A red tainted Silence (25 page)

I nodded, stunned by his promise. My heart trip-hammered. I couldn’t get enough air.

Heat flooded my groin -- I was already getting hard again.

My breath quickened. Nick’s chest rose and fell beneath my hands just as fast. What he suggested, what he wanted, I had barely dared think about.

He wanted inside me.

The back door slammed. Nicholas jerked back, but there was nowhere he could go --

we were caught. Fear tore through me. I yanked my hands off his chest and hurriedly refastened my pants. “Adam,” I whispered.

“Oh, no,” he said, panic in his voice. He started to rise.

“Hey, guys.” Jonathan walked into the kitchen and stopped, his expression stunned.

Then he laughed as Nicholas collapsed in relief onto me and I automatically wrapped my arms around him. “Shit. I was going to ask what’s up, but I’m guessing you both are.”

“Jonathan, dammit, what are you doing here?” I said, closing my eyes and resting my head on Nick’s shoulder. I realized then just how hard I was breathing -- as was Nicholas.

Jonathan wasn’t stupid. He saw it, too. I just hoped he didn’t spy my wadded-up t-shirt on the floor.

“Hey, don’t mind me. I won’t keep you long. Just came by to talk to you about something.” He smirked. “Figured I’d find you together, but not ... exactly like this.” Nicholas giggled, making me look at him in dismay. “Sorry,” he said, looking chagrined.

Obviously thinking Nicholas was apologizing to him, Jonathan said, “No problem. I find it rather intriguing that my brother prefers dicks to chicks. Still can’t believe you’re fags, though, Brandon.”

Anger flared. Nicholas pulled back, surprised as I nearly dumped him on the floor.

“Dammit, Jonathan, would you fucking cut it out? And don’t call me that. Or Nicholas, either.”

I sat back again, only because of Nick’s calming touch. “It’s okay, Brandon.”

“No, it’s not. I won’t have my brothers call you that. Even in jest.” A Red-Tainted Silence

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Jonathan held up his hands. “Sorry. No offense meant. You’ll have to school me on the correct vernacular.” He picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it. “Fruit,” he said and grinned. “Oops, guess that’s not appropriate either. Don’t want you to spank me.” Nicholas reached over and smacked Jonathan on the arm. “Be nice, or I’ll spank you myself.”

Jonathan threw his head back and laughed. When he could finally talk, he said, “You’re okay, Nicholas. You’re fucking okay.”

I rubbed my forehead, wincing as the pounding in my head seemed to have returned.

Still, my anger seeped away, replaced by fatigue. “What did you come by for, Jonathan?

We’re kinda busy.”

What else could I do? Nicholas was still on my lap, it was damn obvious the state we were in, and I wanted my brother to get the heck out of the house.

“I was thinking about Nick’s situation. Came to offer him a place to crash.”

“Really?” Nicholas said, hope glinting his eyes.

“You’d want to stay with him?” I said in disbelief.

Nicholas shrugged. “Sure. Like he said, he’s really all bark.” Jonathan grinned. “See? He likes me. My roommate won’t mind if we have a gay guy or two hanging around the house.” He looked at me, waggling his eyebrows. I gave up. “You don’t cook, by any chance, do you, Nicholas?”

Nicholas grinned. “I make a killer veggie lasagna.” I just stared at him -- he could have been sitting on a park bench conversing with a stranger and he wouldn’t have been any more comfortable than he was now.

Jonathan made a face. “I’ll pass. You going back to Adam’s, Brandon?” I shook my head. “No, I don’t want to, but I guess I have no choice, at least for now.” Nicholas looked down at me, then said to Jonathan, “Your dad’s kinda kicked Brandon out.”

“You’re joking. Why?” He looked at me. “Brandon, he’s not serious.” I nodded. “Dad gave me a week to get out and find a job.”

“He caught us naked in bed together,” Nicholas said with a shrug.

“Nicholas!” I said, mortified. He’d make me feel like that a lot over the coming years.

Especially around Jonathan.

But Jonathan nodded in understanding. “Figured you couldn’t keep your hands off my baby brother. He’s so fucking adorable.”

I closed my eyes. I’m not here. I’m dreaming ...

