A Promise of Tomorrow (16 page)

Just as he was beginning to feel the pressure build in his own body, his lip was released, and he heard Kyle let out a smallcry. The young man’s body went rigid, then collapsed against his chest, panting and boneless, and James took that moment to let his own head fallback against the headboard and catchhis breath.

He didn’t even have time to think about what had just happened before Kyle started sobbing, “I’msorry, I’msorry, I’mso sorry” in between ragged breaths and started shaking again, trying to pullaway.

James tightened his arms around the younger man’s body, not letting him escape, and said, “Don’t, sweet. It’s all right. Everything willbe allright. Calmyourself.”

He didn’t know if Kyle heard what he said or simply obeyed the needs of his body, but it was only a few moments before the trembling stopped and his breathing slowed. He held on for a while longer before he realized that Kyle had fallenasleep.

Gathering the young man up as carefully as he could, James eased out from beneath him and settled him back under the bed linens. He crept to the door on shaking legs and closed it with a small click behind him.

He only made it a few steps away from the door before his knees threatened mutiny, forcing himto lean his back against the wall and close his eyes. His head was spinning, his lip was throbbing, and his cock was screaminginprotest. Kyle’s thighhad beenstrokinghim with every thrust of his hips, and now he was being made painfully aware that he had not found release before Kyle had found his own.

He supposed he should be grateful that Kyle had fallen asleep
.
He didn’t know what he would have allowed to happen if Kyle hadn’t, but his bodywas not quite so pleased withthe circumstance.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he pushed away from the wall and walked the last few feet to his bedchamber, then swore to himselfwhenhe realized he’d put his brandydowninKyle’s room. He was inno conditionto navigate his wayback to the studyto find a substitute, and he was certainlynot goingback inthat room.

Damnation!I suppose it serves me right.

Closing the door to his rooms and grumbling uncharitable thoughts to himself about beautiful young men, grown men who should know better, and the unfairness of the world in general, he removed his dressinggownand climbed into his emptybed.

Hiking his own nightshirt up, he grabbed hold of his still throbbing shaft to give himself some cold comfort so he might fall asleep sometime before dawn. Leaning back into the pillows, he allowed more pleasant thoughts to push past his guilt and pique: the silken feel of Kyle’s short curls, the salt-sweet taste of his lips, the smell of soap and sweat mixed with the scent of Kyle’s spend. Runninghis tongue over the spot onhis lip where Kyle had bittenhim, he beganto stroke himselfinearnest.

This wouldn’t take long. He could already feel the pressure building in his bollocks and coiling in his belly as thoughts of those firm, lean thighs squeezing and riding his own slid over him. He could still feel the warmth of that sweet body pressed against his and the surprisingstrengthofthose elegant hands clutchingat him.

It took only a single sweep of his thumb across his slit before his release rushed over him, spilling out over his hands and onto his thighs and belly. Stifling his own cry, he rode the waves of intense pleasure, strokinguntilthere was nothingleft ofhim.

After cleaning himself with a damp flannel, he lay back against his pillows, giving in to post-climactic lethargy. His mind was already trying to reassert itself as guilt tried to push its way back to the surface, but his body won the fight for the second time that night, and he slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Tomorrow. He’d tear into himself tomorrow. He was just too tired to do it now.

 

Chapter 9

 

K
YLE
woke with his head set for cracking, his eyes puffy, his mouth dry, and his nightshirt stuck to his body in a most uncomfortable fashion. It only took a moment before his memory returned, and with it a rushofshame.

Oh God,
he moaned inwardly.
What have I done?

He’d gone to bed with his stomach in knots after Ashton’s news. Thoughts of Victor had warred with memories of his ride with Warren. Fear had meshed with shame and desire, leaving him sick. He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he remembered dreaming of phantom footsteps following him through foggy streets, and, no matter how hard he ran, theykept gettingcloser.

Phantom hands had grabbed him, and Victor’s voice had whispered in his ear, “
You’re mine. You’ll never be anything more. You’re nothing without me.
”

He’d tried to fight, to kick and scream, but the voice and the hands wouldn’t let go of him. Then he’d heard another voice, calling his name, telling himeverything would be all right, and he had woken to find that beautiful man looking at him with nothing but care and concern. It had proved to be too much.

