A Promise of Tomorrow (15 page)

“It seems Meyer did his usual best, Allen, you look quite sharp,” Ashton said as Kyle joined the family on their way to the dining room. Ellis had just called them to dinner when Kyle reached the bottomofthe mainstairs.

“Thank you, Ashton, I believe he did. I’mwellpleased with the fit, and now I cannot wait for the rest of the order to arrive,” Kyle said, smilinginresponse. “I’mverygratefulto youfor the loanofyour clothes, but it’s nice to have myownagain.”

“Think nothing of it, Allen. I understand how you feel,”Ashton said, wavinga dismissive hand before offeringhis armto his sister and leadingher to the diningroom.

Anna, for once, was completely silent, and Kyle was surprised at it. When he smiled and made her a bow, she merely blushed and bobbed a smallcurtsybefore allowingher brother to lead her away.

Kyle looked at Warren for a moment before continuing on to the dining roomhimself, hoping for a smile or a word of approbation, but he was sadly disappointed. The lord of the house was as conspicuously silent as his niece this evening and barely looked at him as he followed them. Kyle tried to swallow around the lump in his throat and felt like a foolfor his earlier vanityover his new clothes.

Mrs. Holt was waiting for them in the dining room, and after Anna seemed to rally from her earlier shyness, the two ladies managed to keep conversation continuous and light despite the fact that two ofthe menat the table did little to help.

As the evening progressed and Warren said less and less, hardly looking in his direction, Kyle became more and more convinced that he had indeed offended the man. He ate very little, as the realization soured his stomach, and he couldn’t wait for the meal to end. His earlier resolve to show some fortitude and fixwhatever he had done was beingswamped byself-doubt.

He regrets bringing me here. I know it. Perhaps Victor was right, I really can’t do anything right
, he thought with an accompanyingpaininhis chest.

As the meal ended, Mrs. Holt excused herself and bid them good night, and Kyle nearly ran for the drawing room and the pianoforte. His one solace as a child and the only means of keeping his mother’s attention called to him with all the promise of comfort it always had.

Warren had said he enjoyed Kyle’s playing. At this point, he was desperate for anything that might erase his shame from the afternoon and make the lord of the house smile and joke with him again.

Anna joined him on the bench, and they began the duet they had practiced earlier. After that, Anna played and sang a few songs while Kyle turned the pages, casting furtive glances at the two other men as they sat talking quietly by the fireplace, but Warren never once looked in his direction unless it was to applaud his niece’s efforts.

Kyle took over after her, but instead of playing one of the melodies he’d selected from the stack of sheets, he chose to play some of the old Irish melodies he had learned for his mother. Getting lost in the comfort of bittersweet memories of his childhood while singing the familiar tunes, he hoped to ease some of his shame and humiliationand soothe his nerves.

He’d just finished “Cliffs of Doneen,” his mother’s favorite, whenhe heard Anna speak close to his ear.

 

“Oh, Mr. Allen, that was lovely,”Anna said, and her eyes were suspiciouslybright inthe lamplight.

Kyle looked up after the last notes had faded and smiled at her. “Thank you, Miss Ashton. The songs were some of my mother’s favorites. It has beena longwhile since I played them.”

He couldn’t help another glance at the two by the fire, and this time he found Warrengazingintentlyat him, anunreadable expression on his face. Their eyes met, and Kyle wished with allhis heart that he could know what the older man was thinking. Suddenly, Warren looked away, breaking their gaze, and stood, leaving Kyle feeling bereft.

Appearing to address no one in particular, he said, “Well, it has been a long day for me, and I believe I will retire for the evening. Please don’t let me stop you young people fromenjoying yourselves, though. I willbid yougood night.”

Kyle and Ashton stood, nodding good night to him as Anna said, “Good night, Uncle. I believe it’s been a long day for me as well, so I think I willsaygood night to youallalso.”

When they had left, Ashton offered Kyle a glass of port, and Kyle decided that that would be a wonderful idea. The object of his obsessive thoughts had gone to bed, and there was little else he could do but wait until morning to try and win the man’s favor again. He also needed somethingto calmhis nerves and help himsleep tonight.

While they drank, he and Ashton talked about nothing in particular. Ashton bragged ofhis exploits at the card tables, and Kyle joked that he would have to witness that for himself. As they talked, Kyle was reminded of how much he really liked Ashton. His feelings for his new friend weren’t nearly as confusing as they were for his uncle, and he hoped verymuchthat theycould remainfriends once he beganhis new life.

