A Passion Most Pure (47 page)

Her brow wrinkled. She cocked her head and scrutinized him out of the corner of her eye. "If I did, would I have a chance with you?"

He laughed and shook his head. "We're not talking about me, Charity, we're talking about you. You just need to shape up. And get a little older."

He could see a smile forming on her lips. "I can do that," she whispered. She opened the door and slid out. After shutting the door behind her, she leaned in the window and grinned. "Once I go through that door, it's all over, you know. Sure you don't want to reconsider?"

He cleared his throat to keep from smiling. "Go to bed, little girl, and ask God to help you. I'll be watching."

"I'm counting on it," she said. Flouncing her hair over her shoulder, she disappeared into the house before he could even get out of gear.

Marcy caught herself humming, an unusual thing in itself these days. She seemed to have lost so much of her sparkle over the last year, but lately she had managed to rebound on Saturdays. Whether it was the fact she enjoyed knowing the children could sleep in and awaken to the hot breakfast she prepared, or whether it was the feeling that the war was coming to an end, she wasn't quite sure. But the lift was in her step, nonetheless, and when Saturdays rolled around, she was always grateful for the reprieve.

The end was near, she was certain. The newspapers tiptoed around it, and her neighbors spoke of it in hushed tones, almost afraid to speak too loud lest it not be true. But it was coming. She could feel it in her bones. Change-as sure as the autumn breeze silently whirling into a cool bluster-and Marcy couldn't wait. She was tired of the loneliness and the worry. She was tired of missing Patrick and Sean and Collin. And she was especially tired of her family scattered.

She glanced up at the clock as she kneaded the dough that would soon become popovers for her children's breakfast, and then pushed aside a strand of hair with her arm. Almost nine o'clock! She could hear footsteps above and knew Katie had wakened, no doubt refusing to let her grandmother sleep one moment longer. Marcy thought of how difficult it would be for her mother and Mima when she and her family left, as they all knew they would. They had shared laughter and love, tears and heartbreak for a year now, and Marcy worried how her family's departure might affect them.

The kitchen door flew open, and Katie came bounding in, blond hair streaming behind. She ran to clutch at Marcy's legs, nearly knocking her over. Steven was hot on her heels, a scowl on his face as he screeched to a stop in front of his mother. Marcy stared, her eyebrow arched in question. "Good morning," she said with a wry smile. "I think."

Steven apparently wasn't in agreement as he stood, arms crossed and a sour look on his face. "Mother, she's been at it again."

"What is it this time, Steven?" Marcy asked patiently, prying Katie from her legs.

"Five of my best marbles, including my aggie."

Marcy bent down to look into Katie's eyes, which were focused on the floor. "Katie, please tell me you didn't take Steven's marbles again! Katie?"

Katie peered up at Marcy. A pixie grin curled on her lips. "Okay, I didn't take 'em."

"She did, Mother, I found them in her dishes-in a bowl of milk! "

"Katie Rose!"

"My bear needs to eat, doesn't he? He needed cereal," she said, pouting.

"Young lady, first you lie and tell me you didn't take them-"

"You told me to, Mama! You said, 'Katie, please tell me you didn't take Steven's marbles.' So I did!"

Marcy groaned and picked Katie up in her arms. "A perfectly good Saturday morning, and you have to ruin it," she muttered, lugging Katie to the door.

"No, Mama, please, no ..." Katie cried, cutting loose with a piercing scream.

Marcy attempted a smile at Steven. "Well, now, that should see to it that everyone's up for breakfast. Steven, bring the marbles to me, and I'll wash them for you, all right? Rest assured, Katie will be punished."

There were so many reasons she missed Patrick, she thought as she carried Katie kicking and screaming up the stairs, not the least of which was the deplorable chore of discipline. Katie had always been what Patrick lovingly referred to as a "handful." But the year of his absence had only made it worse, despite Marcy's best efforts at exercising control over their seven-year-old, strong-willed child. No, as far as Marcy was concerned-and Katie, apparently-Patrick could not return soon enough.

