A Rose In Flanders Fields (33 page)

‘She’s had cause to doubt my judgement before,’ I reminded her, ‘and she’s only just forgiven me for that. She hated me for a while.’

‘What on earth makes you say that?’

I told her how Kitty had reacted when I’d seen her, and of the row with Lizzy, and as she gently lifted the bandage away Mrs Adams shook her head. ‘Well, that might be what she was thinking right at that moment, but let me tell you, Evie, that girl barely spoke of anything else when you were gone, except what an amazing person you are.’

For a moment I thought I’d misheard, and just looked blankly at her. ‘I’m sorry?’

‘Oh yes, she might have had a flash of temper, and I’m sure she did feel a bit betrayed. Seeing you when she’d just found out she was pregnant knocked her for six all over again, but after you left last time, and she came to take over from Lizzy here, all she would talk about was what you’d taught her, how you gave everything to the job, and how you’d never give up on a Tommy if there was the slightest breath of hope left.’

‘But I’m not a doctor, nor a nurse.’

‘No, but you saved lives nevertheless. And when you couldn’t, Kitty said you just sat there, keeping them comp’ny. Made them feel less alone.’ Her voice roughened. ‘I wish my Harry’d had someone like you there at the end.’

‘Mrs Adams, I –’

‘Frances. Don’t talk now, just let me get this cleaned up.’

The door opened and Belinda and Jane came in, followed by Lizzy, who gave a little gasp of alarm when she saw me.

‘It’s all right,’ I said quickly, ‘it’s just time to change the bandage and Frances kindly offered to help. No luck, I take it?’

Lizzy shook her head. ‘Do you think she caught the train back to her parents?’

I’d like to have believed so, but shook my head, biting my lip as the movement tugged at the stitches again. ‘She was scared to go home, her parents don’t sound the type who would take her in anyway, once they found out.’

‘Poor girl,’ Frances said, and she sounded angry as well as sad. ‘A girl should have people who love her around at a time like this.’

‘She did,’ I pointed out, ‘and she ran away from us.’

‘I don’t know where else to look,’ Lizzy said, accepting a mug of tea from Belinda. Another was placed on the table at my elbow, and I smiled my thanks. Frances finished cleaning the side of my neck, and rummaged in a tin before finding a fresh pad of wadded lint and placing it on the wound.

‘Belinda, dear, fetch me the first-aid box.’

‘I was going to go back to the cottage,’ I said to Lizzy. ‘I thought she might have gone back there while we’ve been out.’

‘Good idea,’ Lizzy said. ‘I’ll go instead.’

‘Finish your tea first,’ I ordered, and she smiled and saluted me with her cup.

‘Yes, My Lady.’

‘Where are all the bandages?’ Frances said with some exasperation. ‘I was sure we had two brand new ones in here.’

‘I used one on Sally’s ankle when she turned it last week,’ Belinda offered. ‘But I don’t know about the other.’

‘The dog,’ I said, remembering. Four faces turned to me in surprise. ‘The last time we came, Jane had just bandaged the paw of one of your dogs.’

Jane’s face brightened. ‘Of course! He’d got caught in some chicken wire, don’t you remember, Mrs Adams?’

‘Well, it’s no help knowing that,’ Frances grumbled. ‘Evie needs this covering up sharpish.’

‘Oh, I know!’ Belinda exclaimed, and pulled open the back door. ‘Wait here!’

‘I do hope she’s not going to take the bandage off the dog,’ Frances sighed. ‘It’s just the sort of thing she might do, bless her. She’s not the brightest of buttons.’

‘Where do we look if Kitty’s not back at the cottage?’ Jane asked, but no one had an answer. We’d gone into every shed and out-house, and every barn on the farm, we’d even checked the pigsties and the hen houses, in case she’d sacrificed comfort and fresh air for the security they’d afford her.

‘Maybe she’s found her own way back to Belgium?’ Lizzy ventured.

I nodded. ‘She might be trying to get to the docks by herself. Did she have money for the train?’

‘I don’t know,’ Lizzy said. ‘I still think we should try and contact her parents too, just in case.’

‘I think so too,’ I said. ‘I have their address, and I expect we could find their telephone number from that. My address book is in my bag in Emily’s room, I can drive you back down in a few minutes, as soon as I’m patched up.’

I twisted to pick up my tea, rather awkwardly with my left hand, but a distant cry from outside made me drop it. It was Belinda.

‘Come quick!’

