A Perfect Life: A Novel (20 page)

“Oh my God, what did we do?” Blaise whispered to him. She had been swept away by all that she felt for him, and she still couldn’t catch her breath, and she lay looking at him with infinite tenderness.

“I’m not sorry, Blaise,” he said, still gasping, his beautiful body lying next to hers, “I hope you’re not either. I wanted you so badly, and I love you so much.” It had all happened so quickly that they hadn’t used a condom, and she wasn’t on the Pill, but she knew how unlikely it was that she’d get pregnant, and he had been in a serious relationship for three years.

“I love you too,” she said, slipping her arms around his neck again and pulling him closer, so she could kiss him. The scent of their lovemaking was heavy in the air, and she closed her eyes as he held her. She felt totally safe with him.

“I know this is right, Blaise,” he said gently, “for both of us. Maybe it won’t make sense to other people, but it does to me. You’re all I want.” She prayed that what he said would prove to be true, and they would be good to each other, as good as they wanted to be now. She didn’t want to disappoint him, or have him disappoint her.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” she said softly to him, as they lay and looked at the snow falling outside. It was a magical moment Blaise knew she would never forget.

They lay there for a little while, savoring their closeness, and
then they got up, before Salima finished her lesson. They took a shower in Blaise’s bathroom, dressed, and were about to leave her bedroom, after she made the bed, and Simon laughed.

“What’s funny?” She looked at him with surprise.

“Your shirt is inside out. You’d better fix it. Salima feels those things.” They both knew they had to be careful now. They wanted to protect this from everyone for a while, until it felt solid to both of them. It was all so new, and for now only theirs.

Blaise took her shirt off and put it on the right side, while he admired her. They both felt luckier than they ever had in their lives, and for now Blaise had decided to stop worrying about the children he wanted. Or Megan. They had each other, and it felt like that was enough.

He went back to the kitchen first, and she followed him a few minutes later. He threw away the hot chocolate they hadn’t had time to drink before passion overwhelmed them, and he opened a bottle of wine. He handed her a glass as she walked in, and Blaise smiled.

“Are we celebrating?” she whispered, and he nodded with a long slow smile. They had much to celebrate. The shared life that had suddenly become theirs.

After the first time they made love, everything changed subtly. They were more intimate without meaning to be, more was unspoken. They looked at each other and knew what the other meant. They stood closer together, and kissed or touched an arm or a face or squeezed a hand whenever they could. And at night, once Blaise
knew Salima was asleep after she’d checked on her for the last time, Simon came to her room and stayed in her bed with her until she got up at four
A.M.
Then he went back to his own room after he made her coffee and let her read the newspapers. They settled into a delicious routine of making love and sleeping in each other’s arms every night. And they were careful to be discreet around Salima. They both wanted to keep this quiet for a while.

“I’m not planning to keep this a secret forever,” Blaise reassured him, “but we both need time to adjust before we get hit with everyone’s opinions, Salima’s reaction, and whatever the press decides to say once they find out. We don’t need the headache yet.” And he completely agreed. Being involved with Blaise was going to mean more attention from the world than either of them wanted to deal with. They didn’t want anything to spoil it for them. It was perfect for now.

And in spite of the deep currents of love and passion running between them, Salima suspected nothing. Once or twice when they were looking at each other and not talking, Salima asked what was happening, everything was so quiet, but she had no sense that they were involved with each other. Only his mother, with her unfailing French sixth sense, seemed to know. He had no idea how she knew, but she accused him again of an affair with Blaise, and he denied it.

“So how is your famous employer?” Isabelle Ward asked with an edge to her voice, literally the day after they had slept together for the first time.

“She’s fine,” Simon said blithely, trying not to react to her suspicious tone.

“She wants you, you know,” his mother said with an aura of doom, which annoyed him even more.

“Mother, please. She’s a busy woman, we hardly have time to talk to each other. And I’m sure she has a million men chasing her, a lot more important than I am.”

