A Little Lost (12 page)

BOOK TITLE

              I’m dying. I wouldn’t be in this much pain if I wasn’t.

              I might actually still be a little drunk, at least that’s the excuse I’m going for as to why I’m stumbling over boxes on my way down the stairs. I started boxing up most of my things a few weeks ago and now everything is everywhere.

              I shuffle my way to the door ready to curse out who ever has woken me up but stop when I notice the boxes in the kitchen, there’s something different about them. I count out all twenty and decide not to worry about it.

              “Oh it’s you” I frown at Amber and Kyle stood on my doorstep. I really am not in the mood for their happiness and togetherness today.

              “As happy as ever I see” Kyle notes dryly leading Amber into my home.

              “Mmm” I grumble as I close the door behind them.

              “You’ve already started sorting through your fathers things?” He asks looking impressed when he sees all the boxes everywhere.

              “Sure, the funeral was a month ago. I had to do it sooner or later” I answer trying to lead them into the front room.

              “We would have helped if we had known, it can’t be easy for you” Amber smiles at me putting a supportive hand on my shoulder.

              “It’s fine, don’t worry about it” I wave a hand dismissively as I watch Kyle head to the kitchen “Umm … we should just go in the other room. It’s a bit of a mess in there” I try, running around in front of him to block the way. They both look at me as if I’ve just grown two heads.

              “It’s okay, don’t worry. I just want a cup of coffee” Kyle tries to step around me but I block his attempt. He sighs impatiently and throws his head back as if praying for patience “Lou, stop it, come on”

              I continue to try and block him from stepping around me but he wins in the end and I wince when he stops before reaching the boxes.

              “What’s this?” He asks looking at me and then down at the boxes and starts reading aloud “Burn bitch burn … voodoo crap … beach fire … I never did like history anyway … life’s a bitch … shit-in-a-box … Kyle’s crap” He looks up at me and then picks the envelope up from it’s place on top of the last box. Okay so I got a bit carried away with a marker when I got in last night, that’s what was different about them. Oops.

              “Umm … you should just take that home with you” I try to sound nonchalant but I can hear the nervousness in my voice.

              “What is that?” Amber asks him looking at the envelope over his shoulder.

              I watch as he opens it and reads a few lines before he looks back up at me questioningly.

              “I don’t understand” Amber says reading the papers in front of her.

              “You should both take it away with you and talk about it” I suggest remembering that she thinks we only dated for a short time, not that we dated for five years and bought a house together.  A house that I am now signing my half of over to him. 

              “Why are you doing this?”

              I look up from where I’m sat at my fathers desk and frown at Kyle stood in the doorway to the office.

              “I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” I ask turning over the papers in front of me so he can’t see them.

              “All of this? Why are you doing it?” he asks shaking his hand in front of him and I see that he’s holding the papers that give him my half of the house.

              “Seemed like the right thing to do” I shrug at him “I was going to give it to you as a wedding present but I wasn’t sure if Amber would want to live there after I have”

              “I can’t believe it’s still ours. I thought you would have sold it when I left” he takes a few steps into the office and sits at on the edge of the desk.

              “It’s not still ours, it’s yours. I didn’t sell it because it wasn’t mine to sell. You own half of it Kyle, it wasn’t down to me to sell alone” To be honest the thought never once crossed my mind to sell it, I guess part of me always hoped we would live in it together again someday. But I keep that to myself.

              “I would have signed whatever you needed me to. When I left, I left it to you. I might not have said it but I gave you this” he waves the papers again.

              “Now I’m giving it to you back. I don’t want or need it. You and Amber need a place to live, I know that it can’t be easy living with your parents so I thought if she doesn’t want to live there at least you can sell it and use the money to buy some place else”

              “It wouldn’t bother you if I lived in that house with Amber?” he asks incredulously.

              “No” I lie and shake my head to emphasize it.

              He raises an eyebrow at me “You wouldn’t mind at all? You could walk past there knowing that I’d be sharing our home with someone else? I don’t believe you”

              “Why don’t you believe me?”

              “Because it would bother me if you lived there with someone else” He says it so quietly I’m not sure I heard him correctly.

              “It’s not our home anymore, that’s history just like us”

              “You really are over it aren’t you”

              “And you’re not?” I snort at the ridiculousness of it all he’s getting married to someone else but still wants me to miss what we had.

              “Not always no. I remember how happy we were. I wish I never left. I wish we were still together and still as much in love as we were then”

              His confession takes me off guard and I stand from the desk, not letting myself believe it.

              “Want to know what I wish? I wish you never came back, I wish you stayed away because I was happier when I didn’t realise I was unhappy”

              He calls after me but I leave the office and the house ignoring him and the whole of our conversation. 

              As I’m walking across the beach making my way towards town I spot Amber, Mason and Anne all sat in the sand laughing and talking animatedly. Unfortunately I can’t just ignore them because they wave me over. I force a smile and approach them.

              “Did Kyle tell you?” Anne asks excitedly beaming at me.

              “Tell me what?” I ask and watch as both Anne and Amber smile at each other but Mason looks uncomfortable.

