A Memory Unchained (2 page)
flood her mind. She felt emptiness, loneliness. She missed having him to depend on. Tears streamed down her cheeks
as she sank into her thoughts even more.
She remembered the feel of his warm body close to
hers. She loved the salty taste on his lips and shoulders.
She felt a knot in her stomach. She hadn’t let her thoughts 14 __________________Gloria Graham
go back in a long time. Now she quickly wiped away the
tears and realized again how much she missed his warm,
loving understanding.
She began working with her notebook, shuffling all
the papers she had to go over but it seemed to be for no
purpose. “Will this terrible feeling ever go away?” She remembered the bible verse Pastor Smith had given her to
hang onto, Proverbs 5:3, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your
ways acknowledge Him and He will make your pathway
straight.” She sighed, feeling much better. “I have almost worn that verse out. I wonder if God ever gets tired of my repetition?” She knew the answer to that before she said
it. He doesn’t.
“Where did that itinerary go anyway?” she muttered to
herself trying to get her mind off her memories.
She began to read:
Monday: 9:00 AM – Rex Dupar’s office.
2:00 PM – Lunch at Care Deux-Magets – Left Bank.
“Hum,” she whispered, “Rex Dupar, the most eligible
bachelor and most sought after designer in all of Paris and I get to have lunch with him.” Pamela’s pulse raced with
excitement. “He has to be very tall, thin and just a touch of gray hair around his temples.” At least that was the picture she had of him in her mind.
As she shuffled her papers, an envelope caught her eye.
“Another good-luck message from Jill?” she wondered as
she ripped it open. If she hadn’t been in such a hurry she might have realized from the return address that the envelope was from Jeff Desmond!
She began to read: “Good Luck! I’ll be waiting for you.
A Memory Unchained___________ 15
Sorry about everything. Lets start over. I love you, signed Jeff.”
Pamela paused. She read the message over and over.
Then she accidentally repeated the message out loud. She
shook her head in disbelief.
“Start Over? Not a chance! Who does he think he is
anyway?”
Pamela was embarrassed when she noticed everyone
turning around to see what the commotion was all about.
Her face flushed. She glanced at the little old lady and was glad she had fallen asleep. She quickly pulled the magazine over her face and scrunched lower in the seat, hoping no
one would notice her.
“He is so full of himself it’s down right disgusting!” she mumbled quietly to herself. “Count to ten, count to ten,”
she reminded herself. “Why am I always counting to ten
when it comes to Jeff?” she sighed again, pretending to
read the magazine.
It wasn’t long before her thoughts drifted back to their
first kiss. Her hands began to perspire as she remembered how powerful, yet sweet and loving that kiss was. Jeff
was about the biggest catch of the season. He had looks,
money, and was single. Every woman had her eye on the
single heartthrob of the year! The gossip columnists had
a field day with him.
Pamela closed her eyes and reminded herself that was
not what she was looking for. She wanted more, a deep,
caring relationship built on faith and trust, a relationship like she had with her late husband. “I don’t think that
would ever be possible with this ‘man of the world’,” she sighed.
16 __________________Gloria Graham
She tried to push the thought of Jeff Desmond out of
her mind. “It’s over, finished!” she whispered. The hand-
some department store manager was a closed subject.
Pamela began tearing the note in tiny shreds. By this
time the little French lady moved her wrinkled hand across the seat and patted her hand. “It will be alright,” she smiled.
Pamela realized she had probably heard the sighs and the
paper tearing but really needed someone to give her a little comfort at that moment.
Pamela reached across the arm of the seat and gave the
old woman a kiss on the cheek. The thought crossed her
mind, “A kiss is the same in any language!”
The “Fasten Your Seatbelt” sign came on. People began
buckling their belts as the steward announced, “We will be arriving in Paris in a few minutes.” Pamela glanced out the window to see the land appear below. Her heart began to
flutter as she anticipated what would be happening next.