Katie was banished to her room for breakfast. The breakfast table would be a little less exciting today, but certainly more peaceful. Not necessarily a bad thing, Marcy decided. She made her rounds to waken the rest of the family, who, despite Katie's best efforts, were still sound asleep.

The doorbell rang as Marcy descended the steps, and she stopped midway. Perhaps it was Patricia looking for Elizabeth, she thought, making her way to the door. She pulled it open and was met by two soldiers who stood stone-faced, hats in hand. Marcy blinked, her hand paralyzed on the doorknob.

"Mrs. Patrick O'Connor?"

Marcy's gaze shifted to the soldier who had spoken, and she nodded slowly.

"May we come in, ma'am?" he asked.

She nodded again, never budging from the door. The soldiers glanced briefly at each other before the spokesman repeated the request.

"Ma'am, may we come inside, please?" he asked again, his voice gentle.

Marcy's hand clutched to her throat as fear fisted in her chest. "No!" she screamed. "What do you want?"

Her cry brought Charity to the landing. "Mother, what is it?" She sped down the steps, tying her robe tightly about her. She grabbed her mother's arm, but Marcy shook it off, glaring at the men.

"What do you want?" she said again.

The spokesman turned to Charity with a pleading look. "Miss, we have news of her husband. May we come in, please?"

"Of course," Charity said, her voice trembling as she pried Marcy's fingers from the door. Charity looped her arm around her mother's waist and led her to the parlor as if she were a child. The men followed silently while Bridget and the children huddled on the steps.

Charity looked up at Bridget. "Grandmother, these gentlemen have news about Father," she said calmly, and they exchanged a look of dread. "Can you take everyone into the kitchen and give them breakfast, please?" She spoke with an air of authority, and Bridget nodded, ushering Beth and Steven into the kitchen.

Marcy lowered to the couch, her eyes glazed as she stared at the floor. Charity took a seat beside her and clutched her arm around her mother's waist.

The soldier wasted no time. "Mrs. O'Connor, I regret to inform you that your husband, Private Patrick O'Connor of the 30th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Division, was killed in the line of duty-"

"Noooooooo!" The sound that issued from her lips was bloodcurdling as Marcy lunged at the soldier, her fists striking him in the chest before his arms immobilized her.

Charity reached for her mother, her eyes brimming with tears. "Mother, please ..."

"He's lying ... it's not true!" Marcy shrieked. "Patrick wouldn't leave me ... and God wouldn't do that!" Her body writhed in pain as she sank to the floor.

The soldier's face was etched in stone as he reached to pick her up. Silently, he placed her on the couch, and the two women collapsed in each other's arms. Sobs wracked their bodies.

The soldier knelt by the sofa, his voice filled with compassion. "Ma'am," he began again, "your husband died saving another soldier. He was a hero, ma'am."

Marcy gripped the sofa, her small frame convulsing.

Charity lifted her chin and blinked back the tears. "When?" she whispered.

"September 30. Your father was killed instantly by an enemy artillery shell."

"Faith's birthday," Charity whispered listlessly. "Where?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"Along the Marne River, ma'am, right outside of Paris."

Through her weeping, Marcy heard Charity choke back a sob. "Where is my father's body?" she whispered.

The soldier stood up, as if at attention.

"Ma'am, Private O'Connor was buried with military honors at the Aisen-Marne Cemetery, not far from Paris."

A violent tremor shuddered through Marcy's body. Holding onto her daughter, she attempted to rise, quivering as she stood. "Sir, we need to be alone now. . ."

The second soldier stepped forward, and for the first time, Marcy noticed the box in his hands, which he now held forward. "Ma'am, these are your husband's personal effects."