He’d tried to hold back the shameful outburst long enough for Warren to leave him, but it was too late. The best he could do was turn his head and clench his jaw over the tears that threatened so Warren wouldn’t see his weakness. But instead of leaving himalone, strong arms had pulled him against a warm, broad chest, and that wonderful voice had offered him all the comfort and protection he could ever want.

Then what did you do, you bloody fool?
he castigated himself.
You threw yourself at him and rutted against him without so much as a “by your leave.”

He remembered the man’s grunt of surprise when he’d shoved himback against the bed and claimed his mouth, but at the time, he’d been so wrapped up in his own need that it hadn’t even registered. Warren’s arms had felt so good around him, and when he had kissed his brow and his cheeks, it had set a fire in Kyle that he’d never felt before. At that moment, he’d wanted that man more than he’d ever wanted anythinginhis life.

He’d thought Warren was kissing him back when it was happening, but now he wasn’t so sure. Going over and over it in his head, Kyle realized the man hadn’t done anything but hang on while Kyle rubbed himselfto completiononhis thigh.

Did I shock him into immobility, or did he desire me too? And even if he wanted it, what did I do for him but rut against him and fall asleep?

Awash in a new rush of shame and confusion, Kyle groaned and put his head inhis hands.
I wonder where forcing yourself on your host ranks on the list of social faux pas
, he thought without humor.
And will he simply throw me out, or will he thrash me first?
Opening his eyes, he decided he wouldn’t be able to fix anything by lying in bed all day, so he pulled back the linens and stood up. What he would do now, he didn’t know.

The man he’d left his home for and allowed to take over his life had betrayed and hurt himand was stillsomewhere wishinghimharm. The man who had taken himin and shown himnothing but kindness, generosity, and tenderness was probably even now preparing to send himaway, and allofit was his owndamnfault.

No hope for it.
He sighed.
I promised myself I would take responsibility for my own life, so I suppose there’s no time like the present. Perhaps someday I’ll learn my lesson and be able to control myself… if I manage to live so long.

After washingand dressinginthe clothes he’d beenwearingthe night he’d metAshton and his sister, Kyle descended the stairs to the main halland inquired after the lord ofthe house froma footman. The lord was “in his study and not to be disturbed,” but Kyle wasn’t sure he’d have the nerve to talk to him if he waited much longer. He couldn’t bear the thought of sharing breakfast with the twins without knowing what was to become of him, and he very much doubted he’d be able to keep anything down even if he tried. So, taking what courage he had in both hands, he made his way down the hall to the large oak door that Warren had told him was his private study and knocked.

“What?”was the growled response.

 

Not a good sign
. He winced, swallowing at the lump in his throat.

 

“My lord, it’s Mr. Allen. I would beg a moment of your time to speak withyouprivately,”he said, proud that his voice didn’t shake. There was a long pause, during which Kyle was afraid he would be refused, thena reluctant, “Come.”

Kyle opened the heavy door into a small room containing only a desk, two chairs, and bookshelves filled with leather-bound ledgers. Warren was seated behind the desk with a forbidding frown onhis face, and Kyle almost lost his nerve and bolted for the door.

Clenching his hands into white-knuckled fists at his sides, he took the last painful steps into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Well?”James said. It appeared as ifone-word sentences were allKyle was goingto be gettingfromhimtoday.
Kyle bit his lip, squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, and began the speech he’d been preparing since he woke. “My lord, I apologize for the intrusion, but I felt I could not wait to speak with you. I know I have no right to ask anything of you at this point, but I beg you to allow me the opportunity to apologize for last night. I am utterly ashamed of the way I behaved. I take fullresponsibility for the appalling manner in which I acted, and I will accept any punishment you see fit to mete out. I realize you will not want me in your home after what I have done,”—here he faltered, and his voice cracked—“and I only beg that you not share the whole of the story withMr. and Miss Ashton.”

Warren held up a hand when he paused for breath, and Kyle fellsilent.

