A Place to Rest My Heart (12 page)

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like this,” he pulled me into his arms and gently kissed me, framing my face with his hands. “Sweet dreams, Laney. I’d be happy to hear if you dream of me.”

“Go home,” I playfully shoved him out the door, “you’re nuts,” I said, smiling.

“Yes I am. Goodnight.” I closed the door and I stood there smiling like a loon. My God what was happening to me? Well whatever it was it was warm and comforting and was absolutely amazing. I could live with that for now.

I did a little cleaning up the kitchen before heading back to the bar to say goodnight to Tommy. Tommy was leaning on the bar talking to Chase and Mason. They stopped talking when I came under the pass thru. “Yeah, well, goodnight. If you give me a minute I’ll be upstairs so you can finish talking about me.”

Mason smiled at me, Chase nodded his encouragement, and Tommy didn’t even look at me. Well, to hell with all of them. I slammed the door on my way upstairs. I turned on my boombox to listen to some heavy metal music Mike had loaned me. Not bad, I thought, as I changed into my T-shirt and sweats and got into bed. I remembered the intro sheet on the new client and got it out of my back pocket. Amelia Heart, great name for a romance writer. Age, forty-five. Divorced. She’d been a writer for ten years and had six books make the top five on the bestseller list. Had been receiving threats from several groups. Current book seemed to have upset the magicians’ community. Revealed some trade secrets. Last book dealt with logging and the paper mills. A logger dropped a load of timber on her Porsche. Damn. What the heck was she writing to get so many people riled up like that?

By three in the morning I had a pretty good idea of what had gotten people riled up. When you hear the words “romance novel” you might think of heaving breasts, ripped bodices, lairds of the castle kidnapping damsels, love at first fight. Blah, blah, blah. Not this book. This woman wrote in real time and real life. The characters in her book lived lives based in reality and the harshness that came with it. Yes, there were love and betrayal. There were life, death, taxes, and barely getting by. But there was also hope. I had to force myself to put the book down and get some sleep. I lay back in the dark and thought of Sean as I drifted off.

The dream hit me hard and fast. I was ten again. Hiding in the closet in Aunt Katherine’s bedroom. She and her husband, Ray, kept separate bedrooms. Her closet was long and deep, with several good spots to hide among the clothes. Katherine and Ray had gone out that night and James had wasted no time in trying to find me. If I could keep away from him for two more hours, just until they came back home, I would be safe. I heard him calling for me up and down the hallway. My teeth chattered with fear as I sat in the back of the closet. The bruises from my last beating at his hands had barely faded. I prayed over and over for someone to help me but no one came. No one ever did. I knew he would be gone in a few months. I had it marked on my calendar. But that seemed like an eternity when you lived with the devil.

Time ticked away and it was quiet. I had just decided that he had given up when the clothing was flung aside and a bright light blinded me. “Well hello, my little Helena. You picked a good spot this time. I almost gave up.” James reached for me and I kicked out at him. But he was much stronger than I was and he pinned me down easily. “You will be punished for that, my little monster.” With one hand he reached up to a hook on the wall and pulled down a long leather belt. Then he pulled the sash off of a robe and tied my hands. I screamed, kicked, cried, and in the end I begged him to stop hitting me. I begged him until I had no voice left.

I woke up on the floor of my apartment, biting back a scream. “Jesus!” I got up and staggered to the bathroom and threw up. After splashing cold water on my face I sat on the hard tile floor until my body stopped shaking. I stayed there until my alarm went off several hours later. My body was stiff and cold as I slowly stood up and climbed into the shower. The hot water didn’t warm me up; I didn’t feel I could ever be warm again. Tommy wasn’t around so I breezed through the kitchen and drank two cups of coffee to wake up. I was glad he wasn’t there to ask any questions. I knew I looked like hell and no amount of makeup was going to hide it. I put on my sunglasses and walked to the bus stop. I hadn’t had that dream in almost five years. It wasn’t fair that it all came back with one chance meeting. But, as I knew, life was rarely fair.

Chapter Nine

I arrived at the Well-Kept Secret Bookstore an hour early to get a feel for the place. It was a huge old building that had been completely remodeled when the area gentrified. As bookstores tend to do these days, it had a café and a music section. But it had a great family feel to it — no trendy, impersonal avenues of books but old mahogany shelves, comfortable plush chairs in jewel tones, and out-of-the-way nooks for a quiet place to read.

