A Promise of Tomorrow (20 page)

As he cantered down the road, his saddle reminded him that perhaps his choice of activities the night before could have been better thought out, and he smiled wryly at the thought. Today’s ride would be rather unpleasant for certain parts of his anatomy, but he couldn’t be sorry. The memories of last night would have to last him for the rest ofhis life.

J
AMES
woke to birdsong and soft morning sunlight. He stretched lazily only to have his thighs and wrists twinge and complain. Coming fully awake, the memories of the night before washed over him, and he grinned. Looking about him, he realized he was alone, but the rumpled state of the bed and the faint smell of their coupling assured him he hadn’t been dreaming. He looked down at his wrists and chuckled.

Perhaps it would be best for me to dress myself today, or at least don my own shirt
. It would give the marks on his wrists a little time to fade before Edwards saw them.

Though part of him dearly missed waking up with Kyle in his arms, he was thankful the lad had had the presence of mind to leave before they were discovered. He’d told Ellis that he would be sleeping late, but he supposed they couldn’t be too careful. He’d never had a lover in his home before, and the state of the bed linens was goingto be suspicious enough.

And such a lover
. Grinning like a fool he leaned back on his pillows.

Kyle, sweet Kyle, beautiful Kyle
. How had he gotten so lucky as to have someone so lovely want himenough to come to himin the night, ignoringhis everyprotest?

Rationally, he should never have allowed it. He had been reckless and indiscreet in his own house. But he couldn’t help being almost giddy with joy at the night they had shared. He hadn’t felt this good in a very long time. There had always been some small part of himself left unfulfilled, an ache of loneliness that had been a part of him for so long he could barely remember being without it. Even the twins, whom he loved almost as his own children, had never been able to touchit.

But now?

He shook his head. He just didn’t know. Kyle made him want things he hadn’t even considered in over fifteen years: a partner, a helpmeet, someone to share his days and nights with. In a few short days, the young man had made him begin to dream of things he’d never dared before, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do about it.

There must be some way
.

He decided not to ruin his good humor by dwelling on allof the obstacles to his happiness. He needn’t come up with all the answers this very morning. There would be time to figure out what they would do.

He rose to wash and put on his trousers and shirt. After removingwhat evidence he could ofwhat he had beendoingthe night before, he rang for Edwards. His valet was prompt as always, and James was dressed for the dayinshort order.

Descending the main stair, he heard voices from the drawing roomand moved to join them, fighting the urge to whistle a tune. On entering the room, he found his niece and nephew chatting over breakfast. They made a lovely scene, Anna in white and pink embroidered muslin and Andrew in a green and brown striped waistcoat and fawn trousers. Heads of nearly identical brown tousled curls turned inhis direction, and James couldn’t help but smile.

He was disappointed Kyle wasn’t there, but the thought that the young man needed to sleep in after his exertions of the night before made himfeelinordinatelypleased withhimself.

“Good morning, Uncle,” the twins said in unison, as they had done oftenas smallchildren, and James’s smile widened to a grin. “Good morning, imps, and how are you this fine day?” he said inreturn.

Two identical sets of raised eyebrows met his question a moment before Anna answered, “We are quite well, thank you, Uncle. Willyoujoinus?”

“Certainly, my dears, I would be glad to.” His grin hadn’t faded, and the twins were bothlookingat himoddly.

“Why, Uncle, I don’t think I’ve seen you this lively in ages. Your trip to the village yesterday must have been quite fruitful,” Andrew said witha chuckle.

James decided he needed to sober a little or theywould get too curious about his queer mood. “Nothing out of the ordinary, nephew, I assure you, though it was a beautiful day for a ride. I do apologize for disappearing on you yesterday and the day before. I shall endeavor to be a better host fromnow on.”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Uncle,”Anna replied. “When have we ever demanded that you be a proper host? We’re family. We’ve never stood onceremonybefore, and I refuse to allow youto start now. IfI have to dealwithallthe same nonsense Mother makes us dealwithin town, I might as wellhave stayed inLondon.”

“Too true, niece, I amrightly rebuked.” He rose and bowed to her with a twinkle in his eyes. “I shall, therefore, withdraw my apology and make myself scarce for another few days. There, will that make youhappyenoughto staywithme?”