She watched as the bags began to circle the ramp. It
was a good feeling to see her bags come around. “One,
two, three,” she counted. They were all there! “Yes,” she smiled.
As she looked around, nothing looked familiar. The
signs, all in French, made her realize more than ever that she was the foreigner in this country. She opened her book to try and translate! This was not a simple task. It seemed to take hours to find out how to say, “where is the…”
Just as she began to feel very frustrated, a very French
voice startled her. “Ms. Thornton?” he asked.
“Yes.” She whirled around to see a very tall, handsome
Frenchman stood smiling at her.
“Oh,” she said, sounding a bit like a schoolgirl lost on
A Memory Unchained___________ 17
her first day at high school. “Did Mr. Dupar send you?”
“Oui,” he answered. His French accent was very evi-
dent. She knew that it meant, “Yes.”
“Thank heavens! I was beginning to feel very lost! I
really didn’t know what to do next!” She smiled and he
smiled back. She was sure he didn’t understand one word
she said!
She pointed to the beautiful aqua bags that were on
the ground beside her. “These are mine.”
“This way mademoiselle,” he said as he led the way
through the crowded lobby to the exit doors. A maroon
limousine pulled alongside the entrance. The chauffeur
jumped out quickly and opened the door for her. He
turned to look at the handsome Frenchman, “Your car
Mr. Dupar,” he said. Bowing a bit.
Pamela looked shocked! “Dupar?” she quizzed.
“Rex Dupar, at your service Chéri.” He bowed slightly
too and laughed.
“I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.” Her face
turned a bright pink which made her blue eyes sparkle
even brighter.
“How wonderful, a woman who can still blush!” he
smiled.
“I feel so foolish, I never expected a busy man like you
to meet me,” she had a perplexed look on her face. Pamela had wanted his first impression of her to be one of elegance and refinement. She knew she had just blown that away.
“Please, do not be embarrassed, it is I who should apolo-
gize. It was a little joke, but perhaps not a very good one?”
He raised his eyebrows a bit waiting for a response.
“It’s really okay, it was really a good joke on me.” She
18 __________________Gloria Graham
smiled.
“Mon Ami, you are so very kind. Do forgive my little
joke and let me repay it. If you will allow me, tomorrow
I shall show you my Paris!” He bowed again.
“That would be wonderful, I can’t wait.” Her excite-
ment was evident in her voice.
“You have not seen Paris until you see it with a French
man!” he laughed.
Pamela didn’t feel like going to bed, even though the
clock on the wall said it was time. She glanced at her watch and was reminded of the time difference. “Jet lag, that’s what I have, jet lag.” She smiled as she began changing the time on her watch. She was completely mixed up and the
excitement she felt finally got the best of her. She whirled around in a circle repeating over and over, “Can this really be happening to me? Paris?” When she finally settled back to the job of unpacking, she thoughtfully thanked
God for making all of this possible. “God is so good,” she whispered and then followed it with the saying she had
grown up with in church, “all of the time.”
Pamela had just finished hanging the last of her clothes
in the closet when there was a knock at the door.
Puzzled, she opened the door. A short, pale-faced man
stood holding a huge bouquet of yellow roses.
“Oh, for me?” She said in surprise.
“Oui Mademoiselle.” He handed the bouquet to Pa-
mela waiting for her response.
“Oh yes, the tip,” she sputtered as she tried to find
her purse in the mess she had still laying on the bed. She opened her purse and grabbed a handful of coins. She had
no idea how much each coin represented. The deliveryman
A Memory Unchained___________ 19
smiled and acted very grateful. As Pamela closed the door she wondered how much she had given him. “I must learn
this money,” she muttered. Pamela smelled the roses and
pulled the card from the holder.
The enclosure read:
MISS YOU ALREADY!
I WAS FOOLISH.
FORGIVE ME FOR BACK BAY.
