A Little Harmless Military Romance Bundle (A Little Harmless Military Bundle) (38 page)

Chapter Nine

“So, I understand there’s a rumor you might be stuck here for life,” Kade said from the doorway.

Mal smiled at his brother-in-law. “When did you get back from New Orleans?”

Mal’s sister Shannon still lived in their home city. It had been tough, but they seemed to be making it work.

“Last night, late. I called you, but you didn’t pick up.”

He had been over at Amanda’s of course—as he had every night since that first night.

“I was busy.”

“You don’t say. Since I am married to your sister, and I could get smacked for not asking, is it someone I know?”

“Amanda Forrester.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“You don’t sound surprised.”

He walked into the office with a smile. “Give me a break, Mal. You’ve been mooning over the woman for months. About time you got together. How did that happen?”

“She showed up at CP.”

Kade didn’t say anything for a second, then he grinned. “Well, I’ll be damned. The woman knows you better than any of us. How long has this been going on?”

“I take it that you’re going to carry tales back to my mama.”

“You make me sound like some kind of spy for the women in your family.”

He shrugged. “I call it like I see it.”

“So, will I get in too much trouble if Mama Dupree finds out?”

He shook his head. “No, actually, I found a house over by Amanda’s shop.”

There was a beat of silence. “And?”

“I figured it would be good, especially if I end up here at the Pentagon.”

Kade said nothing for a second, which made Mal a little itchy. Kade was rarely quiet with him. “And you haven’t talked to her about it at all?”

“I have a feeling she isn’t really into the whole idea of marriage. So I thought maybe I could get the house, ease her in. It’ll work.”

Another beat of silence, then Kade’s mouth opened and shut…twice. “Holy shit, Dupree, you’re scared.”

That hit too close to home for him. “I am not scared of a woman.”

“Then you’re not that smart.”

He gave his friend an annoyed look. “Talking riddles again?”

“No, just letting you know that when a man says he isn’t scared of a woman, he usually gets his ass handed to him.”

* * * *

Mal pulled to a stop and turned off the engine.

“What do you think?’

Amanda blinked at the townhouse. She had been so tired from the wedding she had worked on that morning that she hadn’t been paying attention to where he was driving.

“Of what?”

“The house. I just signed a lease on it.”

She glanced around at the neighborhood. It was nice, neat, a little bit of yard. “Oh, isn’t it kind of far from Annapolis?”

“We’ll talk about it. Let’s take a look.”

The normally smooth Mal was rushing. She could feel it in the way he was talking, and if she didn’t know better, she would think he was nervous. He stepped out of his car and then rounded the hood. She pulled together the strength to step out of the car herself when he pulled the door open.

It wasn’t big. In fact, it was just the right size. The yard wouldn’t take that long to work, and the porch had just enough space to put some potted plants on it in the spring.

“I moved on it because it’s an end unit. I don’t mind sharing one wall, but I need some space.”

“Yeah. I understand that.”

He unlocked the door and then pushed it open. He waited for her to step over the threshold. She hesitated for a second, then entered the house. It was beautiful of course. The wooden floor gleamed, and the pale gold paint warmed the room.

“This is the living room. I figured I could put my TV over the fireplace. I can toss out my couch in favor of yours.”

That stopped her.

“What did you just say?”

His expression blanked. “What?”

“You just said that you could use my couch. I’m not moving in with you.”

He sighed. “Okay, I wasn’t planning on springing this on you right now.”

Dread filled her stomach as the dinner she had just eaten started to sour. “What were you planning on springing on me, Mal.”

“That we could move in together. I know that you have a few more months left on your apartment, but then we could get you moved over here.”

“No.”

“What?”

“No.”

He smiled. “I don’t mean now.”

“It doesn’t matter when. It will always be no.”

His smile faded. “I thought—“

She shook her head. “You thought wrong.”

He studied her for a second. She knew she probably looked madder than a pissed off hornet. But she needed to get out of there before she freaked out. Well, before he knew she was freaking out.

"What is it you think we're doing here together?"

She stared at him, wondering at the tone.

"We're seeing each other."

She could tell that he wasn't happy with her answer. She didn't understand his issue.

"So, we're just playing around? No commitment."

Her heart was starting to sink. That was what she wanted. Why did the thought of not having forever with Malachai seem wrong now? She had been ready to walk away at the end of the relationship. She couldn’t trust another man with her heart…right?

"I just told you I'm not marrying again."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "That's stupid."

"Don't you call me stupid. I'm not stupid."

He paused for a second, probably because she sounded like she was ready to kill. That and she was shrieking now.

"I didn't say you were stupid. I said that idea was stupid. I don't know why you're letting what happened with Kyle color your feelings toward marriage."

The word had panic clogging her throat. "Marriage?" she asked, her voice hoarse even to her own ears. Why did he keep using that word or insisting they were going to get married? They weren’t. And for some reason, that thought didn’t make her as happy as it had before.

"Yeah. You didn't think I would mess around with a woman like you and it not be something serious."

"It can be serious. I just don't want to get married."

"Again, I say that's stupid. Just because you lost one man doesn't mean you'll lose me."

She blinked at him. "Really? You think this is about his death?"

"What else could it be?"

She drew in a deep breath, and for the first time ever, she admitted out loud just what her problem was.

"It had more to do with the way he lived."

"What?"