Marcy's eyes fixed on the box that was all she had left of the man she loved. Taking a step forward, she held her hands out and grasped it in her arms as a low, aching moan left her lips. The room darkened, as if the sun had suddenly left the sky on this bright, October morn, and her vision began to blur, from tears, she thought. But as the room began to spin and the blood left her brain, Marcy felt herself letting go-not the box, which she clenched tightly in her hands-but her consciousness, which demanded escape as she slowly slumped to the floor.

It was as if she were walking in a fog or a dream, so surreal were the next few moments for Charity. She saw the men to the door and returned to where her mother lay limp on the sofa. She heard Katie chattering in the kitchen, but nothing else, and realized her grandmother must have rescued her sister from her punishment. Her mother stirred, and Charity braced herself for the torment that would follow. All at once, her mother's eyes opened, and she groped at her daughter. Her sobs rose again to fill the empty parlor with the sound of her anguish.

Charity laid her head against her mother's and stroked her hair as tears streamed her own face. She didn't want to think about it now. She couldn't. Her father was dead, and she had never let him know how very much she loved him. How much she wanted to please him, to be "his girl." Charity closed her eyes, the pain in her heart choking her with grief. No, she thought to herself. Her mother needed her to be strong, not weak. She touched her mother's face. "You need to eat," she whispered, "and we need to tell the others."

Marcy nodded, and Charity braced her, and the two went arm in arm into the kitchen. Never had there been a blacker day. It passed, and then the night, but never the pain. It seemed to grow with each successive moment, and Charity felt as if they all had died. In the days that followed, when she wasn't weeping in her room, her mother would roam aimlessly through the silent house, listless as she tended duties more from habit than thought. Her grandmother did her best to uplift them all, futile as it was.

It was Charity who took on the task of notifying Sean and Faith, and of course, Collin. Her messages were brief and sparse on detail, so unusual for her, but she couldn't bring herself to say more. She grew increasingly concerned about her mother as she watched her spiral into a black hole of depression. Always an early riser, her mother now took to sleeping much later, forcing her grandmother, at times, to try and rouse her in the early afternoon so she would not be up half the night with her thoughts.

By the end of the first week following the news of Patrick's death, Charity was sick with worry. Her mother wouldn't eat and was wasting away to nothing, her face pale and her eyes lifeless. Her grandmother was distraught, as well, and both she and Charity were at a loss as to what to say or do.

As they sat in the kitchen one morning, her mother suddenly appeared at the door, dark circles under her eyes and a vacant stare that had become all too familiar. "Mother, you're up! Can I get you some coffee?" Charity asked. Marcy nodded, and Charity jumped up to pour a cup. She handed it to her.

Marcy closed her eyes and sipped it slowly. When she opened them again, the faraway look was steeled with determination. "Mother, Charity ... I know you've been worried about me, and I'm sorry. I know I haven't been myself, but then I wonder if I will ever be again." She took a deep breath and another sip of coffee. Tears welled in her eyes. "Your father ... Patrick ... was the world to me. I still can't believe he's gone." The wetness began to spill, and she quickly rubbed it away. "But he is," she breathed, "and we all must go on. I've decided to sell the house in Boston." Marcy looked at Bridget. "Mother, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay with you indefinitely, at least till my head is clearer. Then, I can find a house of my own here in Ireland."

Bridget grabbed her hand. "Marcy, stay as long as you like. I love you; you know that."

Marcy nodded. "Charity, I need you to call Mitch. Tell him I need to see him."

Charity opened her mouth, her heart fluttering in surprise. Mitch! In the agony of Patrick's death, he hadn't entered her mind, and the thought shocked her. As she thought of him now, a flood of peace rushed in. "Of course, Mother. I'll call him on Monday, unless you have his home number."

"No, Monday's fine, dear. Mitch was kind enough to offer his help after Faith left, and I never believed I would need it, but I do. I've decided to go to Boston and settle things there. I'll bring Faith home, then maybe we can get some closure, and in time, get on with our lives."

Marcy reached for Charity's hand. "Charity, when the war is over, I don't expect you to stay, you know. I'm sure Collin will want to live in Boston."