A Mother's Wish (19 page)

“Yuck!” Jeff wrinkled his nose. “You really know how to ruin a guy’s appetite.” With that he turned to march down the stairs, taking his potato chips with him.

Robin stood at the top of the staircase. “Cole will be here any minute, so you can go over to Kelly’s now,” she called down.

“Okay. I put my plate in the dishwasher. Is there anything you want me to tell Kelly’s mom?”

“Just that I won’t be too late.”

“You’re sure I can’t come with you?” Jeff tried one more time.

Robin didn’t give him an answer, knowing he didn’t really expect one. After a moment, Jeff grumbled, more for show than anything, then went out the front door to their neighbor’s.

Robin returned to the bathroom and smiled into the mirror, picturing Jeff several years into the future and seeing Lenny’s handsome face smiling back at her. She
was warmed by the image, certain that her son would grow into as fine a young man as his father had been.

“You don’t mind that I’m wearing the pearls for Cole, do you?” she asked her dead husband, although she knew he wouldn’t have objected. She ran the tips of her fingers over the earrings, feeling reassured.

The doorbell chimed just as Robin was dabbing perfume on her wrists. She drew in a calming breath, glanced quickly at her reflection one last time, then walked down the stairs to answer the door.

Cole was dressed in a black pin-striped suit and looked so handsome that her breath caught. He smiled as she let him in, but for the life of her she couldn’t think of a thing to say.

His eyes held hers as he reached for her hands. Slowly he lowered his gaze, taking in the way she’d styled her hair, the pearl necklace and the outfit she’d chosen with such care.

“You are so beautiful,” he said.

“I was just thinking the same about you,” she confessed.

His mouth tilted in a grin. “If I kiss you, will it ruin your lipstick?”

“Probably.”

“I’m going to kiss you, anyway,” he said in a husky murmur. Tenderly he fit his mouth to hers, slipping his fingers through her hair. The kiss was gentle and thorough
and slow. A single kiss, and she was like clay ready to be molded. The realization struck her hard—when Cole touched her, Robin felt alive all the way to the soles of her feet.
Alive.
Healthy. A red-blooded woman. He released her, and she was shocked to find she was trembling. From the inside out.

“I’ve mussed your hair,” he apologized. His hands slid under the soft cloud of hair to her nape.

“And you’ve got lipstick on your mouth,” she said with a quaver, reaching up to wipe it away. “There. It’ll only take me a moment to fix my hair,” she said, picking up her purse and moving to the hallway mirror.

He stood behind her, hands on her shoulders as she brushed her hair, then carefully tucked the loose curls back into place with the tortoiseshell combs.

“Are you ready?” he asked when she’d finished.

Robin nodded, unable to speak.

Cole led her outside to his car and held the passenger door. He dropped a quick kiss on her unsuspecting lips, then hurried around the car, his movements lighthearted, and got into the driver’s seat.

“You didn’t tell me where we’re having dinner.”

“I told Heather Lawrence in case she needs to get hold of you, but otherwise it’s a surprise.”

Robin wasn’t sure what to think. A number of San Francisco’s restaurants were internationally famous, but her knowledge of fancy dining places was limited. She
assumed this one was somewhere in the heart of the city, until he exited from the freeway heading south along Highway 101 toward the ocean.

“Cole?” she asked hesitantly.

“Don’t worry,” he said, casting her a swift glance that didn’t conceal the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “I promise you dinner will be worth the drive.”

The restaurant sat high on a cliff, with a stunning view of the surf battering the jagged rocks below.

Cole parked the Porsche, then came around to help her out, taking the opportunity to steal another kiss. It was with obvious reluctance that he let her go. His arm around her waist, he directed her toward the doors leading into the elegant restaurant. The maître d’ escorted them to a table that overlooked the water and with a flourish presented them with elaborate menus.

Robin scanned the entrées, impressed with the interesting variations on basic themes. She was less impressed with the prices—a single dinner cost as much as an entire week’s worth of lunches. For her
and
Jeff.

“When you said fancy you weren’t joking, were you?” she whispered, biting her lip.

Cole lowered his menu and sent her a vibrant smile. “Tonight is special,” he said simply.