              “I’m pregnant” Amber announces.

              I force a smile and reach down to wrap my arms around her “Congratulations, I’m really happy for you both”

              “What have you been doing dear? No one has seen you for a few days”

              As I look down into Masons concerned eyes I silently beg myself not to throw up on him and just pray my smile lasts long enough for me to get away from them.

              “I’ve been packing and sorting the house out ready for the new family that’s moving in. They’re really nice. I think everyone here will love them”

              “If you’re selling the house, where will you live?” Anne frowns at me.

              “I’m moving a few towns over. There isn’t anything left around here for me but bad memories. I need a fresh start. Today is actually my last official day in town”

              “Hey baby” Amber grins and we all turn to where she is looking, Kyle and Travis are making their way towards us. Travis looks angry and Kyle looks stressed.

              “Are you having a leaving party or anything?” Anne asks me turning her attention back to me.

              “No, I’m just going to have a quiet drink with Cat probably. I don’t want a fuss” I try to be a nonchalant as I can.

              “What fuss?” Travis asks when they finally reach us.

              “Louise is leaving town” Anne tells him sending me an encouraging smile for some reason.

              “What?” Kyle demands and everyone turns to stare at him.

              “She’s sold her parents house and she leaves tomorrow” Mason tells him sending him a strange look that I can’t comprehend.

              “You’ve been planning on leaving for a while?” he asks me ignoring everyone else.

              “A few weeks” I shrug at him then turn to everyone else. “I should be going, I have a few things I need to pick up in town before I leave. If I don’t see you all again before I go take care of each other and thank you for everything you have done for me in the last couple of months” I smile at them all and Mason stands up to hug me.

              “You’re going to regret this” he whispers in my ear.

              “It’s for the best” I whisper back and hold back the tears but one escapes anyway. “I’ll really miss you, you have been like a second father to me” I squeeze him hard and he returns the gesture.

              When he finally releases me I gather my emotions and put them under control before I turn to Kyle and Amber who are now sat next to each other.

              “Congratulations on the baby. You two will make fantastic parents and I know you’ll both be happy for a long time”

              “Thank you, and I hope you find happiness in your future” Amber smiles at me but Kyle doesn’t look at me. I’m not all that surprised he didn’t say good bye last time so I don’t expect him to this time.

              “C’mon, I’ll walk into town with you” Travis links his arm through mine and I wave to the group as we head across the beach.

              “I’m sorry” he says when we are out of hearing distance, “I didn’t know she was pregnant”

              “Neither did I until about ten minutes ago”

              “So that’s not why you’re leaving?” I can hear the confusion in his voice.

              “I’m leaving because I need to move on. I can’t get over him if I see him everyday and he’s sending me mixed signals so I’m confused. I want a fresh start. I want to be happy again” I sigh a long hard breath and wraps his arm around me pulling me close and then dragging me down onto the sand with him.

              “I thought we were going to town?” I frown at him, not sure what he has planned.

              “Do you really need to go, or was that just an excuse to get away from them?” he asks raising an eyebrow at me.

              “Just an excuse” `I admit smiling slightly “kind of knocked me for six when she told me about the baby, he had just told me he wished we were still together and then I find out he’s going to be a dad. Kind of awkward”

              “I’m sorry, I feel for you, I do. When he came back everyone was giving you a hard time, even me. We all just assumed that you would attempt to try and win him back or something but from the sounds of it, he’s been the one we all should have warned”

              “It doesn’t matter anymore” I shrug at him.

              “So you’re really going then”

              “Yeap, today is my last official day here” I stretch my legs out, wondering how much I’ll miss this town, it’s all I have ever known and holds so many memories, both good and bad.

              Travis takes advantage of my distracted state and reaches over undoing the zipper on my jacket, I make a move to grab it but he has it off me and is running across the beach away from me. I jump up and try to cover myself p, I’m wearing a bikini top but it’s a little chilly on the beach. I take off after him “Hey, Collins you’re not funny!” I shout across the beach, he turns his head and grins at me not breaking his stride “I’m going to kill you” I scream picking up my pace, he just laughs and starts running in circles to prove how much farther in front of me he is. As I run across the beach I swipe the hat off Masons head as I pass him and his family.

              “Hey, What the..” he calls out making me laugh and Travis turns to see what’s going on, he trips over and I catch up to him, I dive on top of him and try to wrestle my jacket back off him. He’s too fast for my and has me pinned down underneath him in a matter of seconds.

              “I thought you were going to kill me?” he smirks at me and I squeal trying to wriggle out from under him when he starts tickling me.

              Mason finally reaches us out of breath and laughing at us.

              “Don’t just stand there, do something!” I cry out through laughing at him, he shakes his head at us and makes a grab for his hat but I swing it away from him, knocking Travis in the head in the process. He’s momentarily stunned from the hit and I move from under him taking one of his shoes with me, I take off towards the water with his shoe and Masons hat in my hand. When I turn my head I can see them both running towards me, I move my eyes around the beach looking for a ally but no one is paying any attention to us apart from Anne, Amber and Kyle who are all watching the commotion bemused.