After checking in with the head manager, I essentially cased the place for exits and hiding places, and plotted out scenarios. It was an old habit of mine to plot out “what if” scenarios. If this happens how might this person react? How would I react? A habit that seemed to work well as I grew up on the street. It had kept me alert and safe.

Once the signing tables had been set up I made some adjustments with the manager as to placement. I was just wrapping up my preparation when Amelia and her entourage showed up and chaos ensued.

Miss Heart was a beautiful, vivacious blond who could not have cared less about the possibility of danger. I walked up to her, and extended my hand, and flashed my ID. “Miss Heart,” I said, “I’m Laney Murphy from Woo Security.” She had a firm handshake and looked me over.

“Well, Laney, this is what I think. I think you’re wasting your time here but Joan,” she motioned to the tiny, harried-looking woman at her side, “thinks these people are serious, so I have allowed this — for Joan’s sake. She worries far too much about me.” Miss Heart looked at her secretary with affection. “Now, as for the signing, I intend to be here for several hours. I don’t want you intimidating my fans, so don’t crowd me.” I slipped on my sunglasses.

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll stand over here and try not to look intimidating.” Miss Heart studied me for a minute and then laughed. “You’ll do.” She turned away to speak with the store manager. Her assistant, Joan, introduced herself and sighed. “I’m sorry. She is as stubborn as the wind. But I do take the threats seriously and I appreciate you being here.”

“Thank you. Don’t worry, I can be stubborn too.”

“Well, good. Now how can I help you with Amelia?” Joan and I spent several minutes going over the layout of the signing table and the itinerary for the next several days.

That is until Steven Ray showed up. Steven was Amelia’s publicist and a perfect ass. Slim, styled, and wearing an Italian suit, his main purpose was making Amelia look good so he would look good as well. He vaguely noted my presence and then proceeded to rearrange the tables so that Amelia was far too accessible.

“Mr. Ray, I had the tables placed the other way so that the flow of the crowd could be better controlled.” I was polite and patient, even if I didn’t feel like it on the inside.

“Who are you again?” Steven looked down his nose at me.

“Laney Murphy. I am with Woo security and I’m here to protect Miss Heart.”

“Oh, right. Well, Elaine, you just stay right over there and I am sure Amelia will be fine.” At first he made a shooing motion with his hands. When that didn’t make me move, he placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed. I still didn’t move. He made some sort of growling noise that sounded more like a miniature poodle. It took everything I had not to laugh in his face as he stalked away. Round one went to me and I placed the tables back the way I had them.

I spent six hours on my feet that day with only one restroom break — which happened only because Miss Heart went to the restroom as well. By the time I got back to Muldoon’s I was exhausted. I changed into my sweats and T-shirt and went to dig up some dinner. I placed a bowl of soup in the microwave and was making a sandwich as Chase walked in.

I sat down and took a nice long drink of Coke. I got the feeling this wasn’t a social call.

“How was your day today, Laney?” Yep, I was right. Not a social call. “Just fine, sir.”

“I already asked you once to stop calling me sir. Now you want to tell me how your day was?”

“You want to kiss my ass?” He looked at me long and hard and then ran his hands over his face.

“Sorry. I’ve been a bit curt with you since last night. I got a call today from one Steven Ray. He said you were rude to him.”

I snorted and got up to get my soup. I sat down and ate a few bites of my sandwich before telling Chase how the day went.

“I wasn’t rude, and he touched me. I never laid a hand on him. His only concern is making her look good, not her safety.”

“I figured as much but I had to come and talk to you anyway.” Chase sat back and looked at me. “Laney, I ran a check on your cousin last night. I heard what he said to you through the wireless and I saw how you reacted. You look like you didn’t sleep well either.”

“Is that what you guys were talking about last night?”

“Yes.”

“You should have just asked me.”

“You’re right, but I was too pissed after reading the nice little file on him. I can imagine that you had it pretty rough if the file is any indication.”

I sat still and said nothing. No direct question. No indirect lie. I also knew that if anyone could ask the right question it would be Chase. I didn’t want to lie to him but I wasn’t about to retell it one more time. One sleepless night was enough. He studied me for a few minutes and then got up.