Well into their third glass of port, Ashton grimaced suddenly and said, “I wanted to tell you something, but I wasn’t sure how exactlyto do it. I don’t have mysister’s talent for this sort ofthing, so I’llbe blunt, ifI may?”

When Kyle nodded warily, he said, “I saw Weir at the assembly we attended before we left London. He had the ruddy cheek to ask me about you when he caught me alone, and, when I wouldn’t answer, he gave me a message for you. I thought perhaps I wouldn’t tell you, but I decided you really ought to know and it was not my place to keep it from you. He told me to tell you that he did not consider your debts to him discharged and that he would find a wayto collect and soon.”

Ashton paused for a moment and waited, but when Kyle didn’t say anything, he leaned in with concerned eyes and said, “Allen? Are youallright?”

Kyle shook himself out of the panic Ashton’s word put him in and cleared his throat, managingto croak, “Yes, thank you, Ashton, I amwell. I suppose I should have expected that he wouldn’t let go so easily. I had hoped he would but never reallybelieved it.”

“If you would not consider it impertinent of me, may I ask of what debts he speaks? Is there aught we could do to pay himoff so he’llleave youalone?”

Now Kyle felt himself blush, though the rest of him remained cold. Clearing his throat again, he said, “No, Ashton. I, um, I don’t believe he means money.” NotingAndrew’s blush of embarrassment, he said quickly, “Thank you for giving me the message. You were right to do so. I’m so sorry to have caused your family so much trouble. I never wanted to be sucha burden.”

“Don’t trouble yourself over it, Allen. You know my sister and I are quite fond of you, and our uncle now as well. We will do what we can to help you. Everyone deserves a good turn now and again, and next time around, youcanreturnthe favor,”Ashtonsaid, smiling.

“I will do everything in my power to make sure I do just that. Thank you again,” Kyle said earnestly over the lump in his throat. “But now I believe I should go to bed myself. It has been a long day, and I look forward to spending tomorrow with you and your sister, so I had better get myrest.”

Andrew still looked concerned, but he only said, “I look forward to it too. Good night, Allen.”

 

“Good night,” Kyle replied, heading for his rooms before his knees wouldn’t carryhimanymore.

He hadn’t realized the dream he’d been floating in at Kentwood was quite so fragile. After the upsets of the afternoon and Warren’s distant behavior that evening, allit took was one mention of Victor, and the fantasy had shattered into a thousand tiny little pieces. He’d been a fool to think he could escape so easily, and he hadn’t drunk nearlyenoughport to give hima peacefulnight’s sleep.

Y
ET
again, James couldn’t sleep. If he kept on like this, he’d fall off his horse or end up facedowninhis soup at dinner.

 

Perhaps some brandy to ease the way
. He donned his dressinggownand went to the libraryinsearchofit.

After his third glass of brandy, however, he was beginning to believe that nothing would stop the thoughts in his head from their merrydance.

He’d managed to find a measure of peace this afternoon by immersing himself in boring estate affairs and more letter writing, to the point where he’d felt much better collected when he’d gone to jointhe others for dinner.

Then Kyle had descended the stairs in his new finery, and James’s pitiful illusion of calm had fallen apart in seconds. The man had looked even more strikingly beautiful than ever, and after the closeness they’d shared in the woods, he was finding it extremely difficult to think ofanythingother thantouchinghimagain.

So he’d done his best to keep his distance and remained quiet throughout the meal, lest he give awayhis feelings to his familyand his guests. He’d managed to maintain his composure throughout the evening until Kyle had begun singing in that achingly beautiful tenor. At that point, he had lost what little control he had and fled the room as quicklyas he could.

Bloody hell!
he swore, not for the first time that night.
My will, my reason, and my sanity all seem to have abandoned me the moment I met the man. What happened to my perfectly content and comfortable life?

Sighing, he put back the last of the brandy in his glass, picked up the bottle, and rose to head back to his rooms.

 

If I’m going to drink myself to sleep, I’d best be in my bed when I do it.

He was in the hall, headed for his bedchamber, when he heard a frightened cry come fromKyle’s room. Foxed as he was, he didn’t even stop to think about what he was doing, he just pushed open the door and rushed right in.

There was enough light fromthe nearly fullmoon outside to see Kyle’s thrashing form in the bed, and as he hurried to the bedside, Kyle cried out, “NO!”and flungout his arms.

