A Little Light Magic (25 page)

She wanted pink satin sheets and champagne, in a fancy hotel room.

Not a blue cotton quilt in a teenage boy’s bedroom.

She wanted to wake up in the morning to room service and breakfast in bed. Not to sneak back into her house in the dead of the night. She wanted a fourposter bed with a frilly canopy. Not the New Jersey Nets.

She wanted to be a woman making love to a man.

Not a girl fooling around with her boyfriend.

Jason slid his knee between her legs and parted them. He kissed her, their tongues touching. His arousal prodded her, poised at the entrance to her body.

She braced her hands on his shoulders. “Jason.”

“Easy. It won’t hurt. I promise.” He flexed his hips. “No!” Leigh wriggled, trying to stall his forward progress. “No, Jason, stop. I don’t want this.”

“You’re just scared. Relax. It’ll be good.”

“No.” But the word was absorbed by Jason’s kiss. She twisted her head and shoved as hard as she could on his shoulders. “No,” she said, louder. “No.”

When he tried to kiss her again, something snapped. She thrashed, pounding him with her fists.

“Shit.” He caught her wrists in his hands. “Leigh, baby, stop it! What’s gotten into you? What’s wrong?”

She couldn’t look at him. “I told you, I don’t want this, Jason.”

He levered himself up. “You gotta be kidding me. You said you did. I thought you wanted this as much as I do.”

She could hardly look him in the eye. “I…I haven’t been honest. I don’t want it. Not really. At least, not…now. It’s…it’s too soon for me. I’m not ready.”

His eyes showed his hurt. And his anger. “Hell of a time to let me in on it.”

“Jason, I’m—”

He shoved himself off the bed and rolled the condom off his wilting erection. “I asked you down in the kitchen. I told you, if you weren’t ready, just to tell me.”

“I know, Jason, and I’m so—”

His palm slapped the dresser. “Don’t say it, Leigh. Just don’t. I don’t think I can stand an apology right now.” He flung the unused condom in the trash. “Shit.”

He stood with his back to her, arms braced on his dresser, head bowed. He didn’t move for the longest time.

Leigh’s stomach did a nauseating dive. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I…I shouldn’t have let things go this far. I should have told you how I felt.”

“Yeah. You should have. You should have trusted me. But you don’t trust me, do you?”

He pulled on his sweats and shirt without looking at her. When he was dressed, he found her clothes and dropped them at the foot of the bed. She felt very small, lost on his big bed.

“Jason—”

“Get dressed, Leigh.” He headed for the door. “I’ll walk you home.”

Three a.m. was a hell of a time to be walking the beach.

Nick came to a halt at the water’s edge. He stood for a time, looking out to the horizon. He could just spot the thin line where the gray of the ocean met the lighter gray of the sky. A steady wind blew into his face, smelling of damp and brine. No sense going to bed. He had to be up for work in two hours.

God.
Had he gotten Tori pregnant tonight?

He imagined her stomach, round with his child. He thought about how it would be to feel the baby kick against his palm. The past seventeen years flashed through his mind—every good and bad moment of Leigh’s life, it seemed, played in one exhilarating, frightening rush. His throat tightened; his heart sped up. He forced a deep breath and swallowed.

He was scared shitless.

Because Tori might be pregnant, and if she was, the roller coaster would start all over again, and he’d be on it. And just like before, Nick’s relationship with his child’s mother wouldn’t be solid.

As if it could ever be. Truth was, he sucked at relationships. If he could gather every woman he’d ever slept with together in one room, he had no doubt that every single one of them would agree that their breakup was his fault.

He couldn’t handle the emotions, the upheaval, the tears. He’d withdrawn from Cindy emotionally even before Leigh arrived, using every excuse to bury himself in his work. He’d been playing the same game ever since, and truth be told, in all those years of meaningless sex, no woman had ever made him want to change his ways.

Until Tori.