“Key’s under the front mat. Rent’s cheap, sixty a week. All’s you’ll need is a new bed. A big one.” He clapped me on the back. “Coming, too, Brandon?” 144

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I looked up at him in surprise. “You want me to?” His expression sobered. “Yeah, I do. I don’t think you should go to Adam’s, and obviously staying here is out. This way I can keep an eye on you two. It pisses me off that Dad kicked you out. He did that to me once, too, you know.”

“He did? When? Or should I say, because of who?” He grinned lecherously at me. “Kimberly Stevens, that’s who.” I remembered Kimberly. Oh, yeah, how could I forget one of the few women who almost succeeded in seducing me? I’d been fifteen. She’d seriously screwed with my brain, though she never got to screw with my body.

“Oh. I don’t remember him kicking you out.”

“Only ’cause I promised no more Kimberly. So, you guys come on, move your stuff in.

I’ll tell Ronnie so he won’t freak if he sees you making out in the kitchen. Got to run, guys.

You can get back to your grope session.”

I grimaced. “Jonathan, wait, I’ll walk you to your car.” I smacked Nicholas on the leg to get up. I groaned dramatically as he did so, earning a frown from him and a snicker from Jonathan. Nicholas tossed his hair and trounced off, wagging his butt as he left us.

It made me think of the audition. My mouth went dry. I wanted nothing more right then than to tackle Nicholas to the floor, rip off his jeans, and --

My brother punched me in the arm, breaking into my fantasy. “Come on. Talk to me; then you can pounce.”

“Jonathan, please, cut it out.”

“Are you kidding? I haven’t had this much fun since I hid your teddy bear when you were six.”

I followed him out of the kitchen and outside. “You were the one who did that? I blamed Adam.”

He leered over his shoulder. “I know.”

“You bastard,” I said, laughing. I lunged for him, but he ran away from me, stopping as he reached his car door. I grabbed for him and he laughed, wrapping his arms around me in a bear hug.

“Gotcha, baby bro.” Then he tickled me until I couldn’t breathe.

Right then I loved my brother more than I ever had in my life.

“Give?” he finally said, holding me down with ridiculous ease. No way I could break free. He outweighed me by at least fifty pounds and was stronger than an ox. He held me with one arm and knuckled my head -- fortunately not where I’d banged it. I didn’t want to explain that.

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“I give, I give,” I said, laughing so hard I gasped, my legs buckling beneath me. He squeezed tight once more for good measure before he let me go, though he helped me stay standing.

“You’re so fucking fragile, Brandon. Good thing you gave in. I might’ve snapped you in two.”

I leaned against the car to catch my breath, patting my stomach. “Make more waffles.

That ought to help.”

He shook his head as he leaned on the car next to me. “You ate two, Brandon. Two waffles does not a fat man make.”

I burst out laughing. “I ate way more than that.” He jingled his keys in his hand and turned to me, his expression solemn. “What’s wrong, Jon?” I asked, suddenly worried.

He glanced over my shoulder to make sure we were truly alone. “Nothing’s wrong. You know something?” he said, leaning against me.

“What?”

“It isn’t really that weird, you with him. I haven’t seen you look this happy, laugh like that, in so long that it’s kinda shocking. I’m glad you finally found him.” I smiled, maybe surprising us both by wrapping my arm around him and hugging him.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and sighed. “Thanks, Jon. I’m glad I found him, too.”

“Is he feeling okay? I could see those bruises. Who was the bastard who did that, anyway?” He hugged me back, then kissed me on the cheek. “Oops, better cut that out.

Someone might think I’m gay, too.”

I snorted. “I doubt that. The guy who attacked him was his old high school boyfriend.

Been stalking him ever since.”

“He hasn’t told the police?”

“No. I plan to talk to him about it, though.”

He chucked me on the chin, and I released him. “You do that. He looks like he needs someone to watch out for him, and you’re just the guy to do it. You really are kinda cute together, you know.”

I smiled, pleased, running a hand over my face and crossing my arms over my bare chest. “I doubt Adam would see us that way.”

He grimaced then. “No, and he’s pretty pissed right now, too. Has he shown up here yet?”

“No.”

“He will. I just talked to him, when he was about to leave for work. You know the guys want Nicholas.”

I stared at him. “What?”

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“Yeah. They like him.” He opened up the car door and got inside, holding the door open and looking up at me. “They didn’t like Adam’s choice, obviously, so they want Nicholas. I listened to the tape and have to agree with you guys. Nick’s got something special. And not just my baby brother.”