After a startled glance at one another we all surged forwards at once, and Lizzy reached the door first. Belinda was still several yards away across the yard, and running towards us, but she stopped and gestured behind her at the ambulance I’d parked haphazardly by the wall.

‘She’s hiding in there!’

With one hand holding the lint against my neck, aware of the pain only as a very distant thing, I ran across the yard, outstripping the others by several paces. My heart was thudding with a mixture of relief and infuriated embarrassment; I had driven the blessed thing here all the way from the cottage this morning, and she’d been in there all the time! The flap at the back had already been loosened by Belinda, and I flung it aside, words of angry remonstration ready on my lips, but they never fell.

Kitty slumped in the corner, her eyes closed, her breathing harsh and uneven. I crouched beside her, holding my hand out behind me to keep everyone else back.

‘Skittles? It’s Evie.’ I gently touched her leg, and she moaned and jerked away. Then she opened her eyes and looked at me in the gloom, and the fear I saw there struck me hard. ‘It’s all right, darling,’ I said, still quiet, trying to appear calm, as if my heart weren’t racing to climb out of my chest through my throat.

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, then she leaned forward and grabbed at my hand, her eyes widening. ‘Swain!’

‘What? Never mind, let’s get you –’

‘Swain, the name of the family in Liverpool. I remembered in the middle of the night and came to tell you.’

‘Hush, sweetheart. Uncle Jack has already left, we’ll try and reach him later. We need to get you back to bed, you’re too ill to be out here.’

‘I wanted to tell you right away,’ she broke off, choking back a sob. ‘But I started to get cramps. I thought they’d go away if I could only lie down…’

‘Cramps?’ My hand had been outstretched to help her to her feet, but when she put her own hand out I withdrew it, a sick feeling creeping through me. ‘No, don’t try to stand.’ Without thinking, I shifted my own position and slipped one hand behind her back, the other beneath her knees, and even as I lifted I heard Frances Adams exclaim loudly behind me, and felt the pain shriek through my neck and shoulder. My vision darkened and I stumbled, but strong hands held me up and then the burden of Kitty’s limp body was taken from me. I sank to the floor trying not to be sick, or to faint, and then Lizzy was there, her familiar voice telling me off in the strongest possible terms, but her arms warm and gentle around me. Eventually she helped me to my feet and I saw we were now alone; someone had taken Kitty inside to warmth and safety, but I felt stickiness on the hand that had tried to lift her, and knew it was too late.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The doctor closed the bedroom door gently, and ushered Frances, Lizzy and me ahead of him down the stairs. Back in the kitchen, he regarded us with a serious expression, and it was Frances he turned to eventually. ‘Were you aware the young lady was in the family way, Mrs Adams?’

She nodded. ‘She was…treated most roughly while on active duty.’

‘I see.’ His face softened in sympathy.

‘There was blood,’ I said, and my voice wavered. ‘When I tried to pick her up to carry her back here.’ I kept my eyes on him, and he cleared his throat but didn’t reply immediately. ‘Doctor Nichols, the blood?’

‘Yes. The young lady is no longer expecting.’

I let out a shaking breath; of course I’d known, but it was hard to hear it.

Nichols pursed his lips. ‘I’ve done all I can for her, now it’s your turn.’

He looked at me now, and held out a hand to Belinda, who placed in it one of the bandages she’d gone out to the ambulance to find. ‘You do understand the concept of rest, Mrs Davies? As opposed to trying to lift young women off the floors of ambulances?’

‘I do,’ I said, feeling foolish again, and the pain in my shoulder was throbbing madly, as if in reproof. ‘It was instinct. Kitty’s…well, she’s like a sister to me.’

‘What caused it?’ Frances wanted to know.

‘It was very early days,’ Dr Nichols said. ‘Who knows why these things happen? Nature might have taken a hand, or the young lady might –’ He broke off, embarrassed to say it aloud, but we all knew what he’d been thinking.

‘No,’ Frances said with quiet conviction. ‘She wouldn’t. Not Kitty.’

‘What can we do for her?’ I said, to steer the conversation towards the positive.

‘She’ll need plenty of fluids, and she’s lost some blood so keep her still for a while. No travelling, no exertion. Other than that,’ Nichols finished tying off my bandage, ‘there’s very little you
can
do.’

He made me open my mouth before he left. ‘Still gargling with salt?’ I made a strangled sound of affirmation, and he nodded, satisfied. ‘Healing nicely, Mrs Davies. But stay off the toffees for a while, eh?’

