A Little Lost (4 page)

              “Hey daddy, you should be sleeping” I whisper sitting on the bed next to him.

              “You know I can’t go to sleep until you’re home safe” he says wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me down next to him.

              “I’m twenty five, I think I’m old enough to look after myself” I point out snuggling up next to him.

              “Not to old for a cuddle though I see” he chuckles playing with my hair.

              “Never” I whisper and turn the bedside lamp off.

1

BOOK TITLE

              As soon as we walk into the nightclub I resist the urge to turn and walk back out when I spot Kyle and Travis sat down in the corner.

              “Don’t even try it” Cat warns grabbing my arm, guess I only half resisted then. “This place is big enough for the both of you”

              “I have to get drunk” I huff and make a beeline for the bar. I spot Jen at the bar and she’s stood with Amber “Oh god, why are you doing this to me?” I ask the ceiling.

              “I didn’t know she was coming along” Cat says putting her hands up in front of her when I turn on her.

              “Can’t we go somewhere else?” I beg pathetically but it’s too late because the girls have seen us and are waving us over.

              “Hey, I went over yours earlier and Chris told me to meet you here. I hope you don’t mind me crashing your night out” Amber say pulling me into a hug.

              “Its fine” I smile at her, it’s impossible not to.

              “I’m a bit worried though, Kyle’s here and I don’t want him to think I’m checking up on him” she says biting her lip nervously.

              “You’re with us, don’t worry he can’t think anything else” Cat assures her.

              “Oh my god, you have to tell them about how he proposed!” Jen gushes “It’s so romantic you’ll just want to die when you hear about it”

              “I’ll bet” Cat says quiet enough for only me to hear.

              I smile encouragingly at Amber because I don’t think I could actually ask her to tell me.

              “It’s sweet really” she smiles remembering the moment “He took me back to where we first met one night, to the park and laid out a blanket, picnic under the stars in our spot. He played the song I was listening to on my iPod when I first bumped into him on my run and we made love to the music, when we were just lying there in the park with no light but the stars and moon he turns to me and pulled out a ring from his jacket. Told me how beautiful, smart and funny I was and that he can’t imagine his life without me and when he looks to the future all he sees is me and then asked me to make his heart complete and marry him” She sighs happily and I try to swallow back the bile rising up my throat.

              “Wow” I manage to smile and hug her.

              “That is really sweet” Cat hugs her and sends me a look asking if I’m ok.

              “Okay ladies, soppy moments over, let’s get drunk!” Jen announces wiping a tear from her eye but saying words that make me want to marry her.

              “After last night I’m quite excited to see what trouble you two get into when the guys aren’t around” Amber says to me and Cat looking amused and excited.

              Cat smirks at her and then me “First we have to get her drunk, then the fun really starts” she winks at Ambers little squeal of joy and I roll my eyes.

              They waste no time encouraging me to get drunk, not that I need to be encouraged after hearing Ambers story but before I realize it, I’m slurring and stumbling. I know I’m going to regret this in the morning but every time someone hands me a drink I think of Amber and Kyle making love under the stars and down my drink in one. When they noticed this is how it’s going down tonight, they stopped giving me shots and doubles.

              “Jesus, girl can drink!” Amber shouts over the music.

              “This is where the fun begins” Cat tells her laughing at me glaring at my glass because it dares to be empty.

              “I need another one” I hold up my glass.

              “Nuh uh, I don’t think you should have anymore” Jen laughs at me shaking her head.

              “Why, I’m not that drunk yet” I defend.

              “Prove it” she challenges.

              I look around and think about what I can do to prove I’m not so drunk that I don’t know what I’m doing. “Oh look here comes my ex boyfriend, we can have some fun with him” I smirk when Cat whips her head around and Amber looks around curiously.

              “Ben” I smile when he reaches us. I dated Ben for a while before I met Kyle.

              “Hey, want to dance?” he asks me ignoring the others.

              “No men tonight, sorry Ben, girl’s night” I shrug at him.

              “You’ll let her have one dance with me won’t you ladies?” he asks turning to the others for the first time. I watch when his eyes land on Amber and he slowly takes her in with his eyes.

              “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Ben” he smiles his one hundred mega watt grin at her.

              “Amber” she smiles shaking his hand but making sure he sees her engagement ring. Got to give it her she’s good.

              “Amber’s Kyle’s fiancée” Cat pipes up making me wince when he swings his head around to me.

              “You’re out with the woman that your ex-boyfriend is engaged to?” he asks me clearly not able to believe this.

              “Excuse me? Ex-boyfriend?” Amber asks and all eyes turn to me. Moment of truth.

              “We dates a few years ago that’s all, didn’t he tell you?” I pretend to be shocked.

              “Umm … no” she shakes her head at me.

              “Trust me, it was no big deal. I’m not surprised he didn’t mention it really, it didn’t work out. He wasn’t happy with me. I couldn’t give him what you do”

              “What’s that?” she asks looking confused.

              “That light in his eyes when he looks at you. He loves you and he’s happy with you. I’m just someone he dated, you’re the important one” I rub her arm to reassure her and the others send me strange looks.

              “Oh, it’s just a surprise that’s all” she smiles but she’s looking at me differently now. You know like you do when you weigh up your boyfriends ex-girlfriend to see how much of a threat she is. I’m getting that look now. Not sure that I’m managing to keep my expression blank thanks to the alcohol I walk away from them – or stumble however you look at it – to the bathroom. On my way back I bump into Travis, he catches me and I manage to stay upright. 