He picked a pebble off the beach and threw it into the ocean as far as he could. He didn’t see it land, didn’t hear the splash. When had being with Tori stopped being about sex? He hadn’t seen the change coming, hadn’t noticed when it happened. But now that it had, he recognized what he felt for her as something beautiful and fragile. Something he wanted to nurture and watch grow.

But Tori kept forcing his hand.

A baby.
Jesus.
It was too soon.

Even so, it hurt that Tori hadn’t wanted
his
baby. That she hadn’t been willing to wait until they could figure out what was happening between them. No, she wanted to be a mother right away, and it seemed any man’s child would do.

The end run of a wave surged past him. It sucked sand from beneath his bare feet as it retreated. He felt like going with it, flinging himself into the sea and swimming until he was exhausted. But he didn’t, of course. That would be irresponsible, and he was never that.

He turned and trudged across the sand, heading home.

At the edge of the dune, he caught the glimpse of a shadow moving on his porch, beyond the seawall. He came to a halt, watching as a dark form caught hold of what looked like a rope dangling from Leigh’s balcony. The figure hoisted itself up onto the stone pier supporting the second floor.

“Hey!” He started to run.

The intruder froze. Reaching the edge of the beach, Nick heaved himself over the seawall. The figure came to life, grabbing for Leigh’s porch rail.

He threw himself after it. “Stop!” His hand closed on the intruder’s ankle. “Stop, or I swear, I will pull you down and break every bone in your body.”

“Daddy, don’t! It’s me.”

“Leigh?” He nearly fell over.

“Yeah.”

He jumped down to the patio. Leigh clung to the pier, one hand gripping the stone, the other wrapped around a rope hanging from her balcony rail. What in God’s name was she doing?

Then it hit him.

She’d sneaked out, and now she was sneaking back in. And there was only one place—one
person
—she could’ve gone to.

He saw red. “Get down here.”

“Dad—”

“Now, Leigh.”

She scrambled down, eyes on the ground.

“Look at me.”

She turned sullen eyes on him, her arms hugging her waist.

“You were with Jason.” He wondered how the hell his voice could sound so deadly calm.

Her chin lifted. “So what if I was?”

He felt like punching something. “God
damn
it, Leigh. I told you to stay away from that kid. Now you’re screwing him behind my back?”

“Would you prefer to watch?”

Nick stared at her, stunned past all belief.
This
was his little girl? With a mouth like that? Rage slammed him like a rogue wave.

“Get out of my sight,” he bit out. “Get into the house this minute, young lady, if you know what’s good for you.”

Leigh hesitated, opening her mouth as if to reply.

“Not a word,” he raged. “Not one. I’m warning you, Leigh.”

His daughter’s eyes widened in real fear. She turned and fled.

Nick followed much, much later.

No father wants to contemplate the loss of his daughter’s virginity.

“You missed a great show last night,” Johnny said, plucking a “Scorpio” scroll from the astrology display. He picked at the tape holding it closed with his thumbnail. “You really shoulda heard Ma sing.”

It wasn’t even six a.m. yet. Tori had been gritty-eyed and grumpy when she’d answered the doorbell. She was sure her eyes were rimmed red from all the crying she’d done in lieu of sleeping.

Johnny had taken one look at her, frowned, and had promptly launched into a stream of upbeat banter. It did nothing to improve her mood. The jittery energy coming off him told her he hadn’t been to bed, either. She hoped his night had gone better than hers.

He flicked his wrist, unraveling the horoscope scroll like a streamer.

“Those are for paying customers, you know,” she told him.

“I’m good for it.” He fished out his wallet and slapped a five on the counter. “Keep the change.”

She slid the bill back to him. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Did you?”

“No.”

His eyes dropped to his horoscope, and for a moment, he looked as if he were reading it. “So,” he said at length. “What happened between you and my ever-so-charming big brother after he whisked you away last night?”