The other man then closed his eyes and brought both hands up to his face, dragging themdown it before opening his eyes again and saying, “Mr. Allen, youweren’t the onlymaninthat roomlast night. If you recall, I was there also, and despite your very noble efforts to take allthe blame, I amno innocent maid.”

When Kyle looked up in surprise, he smiled rather sourly and continued. “You also seem to have failed to notice that I am more than fifteen years your elder and at least a half a foot taller and broader than you. All of which means that there would be very little youwould be able to force me to do ifI were not willing.”

Kyle’s jaw had dropped during James’s speech, but he couldn’t seemto think ofanythingto say.

“As for casting you out of my house, I don’t think that will be necessary. As long as we come to an understanding about what happened and vow that it will not happen again, I will not speak of it,”he continued.

Kyle latched onto some of his words like a lifeline. “But if I didn’t force you, then…?”
“No, enough. We will not discuss last night any further,” James interrupted, as he stood and rang for a servant. “You are still my guest, and you will remain here while you wait for your letter from your aunt. We will forget that anything else ever happened, and there’s anend onit.”
Before Kyle could respond, there was a knock, and Ellis entered, saying, “Yes, mylord?”

Warren’s scowl turned to a look of surprise when he saw who was at the door. “Ellis, I thought you had business in the village this morning.”

“I did, my lord, but seeing as how his lordship ordered that he not be disturbed in so very
firm
a manner this morning, it was requested of me, by the other members of the staff, that I let my business wait so that I could be near should you require anything,” Ellis replied, keeping a straight face, though that twinkle that Kyle liked so muchwas lurkinginhis grayeyes.

Warren’s eyes narrowed at the veiled reproof, but he continued, “Mr. Allenis in need ofbreakfast, Ellis. Please take himto the drawing roomand see that he gets it. Also, I have business in the village myself today, and I won’t be back before dinner. Please informMrs. Holt and my niece and nephew not to expect me, if you would.”Noddingto Kyle, he said, “Good morning, Mr. Allen.”

Kyle had been the recipient of enough pointed dismissals in his life to know there was no use in arguing, especially not in front of Ellis, so he said, “Good morning, my lord,” and bowed his retreat, precedingEllis into the hall. He needed the time to think, inanycase.

That had to be, without doubt, the strangest conversation he’d ever had. He’d gone in fearing the worst only to be gruffly informed that he wasn’t the only one at fault and ordered to remain as a guest ofthe house.

He supposed he should simply be grateful that he wasn’t being shown the door with a boot in his backside, or in the arms of the magistrate, but allhe could think ofwas what else Warrenhad said.
Could he have wanted it too?

 

Kyle thought back to their encounter, to the feelofhis arms, the smellofhis skinand sound ofhis voice.

 

He called me “beautiful boy
,”he remembered suddenly.

He also remembered, now that the pulse of his own need wasn’t making him blind to anything else, that, when he’d collapsed against Warren’s chest, he’d felt the man’s own arousal beneath his hip before sleep had claimed him.

He was hard. He wanted me!
Kyle realized wonderingly, the knowledge makinghimflushwitha mixture ofpleasure and fear.
He was still trying to sort through his feelings when the twins arrived, joining him for breakfast. He tried to rein in his emotions as muchas he could before anythingshowed onhis face. Andrew would attribute anydiscomposure to his news about Victor, butAnna would probably ask questions, and he wasn’t in any condition to answer her.
As Kyle was trying to figure a polite way to excuse himself without drawing their concern, Ellis arrived carrying a letter for him, and allother thoughts fled fromhis head.
It was the letter he had been waiting for, the one from his aunt that would decide his future. The twins looked at himwith equalparts excitement and concern as he excused himself to read it in private. Not sure where to go, he made his way outside to the gardens, and with shaking hands, he broke the plain wax seal and sat down on a smallbenchto read it.
There wasn’t much to read. There were the usual formal greetings, a declaration of concern regarding the difficulty he found himself in, hints that youth and possible character flaws on his part were the root cause of those difficulties, and an invitation to visit as soonas possible so that theymight discuss his plight and prospects.
Well, it’s better than I feared
.
At least she’s willing to see me.
He reread the letter to make sure that he hadn’t missed anything, and his heart sank as he realized something.