A Love to Live For (10 page)

I became even more depressed after Michelle left that afternoon, saying her husband would miss her if she was gone long. She was my pillar of strength and support, after all, and now that she had gone far away again, I felt weak.

To make matters worse, I received a letter from my client that evening saying that the drawings I made, while not dreadful, were not in the style she requested, two of them not conveying what she wanted them to convey, and so she wanted me to change them all. In short, she wanted me to do the drawings all over again from scratch.

I wanted to cry in frustration at that, but knowing that would not do any good, I decided to go out instead for some fresh air. I suddenly wished that Joseph was home and that I could go to his house to talk to him so that I could vent off some of my frustration but since he wasn’t, I just drove around town on my bike.

After a while, I stopped to sit on a bench in front of the diner, resting my legs and catching my breath. It was then that a familiar voice interrupted me.

“Rebecca?”

I looked up to see Vincent carrying a bag of snacks from the convenience store.

“Vincent,” I greeted him, my hand automatically reaching behind my ear to tuck some loose tendrils of hair.

He smiled. “What are you doing out here? Are you with anyone?”

I shook my head. “I was just riding my bike.”

“Is that some exercise routine or something?”

I shook my head again. “I just wanted to take a break, I guess.”

He nodded. “Well, do you want to come to my house? My brother and his fiancée, Amy, along with Amy’s friend and her boyfriend are having a movie night and they asked me to go out to get some snacks. You can join us, too, if you want.”

I hesitated, not knowing if it was the right thing to do. I was going out with Joseph, after all, so it didn’t seem right to hang out with Vincent. Then again, it wasn’t like Vincent and I were going on a date. We were just going to watch a movie at his house along with his brother and some friends.

“I…I’m not so sure,” I said, tucking some more loose tendrils behind my ear.

“Come on,” Vincent insisted. “You said you wanted to take a break, didn’t you? It’ll be fun. Afterwards, I can take you home if you want.”

I thought about it some more, then, deciding that I really did need a break, I agreed. “Alright. I guess it wouldn’t be any harm.”

He smiled, clearly pleased with my decision. Together, we hoisted my bike at the back of his truck. Then, he drove to his house while I called my Dad, telling him that I was out with my friends and that I would be home late, and that he shouldn’t worry about me. My Dad sounded even more worried after I told him that, which was often the case, but he didn’t tell me to come home early or anything, simply telling me to take care and have fun.

I had never been to Vincent’s house before and so I did not know where it was but I was glad to find out I knew the area where he lived – then again, I probably knew all of Continental after living there for twenty years. Once at his house, he introduced me to his brother, Garett, whom I had never met, and whom I could not help but think was not as good-looking as him, and then his brother introduced me to the rest of gang.

After that, I helped Vincent pour the chips into bowls and bring out the cans of soda into the living room, then we all sat down to watch the movie.

The movie happened to be ‘Troy’, which was Amy’s pick and which Vincent, Garett and Amy’s friend had not watched yet. I had watched it already and frankly, did not really love it in spite of the fact that it contained three of my favorite actors. Still, before long, I found my eyes glued to the screen, watching it as if I was doing so for the first time, my problems forgotten as I occasionally reached for the bowl of chips and took a sip from my can of soda.

When the movie was done more than three hours later, Garett, Amy and their friends went outside to have a chat before parting ways and Vincent and I were left in the living room. After cleaning up, we sat on the couch. Strangely, I no longer felt my heart pounding as it used to whenever I was in Vincent’s presence nor did I feel uneasy or eager to please, and I wondered if Joseph was the cause of it. Maybe now that I was in love with Joseph, no other man could affect me anymore…wait, did I really say that?

“Did you like the movie?” Vincent asked me.

I nodded. “I’ve watched it before but I still liked it.”

“Oh, come on, you don’t have to be so nice,” Vincent said. “I, for one, didn’t like it.”

“You didn’t?”

“I couldn’t just leave, though, not when everyone seemed to be so engrossed with it and swooning over Brad Pitt and…”

“I was not swooning over Brad Pitt,” I told him. “And I doubt Garrett and Noah were.”

He laughed.

“Anyway, thanks for coming.”

I shook my head. “I should thank you for inviting me.”

“Would you care to tell me what’s wrong? I’m no good at giving advice but maybe you could just use someone to talk to.”

As he spoke, I realized that it was the first time that we had ever really talked, apart from that snippet of conversation last night at the reunion, which I wasn’t sure even counted as a conversation really. Mostly, I had just stared at him from afar, not having the guts to approach him, content just to admire him and have an occasional glance thrown in my direction.