James caught one arm in mid-swing before it could connect with his head or the bedpost and gently held it, saying, “Kyle, wake up! Come on, now, it’s just a dream, you’re safe, wake up now.”

Kyle started, pullinghis armout ofJames’s grasp and gasping.

Kyle’s eyes looked dazed for a moment; thentheycleared, and he said, “Oh God, I, I’mso sorry, I….” He shuddered, then seemed to come fullyawake. “Just a dream. It was just a dream.”

“Yes, Kyle, it was just a dream. You’re at Kentwood, among friends. You’re safe,” James reassured both of them while his heartbeat slowed to somethingapproachingnormal.

Jumping back from the bedside, he walked swiftly toward the open door and said, “I heard you cry out from the hall. I apologize for the intrusion. I’llgive youyour privacyand let youget some rest.”

James had almost made it to the door before Kyle made any response, and when he did, he knew he was sunk. Kyle let out a strangled sob, turned his head away, and whispered, “Forgive me, my lord. I’m so ashamed… falling apart twice in one day.” Another sob was cut short, but James could see the younger man’s shoulders tremblingeveninthe shadows.

Groaning inwardly, he closed the door and made his way back to the bed. He couldn’t have stopped himself sitting down and gatheringKyle into his arms anymore thanhe could have stopped the moon fromrising that night. He felt the man in his arms resist only for a moment before turning and burying his face in James’s shoulder. Wrapping one armmore tightly around Kyle’s back, James set down the brandy bottle and threaded his fingers into Kyle’s hair, cupping his skulland supportinghimagainst his shoulder.

They sat like that for several long minutes as James listened to Kyle take sobbing breaths until he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to do somethingbefore he broke downand wept himself.

His hands moved, seeminglyoftheir ownaccord, to cup Kyle’s face, and he pressed his lips to the top of Kyle’s head, raining light kisses on those soft black curls. He continued to press kisses down the line of his forehead and along his arched eyebrows, punctuating eachsoft kiss withreassuringnonsense.

“It’s all right, sweet…. No one can hurt you here…. You’re safe with me, beautiful boy…. You’re all right.” If he had been clearheaded and in the full light of day, he’d probably have been appalled at what was coming out of his mouth, but right then, in the moonlight, it was so easyto give into temptation.

His kisses dropped to wet eyelashes and tear-stained cheeks, and all the while he continued his murmured reassurances. When Kyle moved his face higher in James’s grasp, it seemed only natural for their lips to meet. Kyle’s soft, trembling lips, salty with his tears, brushed James’s once, twice, and a third time before Kyle let out a strangled moan.

He felt Kyle’s hands fist in his dressing gown and his mouth open, drawing James’s mouth into an almost desperate kiss. Startled, James would have pulled back, but Kyle’s grip on his gown tightened, and his kiss became fierce. He felt himself twisted and pressed back against the head of the bed as Kyle leaned his entire body into that kiss, pulling back only long enough to catch short, sobbingbreaths before pushingback into James’s mouthagain.

The young man’s fierceness set him on fire, sudden and unexpected as it was, and soon he was kissing him back just as desperately. He wasn’t sure how he’d lost controlofthe situation, but at the moment, he was enjoying it too much to care. Some small part of his mind assured him that, when dawn came and the brandy was gone fromhis blood, he was going to be a very sorry man, but at the moment, that voice could barely be heard over the pounding in his ears.

Kyle continued to kiss him ravenously, his tongue sweeping every corner of his mouth, before pulling back and sucking hard on his lips. When James felt Kyle’s knee press between his thighs, he opened immediately to accommodate it. Kyle’s nightshirt rode up his thighs, bunching around his hips, and James’s hand connected with the smooth, warmskinofhis thighwhenit dropped to steadyhim. He could feel the heat and straining of Kyle’s erection through the folds oftheir clothing, and he groaned into Kyle’s mouthas a freshwave of need flooded his body.

Kyle was still trembling all over as he began moving against James’s thigh, though whether from his nightmare or need, James couldn’t tell. Kyle’s thighs squeezed his almost painfully as he thrust his cock over and over against it, whimpering and mewling against James’s mouth. As the thrusts became more desperate, Kyle’s teeth clamped down painfully on James’s lower lip, and he tasted blood. James grunted at the pain but made no attempt to move as Kyle held onwhile pumpinghimselfto climaxagainst James’s thigh.