“You’re telling me. If I wasn’t having dinner with you, I’d probably have eaten a toasted cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup with Jeff.”

Their waiter appeared and they ordered wine—a bottle of sauvignon blanc. Then they each chose the restaurant’s specialty—a scallop and shrimp sauté—which proved as succulent and spicy as the menu had promised.

They talked through dinner and afterward, over steaming cups of Irish coffee. It astonished Robin that they had so much to say to each other, although they hadn’t touched on the issue closest to her heart. But she hesitated to broach the subject of Cole’s relationship with Jeff. She didn’t want to risk the delightful camaraderie they were sharing tonight. Their conversation could have gone on for hours and in fact did. They talked about books they’d read, recent movies they’d seen, music they liked. It came as a pleasant surprise to discover that their tastes were similar.

All evening they laughed, they argued, they talked, as if they’d been friends most of their lives. Cole grinned so often, it was hard for Robin to remember that at one time she’d actually wondered if the man ever smiled.

Robin told Cole about her job and how much she enjoyed accounting. She voiced her fears about not being the kind of mother she wanted to be for Jeff. “There are so many things I want to share with him that I don’t have time for. There just aren’t enough hours in a day.”

Cole talked about his career goals and his dreams. He spoke of the forty acres willed to him by his grandfather
and how he’d once hoped to close himself off from the world by moving there.

“But you aren’t going to now?” Robin asked.

“No. I no longer have any reason to hide. The house is nearly finished and I may still move there, but I’ll maintain my work schedule.” He stared down into his coffee. “I was approached last week about running for the state senate.”

Robin’s heart swelled with pride. “Are you going to do it?”

“No. I’m not the right man for politics. I’ll support someone else, but a political career doesn’t interest me. It never has, although I’ll admit I’m flattered.”

A band started playing then, and several couples took to the dance floor.

“Shall we?” Cole asked, nodding in that direction.

“Oh, Cole, I don’t know. The last time I danced was at my cousin’s wedding ten years ago. I’m afraid I’ll step all over your feet.”

“I’m game if you are.”

She was reluctant but agreed to try. They stood, and she moved naturally into his embrace, as if they’d been partners for years. Robin’s eyes slowly closed when Cole folded her in his arms, and in that moment she experienced a surge of joy that startled her with its intensity.

The dance ended, but they didn’t leave the floor.

“Have I told you how lovely you are?” Cole asked, his mouth close to her ear.

Grinning, Robin nodded. “Twice. Once when you picked me up at the house and once during the meal. I know you’re exaggerating, but …” She shrugged, then added, “When I’m with you, I feel beautiful.”

“I don’t think a woman’s ever paid me a higher compliment.”

She raised her eyes and was shocked by the powerful emotions in his.

“Do you mind if we leave now?” he asked suddenly.

“No, of course not, if that’s what you want.”

He frowned. “If it was up to me I’d spend the rest of the night here with you in my arms, but I have this sudden need to kiss you, and if I do it here and do it properly we’re going to attract a lot of attention.”

Cole quickly paid the bill and he hurried Robin to the car. The minute they were settled inside, he reached for her. He did as he’d promised, kissing her until she was breathless. Her arms clung to him as his mouth sought hers once more.

“At least I’m not making you cry this time,” he said softly.

“That still embarrasses me,” she told him. “It’s never happened before. I still don’t understand it. I don’t know if I ever will.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”

“Please do.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It touched me in a way I can’t explain. It helped me realize I was going to love you. After Jennifer and Bobby, I doubted there was any love left in me. You taught me otherwise. Jeff taught me otherwise. My heart is full and has been almost from the time we met.” He took her hand and pressed her palm to his heart. “Do you feel it?”

Robin nodded. “It’s beating so hard,” she whispered.

“That’s because I’m nervous.”

“Nervous? About what?”

Cole slid a hand into his pocket and brought out a small black velvet box.

Robin’s heart started to pound in double time. “Cole?” she said anxiously, not sure what she should think or how she should act.

“I love you, Robin.” His voice was hoarse. “I knew it the moment I heard your voice when I called from Seattle. And every moment since has convinced me how right this is.” He opened the box and revealed the largest diamond Robin had ever seen. Slowly he raised his eyes to hers. “I’m asking you to be my wife.”