“Get some sleep. You look like hell.”

“Yes sir.”

He shook his head and left. I finished my food and headed to the couch to watch a movie. I have no idea what was in the DVD player since I fell asleep pretty quick and found myself right back the previous night’s dream. Helpless again, I could only scream as strong hands grabbed me.

“Laney, wake up honey. It’s only a dream.”

I had to get away. I had to make it stop. I heard a voice I recognized calling me.

“Laney! Wake up!”

I snapped awake and found myself staring into Tommy’s wide eyes. The fear still so intense I couldn’t breathe.

“Honey, it was a dream. You’re safe, little girl, you’re safe.”

His hands held my arms tightly, probably because I had tried to hit him. I slowly sat up and looked around me, making sure I was not in that closet with James. No, I was on the couch at Tommy and Molly’s house. I drew in a deep shuddering breath.

“I’m okay.”

Tommy’s look of concern almost undid me. This had to stop! I would not let the past live in the here and now anymore. He let go of my arms and disappeared into the kitchen, returning moments later with a glass of water. Handing it to me he asked, “Can I hazard that this has something to do with your cousin making an appearance?”

My teeth rattled against the glass as I drank the water. I nodded, not looking at Tommy.

“Laney, if you want to talk about it I’m here. I know you’re not one to open up to people. Molly said you had talked to her about William, and I’m glad you did, but I want you to know that if you want to talk about anything, anything at all, I am here for you. You don’t have to hold it back for fear of how I’ll feel about you or those who raised you.”

I heard something in his voice, some vehemence whenever he spoke about my family. I set the glass down on a table and looked at Tommy. “What is it that you haven’t told me? I’ve had that feeling from you, Molly, and even Chase. Just tell me, please.”

Tommy stood up with a sigh, went to the shelves that housed the many photo albums, and took one out and handed it to me. The first few pages were devoted to a baby Tommy and his parents. The photos were old and yellowed along with the album pages. Each page chronicled the growth of Tommy and his many siblings. It was on the sixth page of the album that my life turned on its ear again. He cleared his throat and I stood up, spinning around quickly and dumping the album on the floor.

“I know I should have told you sooner, Laney. I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure how.” Tommy’s hands tightened along the back of a high-backed chair.

I stood there while several pictures fluttered to the floor. Tommy didn’t move. He probably knew if he did I would have bolted. I think it was shock that kept me rooted to the floor. “You knew my mom and dad?” My voice sounded small even to me, as my ability to form clear sentences seemed to be on the fritz. How had Fate orchestrated this? Of all the people in the world I whose homes I could have stumbled into, I get the one who had known my parents?

“I swear, Laney had we known where you were. Where he was. I would have come for you. We would have taken you in after your mom died. We tried to find you.” Tommy moved from behind the chair to sit down. In reflex I backed up. I know he wanted to reach out and comfort me but I wouldn’t let him.

He reached down and picked up the pictures and album that had fallen to the floor. “Your Father met Carolyn, your mother, here in San Francisco. I swear from the moment he laid eyes on her he was a lost man. To be sure, she loved him as much. But her family wanted none of it. She was to marry a man more suited to her upbringing, a man of class. Not an Irishman and certainly not a laborer. But married they were and Molly and I stood for them. I had not seen two people more in love than those two. They left San Francisco soon after and I never saw him again. Michael sent me postcards every so often but he wouldn’t allow us to know where they were living. He knew that her family would come for her if they knew. Her family had clout and would have used any means to bring her back.”

Tommy sighed as he replaced the photos back in their weathered slots. He held up one of he and Molly standing with my parents on their wedding day. He set it back in the album and closed it.

Tommy looked up at me, his eyes shimmering, “Your mother called me when Michael died. I begged her to tell me where she was. To let us … let me help her. But it was too late. She had called her sister Katherine first and that bitch had already gotten her hooks into Carolyn.” Tommy pounded the arm of the chair with his fist. “Your Aunt Katherine hated us with a passion born of the devil himself. She took the phone away from Carolyn and told me Michael’s body was being shipped to us here. She told me that they would have nothing to do with paying for the funeral. Hell, she didn’t even have the decency to tell me how Michael died.” Tommy sat there quietly for a moment. I could tell this hurt him to talk about it. His fist clenched, eyes flashing with rage and then sadness.