A Reluctant Queen (13 page)

“Yes, my lord,” she replied, and together they walked through the almost deserted King’s Court, up the shallow stairs, and into the corridor of the Royal Apartments. Muran was standing in the open doorway of Esther’s rooms and she prostrated herself when she saw the king.

“You have an hour to make the queen ready,” he said to her when she regained her feet.

“Yes, my lord,” the Mistress replied. Esther remained standing before the door of her room as Ahasuerus turned to the door on the opposite side of the corridor. One of the pages opened it for him. The king went in and the door closed behind him. Still Esther did not move. She felt physically weighed down by the burden of this moment.
It’s too much
, she thought.
It’s too much, Uncle Mordecai. You should never have done this to me
.

“Come in!” Muran said urgently.

Very slowly, Esther obeyed. Muran led her through the reception room and into the bedroom, which Esther had not seen before. The room was huge and airy. The bed was low and wide, with four golden posts and a canopy of gold-plated lattice work with jewels scattered through it. Esther stared at the bed, her heart beating heavily in her chest.

“I hope you’re not going to be silly about this, Esther,” Muran said sternly. “I have explained to you what is going to happen and there is nothing to fear. The king is a man of great experience. He will know how to do it right. He will be gentle. Now come along into the bath so we can get you ready.”

The queen’s bath was another splendid room, divided into two halves. One half was decorated with a rug and a low divan piled with cushions, while the other half held a marble bath raised on a marble step. At each end of the tub was a seat with a high back and a single armrest. Luara held Esther’s hair out of the way while Muran bathed her. The scent of jasmine filled Esther’s nostrils, but this time the luxury of warm water did not relax her. She stood like a statue while they dressed her in a soft, sleeveless night robe and led her back to the huge bedroom. The bed was also enormous; enough for a whole family to sleep in, Esther thought with repressed hysteria. It was draped in golden silk and its canopy was studded with jewels.

Muran folded back the soft linen sheets and Esther got in, sitting up with her back against the cushions. Muran straightened the sheets while Luara arranged her hair so that it fell symmetrically over her shoulders.

Esther turned to look at the large window. The Queen’s Apartment had windows in every room, and tonight the shutters were open to the warm evening. Accustomed as she had grown to the windowless harem, the window gave an illusion of freedom. The breeze felt lovely. If only she could just slip through that window and disappear.

Muran said to Luara, “The king will be coming shortly. We had better leave.”

Luara came over to smooth the sheets one last time and say softly, “It will be all right, my lady.”

Esther nodded and the women left. She had never felt so alone in her life.

Her modesty had been outraged many times in the harem, but what was to happen next would be the greatest outrage of all. Esther closed her eyes.
Dear Father in Heaven. Help me. If it is truly Your will that I should be here with this man, help me. Because I do not think I can bear this alone
.

Then the door opened and Ahasuerus came in. Her gaze lifted slowly to look at him. He was wearing a white long-sleeved night robe and there were sandals upon his feet. His damp hair was feathering at the ends as it dried. She registered all of these things as she sat motionless upon the soft mattress in the golden bed.

He approached the bed confidently, but when he reached it, he stopped and looked at her, his eyebrows lifted as if in surprise. “Esther. You look as frightened as a soldier going into battle for the first time.”

“I think I might be,” she whispered.

He came to sit on the side of the bed, saying with a trace of humor, “It will not be so terrible, I promise you.”

Her gaze held his. She bit her lip, trying to think of what she might say. He was waiting for a reply. “You see . . . I don’t know you,” she got out.

He looked puzzled. “Women never know their husbands.”

He was right. Certainly Persian women did not know their husbands. She thought fleetingly of Abraham, and of how much safer she would feel if it was he who was with her tonight.

She forced a smile. “I am sorry, my lord. Muran would say I was being silly.”