She didn’t want to do this, to be the one to tell him. It was odd that it was more to protect Mal’s feelings than the honor of her husband. But she knew he wouldn’t be happy without an explanation.

"Your friend, the guy you said you could count on, was a fucking cheater."

For a moment, Mal said nothing. "Explain."

Most women would get pissed at his tone, but she dealt better with it. She had grown up with it in her house from her brothers and her father. On top of it, if he was sweet, she would never be able to get everything out, to tell him just what a disaster her marriage was.

"So, you think I had some kind of great love story. It wasn't. It was sad and it was pathetic. The man couldn't stay faithful for even two weeks from what I found out."

"You seemed so happy."

And that made her sad. Because at first, she had been so happy, so full of excitement for their future. Kyle had ruined that, ruined any chances she had at believing she could have forever with a man.

"Oh Mal, things are never as they seem."

He said nothing, and she scrubbed her hands over her face. "Okay, I'll tell you. I might as well. Someone else should know what a bastard that man was."

"He was in love with you."

"Yeah, you would think that, right? The man was such a romantic, right?” She asked but didn’t expect an answer. “He always struck those wonderful cords, making sure that I knew he cared for me. But apparently, it was an act. He couldn't keep it in his pants. When I got the first credit card bill when you were deployed on that last mission, well, I was pissed. I mean, he hadn't sent me flowers, and I know damned well I hadn't gone to New York with him. Okay, so truthfully, I wanted to believe that it was a glitch. Like the other bills that he had explained away. But when he died, I had to face the truth.”

“I can’t believe it. I
knew
him.”

She looked over her shoulder at him. Her heart hurt when she saw the expression on his face. For Seals, they thought of themselves as family. Finding this out for him was probably more like finding out his brother was a bastard who cheated. Well, she was sick of pretending.

"Your friend was a slut, or at least the male version of it. For some reason, I could never really get excited about going to bed with him, and the last time I talked to him, he blamed me. Me. So it was my fault he went looking for women. That he cheated. After he died, I figured I would just walk away and be whole at some point, but then the rest of the bills started coming in." He opened his mouth to interrupt her, but she stopped him with a shake of her head. "If you stop me, I'll never finish.”

He hesitated, then nodded.

“So, there I was having to hear what a great guy he was when I was paying off his debt...paying for the fact with not only my money, but my heart. Every week brought something more horrible. I was lucky, seriously. I was worried there would be something that I couldn't pay. That a bill would come in and I would have to go take out a loan, or worse, go to my parents and have to explain to them why I didn't have the money to pay it and what it was."

She couldn't stop the tears that were burning the backs of her eyes. But she blinked them away. She refused to cry over the cheating bastard again.

"I am not the marrying type. See, I couldn't keep him faithful. I know what everyone will say, but you don't know every bit of my background. I have never in my life had a man stay faithful to me. Not for an extended period of time. They all cheat. There is something broken in me. I will not be married again. I will not tie myself to a man who will just end up leaving me at some point because I can't give him what he needs."

"But you give me what I need. You're everything I want. When a Dupree marries, they marry for life."

Oh God, that sounded wonderful. And she didn’t doubt it. She had seen his brother with his wife and baby, along with Shannon and Kade. But…she would ruin that. If they married, she was sure something she did would ruin it. And while he would be faithful, he wouldn’t be happy. Amanda couldn’t live with herself if she made him unhappy. In her head she knew it was stupid, but she had to listen to her heart.

"I made a promise. I will not marry."

The room went silent, and it seemed odd. Very odd. She wasn't used to the tension that lay in the air between them. This was something...wrong. But she couldn't change her mind.

She needed to get away, to be away from him and everything that she wanted. Did she want to marry him? Hell, with every fiber of her being, but she couldn't take that chance. Not again. She didn't think she would survive. This time.

“Please take me home.”

"Amanda."

“No, please. I need…”

She couldn’t come up with an explanation. He nodded.

He said nothing as he followed her out, locked the door, and then the whole ride home. Nothing. It was actually five minutes from her apartment.

She looked at him. "If you can take what I can offer, then call."

"What, sex, no commitment?"

He sounded angry, and she knew it was more about his pride than his heart. With men, it was always that.

"A commitment, but one without the ties of marriage."

“That’s not what I want.”

“We don’t get what we want most of the time.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek, but he grabbed her.

“I love you, Amanda.”

The intense look on his face told her he believed it. She knew it was true without a doubt, but that didn’t mean she could accept that level of commitment. When she said nothing, he pulled her to him and gave her a hot, wet, fast kiss. She felt his irritation, his need, his passion for her. Then he released her.

She couldn’t say anything else. She wanted to soothe his pain. She couldn’t. It was selfish, but she was in too much pain herself.

She slipped out of the car and walked up to her apartment. It was embarrassing how much she wanted him to come after her, and if he had pushed, she would have broken. She knew he waited until she closed and locked the door. She leaned back against it, hoping against hope that he would come knocking, but she knew better. He wouldn’t. Mal was the type of man who would honor her request.

She slid to the floor, dropping her purse beside her as she felt the tears she’d been fighting slide down her face. Amanda had been so sure when she had given him her ultimatum, but now she wasn’t so sure. She physically hurt…needed him to be there, to hold her. And that was stupid. She had just told him to leave her alone unless he did what she wanted. But she had to keep herself safe and her heart whole.