as he matched it with one of his own.

“What do you mean you’re going to Kai’s for dinner?” he asked.

She shrugged. “He invited me to dinner with his family.”

“And you just said yes?” he asked, his voice rising.

This was overboard, even for Chris. He had been bad since the incident with Greg, but this was downright freaky. She noticed one of the busboys slowly wander past. Mindful that some of the employees of his restaurant might overhear, she closed the door.

“Yes. I don’t know a lot of people. And Cynthia gets up so early and with being pregnant, she needs her rest. I will be on the same schedule soon, but heck, I didn’t want to eat dinner by myself.”

Some of the fight seemed to go out of him. “I’m sorry I haven’t been attentive enough.”

She heard the guilt in his voice. Years ago, she would have used it to get what she wanted. She was a Dupree and they were a single-minded group. But she realized she felt better not dealing with him every day. Jocelyn loved being close to him, but she had her limits.

“No, it isn’t that.” She settled in the chair in front of his desk. “Don’t worry. I don’t need a sitter, Chris. I’m doing okay.”

He studied her for a long moment. “Are you taking your meds?”

She shook her head and his frown came back. “I went off them before I came, with the help of Doctor Sawyer. She agreed I didn’t need them. I have them if I should have to go back on, but right now, I am pretty happy with the way I’m progressing.”

“I would feel better if you were taking it easier.”

She snorted. “You would feel better if you could lock me in a room and have me stay there until you felt better about what happened.”

“That isn’t it at all.”

She could tell from his expression he wasn’t going to be able to deal with it. Not today, and probably not tomorrow. Chris hadn’t been there, but he had known there was something wrong. He had called her a lot during all the problems and had even come to town. But being Queen Jocelyn, she had wanted to handle it herself. And paid the price.

“I understand you want to protect me, but I’m not fragile. I had a bad run of luck.”

“You were almost raped. And by someone you trusted.”

He didn’t say it, but she could sense that he was blaming her. While she knew her brother loved her, and he understood it wasn’t her fault, there was probably a tiny part of him mad at her for scaring the hell out of him. That she understood. It was his way of dealing with the fear, the worry. But she was sick of having that guilt heaped on her. They both needed to move on.

“I’m going to have dinner with Kai, his brother, his father and grandfather. And unless the family is into sharing, I doubt very much anything else is going to happen.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I still don’t like it.”

She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I don’t really care.”

He opened his mouth when the door behind her opened. Cynthia stuck her head through the crack. “Is there anyone wounded in here?”

His expression softened when he looked at his wife-to-be. For the first time ever, a sharp shard of jealousy hit Jocelyn. It had never bothered her before, but now it hurt to see them together. She wasn’t sure if she would ever have what they have, be able to trust someone the way they seemed to trust each other. She pushed it aside and turned to greet her savior.

“No, but it was close. I would have left my niece or nephew without a father.”

Cynthia laughed and stepped into the office. “I thought it would be better if I came back here and saved him from himself.”

Chris walked around the desk and took Cynthia by the elbow. The exaggerated care giving had Cynthia tossing Jocelyn an amused look. Jocelyn would’ve liked to help her, but with part of his focus on Cynthia and the baby, Jocelyn hoped he would lose some interest in her.

“I told you to nap today,” he admonished.

“I did. What am I supposed to do? Stay in bed all day?”

“Yes.”

She laughed as she sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “I am only six weeks pregnant. I think that is being a little overprotective. Besides, it isn’t that much fun in bed by myself.”

Chris glanced in her direction and she was sure she saw a rise in color in his cheeks. It still amused her that Chris would get embarrassed in front of her. Still, she knew a reprieve when she saw one. Jocelyn used Chris’s preoccupation with his pregnant fiancée to slip out of there.

“I gotta get going.” She leaned over and kissed Cynthia on the cheek and did the same with her brother. “I’ll see ya later.”

Before he could say anything, she slipped out the door and hurried down the hall to the restaurant. There she found May working the hostess stand.

“Hey, sistah. I heard you were being subjected to the males in my family for dinner.”

Jocelyn sighed. “Does everyone know what I am doing? This is worse than New Orleans.”

May smiled, her blue eyes dancing. “This is Oahu. Everyone knows everyone here. It’s a little big town. And since a lot of the Hawaiians are related, even in the most convoluted ways, we all act like one big family.”

“So you gossip about each other.”

She leaned on the stand. “Got to have something to pass the time.”

Jocelyn laughed.

“I guess the boss isn’t happy with you dating my brother.”

Jocelyn shook her head. “No. My brother isn’t happy with me seeing any man.”

May nodded. “I understand.”

Irritation whipped through Jocelyn. “Why would you understand something like that?”

“I didn’t say I agreed with it. I just said I understand. When you’re the oldest, you worry. Kai is just as bad.”

“Your brother? Mr. Laid-back?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m not sure, but I think he threatened Evan. Not really overtly, probably just something like, if you hurt her, I’ll make the body disappear.”

Jocelyn shook her head. “I can’t see that. I mean, I can see that he would be protective and it is easy to see he has a good relationship with you.”

May threw her head back and laughed. “I scare the hell out of him. As I do all of them, so if you go over there and the house isn’t picked up, let me know. I swear, I moved in with Evan and they all think they can just forget about cleaning. It’s embarrassing.”

Jocelyn wanted to ask more about Kai, but she didn’t want to push it. There was definitely something in his past that his sister didn’t want to talk about, and at the moment, Jocelyn wasn’t too sure she wanted to know. She wasn’t sure she had the ability even to have a relationship.