“You’re young, that’s why she wants you. She wants to have an affair with you, and then she’ll throw you away like garbage.”

“For God’s sake, will you stop? She doesn’t want me, she’s not sleeping with me, and she’s not going to throw me away.”

“Aha! You slept with her! I can hear it in your voice!” She was right, but he would have died rather than admit it to her, especially after what she’d said.

“I’m not going to discuss this with you anymore. What are you and Dad doing for Christmas?” he said, changing the subject, but he already knew. They were going to his brother’s.

“We’re going to David’s. And we have tickets to a Beethoven symphony the day after. My favorite, the ninth. You’ll be in New York?”

“Of course. I’m working. I can’t leave Salima.” Or Blaise, but he didn’t say it.

“Can’t she take care of her own child for five minutes? On Christmas Day at least. It would be nice if you could come to Boston.”

“I can’t. Salima needs monitoring all the time for her diabetes.”

“I don’t see why you have to do it.” He didn’t, Blaise checked her during the night too, but he didn’t tell his mother. “I think she’s a dangerous woman,” his mother warned him in an ominous tone. “She’ll devour you, if you let her.” She had nothing but disaster to predict for him at Blaise’s hands, and it annoyed him so much, he
got off the phone, and promised himself he wouldn’t call her again till Christmas. There was just no point. She only depressed him.

A few days later Blaise surprised him. She had been to the network Christmas party, which she never enjoyed, and had received a slew of invitations to Christmas parties she said she didn’t want to go to. She didn’t want to be on display, and she said that many people invited her for that purpose, so they could say they knew her and show her off. She only liked going to the homes and parties of close friends, of which she had few. The network party was a command performance every year. And there was no way she could have taken him.

But after dinner that night, when Salima was with Lucianna, Blaise slid an invitation across the table at him. It was red and gold on Tiffany stationery, it was heavy stock, and Simon recognized the host’s name immediately. Adam Lancaster was a very well-known writer Blaise had interviewed that year. He had written countless best-sellers and a long list of films. He was giving a Christmas party the next day at his townhouse, five blocks from Blaise.

“He just got married, and his wife is about your age. I think he’s sixty-something, but he hangs out with a lot of young people, and he knows everyone in the world. I thought it might be fun to go.” Simon nodded. He was sure it would be interesting, and he was happy for her.

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy it,” he said generously, and she smiled at him, and realized he hadn’t understood.

“Not me, us. You. I’d like to take you. Will you come?”

“As your date?” He looked stunned.

“As whatever they call it. Date. Plus one. Escort. Friend.” Eventually
boyfriend or lover, but for now just going out together seemed like a good place to start. She had never taken him anywhere socially, and she wanted to. And she wanted him to know that she didn’t intend to keep him a dark secret. If they made a go of this, they had to be able to go out together and share a social life. She had no idea how people would react or what they would think, or say about her. But she wanted to take their brand-new relationship out for a spin. She was curious to see if they would be comfortable going out into the world. Simon nodded and looked nervous, but he seemed touched that she had asked.

“Are you sure? You’re not embarrassed to be seen with me?”

“Are you crazy? You’re ten times the man that anyone there will be, except maybe our host, who is something of a genius. But you’re smarter, better looking, more exciting, and a hell of a lot nicer and more fun to be with than anyone who’ll be there.”

“Then why are we going?” he teased her.

“I want to show you off,” she said, and then reminded him not to tell Salima. Lucianna was taking her to an early concert, so she would be out. Simon was beaming when they left the room. He was very flattered that she was going out with him, and it sounded like a very intriguing group.

The following evening Blaise dressed after Salima left with Lucianna, and wore a short sexy red cocktail dress and a black coat when they left the apartment at seven. She had come home in time to dress, and Simon was wearing a dark gray suit, white shirt, and navy blue tie. He looked like a banker or a lawyer, and she knew he would fit in. She was proud to leave the building on his arm, and Tully was waiting to drive them the few blocks to the party. He
didn’t seem surprised to see Simon with her, even in his dark suit and good-looking navy blue coat. It was bitter cold and there was ice on the ground. She didn’t want to walk the five blocks in high heels and arrive with windblown hair and a red nose.