“Y
ou mean this whole evening … you arranged this whole evening because you intended to ask me to marry you?” Robin asked, pressing the tips of her fingers to her trembling lips. Despite her fears a gentle gladness suffused her heart.

“Surely it isn’t that much of a surprise?” he said. “I’ve never made an effort to hide how I feel about you or how much I enjoy Jeff.”

Contrary to what Cole might think, his proposal
did
come as a surprise. “I … I don’t know what to say.”

“A simple yes would suit me,” Cole urged warmly.

“But … Oh, Cole, it would be so easy to marry you, so easy to join my life and Jeff’s to yours and never look back. But I don’t know if it would be right for us or for
you. There’s so much to consider, so many factors to weigh, in a decision this important. I’d like nothing better than to just say yes, but I can’t.”

“Are you asking for time?” Cole’s eyes seemed to penetrate hers, even in the dark.

“Please.” For now, that seemed the simplest thing to say, although her hesitation was based on something much deeper. Cole had rediscovered a peace within himself since meeting her and Jeff; he’d told her so that very afternoon. She was tempted to say yes, to turn away from her doubts and agree to marry him. Cole had been so good for Jeff, so wonderful to her.

“I hate to disappoint you,” she murmured sadly.

“I know exactly what you’re thinking, exactly how you’re feeling.”

“You do?” Somehow she doubted it. But knowing she couldn’t delay it any longer, she jumped in with both feet. “I was … just thinking about what you told me this afternoon. How you’d recently dealt with the loss of Jennifer and Bobby. While you were talking, I couldn’t help feeling your exhilaration. You’ve obviously found a newborn sense of freedom. I think the question you need to ask yourself is if this rebirth you’ve experienced is what prompted the idea of marrying again.”

“No,” he said flatly. “Falling in love with you did.”

“Oh, Cole,” she whispered. “It must seem like fate to
have Jeff and me move in next door, and it gets more complicated with Jeff being the same age as Bobby ….”

“Maybe it does all appear too convenient, but if I was just looking for a woman and a child, then Heather Lawrence would’ve filled the bill. It’s you I fell in love with.”

“But how can you be so sure?” she countered quickly. “We barely know each other.”

Cole smiled at her doubts. “The first time we kissed was enough to convince me I was going to love you. It was the Friday night after I returned from Seattle, remember?”

Robin nodded, wincing a little.

“I was so stunned by the effect that kiss had on me, I avoided you for an entire week afterward. If you want the truth, I was terrified. You’ll have to remember, up until that time I was convinced I was incapable of ever falling in love again. One kiss, and I felt jolted to the core. You hit me hard, Robin, and I needed time to step back and analyze what was happening. That’s the reason I don’t have any qualms about giving you however long you need to sort out what you’re feeling. I want you to be very sure.”

Robin released a pent-up sigh. Cole folded her in his arms and his chin brushed against her hair while his hands roved in wide circles across her back. The action was soothing and gentle. She was beginning to feel more confident in his love, but she had to be careful. She
wanted
him to love her, because she was so much in love with him.

Cole tucked a finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. As their eyes met, he slanted his mouth over hers in a wildly possessive kiss, a kiss filled with undisguised need.

When he broke away, Robin was trembling. She buried her face in his neck and drew several deep breaths.

“If you’re going to take some time to think about things,” Cole whispered against her hair, “then I wanted to give you something else to think about.”

“Have you had a chance to check those figures on—” Angela began, then stopped abruptly, waving her hand in front of Robin’s face.

“A chance to check what figures?” Robin asked, making a determined effort to focus. She knew she’d been acting like a sleepwalker most of the morning, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Cole’s proposal.

“What’s with you today?” Angela demanded. “Every time I look over here, I find you staring into space with this perplexed expression on your face.”

“I was … just thinking,” Robin muttered.

“About what?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, girl, you know better than that. You can’t fool me.” Angela leaned against the edge of Robin’s
desk and crossed her arms, taking her usual aggressive stance. “I’ve known you far too long. From everything you
haven’t
said, I’d guess your handsome neighbor’s involved. What’s he done now?”