Tori didn’t want to go there. “Not much. Tell me more about Rita’s debut.”

Johnny shot her a hard look, but didn’t call her on her transparent change of subject. “Ma was incredible. She can hit a high C like no one’s business. The audience loved her.”

“That’s wonderful. Was anyone else from the family there?”

He grinned. “Just Nonna. After Alex picked up Sophie and drove Leigh home, I went around to Nonna’s and talked her into being my date. Guess what? After all the complaining, she got a real charge out of Ma’s set. Hollered louder than anyone when it was over.”

Tori smiled, picturing it. “I wish I could’ve been there.”

Johnny caught her gaze. “You could’ve been. You know, when I drove by Nick’s this morning and saw his truck in the driveway, I was surprised. I thought he’d’ve spent the night here with you.”

“Well, he didn’t.”

“Hey.” He abandoned the horoscope and picked up her hand. “Are you sure you’re okay? What did you and Nick…Well, no, wait. On second thought, spare me the details of what you and Nick did or didn’t do. Unless I need to hunt him down and kill him.”

“You don’t,” Tori told him, tugging her hand out of his grip.

He was silent for a moment. Then, “Bullshit. At the minimum, I should beat the living crap out of him. You want to talk about it?”

Tori sighed. Why was it that Johnny always knew when to push, and Nick never did? Better yet, why was it that Johnny seemed so in tune with her moods, when Nick was the one who tied her heart in knots?

Easy answer. She didn’t love Johnny. She loved Nick.

But, damn it, she needed someone to talk to.

“All right. You win. I guess I’m just…confused.”

“A little more than confused, I’d say. But that’s a start. What exactly don’t you understand?”

“Well, for one thing,” she began, “that kiss you gave me last night. Was it real?”

Johnny abruptly rediscovered the horoscope scroll. “What do you think?”

“If I knew, I wouldn’t ask.”

He drew a breath, then caught her eye and grinned. His hand went to his heart. “Macey Lark, you wound me. Dr. Gavin Hunter must not be much of a kisser.”

She smiled. “Oh, he isn’t half-bad.”

“That’s a relief.” His tone was carefully light.

She met his gaze. “It’s just that Macey’s in love with someone else.”

Johnny’s blue eyes were soft. “Hunter knows that. He just wishes he could’ve kicked some sense into the stubborn ass’s head for you.”

“Thanks,” Tori said. Silence fell. When it started getting awkward, she asked, “When’s your screen test?”

“Next week. And if that goes okay, they’ll call me back for a final. Since my day job’s history, I’m giving Ma my slot at the club and blowing town. I’ll be staying with friends in Manhattan for a while.”

He paused, and the silence settled around them again. When she didn’t reply, he let out a long breath. “Nick cares a lot about you, Tori.”

She tried for a laugh. “I don’t know about that. He’s in lust with me; that’s all.”

“No, it’s more than that. After what I saw last night, I’d run over to the Borgata and put money on it. I’ve never seen my brother so tied up in knots over a woman.”

She sighed. “All we do is fight.”

“It’s the baby thing,” Johnny said. “It’s thrown him.” He hesitated. “Did he tell you Leigh almost died when she was a baby?”

She looked up, startled. “He said something about Leigh being a difficult baby, but I thought he was just talking about colic.”

“It was a lot more than that. It’s a miracle she’s still alive.”

“I had no idea.”

“Nick never talks about it,” Johnny said. “I don’t remember too many details about Leigh’s birth—I was only seven at the time. She came six weeks too early. She was in the hospital for a couple months. After she finally came home, she had this problem where she’d just stop breathing. She had to sleep wired to an alarm for more than a year. The thing used to go off two, three times a night.”

“Oh, God.”

“Once it was really bad. She was turning blue. Nick couldn’t get her breathing again and Ma called the ambulance. After they got her stabilized, Nick just lost it. He threw up, and then broke down sobbing. I’d never seen him cry before—I thought he was invincible. That image never left me. He’s human, Tori. He’s stubborn and can be an ass, but gets scared shitless sometimes, too. Just like the rest of us.”