“Oh, Uncle,” she said, giggling as Ellis entered the room with his trayofcoffee.

“Good morning, my lord,” he said, placing the tray on a nearby table and pouring. Handing James the cup, he asked, “Will there be anythingelse, mylord?”

“No, Ellis. Thank you. This sweet ambrosia is allthat I require,” he said, grinningat him.

Ellis’s own brows shot up, and an answering grin split his face. “May I be so bold as to comment that my lord seems quite refreshed this morning.”

James winced a little internally, wondering if Ellis would be smiling so broadly if he knew the reason for his lord’s good humor, and chastised himself for being so foolish. Pushing the thoughts away, he said, “I am, thank you, Ellis. And I apologize for yesterday. It was wrong of me to make myself so much the bear that the rest of the staffhad to nominate a championto brave myden.”

“My lord need not apologize. We are simply grateful to see your good humor restored. Is Mr. Allen expected to return for dinner, mylord?”Ellis asked as he straightened to leave.

“Return?”he asked, confused.

“Yes, my lord. The stable master informed me he left early this morning. I didn’t have the opportunity to speak with him before he left, so I was unable to inquire as to his plans for dinner,” Ellis said, his brows now drawingdowninconcernat James’s apparent shock.

James was struck dumb, and his stomach clenched and roiled around the tinybit ofcoffee he’d had. He looked to the twins.

“Mr. Allen said he was unsure about when he would return, perhaps not untiltomorrow,”Andrew answered, looking at Ellis. “He said not to wait dinner. He would see to his own meal before he returned.”

“Thank you, sir, my lord,” Ellis said, bowing and casting one more concerned look toward James before leavingthe room. WhenJames found his voice again, he croaked, “Tellme.”

“I’m terribly sorry, Uncle. We thought he would speak to you before he left. He received the letter fromhis aunt yesterday. He said she was willing to speak with himand that she had summoned himto visit as soon as he was able. When he asked to borrow a horse, I thought there would be no harm in offering him Gwinny. I suppose you returned too late for him to speak to you and he didn’t want to disturb youthis morning,”Andrew replied, frowninginconcern.

“I see,” James said, forcing himself to relax.
He’s only gone for a few hours, at most a night. His clothes are still here. He’ll be back.

But his good humor had fled with surprising swiftness, and he couldn’t seemto bringhimselfto sayanythingelse.

“Uncle?” Andrew said. “Did I offer something I should not? Perhaps I should have consulted youbefore I did, but I thought, since Gwinnyis mine, that youwouldn’t mind. I apologize ifI did wrong.”

James sighed. He needed to get himselfunder control.

“No, Andrew. No harm done. I simply didn’t know any of it had taken place. You did the right thing. I’m glad Mr. Allen heard from his aunt and that she was willing to see him. That’s wonderful news. I’msure he simplydidn’t wishto disturb me,”he said, forcinga smile. “So, what shallwe do todaywhile we wait to hear his news?”

Andrew and Anna seemed to relax at his words and began to chat about prospective walks and a visit to the village. James listened with only half his attention. Kyle had received the letter fromhis aunt, had even made a plan to see her, and hadn’t said one word to him. Granted, he had been gone the whole day, and they’d both been preoccupied duringthe night….

But why didn’t he wake me before he left?

That hurt him more than he wanted to admit. Perhaps Kyle didn’t feel as strongly as he did. Perhaps his concerns over how he and Kyle might manage some kind of relationship safely and discreetlywere moot.

He realized, then, that he’d been acting like a lovesick fool all morning after only a single night of passion. He needed to talk to Kyle, but that couldn’t happenuntilthe youngmanreturned. Untilthat time, he must remember that he was a grown man, not some mooning schoolboy. He would have to get hold of himself and show dignity and composure as befitted his station.

And for God’s sake, show some consideration for your family.
Forcing his face into a more pleasant mien, he joined his niece and nephew in their conversation and tried to put his ill humor behind him. He and Kyle would talk when he returned, and then he would know how to proceed.