“What did Adam say?”

“Besides ‘shit fucking no fucking way,’ you mean?” I cringed. “Yeah.”

“Said he’d think about it. If he goes for it, I think you should do it, Brandon. The experience you’d get would be good for Nicholas. For you, too.” I nodded. “Yeah, it would. Jonathan, the guys -- they don’t know about me and Nicholas.”

“Nope, and I don’t think they should know. That’s something Adam definitely agrees with. They kinda already pegged him for gay, but they liked his voice. You look straighter than I do, so I don’t think they’ll see it. I don’t think they’ll be able to figure it out. I don’t know if it’ll work out, so wait to tell Nicholas, okay? Adam’s pretty much against your boyfriend. But at least he’s thinking about it.” I nodded absently, knowing I wouldn’t be able to keep it from Nicholas. “Thanks, Jonathan.”

“See you later on, then? Amanda’s making spaghetti at six, and there’ll be plenty if you want to show up.”

“Amanda?” I asked.

He grinned. “My latest conquest.” Then he frowned. “Although I think she’s the one doing the conquering. You’ll like her, and she’ll love Nicholas.” I sighed. “Girls do.”

“And that, baby brother, is why he’ll be a star while the rest of us fade to black.” He laughed and closed the car door, then drove away. I watched as his car disappeared around the corner, not comprehending then how prophetic his words would be.

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I went inside, searching for Nicholas. When I found him, disappointment skittered through me. He’d had another shower -- steam and the sweet scent of shampoo filled the room. He had Jonathan’s jeans on and was pulling on another shirt, one of mine. It was a little tight.

“Hey, Nick, what’re you doing?”

He grimaced. “Got to go to work.”

“To work? At Charlie’s?”

“No, the school.”

I walked over to the bed and sat down, watching him as he ran a comb through his hair, brushing his bangs back into a semblance of a hairstyle any everyday normal guy on the street would wear. Not his usual. It amazed me what a difference simple changes could make in how he looked. Now he looked older, not so innocent and childlike.

Innocent and childlike except in bed. There, he was the master.

“What days do you work there?” I kept my disappointment over his leaving me out of my voice as best I could. Not sure I did too good of a job.

He put the comb down. “I’ll have to write you up a schedule of what I do when. It’s kinda nuts,” he said, turning his gaze to the ceiling as he tapped off his list. “I have classes three mornings a week. Work at Charlie’s three nights a week and all day Saturday. Do my poetry readings every Wednesday. Friday’s my only evening off during the week. Sunday’s my only day off from everything. I try to study and write most Sundays, call my parents. I work at the primary school every afternoon from two to five-thirty. After-school shift, when the munchkins are at their worst.”

I grinned at that. “I’m sure you have no trouble. You probably climb into the sandbox with them.”

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He laughed as he pulled on his shoes. “Yeah, pretty much.” He looked up at me. “Want to come with?”

I shook my head. “No, I’ll just hang out here. Maybe do some packing.” He nodded as he tied his shoelaces and then stood in front of me, his expression sober.

The teasing side of him had fallen behind a mask of sadness. “I’m sorry about all this, Brandon.”

“It’s not your fault,” I said, reaching up and stroking his cheek. It amazed me, how comfortable I was around him when we were alone. How I could be the self I’d wanted to be for so long.

He leaned into my touch. “If I hadn’t come to that audition --”

“I’d be dying of misery, Nicholas. I’m glad you came. I said no regrets, and I meant it.” He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. “You should get more sleep. You look wiped out.”

“I am. I think I will, thanks.”

“After all, I’ll be keeping you up all night. That’s a promise.” He touched my chin, his eyes not having lost any of their seriousness. “I don’t break my promises, Brandon.” I flushed, thinking about that one promise he’d made; when he saw the flame in my eyes, he laughed and tried to step away. I lunged for his arm and caught it, pulling him to me so that he fell off balance and onto the bed -- onto me. He wiggled into the space between my legs and laid his head on my chest. A sigh of contentment escaped him. I stroked his hair and he nuzzled me, clutching at my shoulder with one hand.

“Do you have to go right away?”

“In a minute.”

I closed my eyes. The bittersweet memory of our long night in the abandoned apartment surfaced in my mind. Just two days ago, it’d been, when I first held him like this.

An outpouring of emotion flooded me. I kissed him on the forehead, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close. “I’m going to miss you today.”