“You are being honest. You must always be honest with me, Esther. And there is nothing for you to fear, I promise. Did I not tell you I would take care of you?” He reached out and picked up a lock of her hair, running it through his fingers. “You are very beautiful,” he said deeply.

Esther said the first thing that came into her head. “So are you.”

He grinned at her, a youthful boyish look that for some reason made her feel better. Then he leaned forward and kissed her mouth.

It was not like the brief kiss he had given her in the bridal tent. This was a long kiss, a kiss that began tenderly but one he soon deepened and made slightly more demanding. She was passive at first, hesitant to respond, but then, as he continued the kiss, asking patiently, she opened her lips. After a while, her hands came up to hold his shoulders. Carefully he laid her back on the bed, continuing to kiss her as his hands began to move, slowly and knowledgably, over her body. Esther closed her eyes.

C
HAPTER
E
LEVEN

T
he packing for the court’s move to the summer palace of Ecbatana began the day after the wedding. Esther watched in bemused amazement as all of the chamberlains rushed about from dawn to sunset, trying to make certain that nothing would be left behind. The Wardens of the Linen, of the Silverware, of the Furnishings, and of the Wardrobe flitted between the different palace courts like birds on the wing, appropriating items as they went.

The progress of the move could be charted by the slow filling of the oxcarts that were lined up in the stable yard. When the carts were finally filled, the oxen would be hitched, the men would mount their horses, and the King’s Household would begin its annual trip to the mountains.

Esther was to travel in her own covered cart accompanied by Hathach and Luara. Three other carts were devoted to her other maids, her furniture, her clothing, and her traveling bath. The king, who was riding, had four carts devoted to his needs. Then there were the carts for his harem women and their servants and eunuchs. These were much fewer than they had been in Darius’ day. To Muran’s disgust, the king had chosen to leave most of the harem in Susa, taking only his two favorites and their children.

The courtyard was a chaos of men, horses, and oxen on the morning the journey began. First on the road were the thousand men of the Royal Bodyguard and after them came five thousand members of the Royal Kin. Next came the Magi, carrying the sacred fire of the Persian god Ahuramazda in a specially made golden case. Last in the line of horsemen came the king, accompanied by the lords of the court. After the horses came the carts carrying the families and harems of the men who were riding. Then there were the supply carts, needed because it was impossible for such a large host to live off the land. They left the palace later than the king wanted and it was six o’clock before they stopped on the first day. They had made it to the foothills of the mountains.

“How long is it going to take to get the camp set up and the food cooked?” Luara wanted to know. “By the time we get to bed it will be time to get up again!”

Esther accepted Hathach’s assistance from the cart and answered, “Tomorrow we will leave earlier so that we cover the king’s goal of twenty miles by four o’clock.” She had this information because Ahasuerus had told her on one of his regular nightly visits to her room.

“Just so, my lady,” Hathach agreed. “If the king had let them stop earlier, we might be on the road forever instead of ten days.”

“I for one cannot wait to get there,” Luara declared, stretching her back. “I want to smell some real mountain air.”

Esther looked at her maid, whose cheeks were flushed and eyes shining. Since her marriage she had managed to have Luara’s status changed from harem concubine to Queen’s Waiting Woman, and the girl’s intelligence and tart tongue were a great comfort to her.

“Do you love the mountains so much, Luara?” she asked.

Luara’s blue eyes blazed. “I was born in the mountains, my lady. Once they are in your blood, you cannot get them out.”

Hathach, who had been born in the mountains as well, agreed. Then he said, “I will have them set up your tent right away, my lady.”

Esther smiled. “Thank you, Hathach. I will be glad to refresh myself.”

Darkness had fallen by the time the camp was set up. Esther was sitting down at the table in her fully furnished tent when a page appeared at the doorway and spoke to Hathach. The eunuch nodded, then crossed to Esther. “The king has invited you to take supper in his tent, my lady,” he said.

Esther’s heart leaped. She put down the piece of bread she had been about to eat and forced herself to say calmly, “Very well, Hathach. When does he expect me?”