At that thought, I suddenly remembered Joseph and I wondered if he, too, had been just like me, watching me from afar and having conversations with me inside his head. It made me think that what they said was true – that there is always someone secretly in love with you and that sometimes, you can get so busy chasing after someone you thought you loved that you didn’t notice your heart really belonged to the one you left behind, or the one who was just beside you but whom you never really paid attention to.

“Well?” Vincent spoke, making me realize I had fallen silent.

“Is it so obvious that something is wrong with me?” I asked him.

“Well, you looked so happy yesterday at the reunion, and now it seems you’re not.”

I sighed. “Well, a lot of stuff has happened since then, but mostly, I think I’m upset about work.”

For a moment, I thought about telling him about my problem with Joseph but decided not to. I had already told one person about Joseph’s condition that day and did not want to tell another person about it unnecessarily. Besides, I didn’t feel comfortable about talking to Vincent about something so personal since we didn’t really know each other that well in spite of the fact that I had a huge crush on him once.

“I see,” he said. “What was your work again?”

“I work as a freelance book illustrator.”

“That sounds fun.”

“It is, but this time, one of my clients didn’t like the style of my illustrations so I have to start all over again.”

“Really? That’s a little mean.”

I shrugged. “If the client doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it. There’s nothing I can do but make the illustrations again until he likes them.”

“So basically, you get clients online, then you do illustrations for them and send them back?”

I nodded.

“Why not work for a publishing company? That way, you have regular work and regular pay.”

“Do you know how hard it is to get a job at a publishing company?”

He grinned. “I know a friend who happens to hold a high position in one in Philadelphia.”

“Really?”

“Really. I can ask him if they have a vacancy for book illustrators.”

I smiled then looked away. “That would be nice, but that would mean I’d have to leave Continental, though, right and live there in Philadelphia.”

“I guess.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that, but thanks for offering anyway.”

He smiled. For a moment, he was silent. Then, he spoke again. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes?”

“You used to like me, didn’t you?”

I laughed, then covered my cheeks in embarrassment. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”

He gave a chuckle of his own.

“But yes, I did,” I decided to admit it. “As I’m sure many of the other girls did,” I added to make it sound less embarrassing.

“Can I ask why?”

“Nope.” I shook my head. “You might get too full of yourself.”

He chuckled again, then his expression became slightly serious. “I’m sorry I never noticed.”

“Oh, come on. It’s not your fault.”

He paused before speaking again. “Can I tell you something?”

I nodded.

“The reason I came back was not just to help my brother but mostly because I’m trying to get over a heartache.”

That puzzled me for a little bit, since I could not imagine someone as good-looking as Vincent being heartbroken but I said nothing.

“I just broke off my engagement to Lizzie after I learned she was cheating on me.”

“Oh.” I patted him on the back instinctively. “That’s sad, but I’m sure you’ll get over it.”

We started talking about Lizzie then and after a while, I realized that I had never really known the guy I had a crush on. I knew I would still like him, though, if I wasn’t already going out with Joseph and I offered to be his friend, seeing that he needed one at the moment.

After our conversation, he drove me home and before I got out of his truck, he held my hand.

“Thank you, Rebecca.”

I nodded. “Thank you, too.”

I hopped out of his truck and he did the same, the two of us getting my bike down from the back of his truck.

Then, he said, “Are you sure you don’t have a crush on me anymore? Because if you do, I think I’d love to go out with you.”

I smiled, flattered at his proposal, but shook my head. “Yup, I’m sure I don’t have a crush on you anymore.”

“I’m too late, huh?” he said half jokingly. “Well, if ever you and Joseph don’t work out, maybe you can give me a call.”

I said nothing, simply watching him as he got into his truck and drove away. In the past, I would have been thrilled by such an offer, thrilled enough to jump up and down or dance around in my room just by knowing he was interested in me.

Right now, though I was in love with Joseph and so Vincent’s words meant nothing. Sure, Vincent was kind and sweet in his own way, but he was not Joseph, the man I chose to fall in love with in spite of his condition.

Not that I had much of a choice.

I looked up at the starry skies and the moon that was slowly being shrouded by a patch of thick clouds, suddenly wondering what Joseph was doing at the moment. Was he already asleep? Or was he awake, thinking of me, too?

I suddenly had a vision of the two of us lying on the grass side by side, holding hands and looking up at the stars together, and I smiled.

We still had many wonderful memories to make and I couldn’t wait for him to come home so that we could really start.

Joseph came back a week later.