“Cole? What makes you ask anything so ridiculous?”

Angela frowned, shaking her head. Then she stretched out her hands and made a come-hither motion. “Tell Mama everything,” she intoned. “You might as well get it over with and tell me now, because you know that sooner or later I’m going to drag it out of you. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t extract your deepest darkest secrets?”

“He took me to dinner,” Robin admitted, knowing that Angela was right. Sooner or later, she’d wheedle it out of her.

“Where’d he take you?”

She shrugged, wanting to keep that to herself. “It was outside the city.”

“
Where
outside the city?” Angela pressed.

“Heavens, I don’t know. Somewhere along the coast on Highway 101.”

Angela uncrossed her arms and started pacing. “It wasn’t the Cliffhouse, was it?”

“I … I think it might have been,” Robin murmured, concentrating on the task in front of her. The one she should’ve finished hours earlier. The one she couldn’t seem to focus on, even now.

“Aha!” Angela cried, pointing her index finger at the ceiling, like a detective in a comic spoof.

“What?” Robin cried.

“If Cole took you to the Cliffhouse, he did it for a reason.”

“Of course he did. The food was fabulous. By the way, you were right about Frank, he’s exceptionally nice,” Robin said in an effort to interrupt her friend’s line of thought.

“You already told me what you think of Frank, remember?” Angela said. “Cole took you to dinner at the Cliffhouse,” she repeated slowly, as though reviewing a vital clue in a murder mystery.

“To be honest, I think his choice of restaurant had something to do with Frank,” Robin inserted, tossing her sleuth friend a red herring.

“So Cole was jealous?”

“Not exactly,” Robin said, leaning back in her chair. “Well, maybe a little,” she amended, knowing Angela would never believe her if she denied it completely. “I mean, Cole did invite me to dinner as soon as he learned I was dining with Frank, so I guess you could say he was a
little
jealous. But not much. Cole’s not the jealous type—he told me that himself.”

“I see.” Angela was frowning as she walked back to her desk. Her look remained thoughtful for the rest of the morning, although she didn’t question Robin again. But
when they left for lunch, she showed a renewed interest in the subject of Cole.

“How’s Jeff?” she began as they stood in line in the employees cafeteria.

“Fine,” Robin said as she reached for a plastic tray.

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What more do you want to know?”

“I ask about Jeff once a week or so, then sit back and listen for the next fifteen minutes while you tell me about the latest craziness,” Angela said heatedly. “It never fails. You’ve told me about him running away with a frying pan and an atlas. You’ve bragged about what a fabulous pitcher he’s turning out to be, and you’ve given me a multitude of details about every game he’s played. After you tell me all about his athletic ability, you generally mention how good he is with animals and all the tricks he’s taught Blackie in the past week.”

Robin tried to respond but Angela ignored her and kept talking. “Today I innocently ask how Jeff is, and what do I get?
Fine
. All right, Robin, tell me what happened with Cole Camden before I go crazy trying to figure it out.”

“It’s something I need to figure out myself,” Robin said. She paused to study the salads before selecting a mound of cottage cheese and setting it on her tray.

“What are you doing now?” Angela cried, throwing her arms in the air. “You hate cottage cheese. You never eat it unless you’re upset and looking for ways to punish
yourself.” She took the small bowl from Robin’s tray and replaced it with a fresh fruit salad, shaking her head the entire time.

The problem with Angela was that she knew Robin all too well.

They progressed a little farther down the line. Robin stood in front of the entrées, but before she chose one, she glanced at her friend. “You want to pick one of these for me, too?” she asked dryly.

“Yes, I do, before you end up requesting liver and onions.”

Angela picked the lasagne, thick with melted cheese and spicy tomato sauce. “If you’re looking for ways to punish yourself, girl, there are tastier methods.”

Despite her thoughtful mood, Robin smiled.

Once they’d paid for their lunches, Angela led her to a window table that offered a certain amount of privacy. Robin busied herself arranging her dishes and set the tray aside.

Angela sat directly across from her, elbows braced on either side of her lunch. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else you’d care to tell me?”

“About what?”

“About you and Cole, of course. I can’t remember the last time I saw you like this. It’s as if … as if you’re trapped in some kind of maze and can’t find your way out.”