ALWAYS, JEFF
“I can’t believe him. He knows how I feel about Back
Bay Harbor.” Her jaw flexed as she read the note over and over. She couldn’t imagine how he could stoop so low,
to refer to her hideaway overlooking Back Bay Harbor,
Maine. Jeff was bringing out feelings of anger, rejection, and disappointment. She had just gotten over all of that
but at that moment they came flooding back!
Jeff had shaken her, unsettled her emotions. Emotions
that she thought she would never have again. “How can I
ever be free to love again?” She sobbed as thoughts of Jeff came flooding back in front of her eyes. She remembered
how Jeff held her close in his arms so firm and loving. She remembered the touch of his lips on hers and the warm
glow she felt.
Pamela regained her composure and muttered to her-
self. “Never again! He’s no good for me, I know it!” she
began a conversation with herself. “How could I have
been so taken in? Didn’t Tom’s memory deserve better?”
Pamela felt pangs of guilt sweep over her. She tossed the card into the wastebasket but couldn’t bring herself to
discard the roses. Pamela softly touched one of the petals as she thought about Jeff Desmond, a man she needed to
20 __________________Gloria Graham
forget! She quietly prayed, “Help me God, I’m so weak
and he is so handsome!”
The next morning bright and early Rex was at the
door. Paris was everything she had dreamed of and with
Rex as her guide it was especially wonderful. She had a
hard time taking in all the sights as Rex pointed out the different sights. She loved the tree lined streets and all the artists painting along the banks of the Seine. She had seen movies of these places all her life but to be there in person was special.
“Over there,” he pointed to the Eiffel Tower jetting up
into the sky. “Would you like to go up inside?” he asked.
Pamela hesitated, “Well if it’s all the same to you I would rather not. I am not too good with heights and I am still trying to get my feet on the ground from that long flight,”
she smiled.
“I understand completely,” he smiled back. Rex mo-
tioned for his chauffer to stop the car so they could get out.
“Let’s walk a while, you can do some window shop-
ping!” Rex knew what every woman wanted, Shopping!
Pamela was in 7th heaven. They walked down the tree-
lined street to the end, not missing a store. She had piled presents up on Rex’s arms so high he couldn’t hold one
more. They began to laugh as he bent down to retrieve
one of the gifts off the top of the pile.
“I think I’d better quit,” she laughed. “I don’t think
there is an empty spot in your car!”
Rex motioned for his limousine to pick them up. The
chauffeur had been driving slowly following them as they
walked. “One more thing you must do Chéri, toss a coin
A Memory Unchained___________ 21
into the river,” he handed her a coin. “We shall drive to a spot you can do that!” he said, giving the driver instructions.
“I guess you want me to make a wish, right?” She held
the coin tightly in her hand thinking of what she should
wish.
“One thing for sure, Chéri, once you do that the mag-
netic love of Paris will bring you back again!” Rex sounded very sure of that fact.
“It’s all so wonderful, like I am having a beautiful
dream. I don’t want to wake up!” She sighed.
“We have seen so much today, I can hardly keep it all
straight!” She smiled.
“I am afraid I have tired you,” he said as he took off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders. “You are having a chill. It gets very cold as the sun begins to set.”
Pamela couldn’t help remember her daughter’s words,
“Maybe you will meet a handsome Frenchman!” A tiny
smile crossed her lips.
“You are thinking something funny?” he asked.
“Well,” she stammered, wondering if she should really
be telling him how she felt.
“You sound a bit uppity,” she paused watching for
some kind of expression on Rex’s face. “You know, stuck
on yourself.” Rex looked puzzled.
“Oh, as you American’s say, a Jerk!” he smiled.
“Well, yes, I guess that’s what I was trying to say,” she gulped.
Rex broke out in a loud uncontrolled laughter. Pamela
stared at him waiting for his next remark.
“Perhaps, a few years ago, Chéri, Oui, - but not any-
22 __________________Gloria Graham
more. My success has been sweet and rewarding but also