When he’d gone, Frances went back upstairs to see Kitty, telling us to stay put; good intentions or not, the girl didn’t need to be crowded. Lizzy and I waited, and Lizzy cleaned up the spilled tea and made fresh, which we didn’t drink. We couldn’t think of a thing to say, and both looked up with relief when Frances eventually came back down.

‘Is she in pain?’ I asked.

She shook her head. ‘Not now. But she’s heartsick, the poor dear girl. Thinks it was all her fault.’

Lizzy looked as appalled as I felt. ‘Why ever would she think that?’

‘She says it’s because she wished it. She wanted it gone, and now it is.’

‘But that wasn’t because of anything she did,’ I said, feeling even more wretched. I could only hope she wouldn’t continue to believe it, or she’d punish herself forever.

‘She’s been ill for a few days,’ Lizzy said, and her musing tone made me look at her closely.

‘Do you think it’s connected?’

‘I don’t know. Do people usually become sick?’

‘I don’t know either,’ I admitted, ‘but it seems quite likely the other way around. If she has some kind of illness it might have affected her badly enough.’

‘We’ll see how she is in the morning,’ Frances said. ‘If she’s no better we’ll call Doctor Nichols back.’

I nodded. ‘She was saying she had a cold, but yesterday she was rubbing her neck as if it was aching, and she’s got quite a temperature. Maybe it’s ’flu.’

‘Stay here tonight,’ Frances said to me. ‘I’d like to keep an eye on you. And you, Lizzy, you’re looking done in, girl. You’re not back to full strength yourself.’ She looked from one of us to the other and back again, then raised her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Goodness sakes, girls, will one of you please learn to take care of yourselves, then teach the other two?’

Kitty was no better by the following morning. The doctor called around again after breakfast, and spent a long time with her while we waited in the kitchen. Eventually he came back down, and pronounced her suffering from influenza, on top of everything.

‘Keep her rested,’ he said, ‘and don’t let her go back out in the cold until she’s fully better.’

Belinda sighed. ‘Does that mean
I’ll
have to help with the lambing now?’

Nichols looked up sharply. ‘Eh? What’s that?’

‘The lambing,’ Belinda said, and licked some butter off the knife. ‘Kitty enjoyed it ever so much, and she took my turns. But if she’s not to go out in the cold I expect I shall have to do it.’

‘You mean that child has been…’ Nichols shook his head. ‘Well, that puts a different complexion on things.’ He turned to Frances. ‘Mrs Adams, it might very well not be the ’flu at all, more likely thatMiss Maitland has contracted a disease from the sheep. It’s very dangerous for expectant mothers to come into contact with livestock, I thought that was common knowledge.’ He picked up his bag, a little crossly. ‘With that in mind, I shall now go and examine her again.’

We all looked at one another in stunned, guilty shock. Frances and Lizzy clearly felt responsible for letting Kitty work with the lambs and not being aware of the risks, and Belinda had cheerfully given over her share of the tasks. As for me…

After Doctor Nichols had left a little while later, having confirmed his new diagnosis, we were still helpless to find the words to ease each other’s remorse, and eventually Frances reverted to her brisk, businesslike self. She despatched the three girls to their jobs, told Lizzy to take me back to the cottage, and prepared to nurse Kitty through the fever that had taken hold. Unable to contribute anything useful, Lizzy and I agreed, and before long we were pushing open the door to her mother’s cottage, feeling the peace and familiarity like a comforting cloak we could pull around us and shut everything else out.

Lizzy took a dark bottle from the cupboard under the window-seat. Uncle Jack’s favourite single malt whisky. She poured a generous measure into two glasses, and we drank in silence, each lost to our own thoughts. Hers, clearly, to Jack, and mine to Will. My own Lord William. I felt again the clenching loss of the paper rose that symbolised everything we had meant together these past six years, but made myself remember that the hands that had made it were still living, still strong, still able to create, even if they no longer wanted to; he was so much luckier than he might have been, so much luckier than countless others.

I sipped my whisky and let my head rest against the back of the armchair, and the low, insistent throb in my neck and shoulder gradually faded. My heartbeat slowed for what seemed like the first time in days, and with the warmth of the whisky loosening my limbs into blissful relaxation, the pictures of a dark, frightening future were gradually replaced by memories. They were safer; they couldn’t change. They could hurt, but they could not kill.