The party was already crowded when they got there, in a spectacular townhouse with a two-floor ceiling in the living room, filled with pre-Columbian and modern art. They both noticed three Picassos on the way in, and a Léger. And Simon looked perfectly at ease. She introduced him to their host’s new wife, who was a beautiful young woman, and she and Simon realized almost immediately that they had been at Harvard at the same time although she was two years younger. They didn’t know each other but had seen each other and had friends in common, and Simon had a long conversation with her, before moving on to a photographer he had always wanted to meet, while Blaise chatted with the editor of
Vogue
.

It was a lively, eclectic group, and every well-known, accomplished person in New York seemed to be there. Blaise stopped to talk to their host, and introduced him to Simon. And whenever people came by that she knew, she introduced him as “my friend, Simon Ward.” No one asked if he was her boyfriend, her best friend, her walker, her son, or her nephew, if she was sleeping with him or he was gay. They didn’t care. And no one seemed shocked to see them together. She looked very pretty in her red dress, and Simon was very handsome in his suit. He and the host had quite a long chat, and he and Blaise had a great time together. It was fun to be out in a grown-up world, particularly with the kind of people she had access to. When people asked what he did and he said he was a special ed teacher, no one looked contemptuous or was dismissive,
and a few asked what kind of special ed, and he explained that he worked with nonsighted children at a school in Massachusetts, but he was currently on leave in New York. No one knew he worked for her, and Blaise didn’t say it, but she liked the reaction people had to them. Everyone was friendly and welcoming, and no one cared about the difference in their age. It was a sophisticated group. She had wanted to prove to both of them that they could actually have a life together in the real world. She had wanted to test it for herself most of all. But they both loved the result when they thanked their hosts and finally went home, as the party began to thin out. Simon wished he could take her out to dinner, but they had to get back to wait for Salima, when Lucianna dropped her off.

“Wow, that was terrific,” Simon said as they rode the few blocks home. Blaise was beaming when they got out at her building and they walked across the lobby. It had been even better than she’d hoped. She loved being out with him.

“It was great,” she giggled in the elevator as he kissed her. He had been starving for her all night, and they still had to wait until Salima went to bed. “Nobody looked shocked or even interested that we were out together. I was afraid people would stare,” she admitted, “or make some rude comment.” She was enormously relieved and had had a terrific time with him.

“The only person who makes rude comments is my mother,” Simon said, as they got out on her floor and walked into her apartment.

“She’s going to go crazy when she finds out about us,” Blaise said with a look of concern. Simon looked totally relaxed as he took off his coat and left it on a chair. “What will you do?” Blaise asked him.

“About my mother? Ignore her. She’s made a big point all my life about how bohemian she is, and not bourgeois, while my father plays by no one’s rules and made a career of thinking outside the box. They have no right to get traditional now. They lost their right to that a long time ago, when they got married, and they’ve been pretty outrageous ever since. And what we’re doing isn’t outrageous.” They both changed their clothes and were sitting, chatting in the kitchen when Salima came home half an hour later, excited about the concert. She had no idea that Blaise was wearing makeup, but they were both wearing jeans.

“Hi, Simon,” she said blithely. “Wow, you smell good, Mom.” It never dawned on her that they had been out together. “Did you go somewhere?” Had she been sighted, she would have been able to read everything in her mother’s eyes.

“I went to a party at Adam Lancaster’s house. It was a nice Christmas party not far from here. He has a beautiful place and incredible art.” They chatted about the concert for a few minutes, and then Salima went to her room, Blaise went to do some work before they turned in for the night, and Simon said he had some e-mails to answer. But it was several hours before Simon came into her bedroom, and they curled up for the night and talked about the party again. Blaise lay in his arms and looked up at him. “I have fun with you, Simon.” More than she had ever had with any man in her life.