Her own eyes filled with tears as she thought about it. She couldn’t begin to imagine how Nick must have felt that night.

Johnny straightened away from the counter and paced a few steps toward the door. “When Leigh got older, she developed asthma. She’s mostly outgrown it now, but she was in the emergency room plenty of times when she was younger. She still carries an inhaler everywhere.” He stopped, drew a breath. “It’s why Nick’s so hard on her. He just wants to protect her.”

“I didn’t realize.”

Johnny turned, his eyes seeking hers. “Leigh’s put Nick through hell over the years. If he doesn’t want another child, well, that’s why. He doesn’t think he can handle it.”

Tori’s hand stole to her stomach.

No condom, and it was the fertile time of her cycle.

Nick might not have a choice.

Nick came awake with a start, heart pounding inside his ribs. He’d fallen asleep sprawled on top of his comforter—even though he hadn’t meant to doze, didn’t even remember lying down.

He’d dreamed of Leigh, her infant body limp in his hands, her lips turning blue before his eyes. The shrill bleat of the sleep apnea alarm still rang in his ear.

He sat up, trying to shake the past from his head. His hands were actually trembling. His stomach felt sick.

He glanced at the clock and saw it was past seven.
Damn.
He had a job site meeting at seven thirty. Shoving himself off the bed, he stripped and dressed without even taking a shower. He’d grab coffee on the way in. With any luck, he’d make it on time.

As he descended the stairs, Leigh’s voice drifted up from the foyer. An adolescent male voice answered her.

Nick halted in midstep.

Jason.

The idiot must have a freaking death wish.

“…sorry,” Jason was saying. “I just wanted you to know.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” Leigh returned in a low voice. “My dad—”

“Leigh, give me a minute. I was a jerk last night. I’m sorry.”

Leigh’s reply was tight. “You didn’t say a word the whole time we walked home.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. But don’t cut me off now. I need to—”

“I’m not cutting you off. My dad caught me climbing up the balcony after you left. I thought he was going to have a stroke! If he sees you now, he’ll—”

“Beat you to a bloody pulp,” Nick said as he descended the last steps into the foyer. “Or maybe I’ll just beat you senseless. You’re not welcome here, MacAllister. Get out.”

Jason met his gaze unflinchingly. He was so tall, his eyes were on a level with Nick’s. “Mr. Santangelo, I—”

Nick advanced. Jason, wisely, took a step back.

“Leigh’s forbidden to see you,” Nick said, trying to keep his voice even, but not quite succeeding. “But somehow, you can’t get that through your thick skull. Can’t keep your pants zipped. Well, think of
this
the next time you get a hard-on: Touch my daughter again and I will take you apart piece by piece.”

“Daddy!”

Real fear registered in Jason’s eyes, but to Nick’s amazement, the kid held his ground.

“You don’t understand, sir. Leigh and I—”

Nick wrenched the front door open. “Get out, MacAllister. Get out now, or so help me God, I won’t care what I do to you.”

Jason stumbled backward so fast he nearly fell down the damn front steps.
That kid screwed my daughter
, Nick thought savagely.
My daughter.
He felt like pounding Jason’s face into the sidewalk.

Somehow, he managed to keep from laying a hand on him.

He slammed the door shut and turned to face Leigh. Her blue eyes were blazing with fury. Well, too bad. She wasn’t the only one royally pissed.

“I can’t believe you talked to Jason like that!”

“You’re on shaky ground, young lady. I suggest you don’t make things worse for yourself.”

“Worse? How could I possibly make things worse? I’m the daughter of a raving lunatic!”

“And I’m the father of a little slut. How long have you been sneaking out to screw Jason? A month? Two months?”

“Oh!” Leigh’s fingers curled into fists, her whole body shaking. Her blonde hair whipped around her face as she shook her head. “Why do I even bother talking to you? You never listen.”