The description was so apt that Robin felt a tingling
sensation along her spine. She did feel hopelessly lost. Her mind was cluttered, her emotions confused. She had one foot in the present, one in the past, and didn’t know which way to turn.

“I talked to Frank on Sunday afternoon,” Angela continued, dipping her fork into a crisp green salad. “He said he enjoyed the evening you spent with him, but doubted you’d be seeing each other again because it’s obvious to him that you’re in love with Cole Camden. In fact, Frank said you talked about little else the entire evening.”

“He said all that?”

Angela nodded. “He’s right, isn’t he? You are in love with Cole, aren’t you?”

“I … I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Angela persisted. “It’s written all over you. You’ve got that glazed look and you walk around in a trance, practically bumping into walls.”

“You make it sound like I need an ambulance.”

“Or a doctor,” Angela whispered, leaning across the table. “Or maybe a lawyer … That’s it!” she said loudly enough to attract the attention of several people at nearby tables. “Cole took you to bed, and now you’re so confused you don’t know what to do. I told you I’d stumble on the answer sooner or later.” Her eyes flashed triumphantly.

“That’s not it,” Robin declared, half rising from the table. She could feel the color crowding into her cheeks
as she glanced around the cafeteria. When she sat back down, she covered her face with both hands. “If you must know, Cole asked me to marry him.”

A moment of shocked silence followed before Angela shrieked with pure delight. “That’s fabulous! Wonderful! Good grief, what’s wrong with you? You should be in seventh heaven. It isn’t every day a handsome, wealthy, wonderful man proposes to you. I hope you leapt at the chance.” She hesitated, suddenly still. “Robin? You
did
tell him you’d marry him, didn’t you?”

Robin swallowed and shook her head. “No. I asked him for some time to think about things.”

“Think about things?” Angela squealed. “What’s there to think about? He’s rich. He’s handsome. He’s in love with you and crazy about Jeff. What more could you possibly want?”

Tears brimmed in Robin’s eyes as she looked up to meet her friend’s avid gaze. “I’m afraid he’s more in love with the idea of having a family than he is with me.”

“Is Cole coming?” Jeff asked, working the stiffness out of his baseball mitt by slamming his fist into the middle of it several times.

“I don’t know,” Robin said, glancing at their neighbor’s house as they walked to the car. “I haven’t talked to him in the last few days.”

“You’re not mad at him, are you?”

“Of course not,” Robin said, sliding into the driver’s seat of her compact. “We’ve both been busy.”

Jeff fingered the bill of his baseball cap, then set the cap on his head. “I saw him yesterday and told him about the game, and he said he might come. I hope he does.”

Secretly Robin hoped Cole would be there, too. Over the past five days, she’d missed talking to him. She hadn’t come to any decision, but he hadn’t pressed her to make one, willing to offer her all the time she needed. Robin hadn’t realized how accustomed she’d grown to his presence. How much she needed to see him and talk to him. Exchange smiles and glances. Touch him …

When she was married to Lenny, they were two people very much in love, two people who’d linked their lives to form one whole. But Lenny had been taken from her, and for a long time afterward Robin had felt only half alive.

All week she’d swayed back and forth over Cole’s proposal, wondering if she should ignore her doubts. Wondering if she
could
ignore them. Sleepless nights hadn’t yielded the answer. Neither had long solitary walks in Balboa Park while Jeff practiced with his baseball team.

“Cole said—” Jeff started to say, then stopped abruptly as his hands flew to his head. A panicky look broke out on his face and he stared at Robin.

“What’s wrong? Did you forget something?”

“My lucky hat!” Jeff cried. “It’s on my dresser. We have to go back.”

“For a baseball cap?” Robin didn’t disguise how silly she considered that idea. “You’re wearing a baseball cap. What’s wrong with that one?”

“It won’t work. You have to understand, Mom, it’s my
lucky
hat. I’ve been wearing it ever since we played our first game. I had that very same hat on when I hit my first two home runs. I can’t play without it,” he explained frantically. “We have to go back. Hurry, or we’ll be late for the game. Turn here,” he insisted, pointing at the closest intersection.