K
YLE
closed the door to the small bedchamber his aunt had given himand leaned his aching head against the door. He had spent hours onhorseback, his bumcomplainingloudly, onlyto be ushered directly into his aunt’s drawing room by a sour-faced butler, without a moment to compose himself.

He had then been subjected to a two-hour long interview, during which his aunt had regaled him with the seemingly unending litany of his failings, read directly froma letter that his father had sent her. She looked and sounded enough like his father that he’d almost felt like he was back home again, though the feeling gave him no comfort.

To his relief, she had then informed him that, despite her brother’s instructions to the contrary, she could make up her own mind without his interference and would indeed consider helping him find employment, provided he gave his word that he would strive to improve himself.

He had assured her in as many ways as he could think of that he would do all in his power to prove worthy of her faith and generosity, until she had finally held up her hand to silence him. But when she spoke again, she’d crushed any happiness or reliefhe might have evenbegunto feelwithone simple demand.

“You were led astray by the licentiousness of men who can afford such behavior, whose money, land, and titles allow them freedoms which yours do not. How you believed that that man, Mr. Weir, would think you so much the friend that he would provide you with a future, I’ll never know. You reached above your station and consorted with who knows what kind of rakes and scoundrels. I don’t know what you got up to in your time in London, doubtless gambling and drinking and whatever other immoralities young gentlemen of fashion get up to these days. But I tell you now, if you are to receive any of my help, you will give me your promise to cut offallcontact betweenyourselfand anyone youmet inLondon.”

At his gasp, she continued onwithout lettinghiminterrupt. “I do realize that youhave to express proper gratitude to theAshtonfamily, as well as Lord Warren, for their aid. As you said in your letter, they were uncommonly generous and kind to you, and you mustn’t seem ungrateful or disrespectful, especially not to so illustrious a personage as the viscount. However, that can be as easily done in a letter as in person. There is no need for you to return and be any more of a burdento themthanyouhave alreadybeen.”

When she paused, Kyle collected himself enough to say, “I’m sorry, Aunt, but I fear I must returnat least once to Kentwood Hall. I have to returnthe horse I borrowed, as wellas collect mytrunk.”

He had a feeling his protests were falling on deaf ears, and the sinkingfeelinginthe pit ofhis stomach was confirmed when his aunt’s eyes narrowed, her lips pinched together, and she said, “Oh no, nephew, that willnot be necessary. I willsend someone to the Hallto return the horse and collect your things. I believe the sooner you leave behind this little escapade the better. The servant can deliver your letters to the family, and there will be an end on it. The sooner you leave behind the temptations of your betters, the sooner this sordid business will be ended. Truly, nephew, it
is
for the best… and I insist,”she said, lookinghimsternlyinthe eye.

He would be given no choice, it seemed. Yet again, someone had control of his life, and there was little he could do about it if he wanted a chance at a future.

And perhaps it is for the best
, he thought, remembering how hard it had beenfor himto leave Kentwood that morning.

How much harder would it be a second time, knowing it was forever? And what if James asked him to stay? Even if it were only for a few more days, could he refuse the man? Could he turn down such a temptation for the cold reality of the life his aunt was offering him?

The answer to that was obvious. Kyle didn’t think he’d ever be able to say no to anything James wanted. His aunt was right. He needed to be away from such temptations before they became his ruinand before he became the cause ofruinor scandalto his friends.

Straightening his shoulders, he managed to say, “Yes, Aunt. It will be as you say. Would it be possible for me to have a few moments to refreshmyselfbefore I set to writingthe letters?”

“Yes, of course, my boy. Ring the bell, and I will have Pratt show you to your bedchamber. You may write your letters there if you wish. Pratt will come for you when dinner is ready, after which we will return here and discuss your prospects. I have already sent out inquiries as to positions for you among my friends and acquaintances. We willreview the replies I have received thus far.”

“Yes, thank you, Aunt,” Kyle said as a wave of melancholy washed over him.

Pratt, her sour-faced butler, returned and led him to the promised bedchamber, and now here he stood, leaning against the door, head, body, and heart achinginconcert.

He knew he needed to get started on the letters. It would take hima long time to decide what to say, how to thank the people who had been so generous to him, how to convey the depths of his feeling for the lord of Kentwood Hall in a manner that would not prove incriminatingshould it be found.