              “Whoa there Lou” he laughs letting me go.

              “Hey, out of all the nightclubs you had to chose this one” I say poking him in the arm.

              “What … oh you mean Kyle?” he asks when recognition hits. “Stay away from him Lou, he’s happy”

              “Stay away from him! I haven’t gone near him!” I practically shout at him. “His fiancée however keeps following me around. Although now she knows I’m one of his ex’s I don’t think she will be anymore”

              “What did you tell her?” he groans pulling me away from a few people walking past us.

              “I didn’t tell her anything. Just that we dated a few years ago and it meant nothing”

              “Just don’t ruin this for him” he warns.

              “I don’t plan to! I’m glad he’s happy, why does everyone feel the need to come up and tell me he’s back, I know. What do you want me to do about it? Tell him to go back? Why won’t you all just leave me alone like you are him?” I ask angry that he thinks I want to come between Kyle and Amber.

              “Because not once did you just say that you’re happy too” he says smiling sadly at me.

              “I am happy or as happy as I can be at the moment anyway” Oppps didn’t mean for that to slip out.

              “What do you mean? As happy as you can be?” he asks pulling his eyebrows in.

              I shake my head at him “Nothing that concerns Kyle or Amber don’t worry, you’re best friends happiness is safe from me the apparent home wrecking bitch” I snap to distract him and walk away before he can call me on.

              “That’s not what I meant” he calls after me but I ignore him. I walk past Kyle and he calls me over but I ignore him too, not wanting anyone to think I’m trying to get him back.

              “Why do you look pissed?” Cat asks when I join her at the bar; Jen and Amber are on the dance floor.

              “Apparently everyone in town is worried I’m going to try and come between them” I know I don’t have to say their names for her to know who I’m talking about.

              “What? Says who?” she asks frowning at me.

              “Travis told me to leave him alone because he’s happy. I wonder if Chris will move away with me” I ask even though I know he wouldn’t and I can’t move away any time in the near future so it’s pointless in even wishing.

              “Of course he would but you don’t need to move away, just give it time for everyone to get used to” she pulls me into her side and hands me another drink which I gratefully accept.

              After putting Cat and Jen in a taxi I flag one down for myself, I’m just about to climb in when Amber calls me.

              “Is there room in there for us?” she shouts across the street at me.

              “Sure” I call back and sit over by the window. She climbs in next to me and Kyle sits next to her. Travis sits in the front with the driver and tells him his address because he lives closer.

              “Why didn’t you get into a taxi with the girls, you all live on the same street near enough” Travis asks turning around to face me.

              “I’m not living in that house at the moment” I answer and look out the window when the other two turn to look at me.

              “I’m sorry I didn’t realize you and Chris were having problems. I guess I shouldn’t have gone over there earlier but I had no other way of contacting you” Amber says squeezing my hand.

              I don’t bother correcting her on her assumption instead I give her my cell number.

              “Where to next?” The driver asks I look to Kyle because I don’t know where he lives.

              “You staying with your dad?” he asks me to which I nod and he gives the driver my dads address.

              “I’ll see you both around then” I smile and hug Amber in the back of the taxi when we pull up outside my parent’s house.

              “Umm can I come say hello to him?” Kyle asks.

              I don’t answer straight away “I know it’s late but I bet he still waits up for you to come home” he smiles at me.

              “Umm … well” I start but Amber cuts me off.

              “It’s fine, I’ll wait here”

              “But …” I try again

              “I’ll be quick I promise” Kyle says opening his door and getting out before I can stop him.

              “This isn’t a good idea” I shake my head when he follows me into the house, I close the door behind us and Kyle looks around. He walks into the front room and I following knowing that he isn’t in there. “Where is he?” he asks heading for the kitchen.

              “Upstairs” I sigh and start for the stairs.

              “Dad, are you awake?” I ask knocking on his door.

              “Wait here” I whisper to Kyle and walk over to my dad pulling the blanket up over him. “Someone wants to say hi” I tell him giving him a kiss on the cheek “be nice, I’ll wait outside” I warn.

              “You can go in, I’ll be downstairs” I tell Kyle when I’m back in the foyer. He frowns at me but walks into the room anyway. I close the door behind him and head into the kitchen flipping the kettle on. I have made my self a coffee and am sitting in the chair rubbing my now bare feet when Kyle returns to the kitchen, looking sick.

              “Sorry, I told him to be nice” I smile apologetically at him, knowing that lately he has been taking his illness out on different people.

              “You’re not staying here because you and Chris are having problems are you?” he asks standing by the kitchen door.

              “No”

              “How long does he have left?” he asks watching me.

              “The doctors gave him six months, four months ago” I answer in my automatic void of any emotion voice the way that I always do when asked that question.

              “Why isn’t Chris staying here with you?” he frowns at me.

              “Daddy doesn’t like Chris” I shrug “never has”

              “You’re doing this alone?” he asks still not coming into the room.

              “Yeah, I don’t want anyone else to know so please don’t tell anyone. I understand you shouldn’t keep anything from Amber, but please ask her not to tell anyone else. Cat and Tom don’t even know”

              “First your mum and now your dad… I’m so sorry Lou”

              I look down so I don’t have to see the sympathy in his eyes; it’s hard enough as it is.