“As soon as you are ready, my lady.”

Esther looked at the untouched table and laughed. “I believe I am ready now. I am certainly hungry enough.”

“Let me fix your hair, my lady,” Luara said.

Esther made an impatient gesture. “You just fixed it an hour ago, Luara. I haven’t mussed it. It is fine.”

“Where is the queen’s veil?” Hathach asked one of the other serving women.

Someone came running with it and Luara put it on over Esther’s long, braided hair. “I won’t be able to see in the dark with this covering my face,” she complained.

Hathach said, “Hold on to my arm and I will lead you, my lady.”

Esther took his proffered arm and together they walked out into the camp.

Already it was cooler than it had been in Susa. The tents for the families of the Lords of the Court were set up around Esther’s, and she could hear children’s voices coming from several of them. The world looked indistinct and shadowy through her veil and she held tightly to Hathach’s arm.

It was not very far to the king’s tent. Esther waited while Hathach spoke to the guard at the door. The guard stepped aside immediately, and she accompanied Hathach into the brightness within.

Through her veil she could see that the king was sitting at a carved wood dining table, which was completely set with a service of gold. The pungent aroma of spiced pork drifted from one of the food dishes. A man was standing by Ahasuerus’ side, speaking to him in a low voice. The king was smiling, as though something humorous had been said. Two oil lamps provided the light, one hung from a roof support and the other was set on a low table nearby.

“You may remove your veil, Esther,” Ahasuerus said. “I wish you to meet Haman, my Bowbearer.”

Esther froze at the name and her heart began to hammer. This was the man whom Mordecai feared so much that he had wanted to place her in the palace to counteract his influence. She lifted her hands slowly and pulled off her veil. “My lord Haman,” she said in a careful voice.

“My lady.” The Edomite bowed low.

He had figured in Mordecai’s talk as some kind of monster, so she was surprised by his relative youth and handsomeness. She watched as he turned back to Ahasuerus and said, “I will leave you now, my lord.”

“Yes, seek out your own family and have your supper,” Ahasuerus replied.

Esther was shocked when the Edomite did not prostrate himself, but instead bent and kissed the king on the cheek. Only members of the Royal Kin were allowed to do that. The king must hold Haman in extremely high regard to allow him this privilege.

After Haman left, Esther walked toward the table where the king still sat. “I have heard Haman’s name before.” She hoped she sounded merely curious. “He is a Babylonian?”

“He lived in Babylon but his family is from Palestine,” Ahasuerus replied. “Sit down, Esther, and tell me how you survived the day’s journey. I am sorry it was so long.”

“It
was
a long day,” she admitted, taking the chair that was being held for her by a page. “It is so hot and airless inside that cart.”

Ahasuerus indicated a platter of seasoned pork and one of the pages hastened to serve it to him. “It will get better now that we are in the mountains. At night, in fact, you may even feel cold.”

The page looked questioningly at her and she nodded that she, too, would have the pork. Over the last months she had become so accustomed to eating unclean food that she rarely thought about it anymore. “Cold in June? Surely that is impossible.”

“Not at all,” he replied. He finished chewing his pork, swallowed, and looked at her from under half-lowered lids. “Don’t worry, though. I will keep you warm.”

Esther knew that look, that tone of voice. Her body reacted to him instantly, and the reaction frightened her. She had never dreamed she would feel this kind of attraction for Ahasuerus. Living in the strict world of her Jewish culture, she hadn’t even known this kind of attraction existed.

Ahasuerus, of course, knew all about it. He knew exactly what to do to make her desire him. He had probably made love to hundreds of women. What they did together, which seemed so wondrous to Esther, was something he did with many other women. He had brought his two favorite concubines, Ilis and Mardene, with him on this trip to Ecbatana. He had children with them. She could not, must not, mistake his skill for something more than what it was. She must not make the mistake of falling in love with him.