“I’m listening now,” Nick said evenly. “Tell me. How long?”

Her chin lifted. “Oh, probably just about as long as you’ve been screwing Tori.”

There was a long, thick silence.

Nick’s face went hot. “You leave Tori out of this. She’s a grown woman. You’re not.”

“So you keep telling me.”

“At least tell me Jason used a condom. A baby is the last thing you need. A pregnancy at your age will screw up your whole life.”

There was another beat of dead silence; then pain blossomed in Leigh’s eyes.

“Yeah. You should know all about that, huh?”

Ah, shit.
Nick dragged his hand over his head. “I wasn’t talking about you. You know that.”

“I do? Could’ve fooled me. I know I was your big screwup. I
know
you didn’t want me. But you can relax. I’m smarter than Mom was. I carry my own condoms.”

“You do?” Nick was stunned.

“Yeah. In my purse. I never know when I might need one.”

“Shit.”

She tilted her head, her heavy blonde hair brushing her shoulders, and for a moment Nick saw Cindy, looking just like this on the morning she’d left him. He shut his eyes.

“You want to know where I got them?” he heard her say. “From Tori, that’s where. She gave them to me.”

He opened his eyes and sucked in a breath.

“
Tori
gave you
condoms
?”

“Yeah. She told me I needed to be prepared, because guys screw first and think later.” She crossed her arms and waited a beat. “But I guess you know all about that, huh, Dad?”

Jesus.
How could Nick possibly come up with an answer for that?

He was guilty as charged.

“You gave my daughter condoms,” Nick shouted. “
Condoms
, for chrissakes.”

“Nick.” If Tori had thought Nick had been angry the night before, it was nothing compared to how enraged he was now. She found herself wishing Johnny hadn’t left fifteen minutes before.

“Good morning to you, too. Do you want to come in? Or would you rather wake my neighbors?”

“Are you saying you didn’t do it?” he demanded, striding into the shop. He pivoted to face her. “Are you saying my daughter is a liar?”

“No,” Tori replied quietly. “I’m not saying that.”

He paced the cramped space in front of her counter, like a wounded panther trapped in a cage.

“I caught her sneaking into the house last night. She’d been with Jason.” He scowled in Tori’s direction. “She said she talked to you about sex. She said you gave her condoms. God
damn
it, Tori. Is it true?”

“Yes, but—”

Nick swore. “How dare you tell my daughter to have sex with her boyfriend.”

“I didn’t tell her that! Not in so many words. I just talked to her. She came to me for advice.”

“For what? Which position to do it in?”

“Don’t be crude,” Tori said sharply. “Leigh was trying to decide whether she should do it at all. I told her to trust her heart.”

“What kind of crap is that to tell a teenager? You should’ve told her to keep her goddamn knees pressed together.”

Tori drew a breath. “Leigh’s seventeen, Nick. She’ll be eighteen before the year’s out. She’s not a child anymore.”

“She’s not
your
child, you mean.”

He started pacing again. “You had no right to interfere, Tori. Do you know what it does to me, thinking of Leigh taking off her clothes for that kid? He’s a jock out for whatever he can get. If he gets her pregnant, she’ll be paying for it for years.”

“Which is exactly why I gave her the condoms.”

“She wouldn’t need condoms if she’d just stay away from him. He’s leaving for college in a couple months. She doesn’t need to be pining over him once he’s gone. Letting him go would’ve been a hell of a lot easier if she hadn’t slept with him.”

“A lot of things are easier if you don’t get close to someone.”

He exhaled. “Tori—”

But he didn’t have time to finish the sentence, because just then Tori got her third early-morning visitor.

Leigh.

Nick’s daughter faltered briefly in the doorway as her father swung around to confront her. Then she marched into the shop, chin lifted. Nick’s face flushed purple. Tori thought he was going to explode.